A/N: So I was trying to write the latest chapter of Rise, when I had a wave of inspiration for this story instead. So this is me riding that wave, and I hope you enjoy the result. I'm envisioning some fun changes to canon that will have far-reaching effects down the line, as Sasuke's unlikely protectors start putting some wheels in motion. There are still five years until Sasuke and his yearmates reach graduation age, which is when the second phase of this story will begin.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Chapter 3: Anko's Resolution

Anko used a Body Flicker jutsu with milliseconds to spare, executing a chakra-aided jump that allowed her to evade the giant fireball currently setting her yard on fire.

Damn! Little bugger almost got me…

Anko stopped behind Sasuke, which was the only part of their makeshift arena—which was only Anko's fenced-in yard—safe from the fire attack. Sasuke knew that, however, so he was already in motion, scanning behind him while bringing his arms up defensively.

Anko's Summoned snakes wrapped around his hands and held him immobile. She brought the edge of her kunai to his neck, exerting just enough pressure not to break the skin.

Sasuke didn't struggle, nor did his eyes drop to the kunai at his throat. He merely stared at Anko with determination and a hint of self-recrimination. "Let's go again."

Anko snorted. "That's seven times I've killed you today, and it's not even noon. Take a break, short stuff."

She released her jutsu. Sasuke didn't rub his arms, though they must have hurt. Anko's snakes were never gentle.

"I'm not tired," Sasuke snapped. "One more!"

Anko glared at Sasuke. They'd been over this—she was not his lackey, and giving orders would only result in him getting tied up and slobbered over by Kakashi's ninken. Shiba was particularly helpful, since the silver dog with the mohawk tuft enjoyed taunting Sasuke almost as much as Anko did.

Sasuke met Anko's glared for a full two seconds before he relented. "…please."

Anko twirled her kunai and grinned. "Since you ask so nicely."

As Sasuke once again tried to kill her, Anko reflected that the boy was a lot easier to deal with when he was like this. Sasuke in a fight was less guarded, less surly than when he interacted with people normally. Anko could read him better when he was fighting, maybe because focusing on a battle left him too preoccupied to mask his expressions.

In fact, Anko could practically see inside Sasuke's mind as he sparred, and she didn't always like what she saw. She saw him turning inward, only caring about Anko as a means to an end. She was a useful benchmark for his skills, and nothing more. If Sasuke could surpass her, he would be one step closer to killing his brother. And once he reached that point, if he ever did, he would dismiss Anko without a second thought.

The little brat was exactly like Anko after Orochimaru abandoned her. Like Anko, Sasuke only saw others as tools, to be used then discarded when they were outgrown. It was understandable, given that everyone Sasuke had actually cared about was dead, not counting Itachi. Of course he would wall himself off from emotional attachments and view others in terms of their value as stand-in opponents and nothing else. Understandable, but not a good sign for the future.

It had taken Anko many years and some harsh words from people far wiser than she was to break her of that mentality. She didn't know if she could do the same for Sasuke, and frankly, she wasn't sure if she wanted to.

She didn't talk about her past for a reason, which was that dredging it up only encouraged old wounds to break open again and threaten her hard-earned equilibrium. Some people would have argued that borderline alcoholism wasn't equilibrium, but as far as Anko was concerned it beat the alternative.

I'll take hangovers over nightmares any day.

Yes, Anko had her coping mechanisms, and so far they had kept her focused and brought her some measure of control. But now she was spending every day with Sasuke, and seeing his haunted, determined eyes was every bit as bad as the nightmares she kept at bay with sake or another warm body.

Seeing Sasuke was like looking into a mirror that showed her younger self, and Anko knew only too well what terrible decisions someone out of her mind with grief was capable of.

Not long after Orochimaru's defection, for example, Anko had tried to take her own life. She was in the Torture and Interrogation Recovery Ward, where injured suspects were allowed to recover before being interrogated. Life hadn't seemed worth living without Orochimaru, and Anko hadn't been able to face the hatred of many of Konoha's elders, who thought that as Orochimaru's student, Anko must have been infected by his vileness.

That had driven her over the brink, and if it weren't for Morino Ibiki Anko wouldn't have been alive today.

The grizzled veteran had wrestled with Anko for control of the kunai she tried to turn on herself. After pocketing the weapon, Ibiki proceeded to tear Anko into little strips with nothing but words. He yelled at her that suicide was the last resort of cowards and fools—a shinobi's life was a precious gift that should be given in service to one's village, not out of wounded pride or despair.

