Same Disclaimers: S&H do not belong to me and no profit is being made.

Same warnings although violence is now finishedJ but the topic of bigotry is still dealt with.

Sorry for the delay in posting. Real life and computer problems have been a bit overwhelming.

Thank you for your kind reviews and encouragement.

CHAPTER 13

Starsky's condition was serious due to the severity of the beating. Cracked ribs, concussion and blood loss, but his internal injuries were not as extensive as initially feared. The doctor didn't anticipate any unpleasant surprises and when he found out that it had been a hate crime, he gave Hutch permission to sit with him. He realized that his patient would need all the support that he could get, and it certainly appeared as if the blond man would provide it.

While Starsky was being settled in his room, Hutch knew he had to see Dobey who had another night in the hospital before being discharged. He had to be told about the horrific events. As Hutch walked down the corridor, he couldn't ever remember feeling as old as he did at that point. He was weary and sad, worried about Starsky, Anna Steiner and the Dobeys. This was going to be a tough situation for them to recover from. Anna, who had been so shocked and upset about Pete's death, was now having to deal with the devastating loss of her husband. Hutch shook his head slowly, trying to clear his mind. He would visit her as soon as he could, but although he really wanted to be there for her, he knew his priorities at that moment lay in the hospital, talking to his captain and looking out for his best friend.

Edith was sitting with her husband and they were talking quietly but she got up when she saw Hutch, delighted to see him as always.

"Ken, how are..." she didn't finish. One look at Hutch's face revealed that something was wrong, terribly wrong. She exchanged a glance with her husband and shepherded the blond detective into a chair. No words were needed, Hutch's drawn and exhausted appearance told them something terrible had occurred and Edith held her breath anxiously. The absence of the curly-haired half of the partnership was very obvious.

"What is it, honey?" Edith spoke gently to the shocked man. Her innate warmth and caring coming through loudly.

"Starsk--he was attacked and beaten up and is in ICU." he swallowed hard after saying the stark words. Even though he knew it wasn't a nightmare, the incident had a nightmarish feel about it. He looked at the shocked expressions on the Dobeys' faces. It was only going to get worse.

"Ben is dead, murdered by the same maniac, the racist maniac who also attacked you Captain. George Rayner. We struggled and he was shot and didn't make it." Hutch simply couldn't say any more, his emotions were very close to the surface.

Dobey was stunned. He'd been painfully aware of Rayner's attitude as barely concealed contempt emanated strongly from him. He'd known why, of course, but despite this knowledge, he hadn't understood just how extreme the new detective was. Bigotry was such an insidious problem, and was very hard to act upon as it was so difficult to prove. Until something like this happened and then it was too late--far too late for Ben Steiner, and nearly too late for Starsky.

"How's Starsky?" Dobey swallowed his rage with difficulty.

"Dunno really. Doc says he'll probably be okay but his condition is serious. The maniac really beat him badly." Hutch's voice broke and when he felt Edith's arms around him, he turned to her and cried. He was normally a lot more reserved with people, but his emotions were running high, and these two friends understood--they had been victimized too and they knew how much he loved Starsky. They all cried for Ben.

--

Hutch finally left the Dobey's room, still feeling shattered by the attack on Starsky, but feeling comforted by the fact he was in the presence of friends. He only hoped that he could provide Starsky with the same comfort, could help him come to terms with the terrible attack and Ben's brutal murder.

Starsky had regained consciousness by the time Hutch returned and was uncharacteristically silent as Hutch filled him in on what had happened. Mercifully Starsky's memories of the attack were blurred although he did recall Ben's final moments.

Hutch sat by the bed, his hand firmly on Starsky's arm, feeling the need to have physical contact. It had always been an important part of their communication and as he watched Starsky's expressive face go through a variety of emotions, he knew it was important for them both.

Starsky remained very still but as he felt Hutch move slightly he reached out to grab his hand to stop him going too far. No words were spoken as they both tried to come to terms. Rather surprisingly, it was Hutch who chose to break the silence first. Things had been bothering him from the outset and there were things he needed to say.

"Starsk, you do know that I love ya and that anything I said before, was just rubbish." Hutch wasn't sure how to ask what he wanted to ask, so he decided just to lay things out in the open.

"I know, blintz, I know." Starsky whispered as Hutch took his bruised hand in both of his and held it gently.

