Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII or anything in it.
A/N: I keep meaning to slow down on this story, but I'm obsessed. I know the whole thing has not been very polished, but you guys seem OK with it.
"You're saying I'm bad for him?" Sephiroth frowned at Zack. Maybe there was such a thing as giving his First Classes too much latitude.
"No, Seph, hell no, It's just that you can be pretty hard on a guy. I mean you've hurt my feelings plenty, not even meaning to. And that's OK, I'm your Soldier and I'm robust to begin with. But Cloud... Cloud's something different. His relationship with you is different."
Sephiroth stared at the blotter on his desk with his chin in his palm. He knew Zack was right, even if he didn't like it. He knew the reason he had precious few people close to him was only partly intentional. True, he was of the opinion that 90 percent of the world was made of insufferable idiots, but the other 10 percent tended to avoid him as well. Because he lacked some of the skills needed to participate in a normal relationship. He read body language extremely well where it indicated physical actions – attack, flight, approach with harmless intent, approach with hostility, that kind of thing. He supposed that was because he had most of his social training in adversarial relationships, either during the war or under Hojo's thumb in the lab. But he was piss-poor at identifying many emotional states. Particularly friendly ones, and so he often made the wrong comment or did the wrong thing.
Sephiroth recalled with discouragement the latest article ShinRa had foisted on all their executives in the name of "professional improvement". It covered a study on mapping of neural networks, how there was an innate mirroring in the brain in one human upon observing a facial expression in another. This mimicking supposedly allowed the observer to almost feel the same emotion, thereby opening the path to empathy and improved social interaction. Sephiroth was pretty sure he lacked this. Maybe it was because of improper development during his formative years. Maybe his brain was just plain different.
"All I'm saying is that maybe you should talk to him about it beforehand, before you blurt out one of those... things that you do that make a guy feel hopelessly bad about himself."
"Speaking of statements that make a guy feel hopelessly bad about himself..." Sephiroth shut his eyes and rubbed his face with both hands. He hated feeling that he might hurt Cloud in that way.
"Hey, you know I don't like saying this. And I don't want to upset you. But I'm just worried, for Cloud, and for you. You and I have been through a lot together, and nothing you say or do is going to change the way I feel about you. I just want Cloud to have the chance to get to that point."
"I have to go to a meeting." Sephiroth stood up and opened his office door. The whole idea of trying to explain himself to Cloud before he had even had a chance to screw things up gave him a headache. "If you're such a godamn expert on me why don't you give him lessons." He let the door slam behind him.
Zack sat alone in his commander's office and thought. Sephiroth lessons. Not such a bad idea.
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Cloud eyed the lunch offering at the cafeteria unhappily. He wasn't enjoying his day very much. Normally he didn't enjoy this day, but this time it was particularly depressing.
"Hey, Spikeyhead, come to lunch with me."
Cloud brightened a bit at the sound of Zack's chipper voice, and the Soldier immediately slung an arm around his shoulder and steered him out of the cafeteria without waiting for a reply. That was another good thing about Zack; he never gave a guy a chance to refuse cheering up.
They left the ShinRa complex with Zack relating a humorous story about one of the practice sticks busting on him while he was demonstrating a choke hold on a Third Class trainee. These sticks were normally pretty tough, two feet long and at least an inch in diameter.
"Serious," Zack laughed, "it just snapped in two with kind of a soggy crackle even though I hadn't any force on it. Must have rotted or something, but it looked like I had just cranked the thing over Marshall's throat, and the bugger went limp in my arms pretending I'd killed him. I started to laugh and dropped him and they all thought I was some sort of maniac."
He laughed again at the thought of it, and Cloud even managed a chuckle. But Zack could tell the blonde's mood was not good. He looked at him close across the table of the small Wutaiese restaurant he'd chosen. He meant to start in with a Sephiroth lesson, but it seemed hardly the time to bring up the oddities of Cloud's new lover and how, 'oh, by the way, he's probably going to say and do things to hurt you, here's a few tips on how to handle that'. So while they were served and ate Zack talked about other things he found entertaining about his day (Zack always found something entertaining even in a very average day) and worked to draw Cloud out of whatever shell he was in. But nothing he hit on seemed to be the source of the kid's funk, not classes, not friends, not homestuff, and he was unfortunately left with only one thing left to ask about. Sephiroth.