Now Anko took pride in the fact that she was a Special Jounin of Konoha, and a respected interrogator and infiltrator. She worked to improve her skills, all in preparation for the day she could confront Orochimaru and make her former teacher face justice for his crimes. It was a balance that was not easy to maintain, but Anko had been doing just fine until Sasuke came along, with the same pain that had almost destroyed her.

Anko wasn't sure if she was strong enough to help Sasuke learn the lessons he needed to learn. But she could imagine, in all too vivid detail, what Ibiki-sensei would say if he knew Anko didn't want to help Sasuke simply because it would open up old wounds.

She might not succeed—in the end, Sasuke was the only person who had control over how he reacted to the cards life had dealt him—but that was no excuse for not trying.

Just sparring with Sasuke won't be enough… Anko thought, coming to a reluctant decision. I'm going to have to be a bit more proactive. Damn you, Ibiki. I hate having a conscience!

Anko sighed gustily and returned her attention to Sasuke's latest attack. Sasuke's scissor kick missed as Anko ducked back, and she brought the fight to a swift conclusion by putting the boy in a submission hold.

"That's enough for today, brat. I've got better things to do with my time than watch you prance around like a drunken monkey. Go wash up—Kakashi's bringing lunch."

Anko let Sasuke go and walked away. A few seconds later the back of her neck prickled, which was her body's usual warning that something was wrong. She whirled, catching Sasuke mid-kick. He clenched his stomach muscles and turned in mid-air, sending a second kick with his free leg towards Anko's face. She caught that leg too, then shook him up and down like a farmer disorienting a chicken.

"Bad idea, brat," Anko laughed, eyes glinting dangerously.

oOoOo

When Kakashi returned with lunch from a nearby food vendor he found Sasuke in the front yard, trussed up like a hog at the butcher shop. Anko was sitting on his back while casually munching some dango. Sasuke was protesting the treatment volubly, but his voice was muffled by the rag stuffed into his mouth.

"Ah, Anko," Kakashi said, eye twitching, "I think you may have misunderstood the term 'baby-sitting.' I doubt the Hokage meant it literally."

Anko waved her now-empty dango skewer and grinned. "I'm just teaching little Sasuke here a valuable lesson about the price of failure. If you're going to attack a kunoichi when her back is turned, you'd best make damn sure you finish the job."

"Ah," Kakashi returned, deadpan. "Well, I wouldn't dream of interfering with Sasuke's education. I'll leave the food inside."

Sasuke picked himself up and dusted himself off, glaring at them both. He spat the rag out of his mouth. "I'm not a baby!" he declared. Turning away, he stalked back towards the house.

"They're so cute when they're that age," Anko laughed, loud enough for Sasuke to hear.

"Will Sasuke be safe on his own?" Kakashi asked, watching the last Uchiha slouch inside. "What if he runs?"

"He's already tried that," Anko replied breezily, wearing a wicked grin. "It didn't work out too well for him. Besides, the ninken are watching inside and outside the house. Sasuke will stay put, or he'll regret it. I'm planning on having a little chat with him in a while, after he calms donw."

Kakashi eyed Anko, one brow rising. "Oh? What kind of 'little chat' might that be?"

"Sasuke's pretty messed up in the head," Anko said. "It shows when he's fighting. No heart, just calculation. He's so focused on his own pain, I doubt if anyone else actually seems real to him right now. To put it bluntly, he's a few steps short of total psychopath, and I don't know how many steps exactly. I'm going to see if I can give him something new to think about."

"Sure that's a good idea?"

Anko shrugged. "I suppose I could give it time and see what happens. But I've been where that boy is, and I know what he's feeling. He thinks he's alone in the world—and hell, maybe he's right. But maybe I can connect somehow." She gave Kakashi a smile that almost felt genuine. "If it's a competition between his crazy and my crazy, mine will win any day."

Kakashi handed her one of the shopping bags and began walking towards the house. "You're not crazy," he said over his shoulder. "Just, ah… special. And bloodthirsty. Not to mention-"

"I get the picture, 'Kashi. Now shut it, unless you actually want your insides to end up on your outsides."

"Uh… nope, I'm done."

"Thought so."

oOoOo

That evening, Anko ate dinner together with a silent and surly Sasuke. Kakashi was late, which was nothing new for the chronically behind-schedule jounin. Anko sometimes wondered what he did when "lost on the road of life," but she never asked. Everybody had their secrets.

