Title: Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

Author: shimasama

Pairing: Akane Narita and Subaru Yagi

Fandom: Hot Gimmick

Theme: #27 - overflow

Disclaimer: I do not own Hot Gimmick, it belongs to Viz and Miki Aihara. Nor to I own the song "Mistakes We Knew We Were Making" by Mae. Although the song rocks.

Author's Commentary: I really think the manga doesn't handle the fact that Akane is so sexually experienced--I mean, the whole reason the story starts is because Akane has had sex without protection. And even if Subaru has "tamed" her, that doesn't change Akane's past experience. So I thought I'd tackle that.

--

We made plans to be unbreakable,

Love was all we knew.

"Subaru, wait up!" Akane chirped, running towards her boyfriend. He turned around, the wind whipping at them both ferociously. Akane's short bob blew about her face, across her lips.

Subaru stumbled toward her, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Akane reached up to move her hair out of her face, to no avail. It was much too windy. "Geez, you didn't even bother waiting for me!"

The spiky-haired boy shrugged a shoulder. His cheeks and the tip of his nose were pink. "I figured you weren't coming."

Akane looked at him quizzically, reaching to grab his hand out of his pocket. Subaru moved backwards, quickly dodging the move. "What are you talking about?" She asked, looking into his eyes—or rather up at them, thanks to his newest growth spurt.

"You and Kazama seemed to be having a good time."

No insurance for the unthinkable,

Blindly get us through.

Akane looked down at the little white device in her hand, cowering on the closed toilet seat. Why can't this work any faster? she thought impatiently, rocking back and forth. The sounds of her family outside the bathroom door brought her back to reality.

"Yeah, I'm fine, mom!" She called to her mother's worried questioning, then looked down at the pregnancy test. Her eyes widened, and she let out the breath she hadn't meant to be holding.

We've been searching for a lifetime-

Short as it may seem.

Akane didn't mean to bring Shin into her bedroom-she was still unsure what his last name was-but he was kissing her goodnight and suddenly she was opening her door and they were stumbling towards her bedroom. She sighed into his fervent kisses, letting him go as far as he wanted. They'd had a good time on their date, and she knew where it would lead.

By the time he had gotten her clothes off, her mind was already buzzing with pleasure from sex without attachments--and they hadn't even done anything yet. She laughed as he tried to act more experienced than he was, but she let him lead her through the motions that came to a boy by instinct. Sure, it wasn't romantic, but it was awfully fun.

Riding on the fumes that spark us,

While igniting dreams.

Akane had never made out in the back of a car before.

When Kazama had said he needed to talk to her, she'd been afraid it had something to do with Hatsumi and Shinogu--but he had brought her into the back seat of his car instead, and looked at her seriously in the eyes.

"You wouldn't even consider--"

She shook her head, her hair falling into her eyes. She was smiling, however, knowing she had such an effect on an older guy. "Not even. I have a boyfriend, remember?"

"He would never have to know."

Mistakes we knew we were making,

Mistakes we knew we were making.

Don't think about chances we're taking,

Mistakes we knew...

Akane looked at Hatsumi with fear in her eyes, her hands gripping at her bed sheets, her legs shaking. She wasn't sure how her sister would react, knowing she hadn't been, well, "safe," yet she had never known Hatsumi to get truly angry.

But there was a first time for everything.

Looking at her sister now, hoping that she would just do this favor for her without questions, Akane felt guilt lying just beneath her tough exterior. She shouldn't have been having sex in her bedroom, and she should've been safe.

She tried to ignore the voice that was telling her she shouldn't have been having sex at all.

Driving in the rain to the hospital

Quiet aches intense.

Akane had a date with a cute older guy from a different high school than the one her sister attended the night her father collapsed from exhaustion. When she got the call from her sister, the guy with her-whatever his name had been-refused to drive her to the hospital. He was angry she had even answered the phone while they were eating dinner, and left her on the street just as it began to rain.

By the time she had reached the hospital (by subway), her father was already in recovery. She got a lashing from her mother for not being there sooner, but she knew her mother didn't really mean it. She was distraught over her husband's collapse.

Hatsumi's disappointed glance her way when she entered the waiting room was what made her truly guilty.

What at once just seemed the impossible

Now makes perfect sense.

"Don't even worry about Subaru, Akane. He never has anybody over, let alone any girls." Asahi said loudly, hoping her brother would overhear. He was playing computer games in his bedroom with his headphones on, but the door was open. Akane didn't even glance his way—he was the dorky brother of her best friend. What did she care who he had over?

Asahi wasn't finished. "I mean, geez, Akane, you've had more boyfriends than he's had girl's phone numbers. Subaru is such a dweeb." Akane laughed along with her, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Subaru take one headphone out of his ear, looking out at them. He shook his head, blushing, with a frown on his face. Akane watched the reaction with only slight curiosity, before she went back to doing Asahi's make-up.

We held hands to face the uncomfortable

Cold and lonely room.

Subaru rushed into the waiting room, eyes glazed over. Hatsumi got up quickly to greet him, thanking him endlessly for coming at such short notice. Akane watched them grip hands and seethed. Hatsumi never got made at Subaru for being late. Maybe it was some stupid older child pact between them. She rolled her eyes.

