Jamie knew from experience that when the Doctor wanted to take him somewhere in space and time to show him something, it was usually tied to his lesson for the day. And though the piper sometimes worried that whatever it was would go sailing over his head without him understanding any of it, more often than not, he would have a great time—and actually learn something.
Beyond that, however, he never knew what to expect. So when the TARDIS doors opened to reveal that they were floating in space, Jamie looked in surprise as he saw what appeared to be a large, thick cloud of cosmic dust swirling all around them, stopping just in front of the force field that the TARDIS was creating around them. The cloud was glowing with bright light, with portions of the cloud growing brighter than others—and it seemed to continue without end.
"Well, Jamie, what do you think?" the Doctor asked.
"It's… verra interesting," the piper said. "A great cloud. What is it?"
"The universe, Jamie—a fledgling universe," the Doctor said. "We have arrived shortly after the Big Bang. Well, I say 'shortly,' but to you, it would seem like a long time afterwards. But in comparison to the age of the universe, it's only shortly afterwards. I don't think you were expecting this, were you?"
Jamie shook his head, still staring at the cloud.
"And all this dust will become the entire universe?" he asked. "The same universe we live in?"
"Yes," the Doctor said, with a broad grin on his face. "Gravity will bring the dust together, forming stars, planets, and galaxies."
"But if this cloud of dust is then entire universe, then that means…" Jamie trailed off, his eyes growing wide. "Are ye saying that the Earth is nothing but dust in this cloud?"
"The Earth, Gallifrey, Skaro—every place we've been, and every being we've ever met started as cosmic dust in this cloud," the Doctor said. "Atoms and molecules are spreading throughout space, forming things—often being destroyed and re-forming in the process. It's an endless cycle. Eventually, they come together to form the places we know—and the people we know."
"…We're somewhere in this dust, then," Jamie realized. "Ye and I—we're somewhere in this cloud."
"Yes—yes, we are, in a manner of speaking," the Doctor agreed. "The atoms and molecules that will eventually become us are somewhere in this cloud."
"I wonder where we are," Jamie mused, looking around.
"Well, there's no way of knowing for certain," the Doctor reminded him. "You're hardly going to find any indication, so if you're listening for cosmic dust that's playing bagpipe music, you're in for a disappointment. It's going to be several billion years before the Earth is even formed!"
"Aye, I know…" Jamie said. "But, e'en so, it's incredible to imagine."
"That it is, Jamie."
Jamie continued to stare in wonder at the cosmic dust; the Doctor watched him with a wistful expression, and it was a while before the piper finally noticed.
"Doctor?" he asked, sensing something off. "Doctor, what it is?"
"Oh, Jamie…" the Doctor sighed. "I wanted to show you the entire universe—all of its wonders. As it is, this is the best I can manage."
"Aye, and it is wondrous, Doctor," Jamie replied. "I'm glad you showed it to me—all of this. How it all began."
"No, no, no, no, no," the Time Lord said, shaking his head. "Not like this, Jamie. I wanted to take you to so many places in our present universe! There were so many things I had been planning to show you ever since you first came aboard the TARDIS!"
"We can still go, aye?" Jamie asked.
The Doctor didn't answer him; the Time Lord glanced at his arm—where, beneath the sleeves of his frock coat and shirt, was the serpent tattoo that served as a reminder of his criminal status.
"I don't know," the Doctor said, quietly, sounding very different from his usually upbeat persona. "I really don't know what we can do anymore, Jamie. At any moment, any plans we might have could be interrupted by the Agency, sending us on yet another harrowing assignment. And if I dare to put so much as a toe out of line, they'll take you away from me again and send you back to Scotland without your memories of me."
"Doctor—"
"And then I'll have to wait another fifty years to see you again."
"Alright, then, we'll toe the line and make sure they don' have a reason to take me away from ye," Jamie said.
"But then we're right back to this problem again, aren't we?" the Doctor said, glancing at the fledgling universe all around them. "I can't guarantee that I can show you what I want to show you."
"I won' hold that against ye, if that's what's worrying you," Jamie assured him, though he knew that wasn't it.
The Doctor did manage some semblance of a smile at that before returning to his melancholy mood.
"I know you won't. But I can't help but feel as though that you deserve more than what I can possibly give you now. When we first started traveling together, I could give you that. Now, I can't."
"Doctor, ye gave me my life," Jamie reminded him. "I'd have been one more among the dead at Culloden had it nae been for ye. Ye saved me, e'en though I'd threatened ye and was ready to kill ye withoot a second thought."