When Sasuke finished eating he made as if to leave right away. Unless he wanted to spar, Sasuke tried to spend as little time as possible in Anko's company. Tonight, however, Anko wasn't going to allow him to slink away.

"Where do you think you're going, short stuff?" she demanded, quirking an eyebrow.

Sasuke simply stared at her, waiting.

"I've got a story to tell you," Anko said with misleading cheerfulness. She held out Sasuke's chair and guided him to his seat, clamping a hand on his shoulder to keep him from escaping. "And you're going to listen. Got it?"

"Hn."

He wasn't happy, but he was listening. It was the best Anko could hope for. She took a deep breath, wondering how to begin.

"Besides Itachi," Anko said at last, deliberately emphasizing the name to capture Sasuke's attention, "do you know who Konoha's most wanted criminal is?"

Sasuke held her gaze for a long moment. He shook his head curtly.

"A man named Orochimaru." Anko could say the name without trembling now, but that didn't mean it was easy. "He was the student of the Third Hokage, and one of the most brilliant minds ever to come from Konoha. But he wanted power, and began experimenting on humans to create more powerful jutsu. Children began disappearing… just vanishing from the street, from their homes. No one knew what was going on. Dozens of children gone without a trace… can you imagine what that was like? The fear that gripped the village?"

Anko paused, though she didn't expect Sasuke to respond.

"Orochimaru was responsible for the kidnappings, of course. He performed horrible experiments on the children, until the Third Hokage caught him. But Orochimaru managed to escape. He's at large somewhere, no doubt continuing to torture innocent people for the sake of his twisted experiments."

"So he's a criminal and a murderer," Sasuke said impatiently. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because he was my teacher, and I looked up to him more than anyone else in the world."

For perhaps the first time since the Uchiha Massacre, someone else held Sasuke's full attention. Anko leaned forward, fighting the memories welling up in order to focus entirely on Sasuke. She wanted him to remember every word.

"Orochimaru is a monster," she breathed. "He murdered hundreds of citizens, children, before he ran away. The darkest pit of the underworld is too kind for him. But sometimes…" she squeezed her eyes shut as her voice fell to a whisper. "Sometimes… I still wish he'd taken me with him."

That was the truth that haunted her at nights, when she tossed and turned without falling asleep. She would think back to the moment Orochimaru threw her away like a piece of trash, and always there was the shame that she hadn't been good enough. Would never be good enough.

Sasuke swallowed, and the sound brought Anko back to the present. Sasuke's face was stark and pale.

"How…" he whispered. "How do you make the nightmares go away?"

Sake and a one-night stand, Anko thought, but then that was only a temporary measure and wouldn't work for Sasuke anyway.

"They haven't yet," Anko replied honestly. "It's been years, and I'm still waking up in the middle of the night. But I've got a plan to make them stop... Want to hear it?"

Sasuke nodded solemnly.

"I'm going to rip his throat out with my bare hands," Anko whispered, voice raw and hoarse. "I'm going to make it so I don't see his face in my mind ever again. Maybe then I'll be able to sleep at night."

Anko cut herself off with an abrupt, bitter laugh. "Look at me, getting all worked up."

Sasuke watched her carefully, his dark eyes wide and round. He looked very young. "Are you strong enough?"

Anko stood up abruptly, pushing back her chair and sticking her hands in her pockets. "I guess we'll find out. But Kami knows I won't be fighting him alone. That's just stupid. You need people watching your back if you want to take down someone like Orochimaru… or Itachi."

"Hn." Sasuke's grunt was, as always, devoid of emotion. But Anko could practically see the wheels turning in Sasuke's mind as he mulled over what she said.

"I know what you're feeling," Anko said as she made her way to the door. "Because I felt it too. I still feel it. And I know nothing I say will keep you from trying to get stronger so you can avenge your family. But you don't need to shut everyone out to do it. It's okay to ask for help."

"I can't be weak," Sasuke whispered, causing Anko to pause by the door.

"That's not weakness," she tossed over her shoulder. "In fact, it's the definition of strength. The sooner you figure that out, the better."

Without waiting for Sasuke to respond, she pushed open the door and walked out. She saw Kakashi waiting outside on the cramped front porch.

"Eavesdropping?" Anko demanded, placing her hands on her hips. Kakashi held up his hands as if surrendering.