"Zack, will you take me out tonight?"
The question was so unexpected that Zack for a moment could only stare. It wasn't like Cloud to ask something like that.
"Just for a few beers or something?"
"Sure, Cloud, wherever you want. What's the occasion?"
"It's my birthday."
"Oh. OH hey! Happy Birthday, then! You're seventeen?"
Cloud nodded, smiling a little. Zack was infectious like a virus. But then Zack frowned, puzzled.
"Wouldn't you rather be spending tonight with Seph?"
Cloud looked down and stirred his food. "He doesn't want to see me tonight."
Zack's frown deepened. "Why?"
"I suppose he's busy or got some problem, I don't know." Cloud stabbed a piece of meat.
"Spike, how do you know he doesn't want to see you?"
"He told me. Last night."
Zack rubbed his fingers through his hair and squinted. He was too late, Sephiroth had already done it.
"Say Cloud," he said gently, "part of the reason I wanted to see you today was that I wanted to talk about Sephiroth. To tell you some of the things that I've figured out that help me deal with him, with his quirks. He has a few, you know."
Cloud snorted, still attacking his food without eating it.
"You know he doesn't understand a lot of things about people and relationships, right?"
"I've noticed," Cloud said.
"What you may not have figured out is some of the things he does to try and compensate for that, because he hides it. And he's a pretty good faker. But when he's stumped as to what's happening or what's the right thing to do, he just guesses. And often his guesses are way off the mark, I mean just plain stupid. He knows this, so he 'tests' the guesses. He gets this stony mask on his face, and he studies his victim intensely, and then says something, or asks something, and it's usually offensive or inappropriate and often hurtful. He doesn't mean it to be hurtful, but he almost always gets the tone in his voice all wrong... It works out OK for subordinates in the military structure, but it's hell on personal interactions.
The only way through this when it happens to you is to shove aside your anger or hurt or whatever it is you're feeling and try to analyze objectively what he said. Figure out if he's got a question under there and try to get that cleared up right then and there before things get all out of hand.
Cloud, what exactly did he say to you last night?"
Cloud shook his head. "I don't remember exactly."
"Because it hurt? Cut you to the quick?"
Cloud nodded, his eyes now a little wet.
"How did he look when he said it?"
Cloud remembered that. He remembered because it had frightened him a little. Sephiroth had been utterly cold; his intense, no-nonsense stare leaving Cloud feeling like there was no room to argue. He looked up at Zack, unable to keep the hopeful feeling from sparking in his chest.
"Look, he does have problems with things like birthdays, and maybe he's just uncomfortable, but I'd bet money that he wants to be with you and he just didn't know if that was right. That he was actually trying to do was ask you if he could. Here," Zack dropped a twenty gil note on the table and motioned Cloud to get up. "We can just catch him. You're going to go up to Seph and tell him that your understanding from last night is that he does not want to see you, and that it is your desire is to see him. Ask him if you've misunderstood. Might be good to let him know this hurt you as well."
Cloud shook his head furiously "I don't think I can do that, Zack."
"Listen to me Cloud, you want to be with this guy you've got to be a little braver than that. You have to talk straight up because he doesn't catch on to subtlety. You gotta be willing to have a bit of a thick skin sometimes and a hell of a lot of patience. You think he doesn't deserve that? You better, or I'm not helping you anymore. I'll be doing my best to get you out of his life."
"No, Zack, no. He does deserve it. You'll take me up to see him?"
Zack smiled and hugged the boy with one arm, nearly lifting him off his feet as they walked back to the building. He didn't let go of him until they got up to the officer's floor and he led Cloud to Sephiroth's office. Zack knocked on the frame of the open door.
"What is it, Zack?" Sephiroth growled, barely looking up.
