I do not own anything except for my OCs.

Opening Act

The scene shifts into the future. A boy is getting ready to go to sleep. His grandmother walks in.

"Grandma Mary, read me a bedtime story please" he begged.

"Absolutely dear" it was…Hayley and Jeff's daughter as an elderly woman. She is voiced by Eva Marie Saint.

"Any crazy adventures you had Grandma?" the grandson asked.

"Well, there was this story that happened before I was born and it involved a football game" Mary said.

"Oh boy, this is going to be fun" the boy said.

End of Opening Act

Act 1

"Once upon a time, my grandfather was bored at the CIA up until one day…" Mary narrated.

The scene takes place at the CIA. Stan is playing on his computer, looking bored.

"Come on, when will something exciting happen?" he wondered. He suddenly surfs online and sees a contest.

"What's this?" he wondered. "The 10th caller wins tickets for the Super Bowl, where the New England Patriots take on the Seattle Seahawks. I like where this is going."

Bullock arrives. "Smith, what on Earth are you doing?" he asked.

"Sir, the Super Bowl is coming up and I really want to go. I was wondering if you guys would you know, rig the 10th caller contest for me" Stan begged.

"Smith, the Super Bowl is great but there's no way it's possible…unless you invite me to go with you" Bullock suggested.

"Absolutely sir" Stan agreed.

"I'll see what I can do" Bullock said as he left.

Later, the rest of the Smith family and Jeff were sitting on the couch, watching TV. Stan comes in, very excited.

"Hey family, guess what? I got tickets to the Super Bowl!" he cheered. The rest of the family cheers with him.

"That's great honey. When are we leaving?" Francine asked.

"Whoa, hang on a second Francine. Here's the thing: I can only invite the two of you to come with me to the Arizona, where the Super Bowl will take place" Stan explained.

"Mr. S, I want to go. I like watching football, although why do they call it football if they use their hands in the first place? Sports are weird, huh?" Jeff wondered.

"Jeff please, so anyways, who really wants to go?" Stan asked.

"Are the Broncos playing?" Francine asked.

"No they're not" Stan answered.

"Screw that" Francine rebutted.

"Dad, I don't really watch football that much. I think I'll pass" Hayley added.

"Stan, I can't go. I got my lady meeting that day" Roger explained.

"I'll go" Klaus said.

"Sorry Klaus but you're a pet. No pets allowed at the Super Bowl period!" Stan said.

"Aww man that was my one and only chance I'll get a human body" Klaus added.

The scene shifts back to the future.

"Wait a minute, you had a talking fish back then?" the boy asked.

"As a matter of fact, we did. So anyways…" Mary continues her story.

The scene returns back to the present.

"Dad, I'll go but I kind of want to invite Zoey to go with me though" Steve said.

"I'm sorry Steve, but Zoey wanted me to help her babysit Greg and Terry's child Libby. She said something about her wanting to speak English" Hayley added.

Cutaway

Zoey is reading a bunch of teaching books in her room.

"My God, they get paid little for doing this?" she wondered.

Cutaway Ends

"Fine, Steve and Jeff, you guys can come with me and the rest of the guys from the CIA" Stan said.

"Thanks dad! This is going to be fun" Steve cheered.

"Mr. S, I promise I'll be on my best behavior" Jeff added.

A few days later, Stan, Bullock, Reynolds, Dick, Steve, and Jeff were outside of a coach bus, waiting to get inside.

"Dad, how did you get this amazing bus?" Steve wondered.

"Son, the CIA calls this the fun bus. You kids have school buses, we get coach buses" Stan added.

"Mr. S, isn't Steve a little too young to drink?" Jeff asked as Steve glares at him.

"Jeff, Steve has my permission to drink" Stan answered.

"All right dad" Steve cheered as he fist punches Jeff.

The bus finally opens.

"All right gentlemen are you ready to go to the Super Bowl?" the bus driver asked.

(Cheering)

"Wow, we have a lot of party people here! All right boys let's all go to the Super Bowl!" he cheered.

Everyone got inside the bus and the door closes and the vehicle drives off.

"Wait, can I come too? I want to go watch the Seahawks beat the Patriots!" a nerd asked as he was running.

"Get a life, loser!" Stan taunted as everyone laughed.

"I left my shoe there!" the nerd complained as someone throws a shoe as his head.