"Just passing by, and happened to overhear. Uh, no offense, Anko, but I thought the Hokage wanted us to... um, do pretty much the opposite of what you just did."

Anko shrugged, her eyes suspiciously bright. "Whatever. The brat was persuasive."

Kakashi sighed. "Anko... you okay?"

"Just peachy, thanks."

Kakashi reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, but she knocked his hand aside. A few more chakra-fueled steps and she reached the edge of her property. She needed to get away; to clear her head of a pair of yellow, snake-like eyes, and a mocking smile.

"Just don't drink!" Kakashi called after her. "We're on duty."

"Fuck off."

oOoOo

Later that night, Kakashi sensed motion outside the door to his bedroom. He palmed the kunai he always kept under his pillow, but decided on a hunch not to throw. The door opened, revealing Anko.

In the flickering light from the hall, she looked somehow smaller than usual. Frightened.

"I..." she swallowed, looked down, then tried again. "I know I'm going to dream about... him, and I... I don't want to be alone tonight. Please..."

She met his eyes again. Her eyes were sharp and clear, and her breath held no hint of alcohol. She was alone with her pain.

For answer, Kakashi pulled back a corner of his blanket - a wordless invitation. She clung to him tightly in the darkness, fully clothed. There was nothing romantic about her vulnerability. But Kakashi recognized in her the same fear, the same black dread that gripped him when he dreamed of Rin's blood on his hands. This was small comfort indeed, for a woman who'd suffered as Anko had, but it was all he could do for her.

Anko fell asleep eventually, and Kakashi surprised himself by drifting off as well.

When Kakashi awoke the next morning, Anko was already gone. Kakashi yawned mightily, reflecting that he hadn't dreamed of anything last night. He could count on one hand the number of nights of dreamless sleep he'd had in the last month, so it was an unexpected blessing. He felt refreshed.

Kakashi did a quick sweep of the grounds. He confirmed with Pakkun, who had been on night watch, that no one had come close to the perimeter. Then he went back inside and whipped up a hasty breakfast of ramen. It was only 5am, and Sasuke was still fast asleep.

As Kakashi was finishing his ramen, Anko came through the front door. She was sweaty and breathing hard, most likely from some strenuous early-morning workout at one of the training areas reserved for shinobi of chuunin rank and above.

Anko crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at Kakashi. "So that's how you eat with the mask," she said. "I've always wondered."

Kakashi shrugged. "Don't give away the secret, okay? I don't want it getting back to Gai."

"Speaking of secrets," Anko changed the topic. "About last night. If you tell anyone what happened, I'll kill you."

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked, deliberately casual. "Nothing happened."

Anko nodded vigorously. "Exactly. What happened last night is a secret you'll take to the grave, understood? If an Inuzuka asks why our scents are mingled, tell them we had sex. Tell them I screwed you so hard you couldn't see straight. But if you tell them the truth…"

"That we cuddled?" Kakashi asked innocently. For some reason Anko's prickliness brought out a playful side in him, one he hadn't known existed until now.

He dodged a kunai aimed at his throat. Anko held another, ready to throw.

"If you ever use... that word... again, I promise you'll regret it."

"And Kakashi..." she added as she ducked back out the door. "Thanks."

"No problem," Kakashi called out as the door slammed closed.

Any time. He shook his head, wondering where that thought had come from. It took him another moment to wonder why Anko had left. Wasn't she going to eat breakfast?

oOoOo

Shikaku was enjoying a quiet breakfast with his teammates, Inoichi and Chouza. The three fathers didn't often have the time to get together, given that they all had to balance their jobs as high-ranking shinobi, their responsibilities as heads of their respective clans, and the headaches that came with being parents and husbands. But whenever they could, they snuck off to their favorite restaurant to grab a bite to eat and talk.

This morning they were swapping stories of their children, who were all in the same year at the Shinobi Academy. Shikaku was a bit worried about Shikamaru, who had already been reprimanded multiple times for skipping class in order to take naps. Inoichi was practically glowing as he recounted Ino's latest academic success—apparently the girl showed promise.

Shikaku was contemplating the necessity of leaving for work when a commotion near the entrance to the restaurant drew his attention.

"Ma'am, we simply cannot allow you to make a disturbance here-"

"Believe me, buddy, if you don't get out of my way right now you'll see exactly how much of a disturbance I can make!"