"Cranky, cranky, and to think I brought you something." Zack pulled Cloud from around behind him and gave him a small shove into the office and pulled the door closed.
Cloud stood in front of the General's desk, blushing in embarrassment.
"Cloud?" Sephiroth got up and came around his desk. "Is there something wrong?"
Cloud looked around for a few moments, taking in his unfamiliar surrounding, coaxing himself to be brave, straightforward, patient. The things Sephiroth deserved of him.
"It's my understanding that you do not want to see me tonight."
The surprise on Sephiroth's face was all he needed to know he had gotten that part wrong. Really wrong.
"That's not what I said, Cloud."
"It's what I heard."
Sephiroth reached out and stroked Cloud's hair. "I don't remember exactly what I said. But clearly I miscommunicated. I don't celebrate a birthday myself, but I realize it's important to other people. I figured you would want to spend this day with your friends."
"I didn't tell any of them. Because I wanted to spend tonight with you."
A slow smile spread across Sephiroth's face. He gave Cloud a single, chaste kiss. "What do you want for your birthday? Can I take you somewhere?"
"I wanna go to a movie!" Cloud said suddenly. "And eat popcorn. I haven't been to a movie in about a year. And I want pizza. And I want..." He flushed a little. "I want to be with you."
Sephiroth smiled. He knew exactly where they should go tonight, and where they would end up. He kissed Cloud again, passionately this time, and when someone knocked on his door he merely reached over and pushed the button for the lock.
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Later that night Sephiroth brought a full, popular entertainment satiated, and slightly inebriated Cloud up one of the side elevators in the main ShinRa tower. Cloud was under his arm and happily nuzzling into his side, moving his head around in a way that always captivated Sephiroth. He tightened his grip as they walked down the hallway to his quarters. Normally he didn't hold Cloud in public places, not because he was embarrassed by his association with the cadet; far from it. But Cloud was so young, and Sephiroth didn't know if Cloud would want to continue their relationship after the donation period. Maybe he would want to move on, and if so he didn't need the label of the General's catamite following him around for the rest of his career. A slow sadness threatened to take over Sephiroth's mind at these thoughts, but he forced it aside. No sense in ruining the time he had. Cloud was here now and he should appreciate and make the most of that.
They met only one person, as luck would have it Sephiroth's neighbor was leaving just as they were arriving. The dark haired man glanced quickly at Cloud and nodded to Sephiroth.
"General," he said curtly.
"Commander," Sephiroth replied with equal brevity. He had an adversarial relationship with the man professionally and his orientation as a neighbor was no different.
"Who was that?" Cloud asked once they were inside.
"Tseng. Turk commander. Stay away from Turks; their loyalties are not honorably based and so they can't be trusted."
Cloud nodded. Nothing he had heard about Turks motivated him to start hanging out with them anyhow. He removed his boots and put them in their home away from home next to the door. Then he casually stripped off all of his clothes as he walked, dropping them like a bread crumb trail as he went. Sephiroth watched Cloud's naked form walk comfortably down his hallway, more than a little surprised. The boy had never done anything like that before. His smooth, rounded backside disappeared into the bedroom and Sephiroth followed.
Cloud wasn't in the bedroom, but the sound of running water came out of the bath. Not the shower, the sound was far too large and throaty. After a moment of confusion he identified that as his tub, the tub he hardly ever used and had rather forgotten about. But the thought of Cloud floating in there naked as a jaybird suddenly renewed his interest in the thing.
Sephiroth found Cloud seated on the tiled edge of the big tub, leaning over and trailing his fingers in the water. He leaned over and kissed Cloud persistently on the neck until Cloud presented his lips for him. After a long, slow kiss he retreated and looked at Cloud's easy smile.
"Cloud, you are the most relaxed guy I've ever seen on three beers."
The smile widened. "Well I don't hold it well."
"You're perfect," Sephiroth said, and kissed him again. Then he rummaged around in a cabinet and found tub products. Two of them were sudsy. He wasn't particularly interested in sudsy, seems the suds would obscure some rather nice visuals. The third one promised to be clear, slick, and moisturizing. He gave it a sniff. Spicy. Masculine. Pleasing. He dumped the whole bottle in. Cloud seemed to like it; he inhaled deeply and stretched upwards.