"Wait, I left my pants there!" a guy comes running, wearing only blue boxers with red hearts. Somebody throws a pair of jeans at him.

Inside the bus, Bullock stands up.

"Gentlemen, I have an important announcement to make" he said. "Yes we're going to the Super Bowl, but we're here because somebody…deflated the footballs and as members of the CIA, we are going to investigate it."

Everyone froze for a second, then…they we back to partying.

"(Sigh) the nice things I ever do to people" Bullock shook his head.

Meanwhile, Zoey arrives at Greg and Terry's house, wearing her normal outfit, but with a professor lab coat and big glasses. Hayley also arrives.

"Hello little girl, my name is Professor Wilson and this is your teaching assistant Hayley Smith. Today is the day you will learn how to speak English. How does that sound?" Zoey asked Libby, who is…sitting on the couch watching TV.

"I have no idea what's going on" Libby said in French with English subtitles.

"Yes you will, little girl. Whether you like it or not, you will learn how to speak American English if you want to be more normal" Zoey explained in French with English subtitles as well.

"Wow Zoey, I didn't know you can speak French" Hayley was amazed.

"There's a lot of stuff you don't know about me Hayley. So much that it's not even funny" Zoey added.

"I'll pass" Libby said.

"I am your babysitter and you will do as I say. If you want to take out $100 million worth of student loans, be my guest" Zoey snapped.

"Zoey, you don't even go to college" Hayley said.

"Shut it" Zoey snapped.

"I want ice cream after our lesson" Libby requested.

"Deal" Zoey agreed as she takes out a board with markers.

"I should have gone with Jeff to the Super Bowl" Hayley told herself.

End of Act 1

Act 2

Francine and Kat were having drinks at the Smith living room.

"Kat thanks so much for coming here. I thought that the household will be boring" Francine said.

"Anytime Francine; Michael had to go to work. Apparently, he's forced to defend someone who threatened a high school principal with multiple nipple attacks" Kat explained.

"You know what we should do? Let's watch Grey's Anatomy and have a drinking contest. Every time they play "How to Save a Life", let's take shots!" Francine suggested.

"You're on!" Kat cheered as Francine turns on the TV. Moments later, they become extremely drunk.

"You know, Patrick McDreamy looks an awful like my husband" Francine said in a slurred tone.

"No I'm pretty sure it's my husband, you bee-otch" Kat said, also in a slurred tone.

"I am not a bee-otch, you bee-otch" Francine argued.
"I know you are, but what am I?" Kat asked.

Roger walks by. He's wearing a blonde wig and a purple dress.

"Hello ladies" the alien cheered.

Meanwhile, the guys arrived at the University of Phoenix Stadium.

"Here we are boys, the home of Super Bowl 49" Stan said.

"Wow, this looks like fun. Now what?" Steve wondered.

"Guys, welcome to the University of Phoenix Stadium. In a moment, we're going to go inside and watch some football" Bullock said.

(Cheering)

"However, we will find the deflated balls so that the game is fair. Watch and learn" Bullock said as they approached towards the gates.

"Tickets?" the ticket guy asked.

"Yeah, about that…" Bullock's eyes glows with a blue color and the ticket guy turns into ice.

"Run, run, run" Bullock ordered as everyone ran inside the stadium. The song "Song 2" by Blur plays as they try to find the locker rooms with the balls.

"There it is! Gentlemen, we found the balls" Bullock announced as they see a bunch of footballs on the ground.

"Sir, I thought you had tickets for the game" Stan wondered.

"Shh, we can't let them find out. If they catch us, we're dead!" Bullock argued. "Now, everyone get a ball and check to see if they're okay."

Everyone complied as each person grabbed a football.

"OH cool, I got the one Tom Brady uses. Huh, this one isn't deflated" Steve pondered.

Meanwhile, Francine and Kat continue to drink more. Roger is simply watching them.

"So ladies, I heard you like Patrick Dempsey. Is that true? He is just a handsome guy" the alien said.

"They don't call him McDreamy for any reason" Kat answered.

"Hey, you know what we should do?" Francine whispered something inside their ears.

"Let's do it. Klaus, get your ass over here!" Roger shouted. The goldfish enters.

"Guys, I'm watching Germany play against Spain. What's so important that I have to miss parts of an actual football game?" he asked.

