Disclaimer: not mine.

19 November 1998

By virtue of will, Narcissa continued to the library when Severus bid her farewell to take his appointment with the Dark Lord. By virtue of a lifetime's training, she did so without losing the facade of composure. As she strode through the aisles, the silk of her gown brushed against the spines of the books. Suggestion of a frown touched the skin on her forehead and she summoned an elf. She brushed away the dust that wasn't there and pulled a book from the shelf above her head without attention to the title.

"See that the library is cleaned."

It bowed before her and spoke words she didn't hear. She nodded absently and turned away, sweeping back through the doors perhaps just a bit too quickly.

She'd made it habit to read in one of the smaller drawing rooms while she waited for meetings to end. If asked, she would have said she loved the natural light from the windows and found conversation distasteful when voices echoed as a result of too much space. Truly, she preferred it more for reasons that she wouldn't have admitted to. The increase in violence wasn't restricted to Mudbloods and their supporters; it has escalated for the Death Eaters, too. By waiting here, she had subtly designated this to be the room that their associates retired to when their appointments concluded, and she had redecorated accordingly. The marble floors were easy enough to clean, but she found dark wood trim was more forgiving of bile and that black leather furniture didn't show a history of blood. She had donated several rooms to The Cause and she'd sacrificed this one too, but she'd be damned before the entirety of her home was savaged.

She sat delicately on the only chair that hadn't been tainted; it was her's and respected as such regardless of her presence in the room.. When she opened the book, she found it to be a study in the art of preserving flowers. Her one concession to her state of grace was to roll her eyes. The Malfoy rose garden was a sight that stole breath and inspired poetry; her circle of friends thought it to be her pride and joy. She did appreciate beauty and liked her flowers well enough. She maintained them with such care more for her image than as a passion, but even so, she preferred them alive to the not-quite dead state of preservation.

She didn't pace; she didn't tap her foot; she didn't click her nails against the arm of the chair. When the doors to this room opened, whoever entered would find a woman with her back straight and her ankles crossed, the picture of serenity enthralled with a book about flowers. Some days she merely sat and turned the pages, but today, the subject of her book was dull enough to let her mind wander while she read.

She wondered at what point during the years her training finally overrode the temptation to look up at the clock.

Some of Narcissa's earliest memories were of her mother and the hours they spent together. She hadn't known then how lucky she had been. It was unheard of for a Pureblood woman to feed or bathe her child, let alone take the time to entertain and educate them; these were menial duties performed by house elves and then private tutors, but Druella Black didn't care.

She had been enchanted by the idea of her first daughter long before Bellatrix was brought into the world. When Druella's own childhood caretaker had held out her wrinkled arms for the baby, she simply smiled and told the elf no.

The first time she appeared in public with little Bella in her arms, she shocked the wizarding community. She had always been striking but motherhood made her glow, and Bella was beautiful even then. Almost overnight the scandal turned into a trend and by the time Andromeda was born, only her aging elf was offended that she refused to pass the baby on.

Mothers aren't supposed to have favorites amongst their children and it shamed her that she did. She would have denied it if confronted, but Druella couldn't lie to herself. The world never knew about the two children that she'd lost between Andromeda and Narcissa; it was a loss that she spared her husband and one she never quite recovered from. Her Healer said it was nothing short of a miracle that she carried Narcissa as long as she did. It was another miracle that even three weeks premature, Narcissa thrived. For this reason, above all others, she held her last daughter closer to her heart than anything else on this side of the veil.

Some of Narcissa's fondest memories were of her mother and the hours they spent together.

She remembered sitting cross-legged on the charmed marble floor, waiting for her mother to join her after breakfast. When her mother had sat delicately on the floor with her, it was with her knees bent and her feet tucked together on the right side. Narcissa had hurried to imitate her.

"Already a lady, beloved. Do you want to learn more?"

Narcissa had looked up with stars in her eyes.

Druella pulled the ribbon from her daughter's hair and with a flick of her wand, transfigured it into a small chair.

"What color should it be? Blue?"

Narcissa giggled and shook her head.

"Pink. With sparkles!"

"Pink it is then, with diamonds."

Narcissa was exuberant and clapped her hands in glee when her chair was as she wished it to be.

