Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended I own nothing in relation to Arrow or it's characters.

Chapter 6: Nerves

I moved around my apartment with very little ease and even less grace as I picked up Sara's "misplaced" clothing from every single small crevice that our townhome could have. My sister had many fine and even down right adorable qualities but her housekeeping skills well they were lacking. One hand held about three or four tee shirts, the other was filled with her various necklaces, about three pairs of shorts and her three inch peep toe pumps were hanging freely from my fingers. However what made this moment perfect was that fact that I also had two of her lacy frilly bright red bras hanging over my currently bare shoulder...so of course I would have a rather loud if not frantic knock at the door.

"I'm coming...well sort of...one minute..." I maneuvered my way through the obstacle course of her other personal affects as I attempted to carefully and quickly answer the loud and rather persistent knock at the door.

"I'm coming just...well just keep your pants on!" I had my hand on the door when I heard the ring of an all to familiar voice...

"I forgot my key so just hold off from lecturing me and move your ass my arms are getting tired here." I had to restrain myself from snorting out loud as I turned the knob and using my only spare limb...my foot I pushed the door wide open.

Once I saw her the loud and rather unattractive snort I'd managed to keep within was suddenly released as she sneered before pushing her shoulder roughly into my own as she shuffled past. "Sara did you fall into like every single puddle in Starling? My God sweetie you're drenched and..." I could smell the slight wet and moldy odor as it lingered faintly in foyer of our shared home. "Um Sara why do you smell like..." I breathed in deeply once more attempting to find the right words to convey the odor that was steadily growing stronger.

"A sewer the word you're looking for is a sewer and the reason is my stupid if not unbelievably well intentioned girlfriend..." Just as the word girlfriend slipped from her tight pursed lips in stomped an equally wet and just as smelly Nyssa.

"I never asked you to travel down into the sewer you chose to make that rather abhorrent choice all on your own my love." I glanced between the two women as they proceeded to stare each one mentally throwing daggers at the other.

"Yes but did you not say and I quote but Sara it's my last remaining heirloom from my mother..." I was leaning against the still open door frame watching with a great degree of interest as they continued to throw one verbal volley after the other... each one standing firm and strong as they continued to drip the rotten sewage laden water onto our newly installed hardwood floors.

"I never asked you to open the grate and climb in...I was suggesting that we perhaps track the wretched water's flow..."

"Nyssa it's a storm drain it flows down to to another underwater tunnel and then down to the cities water recycle plant. Trust me baby that damn necklace was gone if we followed your line of thought."

Sara had begun to trudge up the stairs muttering small light curses as her shoes slipped against the floors smooth surface. "Damn stupid fucking shiny ass floor...Felicity next time I'm choosing the floor!" I couldn't help but chuckle as I moved away from the open door.

"Nyssa let's get you some warm, dry and well clean smelling clothes shall we?"

"Yes that would be wonderful...Hello Lissy..." She smiled gently kissing my cheek before she closed my still open door. "Sorry about all this...I know that you had plans for this evening."

I just rolled my eyes as I dumped the contents of Sara's closet on our creme colored couch before moving towards the laundry basket at the other end. "Don't worry about it...I'll just reschedule..."

"Oh no you won't Felicity Meghan Smoak you are going to see him tonight if I have to drug you and carry you over there myself." I glanced towards the stairs as a now partially dry Sara appeared from just below the landing.

"Sara..."

"No I've had to watch for two years as you've subjected yourself to various hypnosis sessions, drug therapies and even a few ill fated trances just so you could find the answers that your hacking abilities couldn't find. You are going to see this through." She had closed in on me now as she put her slightly cooled skin upon my very flushed face. "You love him...don't run away from that...you've spent two years trying to run towards him don't backpedal now." Leaning into her offered comfort I closed my eyes sighing heavily before nodding into her familiar palm.

"I'm scared Sara...what if he hates me when I tell him the truth...what if he doesn't understand...what if he turns away from me...I can't lose him Sara...Not again..." She smiled at me as my voice became soft and weak my fear was beginning to take hold as my knees began to knock rapidly against the other.

"He loves you...who wouldn't?"

I glared at her but smiled softly right after. "He's not you..."

"No he's more...he's the only person in the world who can truly understand what you've been through because he's been through it too." She came closer until she our foreheads tightly pressed together as our arms naturally wound around the other's waist. "He's seen every facet of you and he still wants you...don't waste that by being too afraid to make your own move. For once baby sister take what you want." She paused briefly before saying what we'd already both known was true. "You want him so grab him and never let go..."

"I love you big sister..."

