I don't own anything except for my OCs.
Act 1
The scene takes place at the Smith household. It was late at night. Steve was sleeping peacefully.
Dream Sequence
It was nighttime. Steve and Zoey were looking at the sky while lying down on the grass as they are cuddling with each other.
"The sky looks beautiful, huh babe?" Zoey wondered.
"It is darling" Steve answered as he kissed her.
"Hey guys, want to play tag?" Roger asked as he appeared.
"Sure" the couple agreed as they started chasing Roger. However, the alien grew an evil smile as a spaceship appears with abduction light showing.
"I got you Roger" Zoey ran to Roger, only for the alien to throw the girl into the spaceship and being sucked inside the vehicle.
"(Screams) STEVE!" Zoey is zapped inside.
"ZOEY, NO!" Steve cried, but the spaceship made the Road Runner sound and disappeared for good.
Dream Sequence Ends
"(Gasp)" Steve wakes up from his bed. "Oh my God, it was only a dream. I can't lose my girlfriend! I just can't!" he takes out a photo of him and his girlfriend kissing. He looks at the clock, which reads 3:45 A.M.
"I can call her, but I don't want to be a pest. Oh well, help me rock music" Steve takes out an iPOD and listens to it while he goes back to sleep.
The next day, Steve walks down to the kitchen, getting ready for breakfast.
"Good morning guys! What's for breakfast?" he asked as Hayley and Jeff are feeding baby Mary.
"Hey Steve, mom said to pour yourself some cereal" Hayley answered.
"All right!" he cheered, only for Roger to appear.
"Hi, my fellow buddies. Who's up to catch some blond chicks?" the alien asked.
"You stay out of my girlfriend!" Steve screamed and he left with his cereal.
"Geez, what's his problem?" Roger asked. "I wanted to go to the farm and catch the baby chicks."
"He must be having a menstrual cycle, I guess" Jeff laughed as Hayley glared at him.
"Mommy, what's that?" Mary asked.
"Uh, that's something I'll explain when you're a bit older honey" Hayley answered as she rubbed her daughter's hair.
"You like my hat Hayley?" Jeff asked.
"Jeff, how long will you keep that stupid hat? I love it, but don't you take it off sometimes?" Hayley asked.
"Babe, it's my lucky fishing hat. I love it! I can't give it up. It's like my asking you how long you want to keep that headband" Jeff argued.
"You never wash that hat" Hayley rebutted.
"Neither with your headband" Jeff said.
"I do too!" Hayley rebutted.
"Yeah right" Jeff argued.
"What's going on?" Mary wondered.
"How about this? Let's make a bet. I don't wear my headband for a week. In exchange, you don't wear your hat. Winner gets to choose the next family outing" Hayley suggested.
"Fine, you are on!" Jeff and Hayley agreed. "Do you want to have sex first?"
"(Sigh) whatever" Hayley begins to stand up and unbuckle her pants, only to realize that Mary was present.
"Oh wait, we can't. Mary needs to change her diaper. Some other time babe, I promise" Hayley rebuckles her pants and picks up her daughter.
"Mommy, what's going on?" Mary wondered.
Meanwhile, Steve is reading his comic books while looking sleepy.
"I'm so sleepy" he told himself as his eyes suddenly closed. He dreamed the same thing that happened in his nightmare.
Dream Sequence
"I got you Roger" Zoey ran to Roger, only for the alien to throw the girl into the spaceship and being sucked inside the vehicle.
"(Screams) STEVE!" Zoey is zapped inside.
"ZOEY, NO!" Steve cried, but the spaceship made the Road Runner sound and disappeared for good.
Dream Sequence Ends
"(Gasps)" Steve wakes up again. "I have to protect Zoey!"
Meanwhile, Jeff is looking at his fishing hat at Hayley's room mirror.
"Babe, I can't go on without you" he said as he looked inside his drawer, which was filled with the same fishing hats.
"We're still together" Hayley said, off-screen.
"I wasn't talking to you" Jeff snapped.
"My bad" Hayley apologized as the scene shifts to the bathroom where she takes off her headband.
"I don't look that bad without my headband. Jeff saw me without this before. In fact, it's how Mary was born" she told herself.
"Mommy, can you read me a naptime story?" Mary asked.
"Sure honey. Mommy wants to beat daddy in a bet" Hayley explained as she carried her daughter to their room.
Later, he goes over to his girlfriend's house, which Zoey was busy playing with her dogs George and Harold.
(Doorbell rings)
"Come in" Zoey said as Steve opened the door. The dogs barked at Steve.
