I don't own anything except for my OCs.
Act 1
The scene takes place at the Smith household. Steve and Hayley, while holding on to baby Mary are watching TV together.
"We now return to The Last Airbender 2: The Rise of Kyoshi" the TV announcer said.
Cutaway
"Aang, it looks like we're doomed for the rest of our lives" Katara said.
"It can't be over! I need to show I world I have mastered all four elements of bending" Aang explained as they are fighting Zuko and his army.
"Where's Sokka?" Katara asked as a note passed by.
"Katara, I can't make it to the fight. I found Suki and I'll be back soon.-Sokka"
"I thought she was cut from the movie" Katara said as she broke the forth wall.
"So was I and you don't hear me complaining. Oh that's right; I waited until the end!" Azula cried.
Cutaway Ends
"M. Night Shyamalan tries to hard, huh? This has nothing to do with the Kyoshi warriors" Steve chuckled.
"Steve, I was thinking of teaching Mary how to talk. Would you like to help me?" Hayley suggested.
"I like that. Since Zoey is gone on vacation to Denver with her parents, I need some time with my sister" Steve agreed with a smile.
"That's great, little brother. Okay Mary, would you like to learn how to talk? First, we will give you something comfortable to wear in place of your PJs" Hayley cooed at her daughter, who gives her a confused look.
"What's going on? Oh great, I have a guy's voice, don't I?" Mary thought to herself. (A/E Her inside monologue is voiced by Patrick Stewart.)
Later, Steve and Hayley found an outfit for the baby.
"Steve, how does this look? A green shirt with blue overalls, a little baby bonnet that resembles Jeff's fishing hat, and brown baby sandals?" Hayley asked.
"I like that, but shouldn't you wait for Jeff?" Steve wondered.
"He's busy working right now" Hayley answered.
We see Jeff looking bored at an office cubicle.
"Well, at least I'm earning good money" Jeff told himself
Later, Steve and Hayley are at the living room with baby Mary.
"I'm Steve. Who am I?" Steve asked his niece.
Mary simple gives him a blank look.
"Okay Mary's not talking sis" Steve said.
"Give her time Steve. She's only a baby" Hayley added.
"Okay, you should teach her" Steve said.
"Can you say mama?" Hayley asked her in a sweet tone.
Mary simply yawned.
"Wow, this isn't as easy as I thought it will be" Steve added.
Meanwhile, Stan and Bullock are looking at some device at the CIA.
"Sir, what is this thing you were talking about the other day?" Stan asked his boss.
"It's simple Smith. This is the baby voice-actor. You simply attach it to a baby's throat and it talks" Bullock said.
"Okay but does it work well?" Stan asked.
"Watch and learn" Bullock said as he gets a baby girl and attaches a string around her neck. He presses a button and lights blink for a moment.
"Say daddy" Bullock ordered.
"Daddy" the baby girl answered. Her voiced is done by Tara Strong.
"It works" Stan cheered.
"What did I tell you Smith? You can use that for your granddaughter" Bullock suggested.
"I'll do that someday, only if Hayley is okay" Stan said.
"Good luck" Bullock replied.
Meanwhile, Steve and Hayley are still teaching the baby how to talk.
"Say Steve. Say my name" Steve begged.
"This is boring. How long is my nerdy uncle going to talk?" baby Mary thought to herself.
Jeff enters the house.
"Hi guys" he said.
"Hi Jeff; Steve and I are trying to teach her how to talk" Hayley explained.
"Babe, I thought we were going to teach her how to walk" Jeff said.
"I guess we can do that" Hayley agreed as she stopped for a moment. "Okay sweetie, I guess we'll take a break from teaching you how to talk. Why don't we teach you how to walk instead?"
"Oh great, another unnecessary lesson for me. All I want is a nap" Mary thought for herself. "I got it." Mary began to cry.
(Crying)
"Oh no, it must be her naptime. I forgot about it" Hayley said. "Come on sweetie; let's no nappy time" she cooed her daughter as she carries her to her crib.
"Boy, parenting is worse than life huh?" Jeff wondered as Steve glared at him.
"What? It's hard okay? I'm sure you and Zoey will struggle too" Jeff added.
"Yeah right" Steve rolled his eyes.
Meanwhile, Stan and Bullock are testing so many babies with the device.
"Oh my God, what did you do sir?" Stan wondered.
"I don't know Smith. Apparently, we can't get these kids to shut up!" Bullock complained.
"Are you sure you want me to use it on my granddaughter?" Stan asked.
"Don't worry Smith. I'll figure something out" Bullock answered.
Meanwhile, Steve, Hayley, and Jeff are sitting on the floor of the living room.
"Guys, we're having trouble teaching Mary how to do anything. I love her, but she needs to learn how to walk and talk if she wants to fit in" Hayley said.
