Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended nor do I own anything in relation to Arrow or it's characters.
Chapter 3: First Impressions
The drive to QC normally took all of fifteen minutes but today since the reigning king of the empire was actually going to be in the building the traffic was heavier than usual. Felicity sighed as her fingers ran through her now fairly disheveled low ponytail. Felicity had been doing this for what seemed like hours as the lights once again changed from green to yellow and then again to red. The traffic was backed up all the way around the block since the front of QC was blocked off in preparation for the Queen heir's arrival. She glanced towards the smaller but still rather angry looking clock as the numbers changed from 45 to 46; the small 8 glared at her as if she needed the reminder that in less than 15 minutes she'd be late to her own promotion.
Felicity's fingers reached to touch the button on the steering wheel with the phone icon knowing that if someone didn't alert him soon more than half the building would be empty. Felicity looked down the street noting that now both of the parking garage entrances were completely blocked. Speaking as clearly as humanly possible she said his name knowing that he could make her tardy arrival a thing of the past.
"Walter Steele." The phone dialed his number and within seconds his kind British accent filled the compartment of her compact vehicle.
"Ms. Smoak…why are you calling me?" Felicity cringed slightly but powered through the embarrassment of being late to the party being thrown her own honor…her face turning redder as the words flowed forth in an uncoordinated babble.
"Hi um…" She took a deep breath and then spewed what would later be recalled as verbal vomit.
"well…oktrafficisjammedbecauseofthebaricadethatwassetupforOliverQueenandIalongwithmostoftheemployeescan'tgetthrough."
Felicity exhaled and inhaled deeply as the realization that she hadn't taken a single breath during that entire rather long run on sentence dawned upon her. "You got none of that did you?"
"No but I did just look out the window to see the parking garage was blocked so I've sent a security team down to clear the entrances….How did I do?" She smiled despite her rising mortification as she took another deep breath before once more responding.
"Great…you're spending too much time with me." He chuckled on the other end as the traffic ahead finally began to move.
"I'll see you soon Felicity."
Felicity whispered quietly in response "Bye Walter." The line went dead as she took her foot off the brake finally able to inch the car towards the up until now illusive parking garage.
Felicity padded quickly through the still fairly empty hallways as she attempted to keep her head down. She was halfway to the elevator when she heard the various voices of the gossip mill speculating on what really got their never before seen boss to finally emerge from his hole. As she waited for the elevator to arrive she couldn't help but hear some of the theories that had been circulating through the office for the past week.
"He has to be sleeping with her…"
"I heard he was trapped on some island for five years with no form of human contact…he's like Tom Hanks in…oh Tara what's the name of that movie?"
"Castaway…"
"Right that's it he's Tom Hanks from "Castaway" and now he's afraid to connect to any living or breathing person so he stays locked up in that big old drafty mansion…"
"Didn't his parents die or something like that? I mean I think I read something along those lines in some rag about what…"
Felicity found the urge to bite the inside of my cheek hard to resist as. she fought her own internal war to keep from laughing out loud at the stupidity of the somewhat petty comments that the woman continued to make. She was almost at her wits end when she heard a strong, deep, and to her utter shock a strikingly familiar voice answering their various questions.
"15 years…my parents were killed in a car accident 15 years ago. My younger sister Thea died two years ago from a drug overdose. Anymore questions I could answer for you ladies?" Felicity fought to keep her head pointed down as the women behind her sucked in their collective hot air and became suddenly rather silent. She now bounced on the back of her heels as he spoke once more his voice causing her to abandon all rational thought as her eyes slid shut The visions were crisp and clear as she began visualize…as she began to do what she normally never dared to do…
With her eyes blissfully closed she was able to see him…Her Oliver and just for a split second Felicity could have sworn that she could almost feel the soft caress of his touch as he gently uttered her name.
"I take it by your collective silence that I've properly addressed your various inquires?" With her eyes still closed she held back a small snicker as one of the gossip mongers…Jill she silently suspected began to speak. Felicity's fingers were wound tightly around the others as their personal spokeswoman began to slightly jabber.
