The next day, John calls and says he's sorry he and Jade left so early, and invites you to his house for movies and pizza (and cheap liquor, though it had gotten to the point that it was one of the things you didn't need to mention, you both knew it would be there. Along with Doritos and Cake for you, since John's dad still sends cake over, even though he moved out almost a year ago.) You're nervous. You ask your brother if you should feed before going to Johns, and he says it would be a good idea, since today is the day you may want to feed, and you would be alone with John for hours.
He makes you wait until you're about to leave for John's. By this point you consider locking yourself in your room to stop yourself. It starts out as a tolerable ache, and soon progresses to general pain, in your throat, stomach, everywhere. Though it's nowhere near as bad as when you were laying on that metal table in the morgue, its pain none-the-less. Temptation pulls you. You even glance at Bro a few times, despite being put off slightly by the scent of his blood and repulsed by the thought of feeding from him, you wonder if you could get a taste before he kicks your ass. You cringe in disgust and decide it's not worth it. So, before you and your Bro leave (you refuse to walk anywhere alone.) to make it to John's for eight, He pulls out a blood packet and makes you wait in the living room while he prepares it.
Your throat hurts. You hurt. Everywhere, the thirst is clawing through you when Bro leaves you in the living room. The smell of warm blood drifts through the door and you find yourself ridged and twitching, incisors suddenly much longer than a human would need them to be. You're going to lose your shit. This is the first time you've experienced this and it solidifies all too well that you aren't human, and Kanaya wasn't joking. He hands you a sports bottle filled with what you need. He gives you privacy.
You actually groan when you take your first sip. It was water in the vast desert, and salvation from the pain you had dealt with. But it didn't feel quite right. There was nothing to sink your teeth into, you even contemplate biting the bottles sides. It's a disturbing impulse, but you can repress it easily enough. You wash the bottle out, and use mouth wash to try and get rid of the blood-smell your breath has taken on. Turns out your gums are bleeding. It must have been the first quick retraction of your apparent fangs. You barely notice when they come and go, as they feel as natural as your normal teeth, so you make sure to double check that you're dentally acceptable before going to find your brother. When you return to the living room, your Bro is already there. You distantly think maybe you heard him move around the apartment, but with your habit of blocking your newly heightened senses you can't be sure. (It's a habit you barely noticed you picked up. You also send a mental apology to Kanaya for ignoring her advice to stay indoors for the next few weeks.)
He twirls his keys around his finger. "Done? Good. Let's go."
You arrive one minute before eight, and thank your Bro, telling him you'll keep him updated and to pick you up when you call him, since you don't know how long you will be watching a movie or whatever. John had originally asked you to stay the night, you refused as politely as you could. He greets you at his door, and you smile at him. Despite the barrage of scents leaking from the door. You think you can smell the dust in the carpet, and the cleaner he uses.
He orders two pizzas, and when they arrive you have to stop yourself from puking. They smell horrible. It's a heart-breaking discovery. Your once beloved pizza is now a disgusting pile of grease. "So, what do you wanna watch man? Anything you want, this is to cheer you up!" you pick Pirates of the Caribbean, Curse of the Black Pearl. Because even the saddest of pizza related discoveries cannot compare to the wonder that is Captain Jack Sparrow. He asks and offers food and drink, many times, eventually showing concern for the fact he hasn't seen you eat anything since you got out of hospital, and you feel obligated to drink and eat at least something. You can't take those sad eyes on you any longer.
You feel sick. Those slices of pizza and vodka-coke tasted horrible. You have made a mistake.
You feel dizzy, the movie is almost finished, and you and John are huddled together in blankets and silence. He lays himself over your lap, and you sit normally, a hand in his hair, and your body trembling. Were the lights on, he would see how sick you look. He's fallen asleep on you. You move his head silently and with great care, tucking him in with surrounding pillows and cushions. You notice your improved night-vision. Yes, this is a good power. Your head spins and the impending urge to vomit makes your head spin and dead stomach lurch. You feel weak, and your senses have dulled. All apart from your eyes, which seem sharper, even behind your shades, in the darkness. You feel like you're going to be sick at any second, like a ticking time bomb of vomit. Can you vomit? Probably.
