It was awkward for the past 3 days; Kagome never saw those golden eyes glance towards her with that same coldness. The anger was still there but he refused to talk to her, to help her with little household chores or to even acknowledge she was there. Her heart raced every time they were in the same area together or if his voice was hear. The melancholy expression that emitted upon her face spread through her whole body and into the room like a virus.
Sango even felt the remorseful vibe when Kagome sat ever so quietly beside her in the classroom. With long dragged sighs and eyes of wonderment, Sango couldn't possible guess what was wrong with her. But for now she ignored it, giving Kagome some time to recollect her thoughts.
The days seemed to go the same for her, the dragging of her feet as she slowly walked home, the utmost sadness of the sky as it rained heavily above her, even the heavy atmosphere that weighed upon her shoulder. Shit was it a mess, she loved those lips, she loved the way his tongue aroused her body and caused her fingertips to tremble with pleasure. It was stupid, how can love be so difficult? It makes you want to die inside when you don't receive those feelings of affection. It makes the blood in your body want to gush out, making your mind forget about this love and focus on the pain that gripped you so tightly.
Kagome was drenched from head to toe, her eyes dazed from the thoughts that haunted her mind. The thoughts of never having to talk to Sesshomaru was heart wrenching…even if it was just to insult her or to argue, she just wanted to hear his voice again.
There was nothing in her right mind that could push these feelings away so she walked aimlessly through the streets. While everyone was running for cover she appreciated the ice-cold feeling that coursed through every inch of her body.
The rain didn't let down. When she finally realized where she was, she was absolutely lost. The neighborhood wasn't recognizable but the place looked ritzy. With its 3 story houses and big front yards she couldn't possible have the slightest clue where she was going or where she was going to end up but she proceeded down the streets.
He couldn't love me he couldn't possible love me. It's a sin. If only he wasn't my brother than I would have told him a long time ago how much I care about him. It hurt so much keeping these feeling locked up. Why did he have to be my brother?
The numbing feeling in her knees weakened her. She fell and leaned herself up against the cement wall, watching the rain pour down her fingertips. The drops of rain reflected her heart, how it would fade out once the clouds would disappear. Affection was the clouds and her love would fade ever so quickly once the sun came out. But like water it repeats again, a whole new day of raindrops and a whole new day where love can bloom again. But no one was the right one; no one could ever replace Sesshomaru. No one.
She sat there on the cement, shivering profusely as the rain lightened a bit. She couldn't see far due to the weather but when headlights peeked through the fog and shined upon her, she strained to see what it was. The car wasn't something she saw or recognized before so she expected it to pass right by but it came to a screeching halt, startling her.
The door opened, her eyes set upon a dark figure that walked in front of the beaming lights. It walked toward her, her eyes widening every step the figure took forward. Just than she felt panicked but exhaustion over took her, giving her a lack of energy to react. Her vision was blurry due to the tears that had unnoticeable gathered in her eyes. There was this whole vibe around her, telling her that death was the only way. She prayed that this figure was some kind of psychopath wanting to kill her. But unfortunately she was undoubtedly wrong.
"You stupid damn idiot. I told you to come straight home didn't I?"
"S-S-Sesshomaru?"
His warm hand laid upon her cheek as his eyes searched into her own. "Of course it's me you damn brat. Hurry up. I'll yell at you later." He put a jacket over her shoulders and carried her toward the car, placing her in the back of the car and following moments later. Sitting next to her, he cradled her into his arms as he attempted to transfer his body heat upon her icy cold skin.
"You can drive now you fucker." Sesshomaru commanded angrily.
"But you two look so cute huddled like that." Bankotsu smiled devilishly as he peered in the rearview mirror.
"Shut up and drive."
"What ever you say little bro." The warm arms wrapped around her caused her to sink her face into his chest, feeling the heat that emitted off of his body and the heart beat that sounded. For days she wanted to hear his voice, to touch his skin and to see those eyes that she deeply fell in love with. But with this moment, it would only lead to disaster. After this… what was going to happen? Is she going to have Sesshomaru hate her again or maybe something worse? If their parents found out about this whole situation than Sesshomaru would be the one to receive whatever punishment her father would think up.
"Brother." Kagome whispered, her words muffled a bit.
"What is it?"
"I'm sorry."
Sesshomaru gently pushed her away from him and grabbed her by the shoulders, looking at her hazel eyes that spilt out tears. "What are you talking about?"
"I-I'm just sorry okay. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to apologize idiot. Just don't be so stupid as to come home late again."