"Mr. Queen I'm so sorry…we honestly didn't mean any harm…" Jill's voice sounded rattled and off key as she attempted to diffuse the situation before her.
Oliver's voice was calm and steady just as it had always been in her very vivid dreams. "Then next time pay attention to whose milling about the building please."
"Of course…ladies let's go." Jill's voice faltered as the sharp click and clack of their combined shoes could be heard as they practically ran down the marble floored hallways. Felicity remained frozen in place as the elevator finally dinged signaling that her lone escape route had finally arrived…Or so she'd thought…
"Hold the elevator please…"
Of course he was going up…he was supposed to be meeting her after all so with her back still turned towards him and her face still pointed directly down; she stepped into the elevator turning only to press the buttons for the 18th and 40th floors. Her fingers were shaking as she wrapped them together her mind was playing with her sense of reality as he spoke but this time his voice was closer…softer…and oh so familiar…
"Thank you…" His voice was soft and pleasant but still she'd heard the pause at the end of his statement. Felicity remained silent not trusting herself to speak for fear of what horrid phrase might escape from her traitorous mouth. So she dug through her bag until she felt the small bent corners of the lone business card that she'd buried at the bottom of my purse. Pulling it out she shoved her hand out sideways hoping he'd take the card so that no words would have to be exchanged. Felicity could feel her hand was shaking as her brow broke into a cold sweat the sensations of this moment were almost too much for her sleep deprived mind to handle.
She was moments away from passing out from a panic attack…until she felt his fingers lightly touch the underside of her elbow.
"Hey are you ok? You're…you're shaking do I need to find you a doctor?" His voice was soft and concerned just like he'd always been in the dreams which caused her to shake even harder. The shakes began to envelop her body until she felt her knees were about to give out. Slowly hoping to avoid any further injury she began to slump forwards as she felt the rest of her body slinking down to the ground.
"Hey…hey it's alright…you're alright just take a deep breath…" His voice was soft but demanding as her body refused to respond. Her body was on the ground as her fingers became tangled in her hair. Felicity just kept breathing rapidly and heavily as she rocked herself back and forth. Each movement causing her back to hit the elevators wall; she was sure nothing could stop what she was feeling but Felicity was about to be proved wrong… because the moment he said it her entire world suddenly slowed way way down…
"Felicity please just breathe for me…Felicity please…" The last thing she felt was the touch of his hands against her shoulders as her world went very very dark."
"Is she alright?"
"I hope so otherwise she's going to have one hell of a day once she regains consciousness."
Felicity felt the pain of her headache as it formed slowly began to form between her eyes. Lifting her fingers to the bridge of her nose she squeezed gently as a huff of exasperated air escaped from her now fully functioning lungs. She was lying down but on what she wasn't entirely sure…she'd expected to feel something cool or even scratchy against the back of her neck but all she felt was warmth, cotton and something that wasn't soft but hard, well toned and, she suspected something that was also well worked when it came to exercise.
"What happened to me?" Felicity asked the question as her voice cracked and creaked; her eyes opening very slowly as her vision remained blurred to the scene before her.
"You sort of blacked out sweetie." Felicity knew that voice, that voice had been a constant in her life since she was nine years old. So without moving her head she responded as her lips formed a timid smile.
"Dad really sweetie…how bad was it? You only call me that when I've really humiliated myself."
As she'd expected she was correct.
"Well you sort of blacked out in front of your boss so yeah I thought I'd use an endearment that would alert you to the possible humiliation of the situation at hand." Felicity cursed silently as her eyes once again slid shut her fingers were still braced at the bridge of her nose.
Still wondering who the other voice belonged to she made what perhaps was my third biggest mistake today and vocalized her still unspoken fear. "Mr. Queen I presume you're the leg that my head is currently resting on?"
"You can call me Oliver but yes that would be correct Ms…."
"Felicity you can call me Felicity. Dad would you please help me sit up I'm sure Oliver would appreciate being able to have full use of his leg once again."