The sight of all that pale skin as Cloud stretched was a little too much for Sephiroth and he pulled Cloud up and held him there in his arms. Sephiroth was completely clothed and Cloud utterly nude, a condition which heightened his excitement. He slid his hands around every inch of Cloud's body, Cloud easily moving with his touch and clearly enjoying himself. Cloud had always been an agreeable partner, but he'd never been so physically pliant before. The boy leaned back and let his head drop behind him, completely suspended by one of Sephiroth's arms behind his back. Sephiroth marveled at the trust he displayed, his nudity, his bared throat, the fact that if Sephiroth so much as slipped his grip Cloud would fall and crack the back of his head on the tile.
But Sephiroth wouldn't slip. If Cloud had weighed three times what he did the General would have no problem holding him. He let his free hand lightly caress Cloud's throat, then down his chest. When Cloud brought his head up he was smiling slightly, the color from the blood that had run to his head still filled his cheeks. But what caught Sephiroth's attention was his eyes. They held a peculiar relaxed expression, the pupils were far too big for the light level, and they were riveted on his own. He didn't know what this expression meant, but he knew he liked it.
"I should give you alcohol more often," he said.
"It's not the alcohol," Cloud replied, and brought himself all the way up to kiss the older man.
Cloud knew what had really induced this state. Sephiroth had been with him for hours. In public. Eating, laughing, putting his arm around him at the movie and whispering things in his ear. It hadn't been ShinRa people around them, but then there was that guy at the door, the Turk commander. Some bigwig. And Sephiroth hadn't shown the least concern over being the way he was with Cloud. He had pulled Cloud protectively toward him rather than trying to separate. Cloud had never been more in love with him than at this moment.
"In you go," Sephiroth said, seeing the tub was almost full. He gently pushed Cloud backwards and dropped him into the water.
Cloud's grin widened at the feel of the warm water swirling around his body. He rolled over a few times imagining he was a fish, then sat at the far side to watch Sephiroth undo the buttons on his cuffs. That was another thing; the General had dressed for tonight in something other than black. He had an actual buttoned shirt on of a deep royal blue. The color was stunning on him. And dress pants rather than leather or military fatigues. Cloud didn't even own a buttoned shirt or real pants, not like there was room in his trunk for such things anyhow, and he smiled when he remembered how Sephiroth had responded to his worry about his attire. 'You could never be underdressed with me Cloud.' It had been funny, suggestive, and sincere all at the same time.
It occurred to Cloud he could get some more mileage out of these clothes. "Undress slowly," he said, "Please? For me?"
Sephiroth gave him a quizzical look.
"It is my birthday," Cloud said, failing to keep his voice completely free of petulance.
"So it is," Sephiroth said, and smiled. He undid the buttons down the front of his shirt with one hand, and when he had gotten them all and bared a wide strip of skin down the front of his torso he pushed the collar softly back over his shoulders. Gravity slowly pulled the fabric down his arms, eventually exposing well muscled triceps, until he straightened his elbows and let it slip over his forearms. It fell to the floor in a graceful pile.
Then Sephiroth smoothly undid his belt, again one handed, and leisurely pulled it free, straight away from his body in a phallic gesture. It joined his shirt on the floor where it lay slightly coiled like a snake. Then he unbuttoned his pants and with exaggerated slowness pulled the zipper down. He let gravity again expose parts of his skin, inch by inch. He heard Cloud suck in his breath, probably for realizing he had nothing on underneath. Sephiroth smiled. Clouds eyes were fixed on his hips, occasionally running up and down his torso. It was like the kid had never seen him undress before. Well maybe not like this.
Of course his pants halted their journey downward, unable to clear his pressing erection. Sephiroth brought one finger to the point where they hung up and slowly pushed them free, exposing more and more of his organ until it sprang upwards, sending his pants all the way to the floor.