"I never meant that." She shook his hands off of her shoulders and fell upon her chest, gathering in the warm heat. "I'm sorry for my sins." She whispered, holding onto Sesshomaru's waist tightly. For all these years she had gone to church, got on her knees and prayed for forgiveness. For all these years she had tried to succumb the erg to prevent the words 'I love you' to escape her lips, just praying that he would always be there by her side. But now that college was coming near and separation was brewing in between the two of them, these words were just at the tip of her tongue, wanting to spit out.
I just want to know how he really feels. She thought as a hand was felt gliding through her wet hair. The feeling was comforting, easing her shoulders little by little but she heard Sesshomaru's heart beat hastening, causing her to worry.
"Kagome. That kiss…" He whispered making sure Bankotsu was not able to hear. "It was a mistake. Don't hold it so dearly in your mind got it. It was a simple kiss nothing you should concern yourself about. You're my sister, we share those kinds of kisses in occasions but it's nothing else all right? Do you understand? It's nothing else but having a kiss on the cheek and it's not going to happen again."
"I-I" As his heart slowed down, hers sped up exponentially. She couldn't speak and the lack of oxygen that she refused to breath in was making her mind haze.
"Kagome, it's just like that one time on Christmas. When you were 7 and we kissed under the mistletoe. Every one saw us but thought nothing of it because were siblings. So just like that the kiss we shared in the closet was nothing."
His words cut so deeply. I just want to die. Her arms loosened around him, the mere pain taking away her subtle breath. She would have pulled away if it wasn't for his hand that stroked her hair contently. Though with his eyes directed out side of the passing scenery, Kagome took this chance to lightly gaze unnoticeable on to those golden hues. Those eyes were the one that made these feelings caress her heart so profoundly. But those same eyes were the ones that made Kagome realize that this wasn't going to work.
"I understand brother. I truly understand."
As the car stopped, Kagome had no need of Sesshomaru's help to get out of the car. She walked under the light patter of rain and into the kitchen, her damped hair causing water to trail behind her. The unforgivable words painted clearly in her heart had made her decide that everything to live for, everything to appreciate in this world was nothing she was interested in.
I'm sorry Sesshomaru. She made her way in her room, the sound of the faint argument in the kitchen flooding the room, causing a smile to cross her lips. The ringing of her brothers arguing again was refreshing to hear. It gave her a sense of relief as she searched through her drawers and held a knife firmly in her hands.
Maybe not death but a sense to forget. She fell to her knees as blood dressed and dripped down the cold lethal metal. Not only was this feeling redundant but it also was shameful nonetheless it did make her mind wonder elsewhere.
She prepared for another slash but her attention was brought to the door as it opened. The disregard of the door being unlocked had not come into mind until Sesshomaru walked in and locked the door behind him, an expression of confusion in his eyes.
"What the hell Kagome." Sesshomaru grabbed her wrist that contained the knife and snatched it away from her, throwing it across the room. "Didn't I tell you not to do this? Didn't I!"
"Stop yelling at me." She said quietly.
"Shut up! Damn it Kagome I told you…Do you want to die you fucking idiot!" Sesshomaru wrenched the blanket off of her bed and wrapped it tightly around her arm. He couldn't think of what to do, he just held her arm as tightly as possible. There was anger evident in his eyes but worry over powered those negative feelings. Just the sight of blood and Sesshomaru felt dizzy, he hated the looking at it. But even with the red liquid soaking through the thin sheets he still held it in place, the blood staining his hands.
"I want to die." Kagome stared at Sesshomaru's trembling hands as her eyes hazily averted from looking at the worry that her brother held for her.
"Are you stupid? Just shut up."
"I just want to go away." Her whispers gave Sesshomaru a sense of discomfort. The undeniable feeling of tears stung his eyes, refusing to spill. Just her pale skin was something he didn't want to see.
"Kagome just shut up."
"It hurts to much. Why can't you leave me alone brother?"
"Shut up."
"Why can't you go to college and leave me alone to die?"
"Damn it! Shut up!" The tears that streaked his face fell upon Kagome's hand, slipping between her fingertips. Even her eyes widened and her lips weren't able to move, preventing her to speak. These lips, those warm enticing lips placed on her own pressed deeply, shutting her up for good. Every inch of her body wanted to push him away but she didn't. She just had this feeling of wanting but also she had this feeling of worry. Kagome just didn't want to get abandoned again.
The kiss was nothing.
His words kept running through her mind. Love wasn't supposed to feel like this, love wasn't supposed make your thoughts lead to death. This wasn't going to work but Kagome wanted his touch, wanted every inch of his lips. For now she kissed him deeply, not caring of the consequences in the end. This moment was a moment she wanted to last forever.
He broke away, his eyes staring contently into hers until he embraced her tightly. "Don't do this anymore."
