A Rose Trapped Inside a Fist

Disclaimer: I disclaim owning anything of the Lord of the Rings trilogy or The Hobbit. I only own my own characters brought forth from my own wild imagination (Narloth, Erebwen, Rhovan, Dagorast, Belegor, Tindir, Morlyg and Ashare).

This is my first Fanfic so reviews would be greatly appreciated! Let me know what you think!

Once again, sorry about the wait on this. I know it's not long, sorry. Hope my readers are all doing well and Happy Christmas!

Chapter 6- Divided

The days had passed by so quickly and everything was beginning to change.

Morlyg, banished for life from Imladris by Lord Elrond, was finally gone. He had packed his things and left, a sullen look on his bruised face and his hair in a disheveled mess. It seemed odd that this was the man I had beaten and knocked out. He seemed smaller somehow, with his shoulders hunched forward and uncertainty clouding his expression. Finally understanding the consequences of his actions, regret was the only thing to be seen in his dull blue eyes.

I almost felt bad for him but I suppose any pity had left my heart the day he laid a finger on my best friend.

Erebwen, having her home back to herself was enjoying her new found freedom and independence with Rhovan ever by her side. She was regaining her confidence and naturally cheerful nature, although the pain could still be seen in her eyes and body language.

Nevertheless, the pair had grown close and were now well acquainted. They had become friends rather quickly and often flirted with each other. I watched the two, hoping that Erebwen wouldn't lead Rhovan on. I knew she wasn't ready to be in another relationship yet.

Rhovan knew this as well but it never stopped his flirtatious advances. His indications would have been completely normal to someone who hadn't gone through the abuse Erebwen had but with her it was pivotal that he take things slow to build her trust and confidence. He had hid his emotions from her for far too long and now they were far too difficult to hold back.

Occasionally, he would glance my way, silently asking if he was coming on too strong and I would nod slightly or give some indication that he was indeed starting to cross the line, at which point he would immediately back off.

As for me, my swordsmanship had improved immensely but with Rhovan and Erebwen together much of the time it had become difficult to find anyone to spar with. It was an odd feeling but I had become the third wheel.

I spent time practicing alone for several weeks without a partner and was in desperate need of a mentor. On that note, I had resolved to practicing archery but it deemed useless. I was still terrible and my aim proved worse the more I practiced. It was strange that the sport my elven kin were almost perfect at was something that I could not myself be at least proficient in.

An idea finally came to me one night: that I should ask someone in the guard to mentor me. Unfortunately, there were only three elves I knew in the guard. The first two, Glorfindel and Erebwen's father, are far too busy to give me lessons but Belegor, my crush from the past when I was young is a possible option. My only option in fact.

Why the idea of having a guard train me never entered my mind escapes me. Probably because I'm far more comfortable around Rhovan and those I know well, especially when weapons are involved.

As mortifying as it was to confront my previous crush who I had embarrassed myself in front of more times than I cared to admit I had no choice but to swallow my pride and ask.

And so I began walking towards the practice field, my emotions mixed and unclear. Half of me wanted to find him and the other half wanted to just turn around and go home. I glance at my surroundings, hoping to distract myself.

The trees are changing color, their leaves turning red, yellow, and orange. They hadn't started to fall just yet and the grass was still lush and green. Everything was so colorful and full of life. Squirrels scampered up and down the trees, their tails waving around, and jumping from branch to branch. Horses could be heard nickering at the stables nearby and as I got closer to the practice field the twang of arrows and the clash of metal began to drown everything out.

Once I arrive I glance around, looking for Belegor and finally spot him to my left observing his fellow guardsmen practice. I begin to walk towards him, skirting around those sparing. A couple of them glance my way but say nothing. When I reach him he is shouting out advice and commands to others. I wait to speak, not wanting to interrupt and hoping I'm not bothering him.

"I was wondering if you would mentor me in swordsmanship and archery," I ask when he looks my way.

He looks at me curiously for a moment.

"What happened to Rhovan training you?"

"He's…preoccupied," I reply, remembering that many of the guardsmen have been practicing at the same time Rhovan and I have.

"If I say yes, you need to realize that there will be boundaries. I don't know if you still have feelings for me or not but I'm married now. I have-"

"No," I say, interrupting him.

I can't believe he thinks that's why I'm asking him to train me. Did I really come off that crazy and foolish when I was young?

"I'm not flirting with you," I say. "I lost my feelings for you a very long time ago. My training is very serious to me but I don't have anyone to train me. That is the only reason I asked you."

"I don't go easy on you. I don't go easy on anyone I train. If you're really serious about learning I won't treat you any differently than when I train future guardsmen. You will leave with sore muscles, bruises and scars. You will be pushed to limit and sometimes past it," he says seriously. "I will not go easy on you," he repeats with emphasis on the words will and not.

"I don't want you to," I reply just as serious.

He looks me in the eye, staring me down and I'm not sure if he's giving me a chance to change my mind or if he's trying to scare me off. Either way, it's not working and I stare right back at him.

"What happened to the little girl who used to follow me around in frilly dresses and always had her hair in braids?"

I glare at him. Why did this matter? I just wanted to improve my skills. But then I realize that he's only seen the side of me that constantly tried to be pretty enough for him. At that time it was the only reason I'd worn dresses, did my hair, and tried to learn how to sing and dance. It was all to impress him. I've never liked wearing dresses or singing and dancing. All I wanted when I was a kid were books but Belegor has no idea who I really am. The only side he's ever seen is the side I pretended to be.

After being rejected and publicly humiliated by him I had vowed to never change myself for anyone ever again.

"She grew up," I say.

He looks at me a little shocked, surprised by my answer.

Finally, he crosses his arms and says, "be here at dawn tomorrow. If you're late we don't practice. No excuses. And bring money. I don't do charity."

"Fine," I say.

I turn to leave and let out a deep breath, glad our conversation is over. I hear him yelling again as I make my way back into the forest, wondering if I'll be the one getting yelled at tomorrow.

I detour towards the stables and decide to go for a ride.

Once there I lead, Harnen, my dapple grey mare out of her stall and begin brushing her.

I've made the mistake of not riding her for a couple of weeks and her energy is through the roof.

While I'm in the mood for a relaxing trail ride she has other ideas, jigging about and asking permission to speed things up.

After a few moments of her relentlessly asking to have her fun, I give in and were off. She takes off at a gallop, jumping over any obstacle in her way.

I laugh, relishing the freedom and wonder what tomorrow will hold.