You write John a quick note before leaving, on the notepad you know he keeps on his kitchen counter-top.
Dear John.
You fell asleep dumbass. Bro arrived and I couldn't bring myself to wake you up. Sleep well nerd. I'll talk to you in the morning. Thanks for inviting me over, and thanks for the booze.
-Dave.
Your brother does notice, when he picks you up, he points out that you look even deader than you did previously. You know he's worried. You can tell that nagging voice of his thoughts ponders if he is about to lose you again. "Dave what the fuck." You shake your head. "Drive. Quickly." He says nothing, but does as you say. You run to the door, you're through it in less than a second. The world is spinning, spinning, too fast…
You're by the toilet in a blur of supernatural flash-stepping, the world spinning still, your eyes and mind unable to keep up with your speed. Throwing your shades to the floor, you vomit into the toilet bowl with sickening sounds and a ghastly smell. It makes you puke again.
Blood. Vodka, coke and pizza. More blood. You're shaking.
Bro kneels next to you, he rubs your back in a confused silence, waiting for it to end. You feel like the two of you bond in that silence. A silent comradery where he helps you stave off the aches and pains and the ravenous thirst you find revisits you. You just fed. And although you are sure you could drink blood forever and never feel completely thirst-free, you had felt as normal as you had since before all this shit went down. Now you feel like you did before you fed at all. You blame the red blossoming in the toilet water, vomit and bile. You retch, with nothing left to throw up in retribution for your stupidity. Your body forces you to dry heave long after your initial vomiting session.
Since you died, Your Bro's been softer on you, no puppet attacks or strife's, and part of you misses it. But honestly, having him take care of you is what you need right now. You make a choking noise and lay your head on your arm, laid carefully on the seat of the toilet. Seemingly done, but either unwilling or unable to get up from the bathroom floor. Bro calls Kanaya.
She's there. Stroking your hair as you lay on her lap. Her motherly tendencies showing. She hums softly, and you wish you could fall asleep, but something keeps you awake. Thirst. You think of the blood you threw up. A vampire that just threw up blood can't be a good thing. "Dave, you're going to need to feed again, okay? Can you move?" you blink slowly, the lack of shades making everything far too bright. Kanaya looks down at you after asking this, and you frown. Can you?
You try.
Nope, can't do shit.
Again.
Ugh.
"Alright. Do you want to wait?" you shake your head violently. You look over to bro again and whine.
You're put off by his blood. Probably because you're related, making his blood genetically similar to your own, which you can't drink at all. But a little incision in the wrist maybe…because he's still human. You could still feed on him perfectly fine, you think. Probably.
No. he'd kick your ass. You just know it. (Though you think if it were a more serious need he would offer. He seems like he would be the heroic type.) Kanaya's out of the question, but damn do you want to feed off of someone who isn't related to you or a vampire. You hate yourself for wanting such a thing, but a starving vampire has his needs. You'll feel the guilt later.
"Maybe we should try him feeding on an actual person, what if these packs aren't working?" Bro asks, worry evident, and Kanaya shakes her head. "Until he finds a consenting blood partner he has too, he's only this Ill because he ate human food, which by the way, was incredibly stupid. Any time you eat human food, this will happen, I thought you not eating was common sense?" she scolds you, but you can't bring yourself to care too much. "I had too. John doesn't know, and he offered…" you find it sounds like a far more pathetic excuse aloud than it does mentally. But his eyes had begged you, begged you to eat, to show him that you were recovering, that you weren't starving yourself for a reason you haven't told him. You know he was just worried. Kanaya sighs and shakes her head, combing her fingers through your hair still.