Druella pulled the ribbon out of her own hair and transfigured a matching chair for herself. She rose from the floor with more grace than should have been allowed and offered her hands to pull her daughter up with her.

Narcissa's formal training started then. For hours that day and so many to follow, Narcissa learned to sit, stand, and walk like a lady.

The turn of the doorknob returned Narcissa to the present and the shuffle of footsteps told her that one person - a man - had intruded upon her privacy. It was only after she heard the click of the door shutting that she lifted her eyes from her book. She smiled and rose to greet Severus.

"Your attention to your surroundings leaves much to be desired, Cissa."

"I am surrounded by Malfoy Manor Severus. Between the centuries dedicated to the protection of the Manor and the wards that Lucius and I ourselves have set, to say nothing of our guest, I am quite sure there are not more secure surroundings anywhere in this world." She gestured grandly and turned a small circle so that the hem of her skirts flared out in a way that still delighted her.

"Point taken." He chuckled and crossed the room to take a seat on the leather sofa. Like Madam Pomfrey, Severus Snape was a different person for the Malfoys than he was for the rest of the world. Lucius and Narcissa were two of his first, two of his oldest, and two of his only friends - friends, at least as friendly as people could be when they fought on separate sides of the same war. He closed his eyes briefly to clear his thoughts. When he sat, he flinched slightly and took great care to stretch his muscles gently.

Narcissa took inventory of him as he took inventory of himself. When he finished quickly, she offered him a wry smile of relief at how well he had endured the Dark Lord's displeasure; they both knew it could have been so much worse. Her smile was fleeting though, and she moved to stand before the window. Behind closed doors in the company of a friend she loved like a brother, she took a risk and gambled with her life; she let go of the image she projected.

"I am afraid."

The change was dramatic, as though she were little more than a marionette whose strings had been cut. The proud set of her shoulders fell when she slumped. The purple under her eyes would have been lovely had it been painted on canvas instead of her skin. Her lips were pale from the strain it took her not to tremble and Severus could see the veins in her hands where her skin was stretched so tight it was nearly translucent. The energy it took to maintain such a glamour charm was astonishing, and the descent to her current state must have taken weeks. That had she maintained the glamour so long was nothing short of remarkable. That the need to maintain it would far exceed her physical capacity to do so chilled him to the core.

For a long moment he simply watched her and hated that suspicion scarred his mind far worse than any curse had scarred his body. If he could have chosen a sister it would have been Narcissa, but life had taught him that families could betray each other, too. He hadn't survived this long by trusting, and Severus wasn't ready to die before he'd had the chance to live.

"What is meant to happen, will," was all he had to offer. They were empty, overused words but he chose them carefully. If he were a man that still hoped for anything, he'd hope that he was seeing something that was there instead of something that he wanted to see. He'd hope that in being deliberately cryptic; she could understand that in those empty, overused words was a lifeline - the only one he could throw. He'd hope - but the hopes he didn't have were so convoluted and abstract the words got tangled inside his own head, and he didn't know what he'd hope for if he were a man that hoped at all. Hope was for fools and children and a few of the lucky ones - he was none of these.

"I wonder-"

"Don't." He was brusque.

She looked at him searchingly but he didn't meet her gaze. Instead he looked beyond her, out the window she had chosen.

The view really was magnificent.

Hello, Narcissa :) We will be seeing more of her as this story progresses. I'm rather liking playing in her head, too.

If you're confused about Severus' thoughts about hope, you're supposed to be. It's disorganized because his thoughts are disorganized, and Narcissa's revelations could mean approximately 483289 things and it's anybody's guess what they could mean if she's genuine, or if she's laying groundwork for a trap.

Thank you SO much to my reviewers - SocksForDobby, slytherinchick123, heartmom88, atomicmom, LK-HoGwArTs-hEaDgIrL, and of course my Anonymous reviewer :D

I'm naming you Nony, by the way. I hope you don't mind. No promises yet :D I need to get through this one first, and I have so much to say in it. :D

I should also note that this chapter was inspired/written/explored for atomicmom, who was curious about Severus' reaction... one thing lead to another, and then this chapter happened. Reviews really do make magic happen!

I hope you find it to your liking :)

Yours,
Threnody