Felicity heard the sound of her father's chuckle but what made her heart actually stutter was when she felt Oliver's fingers lightly push a stray strand of hair away from her forehead before he whispered a phrase that if her eyes had been open it would have made them shut once more.
"You can use me as a pillow whenever you'd like…"
Before her mind could come up with a retort or even just a small huh she felt her father's hands as they were braced on either side of her pulling her forward until he had her face pressed snugly into his welcoming chest. Felicity smiled into the cotton of his shirt as he rubbed her back soothingly telling Oliver that he wanted a few moments alone with his daughter. Once she heard the door click closed he pulled her back his voice shifted from soft and calm to hard and demanding.
"Felicity you know how I feel about that boy…he's trouble I mean look what his friendship with Tommy and…" His voice froze as her name died on his lips.
"Dad Laurel and Tommy weren't Oliver's fault he wasn't even around when she died…" Felicity sighed as she leaned forward once more her body suddenly felt drained from the conversation that they'd yet to have.
"Also he doesn't deserve to be judged for his past…no one does." The last part was whispered but his body going rigid beneath her told her he'd heard it none the less.
"Fair point well made as ever Lissy-Girl."
Felicity smiled and leaned back as she used her fingers to lightly touch the side of his still slightly gaunt face. "Where's mom?" Felicity asked almost timidly.
Quentin's response was small and equally as timid. "At the hotel…we're going home this evening and we're taking Tommy and Ava with us."
"You don't have to do that dad…" Felicity could feel the unsaid words hanging between them like a knife that was just begging to fall.
"Yes we do…I fell apart when Laurel died…we sold your home and forced you to come here all the way from Boston just so you could take care of the family she'd left behind."
Felicity once again sighed heavily dropping her hand and using what little strength she'd regained to stand and then to walk gingerly to the back of the office in search of a chair that kept their bodies separated from the other.
"I took the job before she died dad, Sara and I had already made the downpayment on the townhome we were moving to be closer to our sister so it's not like I made a huge sacrifice…"
"Then why does it feel like you did?" Felicity glanced towards him her eyes taking in the details of his still worn appearance. Quentin was still thin but his skin were brighter than before, his eyes were no longer dull and lifeless no now they were angry and resentful and his body was rigid.
Felicity spoke once more before he could be given the chance to say that he didn't want to fight. Her words she knew would continue to hit home. "Because you and mom lost your minds and left Sara and I to clean up the mess."
"I don't want to fight sweetie…"
Sighing heavily as she often did Felicity replied. "Fine so does Tommy know?"
He nodded as his weary frame leaned against the dark wooden table. "Yes he and Ava are with Donna right now. You'll have to tell Sara when you get home."
"Fine…" Looking down at her hands she found that she once more had them clenched into tight fists on either side of my body. "Well I have a presentation to get to…"
"Are you ever going to forgive me for what happened? It was a year ago why can't you just understand that I was in a state of immense grief."
Felicity looked up at that his expression was somber but his voice was still hard as ice. She stood and using the voice that she'd grown accustomed to using whenever in his presence she spoke using the same words that she'd used the night before he went to rehab.
"I'll forgive you when you realize that her death wasn't my fault."
With that Felicity walked out of the room and straight into the massive chest of one Oliver Queen.
He was hard as solid granite as she plowed straight into him…Felicity would have stumbled backwards had it not been for his grasp on her upper arms. "Hey let's not go for round two shall we?"
Felicity looked up in that moment and then her heart froze in mid beat. Suddenly my blackout made perfect sense…
His voice, his touch, his face and now she'd fully felt his body…the same body that had been pressed against her for the past five years in her vivid dreams. She'd blacked out because standing before her was her Oliver….
Standing before her was the man who'd begged her to say "I love you" just mere hours before…. Felicity hoped she was going insane because that would make this easier…No she'd known who her dream man was…she'd known that he was Oliver Queen but what she hadn't expected was the look in his eyes when he'd dared to glance upon her.
Pushing her nerves aside she attempted a small smile as she timidly began to string few simple words together. Her heart once again began to beat like a steel drum. "Thank you…" She swallowed hard as she tried to escape from his solid embrace.