Tears trickled down her cheek. "Don't ignore me." She stuttered. "Don't leave me."
He pulled away and kissed her on the forehead. They were siblings but he kissed her lightly on the lips, not wanting to question these feelings he held so deeply inside him. Jealousy would creep in him every time a man talked to her, anger would grip him so tightly when Bankotsu would lay his lips on her but he knew why…he knew why these feelings were seeping into him. But he just didn't want to categorize it as love.
There can't be love when this relationship was too much of a forbidden feeling but who said Sesshomaru cared what people thought.
"I won't leave you. Just promise me you won't do this again all right? Just promise me you'll stay beside me." This side of him was baffling but with a nod of understanding that came from his sister, he smiled and an embrace following moments later. "I love you Kagome."
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I love you Kagome.
With his ear pressed up against the wall, Inuyasha moved away from it. He was caught off guard as he fell off of his bed and landed on his back. That voice belonged to Sesshomaru, there was no doubt in his mind but he just didn't want to believe it. He stared at the white ceiling for a couple of minutes, trying to think of a logical way of those words that came out of his brother's mouth.
"This can't be. He would never be that stupid." Inuyasha bolted upright. "I have to find out. I have to keep an eye on them."
He bit his thumb and cringed at the metal picture of his sister kissing Sesshomaru. It was wrong; damn it was purely weird just thinking of that. He wouldn't be caught dead doing something so stupid. The consequences were absolutely catastrophic if his parents found out but Inuyasha really didn't care.
"That bastard can get kicked out of this house for all I care." Inuyasha said distastefully. He hated Sesshomaru with every fiber of his being and wanted him to get his ass kicked out of this house as soon as possible. Go off to college or being forbidden forever from coming back to the house, which ever the reason was he really didn't care. As long as he was out of his sight.
Inuyasha despised Sesshomaru so much that he put up with Miroku's constant conversations about how much he loved this girl named Sango, just to get away from him. If he didn't have Miroku's house to congregate in than he would literally go crazy. Just looking at his brother made him sick to his stomach.
"Fucking bastard. I'll destroy him. He'll finally fall to his knees for what he has done to me." His nails dug deeply into the palm of his hands as he gritted his teeth. "I'll avenge you Kikyo. I promise."
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"What's with the happy mood Kagome. Something happened at home or something?"
"Kind of. I don't know I'm just happy."
Sango poked Kagome in the shoulder and raised a brow. "Yeah right. Tell me, what happened?"
"Nothing. Well we have P.E. next period so do you want to go to class or what?" The two girl's marched through the crowds of people in the hallway. Thanks to some idiot who painted both the boy's and the girl's locker rooms with obscene pictures and words, the locker room was being repainted. So with that, everyone had to change in separate classrooms that were available. With one empty classroom for the boys' and one for the girl's it was a great set up which worked for everyone.
"It's nothing okay." Kagome assured her.
"I'm just glade your finally not sulking so much. So guess what happened to me today."
Kagome sighed at the angered tone in her voice and said displeasingly. "What happened?"
"Well you know that bastard Miroku. He fucking can't get his hands off I swear. If he touches me again I'm going to kill that bastard."
Kagome chuckled. "Maybe he likes you. Have you thought of that?"
"Don't play with me. I hate him, he's never going near these lips." Sango glided her way into the classroom and as she did the summoning bell sounded. The two of them waited until all the girls in the class were presented before they started to change.
" So are you going to tell me why your so happy or what? Did Sesshomaru licked your tonsils or something jezz." Even if it was a joke, Kagome couldn't believe how Sango could always hit the mark so accurately. Though she didn't say anything but smile, kicking Sango in the shin.
"Shut up. People are around you."
"Damn your so annoying. What ever Kagome, stop standing around and change before you get in trouble again."
"It's not my fault I put on my P.E. clothes slower than all of you. I just get kind of off track because of you."
"Don't blame me for your lack of attention. Why, are you that stupid that you can't talk and change your clothes at the same time."
Kagome ignore Sango and sat on the table, breathing out a sigh of relief. "I'm just tired okay. Just let me sit here for a while." As girls came and went, it wasn't to long until Sango was done changing and went out herself. There she was, all by herself as she lazily got to her bag and took off her shirt. She knew she was going to be punished with 3 laps of running but all she responded was a big 'oh well'. As long as she was running, it was way better than dodge ball.
"10 minutes of changing. A new record for me." She said proudly, slipping on her gray t-shirt. Even with the quiet atmosphere, it was soon to be interrupted as a click of the door sounded and grabbed her attention. It was about time when some one always came in the room and pestered her to hurry up.