"Klaus, you know how much you want to see what's under my dress? Now it's your chance. After that, feel free to look under Kat's dress" Francine explained.

"I love to!" Klaus cheered as he ran, but Roger catches him and puts him in a lamb costume.

"What the hell is this?!" Klaus screamed as the ladies and Roger laugh at him.

"Dance sheep, dance" Roger demanded.

"I'm not going to dance!" the goldfish argued as Roger kicks him.

"Okay fine!" Klaus does the same lamb dance that Dipper from Gravity Falls did.

"Aww, he is so cute!" Francine and Kat roared with laughter.

Cutaway

We see Dipper is reading this chapter.

"Never again!" he shouted as he covers his eyes.

Cutaway Ends

Meanwhile, Hayley and Zoey are teaching Libby some basic English words.

"This is your arm" Zoey sticks out her left arm. "My arm has a hand. My hand has 5 fingers. My fingers have fingernails. Now, repeat what I just said."

"What the hell is this?" Libby asked.

"Hey, no swearing in Professor Wilson's class" Zoey snapped. "Try this: this is my hair. My hair is dirty blonde. This is my scarf. My scarf is purple. This is a shirt. My shirt is white. These are my pants. My pants are black. These are my shoes…"

"…and your shoes stink!" Hayley taunted as she covers her nose.

"Be quiet Hayley; your sandals stink worse!" Zoey snapped.

"This is so boring" Libby told herself.

"Okay, okay so let's try this: my friend is named Hayley. Her name is Hayley. My name is Zoey. Your name is Libby. Repeat what I said" Zoey instructed.

"This class is boring. The ladies are dumb. This class is a waste of time. I'm telling my dads" Libby added.

"I give up. Go play with your dollies!" Zoey surrendered as Libby went to play with her Barbie dolls.

"Wow, you're giving up already. Are you okay Zoey?" Hayley asked.

"How on Earth is she going to survive the real world?" Zoey asked.

Meanwhile, the guys finished looking at each football.

"Sir, I hate to say this, but none of them are deflated. I guess it's something the media said just to get attention" Stan explained.

"I guess you're right Smith. Okay everybody, let's find somewhere to watch the game" Bullock surrendered as someone walks in. It was a short guy with white hair, wearing a black tuxedo.

"Well, what do we have here? Looking for the balls? There are none here and the Patriots will suffer" he wondered.

Later, the guys grabbed Stan and ram him through a jail door.

"1, 2, 3!" they are using his head to break free.

"Oww, why did you guys choose me? This was not my idea!" he shouted.

"Hey, you wanted to see the Super Bowl live in person instead at home. So basically, this was your fault" Reynolds argued.

"Guys, we need a better plan to get out of here. I know the balls are deflated and I know the Patriots are innocent, but how?" Bullock wondered.

Suddenly, a brown animal approaches.

"Well, what do we have here?" someone said.

"Oh my God, it's you" Bullock said.

"He's…a Patriots fan. Save us! Plus do you mind buying us some hot dogs? I'm hungry!" Jeff begged as everyone glared at him.

End of Act 2

Act 3

"What are you guys doing in Super Bowl jail?" it was…Reggie who asked.

"Reggie, we need your help. We were caught investigating balls and now they threw us in here and there's no hope for escape!" Stan cried.

"I'll free you if I'm working for you, but wait, Bullock fired me because he thinks that I'm a freak for watching butterfly poon. Forget it!" the koala refused.

"Please Reggie, save us. If you do, I'll give you back your job. I promise" Bullock begged.

"Hold on, my homies. I'll get you out of there in no time. I told the cops that someone is trying to take a dump on Tom Brady's football helmet, so that will buy some time" the koala explained.

"You knew about this?" Steve asked.

"Duh, I'm a koala, remember? Koalas like me know everything" Reggie said.

"Can you please help us out? I promise to legit rehire you back to the CIA in no time" Bullock explained.

"Stand back" Reggie said as he sharpened his nails and attack the lock, thus setting the guys free.

"Run you fools!" the koala ordered as they ran.

"See you Monday, koala" Bullock added.

Meanwhile, Zoey and Hayley are sitting on the couch, looking sad as Libby is playing with her dolls.

"I give up. I just wish that Libby would simple speak English. I guess I can't force her to talk in a language she's not comfortable with" Zoey said.