"I felt that I'd really hurt you, Starsk, even though it was part of the act…"

Starsky looked at the distress in Hutch's face. He knew why Hutch felt that way, it was because he had been hurt by the comments and his perceptive partner had picked up on it. Even though he'd known it was an act, Hutch's words had affected him. As much as he believed in their friendship and partnership, there were times when his old insecurities took over. The insecurities that arose from him being a poor boy from New York, and not a son from a wealthy family in Minnesota. The insecurities that came from a lifetime of being exposed to bigotry and abuse, although he knew he'd not suffered as much as some of friends and family. In the last few years, this had been because he'd been blessed with Hutch's friendship. But he still suffered from feelings of inadequacy at times. He knew he was certainly more streetwise than Hutch, but Hutch had the polish and sophistication that came from his background and there were times that he felt awkward. He never doubted that Hutch both loved and accepted him as he was, but he had moments, particularly in the early days, of feeling out of place around his partner, and he knew that Hutch did get impatient sometimes with his playful antics.

"I guess it did hurt, and I know it was stupid but I wasn't ready to hear those words come out of your mouth. You know, about me being a child and you not wanting to be there for me." he stopped when he saw Hutch's face "Hey, I know they were just words, but I guess I overreacted. I know I bug you at times but…."

"NO, Starsk." Hutch leaned in to him, still holding his hand. "You get this loud and clear. You're my best friend and the best partner anyone could ever have and I don't want you any different. Yeah, you bug me at times but hey, even I'm not quite perfect." he gave a slight grin, which Starsky returned.

"No, blondie, you ain't perfect but I'll take you as you are. I guess we're stuck with each other eh?" Starsky was tiring rapidly but he knew it was important they finish this conversation.

"Thank God." he ruffled Starsky's hair gently.

"Do you ever wonder about how we got to be friends? We're so different and I don't mean I'm Jewish and you're not. I grew up on the streets of New York, and you…" Despite his weariness and sadness, Starsky found he wanted to keep talking about things that puzzled him at times. He did often wonder what he'd done to earn Hutch's friendship.

Hutch understood what Starsky was asking, and decided it couldn't hurt, although he wanted his partner to get some sleep.

"Grew up on a well-to-do ranch in Minnesota." Hutch finished the sentence for him. He'd never stopped to consider the differences as they simply didn't matter to him but he suddenly found himself wondering if it was more of an issue for Starsky. To most people Starsky always appeared totally self-confident, but Hutch knew that wasn't always the case. The loss of his father's guidance and love when he was still very young had certainly affected him. He'd had to grow up while he was still a child and the confidence he exuded was often just surface deep.

"No, Starsk, I just figure we both got pretty lucky one day. Or perhaps we have a guardian angel who decided that the boy from Minnesota needed a boy from New York in his life. Whoever or whatever made that decision, was dead right. I'd never known anyone before who loved and accepted me for just being me and it was, and is, a great feeling. So whatever it was, I thank God for it every day, Starsk. Don't ever doubt it. I've made some mistakes in the past but never again. I'll never take you for granted again."

Starsky gave a weak grin. "Yeah, you will, and I'll do the same. We've both made mistakes but we've got away with it. Mistakes don't matter in the scheme of things, nothing does except…" His words trailed off into a yawn.

They exchanged a long look, everything right between them again and both thankful for whatever fate had decreed they should be partners. Starsky also knew at that moment that he wanted to talk more to Hutch, to talk to him about his insecurities but it was growing more and more difficult to ignore his body's demands for rest. More talking could wait, but he would make sure they did finish this conversation.

Hutch had seen the tiredness creeping back before Starsky gave into it, and was determined to make sure Starsky didn't push himself. "Now you get some sleep, partner, we've got a rough road ahead of us and you need your rest. I'm not going anywhere and I'll be here when you wake up."

As Starsky dozed off, Hutch watched him, fully intending on staying with him, even though he knew he'd be okay. The days ahead were going to be tough for everyone and he both needed and wanted to be there for his curly-haired friend. Starsky would have to deal with his own injuries, the death of Ben and talking to Ben's wife.

Dobey and Edith came in to join them. They'd found out that Starsky had regained consciousness and both wanted to see for themselves how he was.

"How is he?" Edith whispered when she saw that Starsky was asleep. Hutch shrugged tiredly.

"He'll be okay physically, but emotionally I don't know."

"He'll be okay emotionally, Ken. He's got you to hold on to." Edith leaned over to kiss Hutch, having noticed that Hutch was still holding Starsky's hand.

"Yeah, he's got me." Hutch agreed, giving Edith a small smile. "I just hope it's enough."

"I'd say it's more than enough." and Hutch smiled at her. He was certainly going to do his utmost to make sure it was enough, but then he remembered--me and thee. It had got them through some tough times before and would continue to do so.

End.