He stepped free of the last bit of his clothing and approached the tub. But Cloud came forward and placed his hands on each side of Sephiroth's hips, preventing him from coming in. The blonde looked up and waited for Sephiroth to put his hands to his face. Cloud knew he would; Sephiroth didn't seem to be able to keep himself from touching his face, or his blond hair, or the back of his neck.
"I want to suck on you." Cloud said, sounding a little nervous.
Sephiroth smiled. "OK, birthday boy." As if he was going to object to that. Cloud had done this before and Sephiroth was unsure why the boy should be anxious over it or feel he needed to ask. Plus he was good at it, immediately without any coaching he had been good at it. Men usually were, even ones as young as Cloud. Girls, unless they were pros, he had to always keep prompting. More suction, more pressure...
Sephiroth's mind flew off to nowhere land as he felt Cloud's lips, and then his hot, wet, mouth engulf him. He watched those beautiful cheeks, alternatively full then hollowed as Cloud's head moved to and from Sephiroth's hips. Both Clouds hands slid slowly back until all eight of his fingertips brushed the cleft between Sephiroth's glutes. This part he had taught the kid, and glad he was about it. Cloud slipped one wet finger into that entrance and easily found the pleasure point. He pressed with his finger and suctioned out at the same time. Sephiroth groaned and was sure he felt Cloud smile a little. Cloud increased his rhythm. He had a good sense of where Sephiroth liked it and within a few strokes Sephiroth was pushing his head away from him.
"Enough," he said gently.
"I want to taste you. I never get to."
Sephiroth considered. It was true, since mako transfer had always been part of their goal. But there was no way he could argue with Cloud if he was going to beg like that. He nodded and Cloud happily went back to work. Sephiroth kept his hands on both sides of Cloud's head, occasionally pushing his head one way or the other so he could watch the mesmerizing spectacle of his phallus disappearing and reappearing from those soft, young lips. Then he began to pant and desperately tried to remind himself with what little mind he had left not to pull at the last moment, not to pull on Cloud's head and gag him...
"OH, Cloud, CLOUD!" Sephiroth's powerful abdominals jerked on him, but he managed to hold himself steady and prevent himself from pulling Cloud forward as well. He had however fisted up the blond hair in the back of Cloud's head and had pulled his hair pretty hard. And Cloud gave one jerk as well. A small gag. Maybe the shot hitting the back of his throat; that was hard to avoid.
But now Cloud was swallowing and looking up at him with that same happy face he had worn all evening. Sephiroth bent down and kissed him, tasting his own fluid in Cloud's mouth.
"Can I get in now?" he asked.
Cloud nodded and Sephiroth let himself fall in with a splash that sent water onto the tiled floor. Cloud laughed and they both squirmed around in the massive tub, letting their bodies slide past one another. Sephiroth made a mental note to use the tub more. And to get more of that slippery tub additive, whatever that was. Cloud really seemed to be particularly enjoying the water. Sephiroth reached over to the controls and hit the button for the jets. Cloud looked around, then put his back against one of the jet stations. His face went immediately blank. Sephiroth peered at him, the feeling from the jet had absorbed Cloud's attention completely.
"Cloud, are you sore?"
"Hn mm, I'm always sore somewhere."
"Your back?"
"Today, everything."
Sephiroth clucked his tongue and slid over by Cloud. He gave the top of his thigh a hard kneading squeeze.
"uuuugh" Cloud made a noise and shut his eyes. Sephiroth did the same to one of his shoulders, his forearm, and calf. No place failed to produce a reaction.
"Cloud, why didn't you say something?"
"I don't know. I guess when you're sore all the time you just get used to it."
"Hmm. Come here. I haven't rubbed your back since our first couple of days. It seems I've been neglecting you."
"If you say so," Cloud floated over to Sephiroth and put himself in the General's strong hands. Sephiroth rubbed every inch of his back, seeking out and rubbing flat knots and tension, then did the same for every other piece of his body. He ended up with Cloud's feet in his lap, rubbing the arch and the muscles under the ball and heel.
"Thank-you," Cloud said, eyes half lidded.