"It's not your fault. It's Greg and Terry's fault. They're forcing their daughter to butt kiss for a PhD. That's not right. I know Libby will be extremely successful. Come on, let's go home. Out moms are getting drunk as it seems" Hayley said as we see Francine and Kat streaking on the streets. (A/E their naked bodies are completely blurred.) Roger is recoding them while running.

"This is amazing! Two hot moms streaking at Langley Falls. This is the best day ever!" the alien cheered.

"Oh God, this is why I hate my mom drinking!" Zoey shouted.

"Don't be sad Zoey" it was…Libby speaking English.

"I have every right to be…was that you Libby?" Zoey wondered.

"(Sighs) yes it's me. I'm sorry for being disrespectful to you and Hayley. It's my dads who are forcing me to talk in French only. Since they're not home, I'd figure why not? You ladies are all right" Libby explained.

"All right Libby, that's my girl!" Zoey cheered.

"Are you happy now Zoey?" Hayley asked with a smile.

"Yes I am"' Zoey answered.

"Want some cookies from my Easy Bake oven?" Libby suggested.

"Yes please" Zoey agreed.

"I love some" Hayley said as the girls went upstairs to Libby's room.

"Please don't ever tell both of my fathers that I spoke English today" Libby demanded.

"Our lips are sealed" Zoey said.

Later, the guys go inside…a VIP suite club with food and beer on the table. They began to eat as they are watching the game from outside the window.

"Hey look, the Pats scored a touchdown!" Steve cheered.

(Cheering)

Suddenly, the old man returns.

"It's you. You're the one who deflated the balls just so the Patriots will take the blame and be hated by the media!" Bullock shouted.

"What are you guys doing here? You're supposed to be in jail. I'm not going to let you guys reveal to the public that I framed the Patriots with the deflated balls. No one is going to stop me, not even you guys! I am Wood, damn it!" he shouted.

"I'm sorry. My ears are stuffed from the cheering. Do you mind explaining what you just said? I couldn't quite hear you. I'm an old man" Bullock suggested.

"Guys, we won!" Steve cheered.

(Cheering)

"I'm out!" Wood tries to run away, but Jeff catches him right away.

"Not on my watch. I'm going home with my wife" Jeff said as Stan looked amazed to what his son-in-law did.

"Hayley is right to marry you after all. That's my boy!" Stan cheered.

"Dad, I thought I was your boy" Steve said.

"You too" Stan said with a smile as he pats his son's should, who also smiles.

Meanwhile, the cops arrived and arrested Wood and placed him inside a police car and drives off.

"Well done gentlemen. We had our fun and solved the mystery of the inflated balls. I do have some bad news: it's time to go home" Bullock said.

(Groaning)

"Well, at least this was a fun experience" Stan said as he, Steve, and Jeff are boarding on the bus.

"Dad, will we ever go to another game again?" Steve wondered.

"Only if there's a scandal, son" Stan answered.

"Cool Mr. S" Jeff said as all the guys went inside the coach bus and it drives off.

Out of nowhere, John Madden and I (pen123) are outside of the scene. We are both holding microphones.

"What do you think of tonight's episode pen?" John Madden asked.

"Well, I have to say…" I was interrupted.

"It wasn't good because there wasn't any football involved. That's what the fans came to watch: some football! Come on, who doesn't love a game of football? I mean, look at this: a scrawny teenage boy dating a supermodel? That's like Weird Al Yankovic dating Megan Fox!" John explained as he draws a diagram on a scene from this chapter. "I mean look at this, no girl would want to date a nerd like him."

"John, it's a story" I explained.

"Oh, I can see that. Well, join us next week as the Chicago Bears take on the Indianapolis Colts. I'm John Madden. See you next week" John said.

"There's no more football next week" I mouthed.

The scene shifts back to the future.

(Credits roll)

"…and so the guys returned home, but Stan had to pick up his wife from jail after paying $2000 for bail and Zoey's dad did the same. Libby never spoke English ever again. The end" Mary said as her grandson is asleep.

"Good night dear" she kissed him on the forehead and she walks out the door.

"Grandma?" the boy asked as she returned. "Who's pen123?"

Mary gives him a blank stare.

End of Act 3

Well, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Next week, be on the lookout for a new member who will join "Wheels and the Legman". Read and review and see you later, folks!