She let out a sigh, her eyes faced toward the wall. "I'm coming okay. Jezz I can't change without having to be bothered."
The girl didn't make a sound and Kagome expected to hear a door closing indicating that the girl had left but nothing. Footsteps approached her from behind and arms wrapped around her, causing to thrash.
"Relax Kagome it's me." She reframed from moving as lips trailed down her neck and onto her cheek.
"You know, you can get in trouble. Not only that you're not in the class but you're going to get suspended because of your obscene actions you're presenting."
Kagome was lifted and she sat on the desk, staring lovingly in his eyes. "Stop killing your self with those big words. I'm worried you're going to choke on them. You know you're that much of an idiot."
"Fuck you Sesshomaru." She said sincerely, gently kissing him on the lips.
"Now that's better. I like that language much more." Instead of being gentle, Sesshomaru roughly placed his lips onto hers. Demanding her to open her mouth but she pushed away.
"Stop. You have to get out before someone sees us."
"No way. I hate it that I can't kiss you." Kagome rolled her eyes with a smile placed on her face and preceded with the deep kisses. She didn't know that one simple kiss could lead to all of this. About a week has passed and this relationship of brother and sister increased so quickly that it was hard for Kagome to catch up.
With worry placed on her, Kagome would have to always restrain Sesshomaru at home, in the streets and even at school. His lips craved for her so badly that he didn't even give a damn about his surroundings, he lunged for her and kissed her. Though the secret was still kept, no one suspected them of this love they had for each other thanks to Kagome's quick thinking and negotiation.
His tongue licked every corner of her mouth, wanting more and more of her but she pushed him away. The action was to rough, she didn't care how much she loved him, she had limits of her own and she sure wasn't going to let Sesshomaru take over. Giving him a glare before wiping her mouth, she hopped off of the table.
"Get out Sesshomaru. I'm warning you."
Grabbing her chin and smiling, he laughed. "You're warning me. Really? What makes you think I'm going to listen?"
" Shut up before I tell the teacher. Got it?"
"No, I don't get it. If you tell than I'll tell them how I was quenching your thirst."
She raised a brow. "My thirst?"
"I know you was begging for me so I came."
The first thing she had notice ever since this whole 'I love you' confession was that Sesshomaru was opening up more. But instead of a hopeless romantic, Sesshomaru was letting loose a smart-ass that demanded to get what he want. That whole smile he held once caused her to have butterflies in her stomach but now it was to malicious to look at.
"Don't make me laugh. Please get out Sesshomaru. I don't want to get in trouble all right?"
"No. It's not all right. I want a kiss. A real one at that."
Kagome glanced at the clock and glared back at him. "Someone's going to come in to check on me. Get out."
"Like I care. The faster you kiss me, the faster I'll-" Kagome curled her fingers around the front of his shirt and pulled him down to a kiss. With a quick peck on the lips she detached their lips and pushed him out the door. He didn't even have a chance to reply, he was thrown out of the door within seconds but it did bring a smile on his face.
He couldn't remember a time where he felt so…well so happy. It was weird to have a smile on his face but anger quickly replaced it in a matter of seconds.
"What were you doing in there?"
Sesshomaru had no patience for this pest right in front of him. He was feeling blissful for the first time in his life but with this bastard blocking his way, he just couldn't help but glare.
"None of your damn business."
"I'm going to find out what you're up to. There's something going on and I'm going to make sure I find out." Inuyasha stood his ground. Those intimidating eyes made chills run down his spine but Inuyasha clenched a fist. Breathing in deeply before taking a step toward his older brother. "If anything, I'm going to expose any secret you maybe hiding and use it against you. You're going to pay for Kikyo's death." With an intentional hit to the shoulder, Inuyasha walked right passed him.
Sesshomaru paid no mind to Inuyasha's threat as he walked through the corridor. Though he knew that he had to not only keep his eyes out for the bastard but also make sure his parent's doesn't find out about this love he shared for his own sister.
"Damn it." He involuntarily muttered, streaking his fingers through his silver hair. Now this whole Kikyo business was coming up in his face. She died, that was it and he had nothing to do with her death. She was suicidal from the start and now he was getting blamed for the self-inflicted death she put upon herself. Trouble was coming fast and all he could do was try and play through it, hoping for the best outcome to this forbidden feeling called love.
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See I made Inuyasha such a bastard in this fic. Sorry for that you Inuyasha lovers. Hehe. Well Naraku's still in play for a bad guy so don't forget about him. Oh and I made this brother sister love go quicker. I just felt like it would be more funnier with them all secretive about the relationship. So next chapter will have a lot of stuff so stay tuned and thanks all you readers for sticking by my story. Love you all.