"You don't like me much do you?" Felicity huffed before retorting…
"I don't know you so how can I dislike you?" Felicity knew she was playing with fire but still that didn't stop her from attempting to remove herself from his touch; his grip however was firm and his strength was impressive.
"Then why are you trying so hard to escape my touch?"
Felicity at that moment gaped at him openly as the impact of his question surged through her brain. "I'm just trying to reach the conference room that's all." Her voice was strangled but her intent she felt was clear.
"Well my placing my hand at the small of your back won't hinder that process now will it?" He was pushing her but for what she was still unsure. So Felicity pushed back hoping that his answer would put her unspoken fears to rest.
"Why do you need to touch me at all?"
His lips slightly upturned at that as if he'd sensed what she'd been attempting to do so he tightened his hold on her arms; his thumbs were softly rubbing over her silk blouse in small concentric motions as he replied. "What if I told you I felt drawn to you?"
Felicity's breath caught in her throat as her lips curved to form a small reply. "I'd say you were full of crap…so if you don't mind…"
He released her as he stepped out of her way holding his arms out before he gave her a clipped reply. "Lead the way Ms. Smoak."
Sensing his rather bruised ego she smirked before strutting slightly past him as she gave him her own equally curt response. "My pleasure Mr. Queen."
The day had gone by quickly after that but her mind kept wandering back to their earlier exchange….
He'd pushed back… he'd kept them in direct contact…his eyes... that's what kept haunting her as she moved the pen back and forth between her lips. Her Oliver it was him but how? Her Oliver had been nothing more than a dream...a vision for some lost and damaged little girl. Oliver Queen was an easy target she'd seen him in the rags and she'd heard the sob story of his tragic youth through her media savvy mother. So the question remained was this man really her Oliver? Was this more than some relationship she'd made up in her very imaginative brain. Felicity sighed as the questions kept banging around her in brain she was going insane that's all there was to it. The stress of Laurel's death had finally won…Felicity had finally lost her damn mind. Felicity wouldn't recall when she drifted to sleep but what happened once she did would haunt her for days to come…
"This makes no sense why is he doing this? Oliver why do we keep losing each other?"
He was on the opposite side of the room shoving our limited clothing into the small knapsack that he'd been carrying on the day we'd first met. "He's doing what he's done each time baby…he won't stop until he's won…he won't stop until we're separated for good."
"It's not fair…"
"Felicity…"
"No Oliver I can't do this again I can't lose you again I've lost you too many times before I won't survive it again…I can't…"
He dropped my sweater as his back shifted upwards; his body turned until he was fully facing me. "I love you do you love me?"
I glared at him my response was quick and clear. "Yes of course I do why would you even ask such a question?"
He sighed before walking towards me. "Because each time we've found each other we've always been torn apart. Felicity if you don't love me then tell me now…If you don't want me tell me now before we once again are forced to suffer this horrible fate."
"Oliver I love you…I'm in love with you just like I have been for lifetimes now…I just…" His hands were cradling my face as my tears coated his warm skin.
"Hate this." I nodded against his embrace as he lowered his lips to my forehead. "I do too baby…I do too."
"Will we ever be together?" I felt his body shuddering beneath my touch as my arms banded tightly around his waist.
"Yes because I refuse to live in a world where I don't love you…"
"I love you Oliver…I love you with all my heart…" I whispered the words against his lips as the walls around us suddenly split and cracked, the floors rattled violently as we clung to the other…
"Are you ready?"
"No…" Before he could answer back I pressed our lips fully together as I wrapped my arms even tighter around his body hoping to fill our last moments with love instead of sadness…suddenly we were torn apart as the floor gave out beneath our feet.
Felicity awoke with a start…
She glanced around the room making sure that she was still safe in her office with no shaking walls anywhere in sight.
The dreams were getting worse because now instead of finding her imaginary lover she was now remembering what appeared to be past lives with him. Without pausing Felicity pressed the 3rd speeddial and waited for the person on the other to respond.
"Hello Dr. Shaw…Yes I have a problem…the dreams the ones that I told you about…well I just had another one…"