"Then you must tell him, He may be able to protect you, and cater to your needs, maybe someone will volunteer as a blood donor." You can't imagine they would. "Fine, tomorrow." You mumble.
You decide you like your hair being played with.
You didn't worry about Rose fearing you. Rose is as bad-ass as you and more terrifying than you will ever hope to be. But John. John is a different case. John. John might be scared of you. Or just think you're mad. Because if you didn't go through what you did, and your Bro hadn't felt that lack of life in your animate body, you would think it was madness as well. Hell, you can feel how dead you are, especially now. So hollow and empty and dead. You think vampires crave blood to give them a moment of euphoria, whether simple, sexual or simply a feeling of pure contentment. A blissful second where they are alive again.
"Fine, Tomorrow. Do tell me how it goes." You nod against her thigh. "Now, his feeding. Do I get another packet out?" Kanaya nods to the source of the question, your Bro. "I'll explain blood partnerships while I'm here, should you wish to enter one with one of your friends." Kanaya is calm as the scent drifts through, but you keep fidgeting and occasionally letting loose a frustrated growl, without your consent, earning a light slap to the hair she was messing with. It doesn't hurt, but you get the message. You find a low rumble resonating from your chest anyway, much lower and quieter than before. You know Kanaya hears you, but she does nothing about it. The sound scares you with how inhuman it is. You try not to think about it.
Bro brings the cup through. You suddenly decide sitting up and drinking that is the best idea ever. Your mind screeches for you to drink it all as fast as you can, and you feel a short burst of desperate energy pushing you onward. It's gone in seconds. You have your moment of lively euphoria, vivid and fleeting. Blood around your mouth and lighting up your eyes, Bro seems to tense when he sees you like this, a monster, certainly not the Dave he knew. You would think he was scared if you didn't know your Bro better. You aren't sure if there is much he's afraid of, other than losing you. You know that scares him, you think he would sooner face his own death, which in turn scares you. You collapse back onto the couch, and curl up to Kanaya, the sickness ebbing away and you're craving satisfied for now. The shame and guilt begin to creep in again.
Monster.
"Now, blood partnerships. A bond of high intimacy between a living being, commonly humans, and a vampire. Normally lovers, partners or close friends. They consent to having their blood drank whenever the vampire needs on the condition they aren't killed and are allowed a rest period. This is an incredibly intimate place for someone to have in your life, as they have the power both to build you up and take you down. Which is why I urge you to tell your friends, it's a role family would find quite difficult to fill." Amen to that. If it's that intimate then family would be a no-no anyway.
"This normally leads to marking, mating or both. Marking being injecting a chemical causing the, I'm assuming human, you mark, to emit a pheromone that is a mix of the humans and your scents, called being "scented", these wear off after three or four days, If you haven't properly mated, but while active they tell other vampires that the human is claimed, and it against our laws to bite a claimed human, unless a previous arrangement has been met, or the human has more than one vampire partner." You listen, and can practically feel Bro's concentration from where you are. He really cares, he wants to know more about what has happened to you and your people, and it makes you glad you have a brother to stand by you.
Wow that was cheesy as fuck. Never again.
"So, I am proposing one of your friends take this place." She finishes, and you consider this option. "Not Rose." You say, and Bro agrees. "Rose?" "My sister. You'd like her." The comment was made offhandedly and Kanaya nods, you think she wants to say something, but she doesn't. "Jade and John then." Bro continues. "Meaning you have to tell them." He adds. You sigh for what feels like the hundredth time that evening. "I said I would tell John, that'll do bro." Bro scoffs. "I'm stuck with an eternal angsty young adult, how will I survive." You laugh. Your Bro's an idiot. Bro then turns serious. Never mind then.
"Imagine if you turn me, and I'm stuck with your whiny ass forever."
There are no words.
"Hope you like angsty bitching and eternal whining, Bro" he laughs, and you see Kanaya smile at your banter.
at long last. I literally forgot to update this I am so sorry