Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own nothing in relation to Arrow or its characters.
Chapter 4: Truth
I just looked at him my eyes roaming freely over his seated form as he did the same.
Each of us just sat there in silence as we both gathered our thoughts into what I hoped were complete sentences.
"You're real..." I shut my eyes in shame the moment the words left my mouth my hands coming up to shield my shame filled face. "Sorry for some odd reason having you here in front of me has made me a bumbling, babbling idiot." I muttered my last sentence into my damp palms as my voice cracked from the humiliation I was sure to soon be experiencing.
"Yes but you've known that for at least the past two years...or at least I hoped you knew..." His voice on that last statement was low, light, and filled with a slight amount of worry.
Removing my hands from eyes I glanced once more into the endless blue orbs that had haunted my dreams for the past 15 years. I smiled softly as I really took him in...
Oliver was always beautiful...which is an odd way to describe a man but that's what he'd always been to me...
He'd always been beautiful...
He'd always been mine...
Now with him sitting before me I felt scared, relived, and for some reason I felt hesitant. Oliver knew everything about me right down to the nuts and bolts of what made my heart beat slower or faster. He knew what made my face flush, and my palms sweat, he knew what made my blood run cold, and what made me body burn with fire from within...
He knew every facet of my being as I knew his...
And that is what made me hesitate...
That's what made me hold back...
For I'd seen him through his darkest days...I'd seen after he killed that man in the alley way...I'd seen him after each torture session his body was bloodied and scarred...I'd seen every part of him and not once did I ever want to run away...but before it was all just a dream; something I'd made up to shelter my heart from ever truly being broken again...
Now he was here...
Now he was real...
And if it were possible I'd begun to fall even harder for him than I had before...
"I knew Oliver...deep down I always knew...I just..."
"You were scared because you felt something for me that you didn't feel for anyone else..." Again his voice was barely above a whisper and gave nothing away but those eyes they gave everything away.
"Oliver please..." My voice was tired but far from annoyed...I knew we had to have this discussion but that didn't mean I was anywhere close to being emotionally ready for it.
He sat up and leaned forward placing his hands once again on my desk his long dexterous fingers were splayed across the clear cool surface. "No we're going to do this Felicity...you've been running from us since that night and all the nights that came after it...I won't let you keep running from me..."
My eyes shot up at his last statement as my blood went cold. "Those nights never should have happened." My voice was cold with a warning layered within the simple phrase.
"Well they did and I intend for them to continue..."
"That might be quite difficult since you have yet to actually kiss me while we're both awake..." He eyed me cautiously as he inched closer his chest was now braced against the desks edge as he inched his fingers closer and closer to my own clenched fists.
"Is that an invitation?" I rolled my eyes at the corny pick up line before sliding my now open palms forward along the smooth surface of my desk.
"Bad line...do better..." His lips curved as his eyes lit up from within his fingers were now overlapping with my own as they slowly twined with mine.
"Tell me what you want Felicity and I'll do it...I promise..." Our bodies were now mirroring the other's. My chest was now pressed to the desks edge and our hands were now fully joined in the center as our eyes remained locked to the other. I could feel the electric current bubbling just beneath my skin's surface as I kept inching closer and closer my body was practically begging to wrapped within his arms.
"I want..." My voice came out hard, aroused, and low as I struggled to form the words that I'd repeated for years in my head.
"Felicity just tell me...stop being so goddamned stubborn and tell me what you want..." His own voice was now mirroring mine so holding on to what little composure and pride I had left I leaned my body forward rising slightly from my chair so I could press my lips to the underside of his jaw.
"You first..." I could feel the spark growing as his skin bit into my own his fingers were wrapped so tightly around my own that I was sure he'd leave small light bruises behind. His breath faltered and stalled as he nuzzled his nose down the contours of my face.
"I want you...kissing me...holding me...moving rapidly above me...I want you writhing beneath me as you call out my name...I want our shared dreams to be our shared reality." I was shaking with each hard sure word that escaped from his lightly curved mouth our lips were hovering above the others as our heavy breathes mingled together...I was so close to throwing all caution to the wind but his last words made my heart plummet all the way down to my stomach.
"I just want you to be in love with me..." His voice was no longer hard or low; now it was light, sad, and I sensed slightly defeated. His forehead was resting against my my own for a few spare moments as he slowly began to pull away..."I just want you to want me...I just want you to stop running from me..." His words kept coming like water as if falls freely from the cliff's edge.
"I love you...I'm in love with you...and I'm afraid that you'll never feel the same..." My heart broke into a thousand pieces as his body went slack and his face became drawn.
"Oliver..." I tried to bring him back to me I tried to keep our hands entwined but he'd given me what I'd truly wanted...he'd given me my out
But all the sudden it was the last thing I wanted...all the sudden all I wanted was him... He was spiraling now...he'd begun to twist away from our shared hold as his face fell downwards and his emotions suddenly came flooding forth.
"Oliver please you don't understand..."