Shoving a protesting waiter out of her way, Mitarashi Anko marched over to Shikaku's table and sat down next to Chouza. Shikaku and his teammates watched Anko with surprise. She was one of the younger generation of up-and-coming shinobi; quite skilled, but not affiliated with a larger clan and not experienced enough to have much of a reputation outside the village yet. She had the look of an Inuzuka hound on a tracking mission; Shikaku wondered what she had come for.

"I've been looking all over for you!" Anko informed Shikaku, as if it were his fault that she hadn't found him at the Nara compound.

"You've found me," he said with a touch of amusement. "Now what?"

"I need some advice," she said, casually swiping a piece of bread from the loaded tray in front of Chouza. She bit off a chunk and chewed with evident satisfaction. "Scrmf… delicious. I haven't had breakfast, you know. Anyway, advice! I thought if anyone could help me, it would be the smartest guy in the village."

"I'll do my best," Shikaku said, more confused than ever. Inoichi and Chouza were openly grinning, anticipating what Anko was going to say next.

"So you know I've been made Sasuke's bodyguard, right?" Anko began.

Shikaku nodded. As Jounin Commander, he had been informed of the Hokage's plan even before Kakashi and Anko had been assigned to the job. He thought Anko was perhaps a bit inexperienced for the job, but then her… unique… experiences might compensate for that.

Anko sighed, then proceeded to polish off the remainder of Chouza's food. "Well, the kid's pretty messed up."

"It would be strange if he weren't," Shikaku said sadly. "No one could go through what he did and come out unscathed."

"Exactly. And I'm trying to make sure the kid gets un-screwed up. Problem is, that's not really my area of expertise. Kind of the opposite, when you think about it. So I thought I'd pick that gigantic brain of yours, and see if you can think of anything. How can I get Sasuke to stop obsessing over his brother, or at least channel some of his energy in a healthier direction?"

Shikaku scratched his chin, considering what Anko had said. He was impressed with her, and he agreed that it was an important, if thorny problem. No matter how talented or resilient, Sasuke was just a child. You couldn't expect a child to go through hell without changing, and Shikaku's experience—not to mention his friend Inoichi's lessons on the way the mind actually worked—led him to believe that the change wasn't always for the better. Victims of trauma sometimes grew up to be aggressors, unconsciously replicating the very crimes that had originally made them suffer. It would be a terrible tragedy if that happened to the last loyal Uchiha.

Anko was tapping her foot impatiently by the time Shikaku finished thinking through the problem. He thought he had an idea, though only time would tell if it was a good one. In any case, Shikaku didn't think his strategy could make anything any worse, and in his line of work that was the kind of strategy that one rarely encountered.

"You know the Nara clan raises deer," he mused at last, after draining the remainder of his mug of tea. "Well, a few years back we had a little fawn that lost his mother. He went into a funk that lasted days. Wouldn't play with the others, wouldn't even eat. We tried everything, but nothing worked… until we introduced the fawn to another fawn whose mother died giving birth. The older one practically adopted the younger one. Looked after him, even protected him. Somehow, having to take responsibility for another creature gave the fawn the push it needed to keep on living."

Chouza was giving him a puzzled look, but Shikaku ignored him.

"Responsibility, hm?" Anko repeated, intrigued. "Interesting… I'll have to think about that. Thank you, sir!"

She was gone in a flash, disappearing as suddenly as she had arrived.

Chouza looked at the door where Anko had left, then turned back to Shikaku and scratched his head. "I've never heard you tell that story before, buddy."

"That's because it never happened," Inoichi said, sending a shrewd glance at his commander and best friend. "Am I right?"

Shikaku nodded and signaled the waiter to get him some more tea. He would have preferred something stronger, but his wife would kill him if she thought he was using his get-togethers with Chouza and Inoichi as an excuse to start drinking again.

"Obviously I'm missing something," Chouza said, glancing back and forth between his two teammates. "What gives?"

"Don't worry about it, Chouza," Shikaku said easily. "Explaining would be… troublesome."

oOoOo

Back at Anko's house, Kakashi was busy laying plans. Sasuke was outside in the yard, practicing his evasion skills. That was a fancy way of saying that Kakashi's ninken were having a grand old time burrowing through the ground and springing out without warning, trying to pin Sasuke to the ground.

Sasuke's task was to escape, and so far he was doing a decent job for his seven years. Kakashi had captured jounin with the help of his ninken, though, so he was confident Sasuke would have his hands full.