She tried to ignore her mother fawning over him, thanking him for being there too. He looked bashful, running his hand through his messy spikes before sitting down in a chair next to Hatsumi. He looked up at her, raising his hand to greet her, but she turned away from him. She was still in her outfit from her date, and she quickly adjusted her short skirt and sleeveless top, trying to make herself look more dignified. He wasn't even looking at her now.

Magazines and empty distractions

Barely got us through.

Akane and some of her friends-minus Asahi, who had complained loudly that her parents were making her go to her brother's video game tournament-were walking through the magazine section of a bookstore, staring at all the pretty celebrities and womanly advice. Her friends cooed over advice to snag a boy and get him to kiss you, and guffawed at the different columns about seduction and above all, sex. Akane didn't even blush as they talked about how ridiculous it was, trying to get in a guy's pants by dressing sexy or something like that. She laughed with them, agreeing. She would occasionally glance over one of her friend's shoulders as they read particularly scandalous sections out loud, taking note of their advice in her head.

Mistakes we knew we were making,

Mistakes we knew we were making.

Don't think about chances we're taking,

Mistakes we knew...

"He was just talking to me about Shinogu, Subaru, no big." Tired of trying to convince him, Akane rubbed at her forehead angrily. "Kazama knows I'm off limits, and not just because I'm his friend's sister."

Subaru wasn't convince, and she knew it. She rolled her eyes, tightening her hands on her handbag that she held behind her back. She tried not to remember the cell phone number resting on the back of a fortune cookie fortune beneath her mascara and eye shadow.

And when we try to think of the life inside,

We found ourselves looking at the world through new eyes.

Subaru grabbed her arms, looking at her pleadingly. "You didn't-Akane, please, tell me you—" He broke off, choking on his own words. Akane was teary-eyed, trying so hard to not let her emotions control her, but they were flooding her tear ducts and her heart and there was nothing she could do to stop them.

"I-Of course I didn't-Subaru, please, just look at me—" She tried to get his attention as he started to sob, putting her hand beneath his chin to turn his head up. His eyes were unfocused, puffy, red, probably much like her own. She shook her head, willing her memories away. Willing her emotions to pool out of her pores, instead of having them overflow and drown her. "I didn't. I wouldn't. Subaru, you have to know I wouldn't."

What can now be said,

Oh, little one, on the other side?

Akane sat alone on a bench outside their apartment complex, crying silently. She clutched Kazama's cell phone number in her hands, unable to crush it because it was so small. To her, it was insignificant that she'd kept it. But to Subaru, who had had his greatest fears come to life, it was everything. And she wanted to crush that doubt within him, get rid of it forever. But it was there, in his eyes, as he held her arms and shook her, demanding she tell him the truth. She had never felt him use such strength before, except when they kissed. Now she felt where his fingers had dug into her skin, where her shoulder muscles snapped in awkward directions.

She hadn't even called him, even if she had thought about it. But the number had been next to her phone on her nightstand when she had invited Subaru in, with a little heart she had drawn in gel pen next to the digits in Kazama's neat handwriting.

Dance until the band stops playing,

Sing with all your might.

A giggle escaped her lips as she swayed her body from side to side with euro beat pumping from the speakers. She had one hand above her head, her arm curved and liquid. The other was gripped tightly around Subaru's willing him to dance. He looked at her with a happy smile on his face, watching her move. He shifted from one foot to another, trying to find a beat, letting her lead his arm with hers to wave above his head. He took her other free hand and brought them both back down to their sides, moving closer to her, hoping to catch some of her free-spirited dancing in the process.

The song changed and Akane squealed, dropping her arms around Subaru's neck. "I love this song!" She yelled over the loud bass intro, before leaning in towards his ear and singing the opening line to him. She was awful, and couldn't hit the low notes of the young man in the song, but Subaru listened anyway, glad she was there, and glad she had thought to bring him where she hadn't before.

Mistakes we knew we were making.

Mistakes we knew we were making.

Shin licked at her throat, and she sighed, turning around. "We're in school," she admonished, although there was a teasing giggle to her voice. He smiled at her, the piercing on his lip glinting under fluorescent lights.

"So what?" He asked in a husky voice, his arms around her waist.

She rolled her eyes. "Someone will see, silly," she answered, pushing him away.

He frowned, light bouncing off his lip ring again, and shrugged a shoulder. "Whatever."

Don't think about chances we're taking.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to the night air.

Don't think about rules we were breaking.

"I wish that was good enough," a voice behind her whispered quietly, coming from somewhere by her left ear. She turned, and Subaru was standing there, still tear-streaked, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

Mistakes we knew...

"I can't change the past, but I can promise I would never do that to you." She breathed into his jacket, finding comfort in his arms around her. Subaru nodded into her shoulder, tears escaping and dropping onto her exposed neck.

The list goes on and on.

She wasn't pregnant. She had just been late. Akane breathed a sigh, chucking the pregnancy test and box into a dumpster behind her school. She heard Shin's voice somewhere near the front gate, and ran to meet him, only to see him kissing another girl on the neck, his tongue running over her shoulder where he'd pushed down her uniform's collar.

The list goes on and on.

The older guy saw her about three weeks later, when she was picking up her dad's vitamins. He didn't even ask if she was okay. He came in for a kiss, which she reciprocated, then waved goodbye after buying a box of condoms.

The list goes on and on.

"Never," Subaru repeated, with a strangled sob.