Chapter six

It had been a few days since Flora had had time to delve into her mother's letters. Work and Katie had been all consuming. Sometimes she found everything hard to balance. Being surgical registrar at The Royal Infirmary was pretty full on but she loved it, just as she loved being a mother. Shifts had worked out well since her return, with both she and Erin on day shift. While Erin bathed Katie before bedtime, Flora took the opportunity for five minutes peace in the old rocking chair to lose herself in her mother's gift.

January 2028

My dearest Kate

Guess what! We are grandmothers. What do you think of that? William and Emma had their first, a little girl. She was our Christmas surprise born on Christmas Day, three weeks early. As everyone observed she's going to hate that when she's older. Even early she still weighed in at a respectable 7 pounds. They have called her Anne Katherine known as Annie. I have no idea who she looks like but I have to admit she is very cute.

Of course amidst the joy, it took me back to the day Flora was born. Bloody hell Kate will I ever be totally rid of that day? Can you ever be I wonder? I suspect not, at least not until I am with you again. I have never told you of first seeing her have I. After they told me I asked to see you. They took me to a small room and there you were. Lying there I could have sworn you were sleeping. I sat there for the longest time holding your hand willing you to wake up. Eventually Gillian came and persuaded me to leave. She said she was taking me to see my daughter. I think I must have been on autopilot because I remember little, but I do remember the moment they put Flora in my arms. She was a beautiful little thing perfect in every detail. She was of course fast asleep. We sat there a while and then she stirred in my arms and reminded me she was alive. The tears began to flow. I couldn't stop them. I think I was crying for her, for you, for me and I couldn't stop.

A lot has happened since that day. I love Flora to bits. She has been a shining light leading me through many a dark day especially in those early days. She is a wonderful girl though I must admit now puberty has hit I could give her away on sometimes. She has an opinion on everything and isn't afraid to voice it. I don't know where she gets that from. You were never so opinionated. She had Laurence going the other day telling him exactly why his latest TV show was rubbish and she's only 13 for heaven's sake. No boyfriends or girlfriends on the scene yet thank goodness. I am not sure I could cope with all the angst that goes with it. You would have been so much better. She does have a wide circle of friends though. I am really glad about that. I worry about her rattling around in this big old house with just me. However as it turns out our house seems to be the favourite hangout. We always seem to have a stream of teenagers in the place. The only time the Headmistress makes an appearance is when they play that bloody awful music of theirs too loudly.

I do admit Flora settled into Sulgrave well. She did have to put up with mother as Head for the first year of course. Well I couldn't turn down the pleading of the Governors for one final year. They weren't happy with the potential replacements. More on that in a bit. Darling Flora is topping her class in just about everything and I think she might end up following the science road which I would be thrilled about. She loves physics and chemistry. Don't worry though she continues to be musical and is a natural on the piano. When not telling us all what we should be thinking, she can charm the birds from the trees… just like her mum. I wish you were here to see how she is turning out, but then I wish you were here full stop.

I did finally retire last summer. Sulgrave has a new Head, an Australian would you believe and an artist to boot. I wasn't sure how I felt about either of those points if you want the honest truth, but I have warmed to her. She won't be as good as me but she will do ok and we are becoming friends.

Don't worry I haven't taken to sitting in the rocking chair knitting all day, thought I must admit I did have a dream the other day of both of us side by side in our rocking chairs. Let me say for an old bird you were very sexy rocking away. I digress. I am as busy as ever. We never know what's round the corner and as you and I know it can be utter crap or something positive. What has happened the last few months definitely has been a positive corner turn. It has been energising and uplifting and you won't believe it. Get ready for this. I am a radio celebrity. Yep I am famous. Well when I say that I don't mean famous throughout the land like Laurence, but famous in Yorkshire and Lancashire and they may have heard of me in Cumbria too. I am (drum roll please) Dr McKenzie Dawson Science correspondent for BBC Radio Leeds and BBC Manchester. I do a half hour a week segment a week on each. It's brilliant. I get to talk on anything I like and you know how much I enjoy that, plus I get to interview all these intelligent fascinating scientists. Last week it was Brian Cox. You'd remember him. All the girls thought he was cute. Flora thinks and I quote 'it's well cool'. Even William and Laurence are impressed.

It's not all though. I took up writing fiction a little while ago and have just had a radio play accepted by BBC Leeds. It's set in a school and is a comedy. I have drawn on real life. Do you remember the time I yelled at 9F in Latin? That's in there. It goes to air next week as part of a series featuring new local writers. As part of the publicity they have done an article on me in the Courier. All very exciting and it keeps me busy.

Not bad for an old bird who turned 60 last birthday. Yeah yeah I know 60 is the new 40. Try telling that to my poor arthritic fingers some mornings. The family put on a big bash for me which I didn't really want..as you know I hate the fuss…but I didn't know how to get out of it. Anyway the whole clan was there from everywhere plus people from Sulgrave, a couple from Oxford and one or two others. William gave a very nice speech and Gillian gave one that was hysterical. She recounted the time I called her low life trailer trash amongst other things. She also apologised for missing our wedding day all those years ago and how it was a big regret of hers. She's a funny one.

We got up The Pike again this year. It is such an important ritual for me. My way of giving thanks for your life and our love. You taught me to truly love you know, my wonderful Kate. I was a lost soul until you found me. I am such a better person for loving and being loved by you.

This year just a small group of us went up. William was missing but Flora, Laurence and his partner came with me. Gillian was at home nursing broken ribs. She had an altercation with a ram who apparently mistook her for a ewe and she came off second best. I don't know how she manages that farm with so little help, especially as she gets older. Robbie is still in the Force (yes miracle of miracles they are still married), and Raff has his own life now. His firm have sent him to New York for a year which is wonderful for him Elle and the kids. I am off to see how the invalid is tomorrow. I love the woman as if she really was my sister, when I am not wanting to kill her. I have even baked a cake for her and I don't do that for just any one. She brought you up the other day and asked me if I had ever really got over you. I said I didn't know what that meant. An unbreakable bond is just that..unbreakable. You live deep within me. I think of you every day and that's fine. It's not as if I am not happy most of the time. I just accept the bond and live in the moment. The moment has been pretty full this last year.

Your star is very bright tonight my darling wife. You must be looking down on us. I will take that thought to bed to warm me on this very cold night. Until we are together again I do and will always remain your

Caroline xx

Flora looked at the bits and pieces her mother had added. There was the clipping from the Courier where her mother spoke about her life and her writing. Flora smiled at the memory. The article had brought kudos and teasing in equal measure at school when it had come out. The play had been a huge success and had been taken up by Radio 4 nationally. Her mother had appeared on the BBC Breakfast show in a segment on new writers. Flora had gone with her much to her excitement. Not so much because of her mum but because also appearing on the show that day was her hero of the time. Flora had almost swooned when chart topping singer Mandi McDonald had agreed to a photo. She hadn't seen the photo in ages but there it was. Her mother must have kept it and had included it with the clipping.

Flora turned the page to the next letter. Before she had a chance to read, her daughter raced in.

"Story Mum. Come on."

Ahh well, back to the present. The letters would keep. Flora tucked the book safely away, took her daughter's hand and allowed herself to be led off for the bedtime ritual.