"Babe, don't worry. If it makes you feel better, I did not know how to walk until I was 5" Jeff added.
"Our baby cannot wait until she's 5. That's ridiculous Jeff" Hayley said.
"Oh Hayley, I didn't know how to walk until I was five. So what were our first words?" Steve wondered.
Flashback
We see baby Steve only in a diaper walking towards Francine.
"Come here honey" Francine cooed her baby son.
"Franny" baby Steve said.
"What?! It's mommy!" Francine told him.
"Franny!" baby Steve cheered.
Flashback Ends
(Laughter)
"Mine was worse" Hayley recalled.
Flashback
We see baby Hayley in a diaper and a small headband as she walks to a sleeping Stan on the couch.
"Sodie!" she cheered.
"What?! You can talk now! Oh my God Francine; Hayley can talk! Is it mommy or daddy?" Stan asked as he and Francine walk towards their baby daughter.
"Sodie!" baby Hayley cheered.
"Great, we should have never given her Mr. Pibb" Stan complained.
Flashback Ends
(Laughter)
"Mine was awful" Jeff remembered.
Flashback
"Poopy" we see baby Jeff in a diaper and a hat holding on to a blue teddy bear.
Flashback Ends
"Your first word was poopy? That's hilarious!" Steve exclaimed.
"I'm glad we had this conversation, but what are we going to do about Mary?" Hayley wondered.
"I don't know babe. I guess we'll wait it out until she's ready. Come on, let's have some lunch" Jeff suggested as they stood up and walked towards the kitchen. Unbeknown to them, baby Mary got out of her crib and were spying on them, with a sad look.
"So now what?" Steve asked as they are eating sandwiches.
(Step sounds)
"Mary?" Hayley asked in a shocked tone.
End of Act 1
Act 2
"Mary, you can walk!" Hayley cheered. "Jeff, get the camera!"
"I got it babe!" Jeff exclaimed as he is recording the baby's first steps.
"How in the world did she walk downstairs all by herself?" Steve wondered.
"I have no idea. This is amazing! Wait a minute, are you possessed by the devil inside?!" Jeff freaked out.
"JEFF! No she's not!" Hayley freaked out.
"She must have learned it on her own" Steve said.
"Hi guys, what's happening?" Francine wondered as she walked inside the kitchen while holding a bag of groceries.
"Hi mom. Mary just learned how to walk all by herself!" Hayley cheered.
"That's wonderful honey. Hey sweetie, come to grandma" Francine cooed at her granddaughter and Mary walks towards her while laughing.
"I can't believe this day is happening! What's next, raining doughnuts?" Jeff wondered as a thunderstorm with doughnuts is falling from the sky. It was revealed to be Roger accidently throwing them on the ground.
"NO! My refreshments! Darn it!" the alien cried.
Meanwhile, Stan was driving home.
"Thank God that's over with" he said to himself.
"What are you talking about?" a male voice said. It is Cathy Weseluck voicing the baby boy.
"Well son, wait a minute?! What are you doing here?" Stan freaked out.
"You promise me to take me home" the baby boy said.
"Yes I did kid" Stan added. "Hang in there kid."
Meanwhile, Hayley, Jeff, Steve, and Francine are at the living room, watching Mary how to walk.
"Oh my God, she's a speed demon" Francine said.
"It's going to be hard catching up to her" Hayley said as Mary walks very fast. "Come here honey."
Mary sees Jeff's hat and takes it away from him.
"Hey, come back with my hat!" Jeff stood up and chases after Mary, who was laughing happily. She throws it back at him.
"Thanks honey" Jeff said.
"Hey Mary, you want my glasses?" Steve shows her his glasses, but the baby takes him and puts them on.
(Laughter)
"Look everybody, it's Steve Jr." Hayley joked as everyone continues to laugh. Baby Mary gives her uncle his glasses back.
"Thanks honey" Steve said.
Mary looks at Hayley's headband.
"Sorry honey, the headband belongs to mommy. I promise you'll get one when your 18" Hayley told her daughter as she smiles back at her mommy. Hayley kisses her on the cheek.
Stan walks in.
"Hi family, what have you been up to?" he wondered.
"Hi Stan. Your granddaughter finally walks" Francine explained.
"Oh in that case, come to grandpa!" Stan cheered on his granddaughter as Mary walks towards him while laughing.
"That's my sweetie" Stan holds a laughing Mary.
"I like this. My family loves me" Mary thought to herself.
"Hey Hayley and Jeff, do you want Mary to learn how to talk?" Stan asked.
"Yes but nothing CIA related" Hayley explained.
"Yes Mr. S, as much as I would love to hear baby Mary talk, it's best if she doesn't learn the cheap way" Jeff added.