The purpose of the training had a deeper purpose, of course, and that was to try to get Sasuke to have fun.

Kakashi hoped that playing with dogs, even if they were deadly ninken who would rather kill a man than fetch a stick (except for Pakkun, who actually quite liked playing catch), would make Sasuke feel a bit happier. Dogs were good therapy, that was a simple fact—if Sasuke saw it as training and picked up a few skills at the same time, all the better.

While Sasuke trained, Kakashi schemed. There were a dozen things he wanted to do first; any number of avenues he could explore in order to figure out more about his self-appointed mission to get to the bottom of the Uchiha Massacre. He thought the best way to start was to reach out to Tenzou, who had recently begun his career in ANBU after Kakashi had brought him to his senses regarding Danzou.

Tenzou might have some info that only ANBU were aware of, and if it wasn't something classified, he would certainly share with Kakashi. Even if there was classified information that Tenzou couldn't share, Kakashi was confident he could read Tenzou's reactions and figure out whether he had to go higher on the totem pole.

Just as Kakashi had decided to go in search of Tenzou, the door crashed open and Anko waltzed into the kitchen looking inordinately pleased with herself.

"I'm brilliant!" she announced in a sing-song voice, slinging herself down into the chair next to Kakashi and putting her booted feet on the table.

Kakashi blinked. "How?"

She punched him in the arm, and even though she was playing, Kakashi winced. Anko hit hard!

"I meant, how were you brilliant specifically? Or were you announcing your brilliance as a general observation?"

"Shut it, smart mouth! I'm brilliant because I finally figured out what we can do for Sasuke. He needs a sibling!"

Kakashi felt like he'd missed something.

"Um… he had one," Kakashi pointed out blankly. "Didn't work out too well, for Sasuke or Konoha."

"Not a big brother like Itachi," Anko said impatiently. "Not an idol that can let him down. Someone his own age or younger. Someone he feels responsible for. Someone who needs him, who looks up to him. Right now Sasuke's thinking, 'Why did my big brother leave me?!' We need him to be thinking, 'I'll never let my little brother or sister get hurt the way I did!' See what I'm saying?"

"I… suppose," Kakashi said slowly. It wasn't necessarily a bad idea… but would it really work? And how could they possibly implement it? "But, ah, where would this hypothetical sibling come from?"

Anko's posture changed to become positively seductive. She walked around the table to Kakashi, eyes smoldering and hips swaying in a way that made Kakashi cough uncomfortably. He tugged at his mask, which suddenly felt hot and itchy against his face. "Oh, Kakashi," Anko purred. "Do I really have to explain to you about the birds and the bees?"

"I… no… that is…" he stammered weakly.

Anko dropped the act, laughing uproariously. "Oh, don't get your mask in a twist, Kakashi. I'm not suggesting we make him ourselves. No, there have got to be plenty of children on the streets who would love a chance to join our wacky little family."

"Slow down, Anko," Kakashi said, starting to feel a bit alarmed. Things were rapidly getting out of hand. "Who said anything about family? Sasuke is our mission, that's all. And he's a handful as it is. Now you want us looking after another child?! Are you crazy?"

"I'm not legally required to answer that," Anko joked with a straight face. "And anyway, compared to Sasuke how much trouble could another brat be? A little extra effort now, a bit more grocery money every week, and we might make things easier for ourselves down the road. We just need to find a brat no one wants, then throw him or her together with Sasuke and see what happens. If he's anything like a deer, it'll be fine!"

"Like a deer? What-" Kakashi cut himself, putting a hand to his temple. He felt a migraine coming on.

"You're fine here, right?" Anko said breezily. "I'm off to get Sasuke a sibling."

"Hold it, Anko!" Kakashi shouted, even as Anko used the Body Flicker jutsu to exit the house. "You can't just steal a child! How the hell are you going to find someone Sasuke's age or younger with no family and no place to call home? It's not like children like that are just running around in the street! …Oh, dear Kami. Anko, don't even think-"

But she was long gone.

The Hokage is going to kill me…

oOoOo

It was a beautiful day for pranking, and Uzumaki Naruto was taking full advantage of it. Though only seven years old, he was already well versed in the art of evasion. He needed those skills, because at that very moment he was racing across the rooftops of Konoha with chuunin in hot pursuit.