She smiled as she leaned back bringing her hand up to once again cup the side of my face. "I love you too little sister...do you think he'll react better than I did when you tell him about Laurel and dad?"

Now I fell forward as my forehead came smashing down to her shoulder."Sara how could he? I mean how do you tell the love of your life that your step sister and step father are the reason we've been trapped in this strange past life nightmare for over 500 years..." I sighed as I continued to mumble softly into her soft cotton hoodie. "I mean it's like a tagline from some really bad or even sappy romance novel...you didn't believe me until I found Laurel 10 months ago why the hell would he?"

"Maybe because he's been suffering from the same nightmares as you?" I heard Nyssa's voice as Sara kept rubbing soothing patterns into the small of my back.

"I see you've told her..." I groaned loudly into her shoulder as she began to slightly giggle.

She sheepishly replied..."She guessed."

I pinched her sides which caused her to yelp. "You're an awful liar..." Looking towards Nyssa but staying in my sister's embrace I asked my sister's better half what she thought about my odd predicament. "Nyssa what do you think?"

Her fingers were coiled tightly around each other as she stood completely still her clothing hanging tightly around her as she became deathly focused on giving me her best response. "What if he's your missing key?"

I pushed away from Sara as I moved to lightly clasp my hands to her own. "What do you mean?"

She looked downwards as her feet moved lightly against the now thoroughly soaked floor. "You can't see past a certain point right?" I just nodded as she continued her voice becoming more confident with each passing phrase. "Well what if the reason for your mental limitation is him...what if you need him as he needs you to complete the puzzle...what if you two can't prevent the future without fully understanding your past?"

"We have to connect..."

"Yes but in the physical world not just in the spiritual one. You've come together in one plane correct?" I again nodded slightly as my face turned almost ruby red. "Yes..."

"More than once?" I was dying inside but she'd hit on a rather valid point the visions had always been there but they only appeared when Oliver and I connected...they only appeared when we'd broken through another invisible barrier.

"Yes more than once..." Now my fingers were clamped together as my body began to shudder in utter horror.

"How many times?"

"Nyssa!"

"What! I have a point in asking and no it's not just to see her turn yet another adorable shade of red..." She smiled at me slightly before whispering into my ear. "Although it is a fringe benefit..."

I laughed as Sara growled...

"Nyssa make your point before you and I come to blows." She smiled even wider but her normal no nonsense tone became softer, kinder and far more gentle than I'd thought she was capable of being.

"Felicity how many?" I shrugged acting like I didn't know the exact number but secretly I'd memorized each time I got to feel his skin beneath my fingernails as I raked through roughly down his scarred and burned flesh.

"Ummm..." I looked upwards with my eyes as my fingers started to turn white.

"Felicity come on fess up how many..." Sara's tone was annoyed but filled with a new purpose.

"45″ I'd said the number in tone that was one octave below a light whispering wind.

"Felicity..." Sara's tone was a warning one so I balled my hands into one giant fist and attempted to find my usually strong voice.

"45 alright we've had "dream sex" 45 times in two years and I see him every single time I sleep so really that's like barely a drop in the bucket." She snickered but it was Nyssa who responded.

"And the visions were they stronger and did they form a more complete picture after you'd been together?" Now my face was the color of Sara's bra that was thankfully now lying on the couch.

"Oh my god! You two totally did it last night didn't you? That's why the vision you had today was so strong! That means..."

"In order to figure out what really happened in our past Oliver and I have to..." I was so mortified by the turn this conversation had taken that I couldn't even form the words that were now lodged in the back of my throat.

"Oh come Lissy you've already had sex..." Her voice stilled and then changed when she thought about the circumstances. "Oh my god are you afraid that he won't want the real thing? Are you afraid that the real deal won't live up to the dream?"

"Can you blame me?" My voice was painfully small as she and Nyssa both fully enveloped me. "I know it's stupid but that wasn't real real...this will be...what if...what if I don't..."

"If his expectations aren't met then he doesn't deserve you. Love is more than the physical it's also about the emotional." Her face was nuzzled into the back of my neck while her arms wrapped around me from behind. Nyssa had her arms around my neck; her fingers drifted lightly through my hair. "Lissy you'll be perfect to him...I promise you could never disappoint him...never..." They both held me as I softly wept into Nyssa's still drenched and smelly coat. I took their strength and their warmth as I gathered the courage to do what I'd always secretly dreamed of doing. I picked up the phone so I could make a real formal first date with Oliver Queen.

I watched as he paced back and forth along the length of the small living space within the rented townhouse. "John please take a seat this is soon going to be nothing more than a distant memory."