"Yes I do I've done horrible things Felicity...I've killed, and tortured countless people all so I could survive...I've come to your beaten, scarred, bloodied, and broken and I always saw the look that was deeply etched upon your face...I always knew you were better than me but deep down I always hoped that you could still see me...that you could still see the boy who'd first come to you when his parents died...the one that laughed with you, and cried with you, and held you as your world continued to fall apart..."
I grabbed at his fingers before he could fully pull us apart...clenching down with what little strength I had left to summon I yanked his arm forward causing him to spin around so he was once again fully facing me.
"I love you...do you hear me I love you...Oliver I'm so in love with you that I was willing to spend my life in damn dream world just to stay with you..." I was practically shouting at him as I waited for him to process my last words. "Oliver please hear me...please I'm just scared and confused...but I don't want to lose you...I never want to lose you..." I couldn't tell if he was still with me or if I'd waited too long to tell him what was truly in my heart...that was until he finally moved very rapidly towards me...
I had no more than blinked before he had me pressed firmly up against the bookcase along the back wall of my office. He'd yanked my arms up until he had our hands interlocked directly above my head...his body was pressed dangerously close to mine as his lips hovered directly above my slightly parted lips...
"I love you..." I could feel the steady hum as the current between us began to build our frenzied breaths helped to create an intense friction between our joined chests. Letting my eyes flutter until they were completely shut I took in how it felt to have his body pinning me...trapping me...and consuming me as he held us firmly in place against the book-cased wall.
"I love you Oliver...I love y..." We'd kissed multiple times in our shared dream world. We'd had slow, long, and exploratory exchanges that allowed our senses to take in every soft purposeful moan. We'd had the quick rapid kisses that we exchanged in relief as his broken soul fell before me in the husk that was now coated in one more irremovable scar. I could still feel the harsh brush of his stubbed skin as my fingertips brushed over his jawline...memorizing his face with my touch alone. We'd shared the kisses that you felt all the way down to your toes...We'd shared the kisses that you'd felt long after your lips had parted...we'd shared everything that our mere bodies could experience and still in this one lone moment all of that paled to the fire and the emotion I could feel as his lips roughly seared against my own.
His lips were soft, pliant, and full as he leaned in closer...I felt his lips curving into a small smile when I moaned against him. I felt his fingers curving downwards as he crushed us further and further into the solid black columns of the case behind me. He focused on my bottom lip as I paid very rapt attention to his top. He sucked and nipped until I was writing against his strong hips...I shoved my chest forwards once I felt his tongue lightly tracing along the edge of my upper lip. He kissed me until I began to go slack and only then did he pull away but only so our lips would be parted...the rest of him stayed firmly nestled against my oxygen deprived form.
"Wow..." I was panting heavily as was he but that didn't stop the smile from returning nor did it silence his joyous reply.
"Wow indeed..." His breaths like my own were still coming in hard and fast but my back was about to break so I pushed against him until he moved backwards my head falling forwards in gratitude once I could no longer feel the hard edge of the bookcase as it dug into my lower back.
"Sorry my back was killing me..." He kissed my hair just as he'd been doing since I was ten years old and finally brought my arms down to rest around his neck as his own finally banded around my waist.
"We have so much more to talk about you know." I nodded against our joined foreheads as we slightly swayed back and forth.
"I know but..."
"But not here and not now...I know...so when?" His voice was both eager but understanding as he once again let me chart the course in this often rocky if not unsettled sea.
"Where are you staying?" My voice was still weak from our previous encounter but loud enough for his ears to hear me.
"Actually I'm not far from you I suspect..." I looked up at him quizzically and then remembered Tommy...
"Tommy told you where I was living didn't he?" He just nodded slowly before voicing his reply.
"You're not mad at me are you?" I should have been but that innocent almost terrified look in his eyes made my slight ire all but vanish on site.
"No...not really." I sighed before voicing my next retort. "Come by my house around 8? Sara has a night shift at the lab tonight so she won't be home until dawn. That should give us plenty of time to talk...and yes I mean actually talk no kissing or physical contact of any sort got it?"
He nodded again as he pressed lips lightly to my own. "Got it...so I'll see you tonight at 8..."
"Yes tonight at 8...Oh and Oliver?..." He was still holding me so I could feel the laughter building in his chest with my last comment. "You're cooking dinner."
We parted shortly after that his lips lingered on my forehead as our joined hands fought to stay together until the bitter end. I leaned heavily against the door frame as I watched his back moving beneath the light grey of his dress jacket. I kept him in my sites until the elevator doors finally sealed shut. Then with some hesitance I walked slowly towards my desk picking up the phone and dialing an all too familiar number.
"So how did it go?" I smiled hearing her lively voice on the other end of the phone.
"Good...he knew me Sara...he knew me..."
"You're kidding? Have you told Shaw yet? I mean she did like you know lose her medical license because of you." I sighed recalling that whole mess almost two years ago...
"Not yet she's my next call...and Sara?"
"Yes Lissy-Girl?"
"He's coming over tonight at 8."
I smiled as she gave her rather enthusiastic reply. "You're so lucky that I'm working tonight...I expect a full report at dawn."
"Yeah that won't be happening..."
"It will if he's still there..." I blushed as I said goodbye and placed the phone lightly back on the receiver. Tonight was going to be interesting that much was guaranteed.