"Well, in that case, come to grandpa again" Stan played with his granddaughter as the family is having so much time playing with the baby.
"What's all the commotion?" Roger complained as he walked down the stairs, wearing a white nightgown.
"Roger, why are you wearing a dress?" Hayley laughed.
"Never mind that. Why are you guys laughing with the baby?" the alien wondered.
"Roger, Mary learned how to walk. You missed it man" Steve said.
"Oh she learned that. I taught her that" Roger explained.
"Say what?" Hayley and Jeff asked in unison.
"Yeah, it was the day you left me and the baby at the house alone that one day" Roger recalled.
Flashback
Roger and Mary are watching TV together.
"Mary, give uncle Roger a beer please" the alien ordered the baby, but she gave him a blank stare.
"Oh tough guy, eh? Give uncle Roger a beer please!" the alien ordered but the baby continues to look at him all strange.
"Fine, you lazy baby. I'll get it on my own!" Roger complained as he stood up and went to the fridge.
"Oh no the baby" the alien saw that Mary was gone. "Oh no, if Hayley finds out I lost her baby, she'll kill me!" Roger looks everywhere for Mary, only to find her behind him, handing him a…water bottle.
"I said…I mean, holy cow, you're walking? This is awesome! Fine I'll take the stupid water bottle. You win kid" Roger surrendered as he carried baby Mary with him and they sat back on the couch.
Flashback Ends
"Wait, you never drink water!" Steve shouted.
"I do now, you dork. The point is Mary learned how to walk from out of nowhere" Roger explained. "The point is, your baby can walk and you can thank me later."
"Roger, you should have told us that" Hayley said.
"I would, but nobody would believe me" the alien explained.
"That's true, but who cares? Our daughter can walk and it's awesome!" Jeff cheered.
"Now can she talk yet?" Stan asked.
"Dad, not yet. I'm sure someday she will" Hayley said.
"(Sniff) Mary, you need a diaper change!" Jeff exclaimed as he grabbed his daughter.
"Oh no, I shouldn't have ate cinnamon apple sauce" Mary thought to herself as Jeff went to go change her diaper.
Meanwhile, at the CIA, Bullock decomposes the baby talking device.
"Oh God, I hope babies will not talk quickly ever again" he wondered.
The next day, Mary is sitting on her baby seat, waiting to be fed. Hayley walks down.
"Oh my goodness, you can walk to your seat sweetie? That's awesome!" she cheered. "Want some formula honey?"
"Yay! Oh what the heck?" Mary opened her mouth and said something.
"Mama" Mary talked. (A/E She is voiced by Madeleine Peters.)
"Oh my God, she can talk!" Hayley cheered.
"Say it again" Jeff said as he walked down the stairs. "I heard a baby girl talking. Is this the day?"
"Mama" Mary responded.
End of Act 2
Act 3
The entire Smith family is at the kitchen.
"Wait a second Hayley, Mary can talk now?" Francine wondered.
"Yeah, all thanks to you Roger" Hayley told the alien.
"Wait a second Hayley. I did not teach her how to talk. She only learned how to walk" Roger explained.
"Okay Hayley, let's see if you're not lying. Can you say Steve?" Steve asked.
"Steve" Mary answered.
"Oh my God, she can talk. This is awesome!" Steve cheered. "Now say my girlfriend's name."
"Zoey" Mary answered.
"Are you some witch or something?" Steve wondered.
"Steve!" Hayley shouted.
"Sorry" Steve apologized.
"Say grandma" Francine ordered her granddaughter.
"Grandma" Mary responded.
"Aww!" the family cheered.
"Wait a second, dad did you teach her how to talk?" Hayley wondered.
"I did not Hayley. I kept your vow to not cheat her way into talking and I kept it" Stan explained.
"Good" Hayley added.
"Mary, how did you learn how to talk?" Steve asked.
"Uncle" Mary replied.
"Wow, she can talk but she can't answered" Steve said.
"I'm sure she'll comprehend one day, little brother" Hayley said.
Later, Hayley and Jeff are taking baby Mary to the park.
"Okay Mary, this is the park. Where would you like to play?" Hayley asked.
"Swings!" Mary cheered.
"Swings it is" Jeff said as he took the baby onto the baby swings and pushes her as she rides on it.
"Babe, want me to push you?" Jeff wondered.
"I'm good. Thanks Jeff" Hayley said as she got on the grownup, well older kids swings.
"I love my mom and dad. I like where this is going. My work here is done. Take it away Madeleine" Patrick Stewart's inner voice leaves and Mary's current voice actress replaces him.
"Whee! Whee!" she thought to herself.
Later, Hayley and Jeff are sitting on the couch, watching TV.
"Babe, I'm so glad our baby finally talked and walked. I'm sure she'll be a successful person" Jeff said.
