Disclaimer: The Office belongs to NBC and Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. And one of the pranks isn't mine, but I'll get to that later.

Chapter 3: Of Nitwits and Nargles

"Am I having fun?" Karen repeated incredulously, fidgeting with her blindfold. "What kind of question is that?! Andy's my partner," she told the camera sadly, as if this last bit explained it all.

"No," Angela said, blunt as ever.

"Of course I'm having fun!" Andy gushed, head over heels with excitement. "Karen and I've already found the stick and the berries and the dirty sock and the chewing gum and the bobby pin, and we've only been hunting for five minutes!"

"I'd be having more fun if my hair looked better," Kelly sulked, swiping her bangs out of her eyes. "Somebody stole my bobby pin…."

Jim surveyed the list Michael had given him as he directed Pam down one of the trails leading out of the clearing. "First thing on the list is women's underpants," he informed his blindfolded charge. "I forgot mine at home today, so…looks like you're going commando, Beesly!"

Pam laughed. "Nice try. What's the actual first item?"

"A rock."

"Wow, this is going to be the hardest scavenger hunt ever," Pam said sarcastically, crouching down as Jim directed her towards a pebble. "It's going to be so much fun…."

Snapping twigs alerted Jim to the arrival of another group. Looking around, he realized that Dwight was steering Michael down the same path as him and Pam.

"LEFT!" Dwight screamed at Michael, whose arms were flung wide in a lame attempt to keep his balance. Michael stumbled to the left and hit a tree. "NO! I MEANT YOUR OTHER LEFT!"

Pam was still on the ground, feeling around in the grass for the rock. Grinning, Jim leaned down and whispered in her ear, "I think this scavenger hunt just got good."

Pam turned towards the sound of his voice. "Is that Dwight I hear?"

"You bet."

"Oh, do you think it's a good time to mess with him?!"

"Absolutely I do." Jim quickly assembled a pile of palm-sized stones next to Pam's sneaker, a place that was invisible to Dwight. He moved her hands so that they covered the rocks. Crouching down next to her, his breath hot on her neck, he instructed, "When you deem the time appropriate – and I'm trusting you big time, here! – chuck one of these rocks into the woods."

"But what if I hit someone!" she exclaimed, tugging at her blindfold. "Take this thing off! I can't see where I'm throwing!"

Jim grinned. "That's where the trust comes in. Aim true, soldier!" Squeezing her hand, he stood up and waited for Dwight and Michael to come closer. Once Michael was busy feeling up a flowered bush, Jim got Dwight's attention.

"Oh. My. God!" Jim cried, pointing at the top of a tall, leafy tree. Dwight immediately ditched Michael to come to Jim's aid.

"What's wrong?" Dwight demanded, brandishing his pepper spray.

Jim looked at a tree, rubbed his eyes, and peered at its branches once more. "It's nothing…" he muttered. "I mean, it can't be, but I just…I think…no, I swear I saw a Nargle in that tree!"

Dwight looked dumbstruck. "A Nargle?"

Wide eyes fixed on the tree, Jim nodded gravely. "A Nargle."

Dwight snorted. "Like in Harry Potter?"

"Exactly."

"That's ridiculous!" Dwight scoffed. "There's no such thing as Nargles! Wizards don't actually exist, Jim, J.K. Rowling just made them up!"

Jim rounded on Dwight, affronted. "What do you mean, she made them up?!" he cried.

"Simple, really," Dwight said in an arrogant matter that suggested he'd pondered this notion upon many an occasion. "First, if wizards exist, I'd have received my letter from Hogwarts at the age of 11, because I'm obviously wizard material. No such luck. Also, how could J.K. Rowling know about Harry and He Who Must Not Be Named if she's a Muggle? Muggles aren't supposed to know about wizards."

Jim plastered a look of shock across his features. "I can't believe you don't know! It's all over the internet – J.K. Rowling is a Squib! She knows all about the Boy Who Lived and Voldemort" – Dwight winced and covered his ears – "because her parents are wizards, and she made money off of Muggles by breaching the code of secrecy! Everyone knows that! The Harry Potter books are fact! C'mon, Dwight, I can't believe you didn't know that!"

