Same disclaimers! S&H don't belong to me and no profit is being made.
Warnings: violence and bad language.
CHAPTER 2
The funeral was a very sad affair for all concerned. They always were, but more so when the death was of a young person under such tragic circumstances. It was very difficult for the fellow police officers, and their families.
Starsky watched the ceremony grimly. He still couldn't quite believe that Pete had been killed and the suddenness of the tragedy had left him reeling. He glanced towards his partner who was standing next to him. Shivering slightly, not wanting to allow his thoughts free reign, he turned his attention back to the sad words being spoken.
Hutch was equally shaken by the death and as he listened to the eulogy being read, he was struck again by how quickly life could be ended. Pete had got up that morning, had breakfast, come to work, never expecting it would be his last day on earth. It was frightening and he was sick to his heart at the thought of burying his own partner. Certainly there had been times over the years when it had seemed likely. But the stubborn, volatile man next to him had beaten the odds over and over again. The question was, how often could he do this. The thoughts were unpleasant and Hutch forced himself to think about the events unfolding in front of him. Pete's death was bad enough without borrowing trouble.
As Hutch drove them home, he was aware something was playing on his partner's mind, something other than just the funeral. Considering where his thoughts had taken him, he had a fairly good idea but he knew better than to push Starsky before he was ready. He kept glancing at him in concern, knowing how uncharacteristic it was for him to remain silent. Hutch was the introspective one of the two, but on this occasion it was Starsky who was brooding and seemed to be wrapped up in his own disturbing thoughts.
Hutch wasn't sure what to say, but as he pulled up in front of Starsky's place he turned to look at his still glum partner. Without a word, he got out of the car and followed Starsky into his apartment. Grabbing two cans of beer, he sat on the chair opposite him.
"Okay, buddy?" Hutch asked gently.
"Do you ever feel scared, Hutch, I mean really scared?" Starsky found it difficult to talk, but Hutch knew what he meant. Suppressed, but unforgotten memories, came flooding back unbidden. Thinking back to an Italian restaurant when Starsky had been shot and help was held at bay by a couple of assassins; when he had held Starsky in a back alley, believing he was going to lose him in a matter of hours. The terror of that day still shook him, and then the worst event of them all, having to watch Starsky bleeding badly from multiple gun shot wounds next to his Torino. Added to that, was the knowledge his friend's heart had actually stopped beating…Hutch grimaced and put his hand on Starsky's shoulder.
"Yeah, Starsk. I get scared." Starsky grinned weakly at him. He'd always known Hutch would understand. He'd had his fair share of scares with Hutch too, and they were playing very much on his mind. Memories of finding his partner trapped under a car in a ravine; standing helplessly behind a hospital window and watching life seep away with the plague…Starsky shuddered at the terrible memories. Then with the shootout that had killed Pete--there had been a moment when it could have been Hutch. He needed to say some things, however difficult it was to put his feelings into words.
"We've been lucky so far, Hutch, but do ya ever wonder if our luck is gonna run out?" Hutch went cold, he preferred not to think of such things.
"Nah, 'cause we're not gonna let it…" Hutch swallowed. The thought was unimaginable.
"Look, Hutch, I know I don't say it much, and ya know I hate soapy scenes, but…" Starsky forced himself to continue, already uncomfortable with the conversation. He preferred actions over words when it came to showing Hutch how much he cared, but he didn't want to have regrets for leaving things unsaid. Hutch reached out and grabbed his hand, completely understanding Starsky's need to talk, even though they never usually needed words. He wanted to let him know he understood without resorting to a soapy scene. The next few simple words set things right.
"I know, Starsk. believe me, I know. Ditto, babe." Starsky returned the grip and grinned weakly. Somehow, he'd got lucky when he met Hutch, and they'd formed the most important friendship in his life. However, he now needed to lighten the moment.
"Let's get drunk!" with that they managed to consume a large quantity of beer, certainly enough to ensure that Hutch had to sleep on the sofa.
---
Life settled down again in the Department, but Starsky and Hutch still tried to spend as much time as they could with Ben, visiting him after work. Ben had gone on a leave of absence in an attempt to work out whether he wanted to continue on in the Department or not. Four weeks after the funeral, he reported to Dobey's office, prepared he thought, to return to duty.
The sound of shouting soon came from Dobey's office and both Starsky and Hutch jumped up. When Ben came running out, they followed him without a word into the police garage.
"Ben?" Starsky approached him gently.
"He wants to assign me a new partner." Ben was very upset. Starsky and Hutch exchanged uneasy looks. Both could sympathize with Ben's reluctance to accept another partner but the rules were clear--if you wanted to be a street cop you had to have a partner. Ben saw the look.
"I know, I know and I'm not being fair to Dobey but it makes it more real somehow. I still keep expecting Pete to come bounding in..." Starsky patted his shoulder.
"Maybe it's too soon." he shivered as he said it. Four weeks wouldn't be long enough for him but then would a lifetime? He glanced at his partner who, as usual, knew what he was thinking. Hutch smiled a long, slow smile at him, indicating he understood. This was an impossible scenario for either of them to comprehend.
"I wanna give it a go, Starsky. Pete wouldn't want me to give up."
Three days later George Rayner joined the department.