"I couldn't agree more" Hayley agreed. Unbeknown to them, Mary is watching them, wearing her pajamas.
The next day, Hayley, Jeff, and Mary are eating out at Taco Belle.
"Thank God today's Taco Tuesday: 3 tacos for $2" Jeff said.
"Mary, here comes the quesadilla airplane" Hayley grabbed her food and does an airplane sound. Mary opens her mouth and eats it.
"Good girl" Hayley cheered.
"Hayley, I'm going to get more napkins" Jeff said.
"I want to do it" Mary said.
"Honey, you're sitting on the baby chair. You're way too little. Are you sure you want to get them for us?" Jeff asked.
"Please" Mary pleaded.
"Let her go Jeff. This is her first attempt to show us how much she has grown up" Hayley said.
"Well okay. Go ahead honey. I am worried because a lot of people are here for the $2 3 taco special" Jeff said as he takes baby Mary out of the chair and puts her down with her two feet.
"Oh my God, that baby is walking" some man said.
Dramatic music plays as baby Mary is walking towards the counter where the napkins, straws, and soda machine is at. She walks to get the napkins, but there are jerks getting in the way. Fortunately, Mary finds a clear path to return to her mother and father. She runs towards Hayley and Jeff with the napkins and gives them to her parents.
(Cheering)
Hayley begins to cry tears of joy.
"My baby girl is grown up! I am so proud of her! I love her!" Hayley cheered as she hugs Mary.
"She is grown up after all!" Jeff cheered as well.
"At least she got them safe and sound, unlike that guy" Hayley said as we see Hans Moleman from The Simpsons filling his cup with soda, but he slipped on an ice and gets soda covering his body. Everyone except Hayley, Jeff, and Mary are laughing at him.
"Oh no, I got root beer in my underwear" Moleman complains, but Mary hands him a napkin.
"Thanks little girl" Moleman smiled as the baby girl returns to her parents.
Later, Stan and Bullock are working on a device to restore the baby voices back to normal back at the CIA.
"Sir, why did you invent the talking machine the first time and I didn't even use it?" Stan complained.
"No idea Smith, but it was an experiment" Bullock explained as a bunch of babies surround the CIA.
"(Sigh) make it quick. My granddaughter learned to talk on her own" Stan said.
"Yikes" Bullock added.
Late at night, Hayley and Jeff are reading Mary a bedtime story.
"…and so the pigs built a house made out of gold and it scared the big bad wolf away. The end" Hayley ended her bedtime story.
"(Laughs) did ducks swim inside the house?" Mary asked.
"Yeah they did, but it was only Scrooge McDuck" Jeff explained.
"Wow, what a jerk huh?" Mary wondered.
"(Laughs) yes he is honey. It's time to go to sleep. Goodnight honey. Thanks for walking and talking by the way" Hayley said as she kissed her daughter on the forehead.
"Goodnight sweetie" Jeff said.
"Mom, dad, where do babies come from?" Mary asked as Hayley and Jeff gave her a blank look.
"Uh, storks, yeah that's right" Jeff joked as Hayley crossed her arms and glared at him.
"What?" Jeff asked as the screen turns to black.
15 Years Later
We see a teenage Mary Fischer, who has long dirty blonde hair the same length as her mother, skinny, and she is wearing a green blouse, blue skater skirt, brown heels, and a green neckerchief with pink flowers reading a report.
"My dad wanted me to use a device to talk, but I told him no and no became the first word I spoke when I was a baby. That's why I decided to never cheat and that day when I spoke my first word gave me an opening wakeup call. The end" Mary finished her report, which she received a standing ovation. (A/E Her voice is done by Amy Birnbaum, whose voice is similar to Téa Gardner from Yu-Gi-Oh.)
(Credits roll)
"Hey Mary, want to go out?" a nerd asked Mary out as she was packing her stuff to go home.
"Do you do drugs?" Mary asked.
"Look at my shirt" the boy is wearing a D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) shirt.
"Then yes. I don't want to do drugs or else my future husband will get sucked into outer space. I'm not letting that happen to me" Mary laughed as she and the nerd hold hands. The nerd gives his friends thumbs up and they do the same to him. Later, they are seen sleeping at the grassy area of a park.
"That my friends is how to treat a lady. Take her to a picnic and take a nap at the park" the nerd told the audience as he falls back asleep.
"10 more minutes" he said.
End of Act 3
Wow, this is the first time I wrote a PG related chapter. Usually my chapters are PG-13, TV-14, but never a PG chapter. Oh well, this is a first for anything. I hope it goes well and I hope you enjoyed Mary talking. Remember that the next chapters are back to normal where Mary is still a baby, so please keep that in mind. Read and review and see you next time my friends.