Sephiroth smiled. Cloud was beyond relaxed now. He ran one hand up to Cloud's groin, the flesh there soft and sponge like.
"You want to just sleep for awhile?" he asked.
"No," Cloud said, jerking himself awake a bit. "I want... I want... I'm too embarrassed to say what I want." He laughed.
Sephiroth hit the lever for the drain and pulled Cloud up out of the water. He put his lips close to the young man's ear.
"Well I want to move you to the bed and fuck you," he whispered.
Cloud nodded, laughing again. "Yeah, that's what I wanted." Cloud let himself be toweled off and half pushed, half carried to the bed where he was set down on his back. Sephiroth leaned over him, caressing his thighs and noticing with satisfaction that Cloud's erection had sprung back to life.
"This is my favorite way to have you," Sephiroth said.
"Mine too." Cloud put one hand around the back of Sephiroth's neck and pulled him down for a kiss. They let their kiss linger, and Cloud retrieved the lubricant off the small table. It never even made it into the drawer anymore. Sephiroth smiled as Cloud served himself and then handed him the bottle.
"You're ready?" Sephiroth asked.
"I've been ready all evening." Cloud cast him that look again, that soft, wide pupil look. Sephiroth lubed and entered, and Cloud gave a sigh that sounded like relief. They both stroked slowly at first, more interested in the others rhythm than their own, staring in wonder into each other's eyes and using their free hand to caress each other's face. Almost reluctantly they moved on, each to his own rhythm and need, until they climaxed almost simultaneously and fell together. Slowly they rolled to be side by side, their legs entangled, not bothering to clean up.
With his cheek resting against the pillow Cloud stared into Sephiroth's eyes, letting himself trace the odd shape of the pupil, to sink into those bright greens that seemed to move and shift in the iris. Then, inexplicably, they were closed off to him. Nothing overt had changed; but somehow Sephiroth's eyes and face and lips had become cold; distant.
"What's wrong?" Cloud asked.
"Nothing," a faint smile crossed Sephiroth's mouth, but it too remained cold, emotionless. "Everything's perfect. You're shining."
It took Cloud a moment to understand what he was saying, then his heart jumped. Shining! His eyes were shining! He looked at Sephiroth open mouthed.
"Go look." Sephiroth motioned towards the bathroom.
Cloud kicked his feet free from the sheets and darted to the big mirrors. He stared at his own reflection – sure enough, his baby blues had a faint but unmistakable new bright cast to them. Sephiroth came up behind him and grabbed his dressing gown off the door hook and belted it around his waist. Cloud looked from the mirror, to Sephiroth, and back again. He couldn't keep his eyes off his own reflection; this was what he had wanted for so long. The shine of the Soldier. He looked at Sephiroth again, wondering why the older man wasn't excited for him. In fact he couldn't read anything on Sephiroth at all; he looked the way he always did around everyone else. He looked like... the General.
Gaia, no. Clouds heart thudded to the bottom of his stomach before Sephiroth even spoke.
"Your level is at about 100, you should be able to tolerate the processed mako through injection now. You don't have to come here any more, cadet."
The world swam in front of Clouds eyes. It was over? He always worried in the back of his mind that it would be someday, Anthony had told him again and again that it would be, warned him not to get attached. But right now Cloud would have gladly traded his new shiners to live forever in the last few weeks. Sephiroth was everything he wanted about Soldier, the reason he wanted to be in Soldier in the first place. To be so close to him and then have that yanked away, especially after the evening they just spent... he felt ill. He looked up at his General and willed himself not to cry, not to even let his eyes water. He pushed all of his hurt and anger deep down under the same rock in his stomach where he buried physical pain from training or fighting. And he looked at the man. Sephiroth was studying him, studying him intently.
Studying him.
He's guessing the thought came with a hint of Zack's voice attached. Cloud's mind raced back to Zack's words at lunch. Sephiroth had just said something that hurt him to the quick – check. His face a stony mask – check. He was studying Cloud for a reaction – check. So what was he guessing about? Since Cloud had already pushed his hurt aside he moved on to the logical examination of the hurtful comment. You don't have to come here anymore. He actually hadn't told him not to. He hadn't ordered him away. That part was Cloud's interpretation. And suddenly he knew what the question behind the hurtful statement was.