A trio of chuunin tried to trap Naruto by approaching him from three different sides, but Naruto foiled their efforts with a nifty Substitution jutsu. The technique didn't always work, but that time it worked spectacularly. He couldn't help but laugh as his pursuers converged on a loose chimney tile, while Naruto himself reappeared several rooftops away.

Several minutes of hair-raising pursuit and a calculated detour through an open window later, Naruto managed to give his pursuers the slip for a moment. He ducked into an alley and hunkered down next to a dumpster, taking a second to catch his breath.

"HA! Idiots. They should know better than to chase me by now!"

Naruto spoke aloud to himself, ignoring the twinge of sadness that he felt when there was no one around to hear. It was the normal state of things, though. He was always alone, except at the Academy. And there it was even worse, because none of the children wanted to play with him. Not even the instructors seemed to like him.

"Pretty slick, brat. You run away from shinobi often?"

Naruto whirled around in shock. How had they found him?

He saw a strange-looking woman perched casually on the low-hanging roof, her legs dangling down. She had brown hair and wore a trenchcoat over a mesh shirt, and if it weren't for her Konoha hitai-ite Naruto wouldn't have believed that such an odd-looking person was indeed a shinobi. She munched on a stick of dango with a casual air, as if she did this every day.

"How did you catch up to me?" Naruto asked. He thought he'd covered his tracks so well this time…

"Never mind that, brat."

The woman seemed to disappear, and the next thing Naruto knew she was standing right beside him. He stumbled backwards, jaw dropping.

"The name's Mitarashi Anko," she said, extending her hand. "And I'm gonna ask you a few questions. Ready?"

Naruto shook her hand, wondering if this was a dream. He couldn't think of anyone besides the Hokage who had willingly introduced themselves to him before, much less talked to him without barely repressed revulsion or outright hostility.

"Su… sure. Ask me!"

Anko took out a notebook and a writing brush from a pocket of her trenchcoat. "Are you an orphan?" she asked matter-of-factly.

"Yes," Naruto replied, feeling his face flush with shame. He didn't know why he felt ashamed at that question, but nevertheless he did.

Anko nodded and checked off something in her notebook.

"If you were to fall off the face of the earth, would anyone miss you?"

"Of course!" Naruto blurted out. "Loads of people!"

Anko merely stared at him over the top of her notebook. Naruto drew back, eyes falling.

"Well… the old man might be sad. And Teuchi! Though maybe he'd just be sad not to sell as much ramen…"

Naruto wasn't sure he liked this Anko after all. She kept asking questions that weren't nice at all.

"Last question," Anko said, making one more note in her notebook. "Would you like to come live with me?"

Naruto froze. He thought he must have heard wrong. "Wh-what did you say?"

"I didn't stutter, brat. I asked if you wanted to come live with me. I have an important mission for you, and the only way you can fulfill it is if you stay with me and a few others."

Naruto tried to stay cool. It wasn't every day someone came up and offered you your heart's desire, and he had the bizarre sense that if he let slip exactly how much he wanted to say yes, Anko might change her mind and leave him.

"Um… what's the mission?" he asked, when his brain finally processed the second part of Anko's offer.

"It's something of the utmost importance to the village," Anko assured him. "It won't be an easy job, but I think you're right for it. See, I'm looking after another boy about your age, and he needs a best friend. Can you do it?

"Of course!" Naruto burst out, unable to play it cool any longer. This lady wasn't just offering him a home, but a friend his own age?! "I'll be the bestest best friend ever, just you wait!"

Anko shook a finger at him sternly. "I'm gonna hold you to that. Now, let's go. We've got a lot to do, and no better time to start than now!"

Naruto stared at her outstretched hand, suddenly unaccountably afraid. "You mean… now? Right now?"

"When did you think I meant, next week?" Anko said with exasperation, tapping her foot impatiently. "Come on! Oh, I almost forgot. Take this dango skewer, and this too. It's called an exploding tag. Let's see if we can't singe the eyebrows off a few of those chuunin on the way home. They need someone to keep them on their toes."

Naruto ate the offered dango in quiet wonder, and when he was done he wrapped the explosive tag around the skewer with reverence. Anko gestured to the rooftops, inviting Naruto to lead the way.

The subsequent trip across the rooftops was like a blur in Naruto's mind. But even in his euphoria over the dual pleasures of food and explosives, Naruto did not miss the fact—and how could he possibly have missed it?—that Anko had used the word 'home'.