"Hey, I'm your owner's girlfriend" Steve rebutted as the dogs settled down.
"Sorry, they do that a lot, especially to people I hang out with. What's up?" Zoey welcomed.
"Zoey, have you told anyone Roger's an alien?" Steve asked.
"Steven, I didn't. Don't you trust me?" Zoey wondered.
"I do 250,000%, but not everyone else" Steve answered.
"Who's everyone?" Zoey asked.
"My dad and his boss" Steve answered. "They work for the CIA, remember?"
"Steve, it's okay. Don't worry about a thing. My lips are sealed, except for this" Zoey starts making out with Steve.
"I love you so much babe" Steve said.
"Me too" Zoey blushed.
(Dogs barking)
"It's their lunchtime" Zoey explained.
"I'll help you out" Steve said as the couple go get the dogs' food. Unbeknown, Avery Bullock was watching them through a window.
"Alien, huh? This is interesting" Bullock smiled evilly. Suddenly, a tiny bird poops on his bald head.
"Damn it stupid bird! Damn you to hell!" he shouted angrily and he falls down as well.
(Screaming)
"I think I crapped my pants!" Bullock shouted.
"Who was that?" Steve wondered as he and his girlfriend fed the dogs.
"It must be those hobos wanting to sign petitions" Zoey answered as she checked outside. "Huh, nobody's there. Well then, never mind."
Also, Roger is spying on them.
"I know what's going on" the alien said as Bullock was walking in a weird position.
(Beeping)
"Oh crap, my pizza bagels!" he shouted and ran off.
End of Act 1
Act 2
Steve and Zoey are watching a movie in the living room. Apparently, Steve is hugging his girlfriend much tighter than before.
"Steve, are you okay?" she asked.
"I'm fine" he answered.
"I know you love me, but I need some arm space, if you don't mind" Zoey suggested as Steve let go of her.
"My bad" Steve apologized.
Later, Jeff and Hayley go grocery shopping without their hat and headband. Mary stayed behind with Francine at home.
"I look weird" Jeff added.
"How do you think I feel?" Hayley argued.
"Oh my God, you guys look cute together! Can I take a photo of you?" a random male photographer took photos of the couple.
"What's this?" Hayley wondered.
"I don't know babe. Something tells me we're celebrities!" Jeff cheered as the couple kiss, yet more photographers arrive and took more photos.
Meanwhile, Steve went home and went straight to the attic.
"Roger, where are you?" he asked, only for the alien is seen watching through a window.
"Hello Steven, do you mind explaining to me what you were doing earlier this morning?" Roger demanded.
"Roger, I'm sorry for screaming at you. I don't want to lose my girlfriend. I love her! Please don't separate us! I'm willing to sacrifice myself in order to save her! Please don't hurt us!" Steve pleaded.
"Wow, for a dork, you're pretty nagging. Okay fine, I promise not to hurt you or your girlfriend" Roger agreed.
"Thanks man" Steve said as the camera shifts to Bullock watching them.
"I knew it. I should report Smith about this. No, it's too obvious" Bullock said, but the same bird arrived and almost pooped on his head.
"Not this time" Bullock shoots the bird, but it voided its bowels, off-screen.
"DAMN IT!" he shouted.
Later, Hayley and Jeff left the grocery store, yet more people are following them while taking photos.
"I know you people love us, but please this is enough" Jeff snapped.
"Your hair looks gorgeous! Can we touch it?" a member of the paparazzi begged, but the couple ran away quickly.
"Babe, why do people love us?" Jeff wondered.
"No idea babe. This is getting out of hand. I love the fame and all, but this is out of control" Hayley answered, but more people are surrounding them.
"Quick Hayley fart!" Jeff suggested but she glared. "Do you have any other ideas?"
"I know" Hayley…takes out a sword. The people walk away from them.
"Babe, how did you do that?" Jeff wondered.
"I have no idea" Hayley answered.
"Hey, that's my sword. Give me that" a little boy dressed as a pirate took the sword away.
"Kid, I'll give you $100 bucks if you give me that sword" Hayley offered.
"Take it" he gives them the sword, along with Hayley paying the boy the $100.
"Babe, what was that?" Jeff asked.
"A little something called backup" Hayley answered.
Later, Steve is walking around in his room, talking to himself.
"Don't take my girl" he repeatedly says the same thing. However, Stan was about to go to the bathroom, only to overhear his son's talk.
"Steve, what are you doing?" Stan wondered.
"Dad, something weird will happen to Zoey. Please don't take her away" Steve pleaded.
"Let me guess: you told on the people about Roger?!" Stan shouted.
