One week after Ethan's death you enter the ED looking at your surroundings. This is where Ethan died, this is where he drew his last breath and this is where you needed to be. You needed to be amongst your friends, you needed to be with your brother. You keep thinking Ethan is going to walk through the doors any minute ready to start his shift for the day. You don't accept he's gone. It isn't until you see a small memorial table with his picture and flowers it finally hits home. You finally realise you're never going to see him again. You're never going to see him smile. Most of all you realise he is never going to be there for you when you mess things up. You never really thought about the consequences because you always knew Ethan was there to pick up the pieces. Now knowing you're never going to see him again you finally realise you've always taken him for granted.

"Hey." Lofty says softly. "You shouldn't be here."

"I need to be here." Is all you can say. "I need to be with him."

"Listen, mate. I know you need to be with him but, being here isn't going to help."

"WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW?" You snap at Lofty. You sigh.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to shout."

"No worries."

"I can't go." You whisper.

"Where? The funeral?"

You nod. Attending the funeral would make it real. It would mean you really had lost your brother. In your head you knew your brother was dead, but in your heart you didn't want to accept it. Because by accepting Ethan was dead you would have to accept the truth. You break down in front of the ED. Lofty leads you to the staffroom and sits down next to you.

"Cal, why can't you go? He would want you to be there."

"Because if I go it means I have to say goodbye. And I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that. I'm not sure if I'll ever be."

"It's not easy saying goodbye to those you love and it's not going to be, but you're going to need to." Lofty replies softly.

"Don't you think I know that?"

"Of course."

"But, I can't, Lofty!"

"Why not?" He asks you quietly.

"Because how am I supposed to say goodbye to him? How am I supposed to say goodbye to my little brother when I know I'm the one who killed him!"

"Cal..." Lofty begins to say.

"No, Lofty. I may not have been the one who crashed into him, but I was the one who didn't do the procedure. I killed him. I killed my little brother and now I have to say goodbye to him."

"We're here for you. You know that. We'll always be here for you."

Your conversation is interrupted by the opening of the staffroom door.

"Are we ready?" Charlie inquires.

You and Lofty get up from the couch.

"As ready as I'll ever be." You inform him.

Walking to reception you see your colleagues, your friends are there ready to be there for you. You smile fondly. Together you silently depart for the church.