She stood in front of the mirror and eyed her outfit. It was nothing special, a pair of jeans and her favorite jumper. She tied her hair back into a pony tail and wrapped her scarf around her neck. She had to be at the Three Broomsticks in a half hour. She should have been giddy with excitement instead she felt an uneasiness in her stomach. She wasn't sure how today would go. She had imagined every possibility and she imagined them all ending badly. Giving herself a once over for the last time, she willed herself to move her feet. She promised Ginny she would be down over ten minutes ago. If she waited any longer, she would come in and drag her out.
As they made their way down the crowded, snow packed walkway Ginny chattered on about how excited she was.
"It's been nearly a month since we've seen them! It feels like so much longer doesn't it?"
"Yeah, it really does. It feels like it's been months. I never imagined the day where I would say I missed sharing that tent with them."
Ginny and Hermione both laughed, "You're a stronger girl than I. I would have strangled one of them."
Hermione pushed her friend playfully, "No, you would have strangled Ron. You don't think Harry can do any wrong."
Ginny smiled a toothy grin, "I do not!"
Hermione let out a hearty laugh as they walked through the door into the dusty old tavern. They walked towards their regular table. It was where they had met Ron and Harry each time they visited.
"Hermione!"
His voice boomed over all of the chatter in the small building. She picked him out through the crowd. Pushing her way through a few groups of younger students she made her way to Ron and threw her arms around him.
"I missed you," he said quietly in her ear as he held her close. She tightened her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his chest. Taking in a deep breath she closed her eyes. She had always loved the way Ron smelled. It made her feel comfortable; it made her feel like she was home. That was something that never changed.
She looked up at him, "You want to go outside? It's so loud in here."
With a nod he took Hermione in hand and they pushed their way to the exit and out into the cold winter air. Holding her close they walked along the path towards the shrieking shack, into a small clearing just beyond the trees. Clearing off a fallen tree that had fallen to the ground, they sat down.
"So how are things going? Are you almost done with training?"
Ron grabbed Hermione's hand and kissed it, "We're starting on some small missions. Nothing too dangerous, they have been careful about where they send us. It's left us chomping at the bit. We wanted to make a change. To help bring all these criminals to justice but they're afraid to let us do anything because of who we are."
"Just give it time Ron. You can't expect them to go throwing you into suicide missions. You and Harry are valuable not only for your skills but your knowledge. It will get better.
Ron leaned in and kissed Hermione on her head, "You're right. You're always right."
"Well I am the smart one."
Ron chuckled, "So how are things at Hogwarts?"
"Gryffindor won the game last night. Other than that is has been the same. There aren't as many students this year though. A lot of parents were concerned with safety. A lot of students transferred to other schools. As I told you, I am one of a paltry 15 students in their final year."
"Can you blame them after what went on here?"
"We have to move past all of this. Everyone is still dwelling on the things that happen. It's time we start anew. We can't keep holding on to all this pain. We're no better off."
Ron scoffed at what Hermione said but she continued on, "We didn't fight this war and lose all the people we lost to keep ourselves divided. The 'us versus them' mentality is as strong as ever. They have been hunting down the former death eaters like they had done with the muggle born. What we're doing is no different."
"You're wrong Hermione. What we're doing is making those people pay for the things they have done and the pain they caused."
"It has turned into a witch hunt, pun intended."
Ron rolled his eyes, "I don't want to talk about this."
So she dropped the subject. She wasn't trying to start an argument with him. Instead they sat in silence. This happened quite often. If they weren't butting heads, they weren't speaking. It was part of the reason that Hermione had been so conflicted.
"Ron, Are you happy?"
Giving her a quizzical look Ron answered her slowly, "Of course I am. I mean I complain about work but I really love it. Everything has been going great I couldn't be happier."
Hermione shook her head, "That's not what I mean. Are you happy with me?"
"You're my best friend Hermione."
Frustrated she sighed, "That's still not an answer."
"I love you Hermione."
"I love you too Ron but that doesn't mean you're happy."
Their voices had gotten quiet, near whispers. Both knew that they were treading dangerous waters. It was the elephant in the room that both had chosen to ignore.
"I don't want to lose you Hermione. After everything we've been through-"
Hermione cut him off before he could finish, "after everything we've been through shouldn't we be happy?"
Ron stood up and began to pace back and forth in front of her. Hermione felt a lump form in her throat. With a shaky voice she said, "And as much as I love you, I don't think we make each other happy. Not like we should."
He stopped in front on her and grabbed her hands. He pulled her up to stand with him. Squeezing her hands tightly, "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
"Look at us, we can't talk without arguing. We used to be close now we barely speak. I mean honestly Ronald , can you say that this is what you really want? For us to be like this for the rest of our lives?"
"I don't want to lose you."
Hermione reached up and placed her hand against Ron's cheek, "you could never lose me."
"Isn't that what's happening right now?"
She shook her head, "No, we're just trying things differently. I think we should go back to being friends."
"What if I can't be just a friend anymore?"
"We can't continue on like this. We're both miserable. I'm just the first to admit it."
He went to say something but stopped himself. He couldn't deny what she was saying. It was written all over their faces.
"I really do want to be friends Ron. It took me this long to say anything because I worried about losing you all together."
"I think I need some time."
His demeanor had changed. His body shifted away from her, away from her touch.
"I'm going to go."
With that he grabbed his wand out of his pocket. With a loud crack he left Hermione standing alone. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself but it was too much. She let out a sob before collapsing to her knees. Despite her best efforts she felt like she had lost him completely.