"What? No! I had a bad dream and I don't want it to happen!" Steve explained.
"Son, it's time we have a little talk: Roger or your girlfriend will have to go" Stan said.
"Dad, no! Don't do this" Steve begged.
"I'm sorry but it has to end like this" Stan explained as Steve began to cry. "I'm sorry son, but I have to in order to protect this family. I hope you understand."
"Wait, Stan. Don't break up the couple. I'll just go back to my home planet" Roger suggested.
"Are you sure?" Steve wondered.
"Of course, I promise not to interfere with your girlfriend or your relationship, so why better than send me into outer space" Roger explained.
However, Bullock is watching them.
"So wait, Stan is willing to eliminate his son's girlfriend to protect the alien? (Sigh) I guess I can't arrest them anymore. Otherwise, I would lose all respect from everyone. I wish there was a way to convince him to let the alien stay" Bullock told himself as he is wearing…an astronaut costume.
"Go ahead and crap on me birdies!" he shouted, only for the birds to fly away. "You better be flying!"
Hayley and Jeff quickly go inside home to Hayley's room.
"Babe, are they gone?" Jeff wondered.
"I hope so. Jeff, I give up. Let's cancel the bet. You can wear your hat. I'll wear my headband. Why don't we let Mary decide where we will go out for our next family outing?" Hayley suggested.
"That's a great idea babe" Jeff agreed as they went to pick up Mary from her crib.
"Mommy, daddy" the baby girl cheered.
"Honey, where would you like to go for our outing tomorrow?" Hayley asked.
"Chuck E. Cheese" Mary suggested.
"Good idea" Jeff agreed as he kissed her on her head.
Meanwhile, Steve runs to Zoey's house. However, she was giving her dogs a bath.
"Zoey, are you busy right now?" Steve asked.
"Almost done" she answered as she finished washing her pet dogs. "Okay boys, go play outside" she instructed as the dogs went to go play. She opens the door for Steve to enter.
"Hi Steve, what's going on?" Zoey asked.
"Zoey, I'm scared. Do you swear you haven't told anyone Roger's an alien?" Steve asked.
"Steve, for the millionth time, I didn't" Zoey answered in a frustrated tone.
"My dad is sending Roger away. I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I don't want you or Roger gone! Most likely my dad wants you away" Steve explained.
"Steve, the best idea is to do nothing. Trust me" Zoey explained.
"What do you mean?" Steve wondered, but Zoey whispered something in his ear.
"Please be right. The fate of our relationship depends on what my dad does" Steve said as he kissed her and left.
"I know what to do" Zoey added.
The dogs barked, wanting food.
"There are leftover hamburgers in the fridge. Oh wait, hang on" Zoey microwaves the hamburgers and feeds them after they were done to feed the dogs.
"I'll be fine, Steven" Zoey whispered.
End of Act 2
Act 3
Roger is packing his stuff to go away.
"Roger, I honestly don't see you going away. You'll probably send Steve's girlfriend in space, just like what you did with Jeff" Francine said.
"Franny, I will be going. Stan invited the Wilsons to see me go away. Trust me" the alien explained.
Later, it was late at night. The moment has arrived. Everyone was driving away from their homes. Bullock was following them, unbeknown to them.
The scene shifts to Steve, Stan, Zoey and her parents, Roger, Francine, Jeff, Hayley (while holding baby Mary) at an empty grassland. A spaceship has arrived. However, Bullock is behind the bushes, taking a leak on the grass.
"Why did I stopped at that 7-11?" he wondered.
"I hate to say this but Roger or Zoey or both of you have to go. I have to do this to protect my family. You can hate me but it's for your own good. Any finals words?" Stan asked.
"Just go" Steve said.
"Well, come on Zoey. One of us will go" Roger said as Zoey walks behind him. (A/E We only see her backside.)
"Don't go" Steve cried. "Wait, don't go! Take me instead. Roger, I know what you're going to do! You're going to pretend to say goodbye, only to want a hug from Zoey and send her away. I'm not falling for that trap. I'm sacrificing myself for Zoey to stay alive. Everyone listen up, the Smiths have an alien! There, I said it! Go ahead and punish us. So help me God, punish all of us and one day, everybody will be punished for one bad apple! Take me Roger with you!" Steve demanded.
"Steve, no!" Stan refused as he held on to his son's arm.
"Goodbye world" Roger began to walk towards the spaceship. "Zoey, come here darling." Zoey complied, but we still do not see her face.
"But most of all, goodbye bimbo!" Roger taunted as he threw Steve's girlfriend up to the spaceship.