He put both his palms forward and shoved Sephiroth as hard as he could on the chest. Far from defending Sephiroth actually tottered backwards a step in surprise.
"Do you think that's why I come here?" Cloud asked, his voice trembling, partly with hope, partly in anger, partly in fear because he had technically just attacked the General.
Sephiroth's face broke into an unorganized state of confusion. His eyebrows rose as he looked from one corner of the room, than the other. "May... be?"
Cloud grabbed Sephiroth on each side of the head and kissed him. Sephiroth immediately returned the kiss with increased ardor, his arms wrapping tightly around Cloud's back. He moved his mouth to place small, desperate kisses along Clouds face and neck.
"Are you mine? Are you really mine?" He whispered in Cloud's ear.
"I've always been yours," Cloud said, astounded that the man could think otherwise. How could Sephiroth have missed that? It was absurd. Zack had been right, exactly right, Sephiroth didn't read people properly. Didn't view things the same way as everyone else. This was part of his strangeness that required patience. And there was something else Zack had advised him to do.
"That hurt, you know."
Sephiroth winced. "I don't mean to hurt you. I was trying to not hurt you."
"Well this was twice in two days you've given me the impression you didn't want me. I almost left. Maybe you shouldn't try so hard not to hurt me. I think it's not working for you."
"You sound like Zack."
"Zack gave me some help here."
Sephiroth looked at him in surprise. He had told Zack to give Cloud lessons, but he hadn't been serious. But if was true that Cloud was on the verge of leaving and he had Zack to thank for him staying then he was just going to have to go with it and be grateful. He squeezed Cloud hard, lifting him off the ground slightly.
"Let me see those again," Sephiroth took Clouds face in his hands and peered into his eyes with excitement. Now he was smiling and running his thumbs on Cloud's cheeks.
Cloud managed a smile, this is where they should have been three minutes ago. He was amazed that three minutes could leave him feeling so drained and kind of abused. But he had survived it. To think he had been so close to walking out and never approaching the General again.
"These are going to be beautiful," Sephiroth said, still excited, "You know, we think organic transfer can bring the recipient up to 75 percent of the donor's level. My level doesn't really register properly on the test, but whatever I've got it's high. It might be that I can bring you all the way up to your natural stabilization point without you ever having to go to the lab."
"I don't want to go to the lab."
"I don't ever want you in the lab. I love you, Cloud. And I have never been in love before."
Cloud stared, swallowed, and almost forgot to say the thing that had been on his mind since his first time with the man. That had been on his mind most acutely tonight. The thing that he never said for fear of being ridiculous, for fear of being rejected.
"I love you too, Seph."
Their next kiss was tender, blossoming under their shared admissions that still hung in the air and the final opening of their hearts. Engrossed in the kiss, Cloud barely noticed that he had been moved back to the bed. He slipped the silken robe off of Sephiroth, then with arms and legs wrapped around him pulled as hard as he could and rolled the bigger man to the other side of the bed.
Sephiroth laughed. The kid had some good moves, plus some strength coming on. "Are you ever going to be fun when you get to First Class" he teased.
Cloud smiled, a little mischievous. "I'm not fun now?"
"Vixen. You know you are."
Cloud took a few more aggressive tumbles on the bed, knowing that he was going to miss curfew and not caring in the least.
And in the back of his mind he formed a little silent prayer of good will.
Thanks, Zack.
A/N: I'm reading, rather slowly, Daniel Goleman's book Social Intelligence, where he reviews experiments with electrodes in the brains of humans and animals that show the mirroring of neural patterns that may be the mechanism for empathy and emotional understanding between individuals. It amused me to think that Sephiroth, with his Jenova genes, might not have that ability if the alien species Jenova belongs to is telepathic. They wouldn't need this mechanism if they had direct brain linkage.