Dwight went from looking skeptical to looking defensive. "Of course I knew that," he said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I know everything."

"Oh, well that's so lucky," Jim gushed, pretending to be relieved, "because I have no idea what to do if a Nargle attacks. If one falls out of the tree on us, we're dead meat, unless you have a counter attack…."

"Counter attack against what?" Dwight asked anxiously.

Jim looked at Dwight like he had six heads. "I can't believe you don't know," he muttered, shaking his head.

Dwight was really nervous now. "Tell me!" he snapped.

"Nargles…they fall out of trees, onto their victims, and they…they suck out your eyeballs!"

Pam picked this moment to chuck a rock, which landed with a loud "thud" in the bushes behind the tree. Dwight jumped about ten feet in the air and sprinted back to Michael, screaming "A NARGLE FELL OUT OF THAT TREE! A NARGLE FELL OUT OF THAT TREE!" with his hands over his eyes. Dwight seized Michael's hand and dragged him back to the clearing, away from the Nargle-infested trees.

Clutching his sides, which ached from laughing, Jim plopped onto the ground next to Pam, who was beside herself with laughter. Once her giggles had died down to occasional hiccups, she marveled at Jim. "That was – hic! – amazing!" she cried. "Dwight's such a nitwit!"

Jim chuckled. "Nitwit?"

"Shut up," Pam said defensively. "It works for him. He's so gullible! Now he's going to be afraid of standing still and trees!"

"I've done better," Jim said modestly.

"Still!" Pam gushed. "That was awesome! How do you know so much about Harry Potter, anyways?" she wondered.

Jim was suddenly had an even greater appreciation for her blindfold; she couldn't see him blush. "I read," he said.

Pam chortled. "I never would have thought!"

"Anyway," Jim said gruffly, a mite embarrassed, "Let's get cracking on this list. Now we need a red leaf."

"This is so dumb," Pam muttered as Jim helped her to her feet. "And I can't even get this blindfold off, you tied it so tight!"

"Best if you keep it on," Jim said mysteriously, walking backwards a few paces in front of her. "Nargles go for the eyes…."

Pam laughed, and then came to a sudden halt. "Jim? Where am I going?"

"Follow the sound of my voice." Running up the trail a couple of yards, he stood with his back to huge tree, and started to sing 'Lovefool' at the top of his voice.

Laughing, Pam stumbled after him, arms held far in front of her. Finally, she felt her hands hit something hard.

"I think I hit a tree!" she exclaimed, tapping her fist lightly on the hard thing she had come into contact with.

"Nope," said the tree, who wrapped his arms around Pam. "You've hit my chest." And, grinning at the ingenuity of his little trap, Jim leaned down for a kiss.

Phyllis and Stanley were prying moss off a tree when Phyllis spotted the lip-locked couple. Phyllis squealed.

"Ooh, Stanley, look!" she began, but Stanley cut her off with a sigh.

"I'm glad I have this blindfold on, Phyllis, 'cause I have no desire to watch Pam and Jim play tonsil tennis."

"How did you know?" Phyllis wondered.

"I'm awesome," Stanley shrugged.

Jim and Pam broke off their embrace when Michael's voice announced the end of the scavenger hunt. Pam, who had shed her blindfold ages ago, looked up into Jim's hazel eyes.

"Uh oh," she said.

"You got that right!" he agreed as they walked back towards the clearing, hand in hand. "All we have are these rocks." He gestured at the pile ahead of them.

Pam stopped short in front of the rocks, jerking Jim to a halt beside her. "What's up?" he wondered.

Pam looked from Jim to the rocks and back. "I think Dwight's back pack looked a little light, don't you?"

Jim caught on and grinned. "Absolutely I do!" he said enthusiastically, and they snatched up the rocks to stuff into Dwight's pack.

"He needs to build more muscle," Pam said as a way to justify their prank.

"Sure does take a lot of strength to pry Nargles off your eyeballs."

"And a purple belt just won't cut it."

Author's Note: A million thanks to Cursive Obsession, whose idea it was to have a prank making Dwight afraid of trees. If anyone else has any prank ideas, let me know, and I'll see if I can fit them into some later chapters. And, as always, reviews are much appreciated!