"NO!" Steve cried.
BEEP
BEEP
The spaceship is gone.
"Zoey is gone. I knew it! I knew it! I guess I was never destined to have a beautiful girlfriend. I thought pen123 was trustworthy! That's IT! I QUIT!" Steve removes his glasses and throws them on the grass and cries on the floor loudly.
"I'm sorry son. She's gone, but Roger is here. The secret will never be revealed" Stan patted his son's back, only to be slapped it away.
"Don't touch me! Don't talk to me! Don't even look at me! Don't even ground me! I'm not your son anymore! I lost the girl of my dreams all because you care about nobody but yourself! If you really did care, you would have taken all the blame, not the entire family! Fine, I guess I'll stay a virgin forever!" Steve shouted as Stan left him alone.
"Some attitude you have" a female voice is heard. It also made footsteps.
"Not now Hayley. I want to be left alone" Steve said as he was holding his legs and crying at the same time. He looked up, only it was…the real Zoey Wilson. (A/E She is wearing her normal outfit.)
"Zoey?! How did you…"
"You stood up for me. You were willing to sacrifice yourself to save me. I'm proud of you kiddo. You did exactly as I planned" Zoey explained as she smiled.
"Oh my God, you're okay!" Steve hugged and kissed her. "So, if you're not here, then who's in space?"
"Andy Dick" Zoey laughed as the scene shifts back to the fake "Zoey", who is actually Andy Dick disguised as Steve's girlfriend, being sucked into the spaceship.
"Thank God you're safe!" Steve cheered. Stan and the rest showed up.
"What are you doing here?!" Stan shouted, only for Michael to tie his arm in a submission. Kat slapped Stan as well.
"How dare you try to abduct my baby girl?!" she screamed. "You almost made us lose our baby girl!"
"I have to protect my family. Roger is an alien, there my son said it" Stan explained.
"We already knew. He doesn't even have a nose. I would never report it to anyone" Michael explained.
"You knew?" Stan wondered.
"Zoey's parents, please wait. Dad, I'm sorry for what I said. I just don't want to experience the same thing Hayley did when she lost Jeff. I hope you can forgive me" Steve apologized.
"No son. I should be the one apologizing. In fact, so should he" Stan explained as…Bullock appeared.
"Smith, I'm sorry about this. I need to be honest. I knew Roger was an alien all along. I want to take you away, but I couldn't. If you want, I promise to keep my mouth shut about you guys having Roger as a pet alien. I don't see him as a threat to the country. What do you say?" Bullock offered a handshake.
"You better promise" Steve accepted his handshake.
"You would do this, sir?" Stan asked.
"Of course" Bullock smiled.
"My nightmare did come true, but it has a better ending, which was hope" Steve added. "You were right Zoey."
"I told you" she smiled.
"I promise. Well, if you don't mind. I want to go watch some football" Bullock said.
"Can we come?" Steve asked.
"Come on kids" Stan said as they walked with him and his boss, along with Zoey's parents and the rest of the Smith family.
"What about me?" we see Klaus left alone at home in his bowl. The scene shifts back to outside.
"Stan, I'm sorry for hurting you" Kat apologized.
"Not to worry, Katherine. I deserved that" Stan accepted her apology.
"Zoey, I'm glad you're all right" Michael hugged her daughter.
"I'm okay dad. I knew this was going to happen. It's a cliché" Zoey laughed.
"Huh? Oh who cares? Our daughter is safe" Michael and Kat keep hugging their daughter.
"You can let go now" Zoey felt squished.
"Sorry" her parents apologized and let her go.
"Steve, come over to my house tomorrow. I have a surprise for you" Zoey added.
"But first, pen123 I'm sorry I called you untrustworthy. I hope you can forgive me. Okay, let's go" Steve said as the scene fade to black for a moment, only for Mark Johnson to appear with a scythe.
"I swear to God, anyone trying to break up Steve and Zoey, I'll kick your asses! Oh they're okay? Never mind then" Mark leaves. "Well, see you soon" he waived the audience as the scene shifts back to black again.
(A/E Play the song Wherever You Will Go by The Calling for this scene. Also, I forgive you Steven Anita.)
The next day, Steve goes over to Zoey's house, who was wearing her normal outfit, but for some odd reason, she's wearing a space helmet.
"Hi Zoey, what's the surprise? Are we playing naked space people? Even better, we're playing Star Wars?" Steve wondered.
"Ta-da" Zoey removes her helmet, to reveal…her long beautiful light blonde hair.
"You dyed your hair?" Steve wondered as his face turned bright red.