"You were frightened for your life; one can't blame you for that."
"Aye, and one cannae blame ye for what's happening now," Jamie said. "If ye'd have left Zoe and me with all the other soldiers and run off like ye'd intended, they ne'er would have caught ye. But we insisted on going with ye, and we slowed ye down. Really, it's our own fault we got caught and sent back."
"I don't think I could have left you behind, even if you hadn't insisted on going along," the Doctor admitted. He indicated the cloud of cosmic dust outside. "All of this wouldn't mean as much without someone to share it with. And, as I said, there is so much more I wanted to share with you."
"We'll do what we can, then," Jamie said.
The Doctor gave him a look.
"Very well," he said. "Is there anywhere in particular you wanted to go?"
"Och, there's no use asking me," Jamie sighed. "I don' e'en know what's oot there. Ye know, when I was a laddie, I would sometimes look up at the stars—on those rare nights when it wasnae cloudy or raining, of course."
The Doctor did chuckle at that.
"I ne'er really thought much aboot what was beyond this Earth," the piper continued. "And I certainly ne'er expected that there was such a thing as a man from the stars—let alone that a man from the stars would save me and look after me with such kindness and love, and ask for nothing in return. And e'en now, ye're more upset aboot nae being able to take me t' places and show me things. Meanwhile, I'm just standing here wishing I could do things for ye, too."
"But, Jamie, you are helping me!" the Doctor exclaimed. "You're the one making all this servitude for the Agency bearable!"
"Aye, but I don' have a TARDIS that I can use t' take ye to places and show ye things," Jamie pointed out.
"But I don't need that, Jamie! The fact that you are here with me, why… that is everything I could ever need!"
"Really?" Jamie asked. "Then why do ye think my view would be any different than that?"
"Oh…" the Doctor said, realizing the point that Jamie had been trying to make. "Oh, you turned that right around, didn't you…?"
"Aye, and I'm glad ye realize it. Look, Doctor… I know ye like showing me places and things. I like to see them, too. But that isnae why I travel with ye. It's like I told ye when ye thought I'd be upset that we'd have to work for the Agency at all—they could throw us in a dungeon cell for the rest of our days, and it wouldnae matter t' me, as long as it was the same cell."
"And in spite of everything I say about wanting to take you places, I can assure you, Jamie, that I could learn to live with that."
Jamie smiled, gently clinging to the Doctor's arm as he looked back outside at the cloud of cosmic dust.
"Ye know what I think, Doctor?"
"No, but I can use touch-telepathy to find out—unless you'd rather tell me, of course."
"I think that somewhere oot in that cloud, the dust bits that will become me and the dust bits that will become ye are together right now. That's why we always seem t' end up finding each other now—why we have some sort of connection, despite being from different planets and being different species."
"Well, that is an interesting theory, Jamie. I'm not sure how we could go about proving it, mind you," the Doctor mused. "But until evidence insists otherwise, I see no harm in assuming that it is true."
Silently, they watched the cloud for some more time.
"Doctor?"
"Yes, Jamie?"
"Ye said it was fifty years until they let ye see me again. How did ye manage that long?"
The Doctor sighed before leading Jamie away from the TARDIS doors; he briefly stopped at the console to close the doors and send them into flight through the vortex before taking Jamie to his study. The Doctor unlocked his desk, and he withdrew a large stack of paper from the bigger-on-the-inside drawer.
"This is how I managed," he said.
Jamie took a look a look at the first paper on top of the stack.
"It's a letter t' me," he observed, and then he realized the significance of the large stack of papers. "…Ye wrote letters t' me for fifty years?"
"In the hopes that, one day, you'd be able to read them. I limited myself to one letter per month, you see, but, even then… that led to six hundred letters. I don't expect you to read them all, of course—"
"I want t' read them," Jamie insisted, with the utmost sincerity. "It'll take me some time, but I will read them all. I figure that if I read five of them per day, that'll be a good pace and I can get through them in aboot…" He attempted to calculate the time. "Aboot four months, I think?"
The Doctor just stared at Jamie for a moment with an absolutely unreadable expression.
"Yes," he said, at last, clearing his throat a few times. "Yes, that's quite right. Very good, Jamie."
He gripped the piper's shoulder firmly, hoping that Jamie wouldn't notice the slight tremble in his fingers as he did so.
The Doctor had meant what he had said to Jamie earlier—that his presence was enough to make this whole thing worthwhile. And as the piper looked back at him, with his face aglow, the Doctor realized that he would have gladly endured so much more just for this moment—and whatever moments lay ahead of them.