"This is my thank you for being a wonderful boyfriend. Do you love it?" Zoey asked in a seductive tone as she waved her hair around.
"I…love…it" Steve proceeds to make out with her with the chorus of the song plays.
"I love you" Zoey said.
"I love you too" Steve repeated as the two continue to kiss while the song continues to play but fades when the screen fades to black.
End of Act 3 and the season
Well, that's the end of the season. I hope you...oh wait, there's more! This is the official credits ending. Enjoy the following!
(Credits Roll)
The scene takes place at a live studio.
"And now it's time for..."
"HOW TO DO" the audience shouted.
"...with special guest Edward Leonard Walker!"
Eddie Walker from Family Guy: OC Universe appears, wearing a blue robe only.
(Applause)
"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen! Today, I will teach you the basic steps of one of my special talents: cross-dressing!" Eddie explained.
(Oohing)
"I have my assistant here, Steven Anita Smith!" Eddie said as Steve with his female persona Stacey appeared, wearing only a pink robe.
(Applause)
"You see, my good friend turned himself into a girl with a special pill. However, that's the shortcut of looking like a girl. I will teach you the long way of cross-dressing" Eddie explained.
"All you need is a pill and you're done" Steve/Stacey added.
"Shut up Steve! Where was I? Oh yes, to start, you need a good pair of bras and panties" Eddie removes his robe, revealing his pink bra and matching panties.
(Wolf whistling)
"Oh yeah? Mine is sexier!" Steve/Stacey removed his/her robe, revealing his/her red lacy bra and matching panties.
(Guys barking)
"Shake it off!" a male audience shouted.
"Uh yeah, next you want is the wig" Eddie takes out a female brunette wig and dons it.
"Boring!" Steve/Stacey yawned.
"Steven! I'm going to tell your sister! Anyways, after that, find a dress. This one is perfect!" Eddie puts on a purple dress.
"I can do that" Steve/Stacey puts on a black dress.
"Finally, the shoes" Eddie puts on a pair of red flats. "Steve, would you mind?" Steve/Stacey puts on black heels.
(Audience applause)
"The last thing you want is to change your name. I'm Emma at this point" Eddie/Emma explained.
"I'm Stacey and I'm 10 times hotter than Emma!" Steve/Stacey taunted.
(Audience laughter)
"I'm Emma and I'm a sexy straight cross-dresser!" Eddie/Emma shouted.
(Audience cheering)
"Oh yeah? I'm hotter than you!" Steve/Stacey removed his/her dressed, leaving him/her in his/her underwear.
"Cat fight, cat fight!" someone shouted.
"That tears it!" Eddie/Emma removed his/her dress as well, leaving him/her in his/her lingerie. The two boys/girls got into a dog/cat fight.
The scene shifts to a bird taking a dump on the toilet with the words "THE FOLLOWING FANFICTION STORY IS EXPERIENCING SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES: PLEASE STAND BY", along with some on hold music.
THE END
Cast:
Seth MacFarlane (Stan Smith, Roger Smith, Greg Corbin)
Wendy Schaal (Francine Smith)
Rachael MacFarlane (Hayley Smith-Fischer)
Scott Grimes (Steve Smith)
Mae Whitman (Zoey Wilson)
Dee Bradley Baker (Klaus Heissler)
Jeff Fischer (Jeff Fischer)
Liam Hemsworth (Mark Johnson)
Madaleine Peters (Mary Fischer)
Mike Barker (Terry Bates)
Curtis Armstrong (Snot Lonstein)
Eddie Kaye Thomas (Barry Williams)
Patrick Stewart (Avery Bullock)
Kevin Michael Richardson (Principal Lewis)
John Cho (Vince Chung)
Elizabeth Banks (Lisa Silver)
Amanda Seyfriend (Amy)
Stacey Dash (Janet Lewis)
Special appearance by:
Haley Joel Osment (Eddie Walker)
The list goes on.
P.S. Eddie Walker is owned by aldovas.
Special thanks to:
aldovas
prettyprincess45
6980085LMFAO
123kid
Michael Muniko
Well guys, Ander Arias may have said this in his fan fiction and so did Nelly Furtado, but all good things come to an end. However, the season is over. The good news is that I'm not done writing. Coming soon will be a special fan fiction with deleted scenes, holiday specials, and much more. For the third and final entry of The Book of Secret Arts series, I honestly don't know when I'll have it ready. My goal is to have it ready around December or January at the latest. For the record, book three is called Legacy. Stayed tuned for more adventures in the future. Thank you for reading and reviewing. I'll see you in two weeks with a new fan fiction with deleted scenes.