He turned on his heel once again and continued his pointless journey going back and forth across the rooms expanse sighing heavily each time he neared my seated form. "She's not like you Oliver she's an innocent who doesn't deserve any of this...she's..."

"My entire world John do you really think I wouldn't move heaven and Earth to protect her? John I've known her since she was eight years old...I've cared for her since the night her father left and my parents died. I've held her as she's cried while she's be there to remind me what if feels like to be alive..." I took a deep breath and stood stopping his forward motions with a slight touch of my hand to his broad sturdy chest. "I don't exist without her so please stop thinking that I won't put her first...she comes before anything even myself." My voice wasn't hard or edged with anger it was simple, soft but direct as well. I'd never do anything to harm her but convincing him of this simple fact still to this day took quite a bit of effort.

"It's hard to imagine that a man like you can feel that way towards a woman like her..." His reply was not an insult or a reprimand it was just a simple statement of fact.

"I know." My lips upturned slowly as I moved past his massive frame my hand lightly grazing the top of his shoulder in a friendly pat as I passed. "The information for the groups movements I assume is on the desk in my bedroom?"

"Yes the group that's been tracking you has set up shop in the lower Glades just as you suspected they would...what are you going to do about this new wrinkle?"

I turned from the kitchen counter and faced him with my hands braced alongside my hips. My face was tight, in control, and prepared to make a statement that my bodygaurd of the moment would most likely take issue with. "I'll do what I've been trained to do..."

"Oliver you can't put her in danger like that..."

He was tensing like a lion stalking it's prey as his eyes narrowed into small direct points. "She's not going to be in any danger John I won't let that come anywhere near her...they'll keep till morning." I lowered my head exhaling loudly before I asked my next question. "Is she with them?"

He knew who "she" was before he finished his short phrase. "Yes she's the one that brought them here...She and her father must have been planning this for years so why not just take Felicity completely out of play?"

He'd just vocalized my own silent and unspoken words so I looked up taking in his braced posture; his arms crossed tightly against his chest. "It's different this time...She's never grown up with Felicity before...she's never been with another before...Laurel broke the rules of that damn would be curse."

His mouth quirked in confusion. "How?"

I smiled slightly recalling the small cooing sounds that Ava had made against the phones receiver just a mere hour before. "She had a daughter this time...she has what she took from me in the beginning...she has a family."

"What about Lance? He loves our girl so this can't be easy for him."

I nodded as I leaned into the countertops cool but still sharp edge. "He has no choice none of us do Digg...the only way this stops is if we can figure out what started it to begin with."

I could tell this aspect of my life still completely confused him so his next question wasn't surprising at all. "Oliver what do you think started all this? I mean why is it so important that you find her in every life? Wouldn't it be easier to just live a without her?"

"Have you ever been in love John?" My own arms were crossed against my chest; my legs laced one over the other on the cool marble floors. I looked at him with a clear head and no regret in my heart as he mulled over his forthcoming answer.

"Yes why?"

"What would you give to be with her?" He still seemed confused so I elaborated. "She's my reason for waking up...she's my reason to continue breathing through the injuries of my past...she makes me better but the real reason this all started is because she died...she and our unborn child died so that I could survive...I could live a thousand lifetimes and never be worthy of her love."

"They killed her in the first life didn't they?" I nodded as he finally took the seat located just behind his very rigid form. "So do you think she's seen them as well...the visions I mean?"

"She's seen them."

"How do you know?"

I shuddered as I recalled our last shared moments in the dreamscape that had been at times more real to me than even the waking world. "I just do."

He was about to respond when I felt my pocket buzz. Bringing my phone forward I looked over the name that flashed before me. I smiled slowly as my finger eagerly pressed answer. "I've missed you..."

Her tone was light but I could feel the hesitation and fear buried within it. "I don't think I'll ever adjust to this..." I smiled before asking my next question.

"Felicity I'm going to see you in an hour so what's wrong? Why are you calling baby?"

"Can I come to you instead?" Her answer was quick and her voice trembled slightly in unexpressed fear.

"I'd like nothing more...same time?" I was smiling like a fool as she said yes... I hung up a moment later with Diggle looking at me strangely.

"What?" He snicked as he stood moving with a renewed purpose towards the door.

"How will she know where to come?" His question was dodging my own but right now I was too happy to care.

"Trust me she knows..." With that he patted my shoulder and left leaving me standing alone in the small kitchen with my grin etched firmly within the lines of my for once relaxed face.

"God why am I so nervous?" I had changed almost four or five times in the past 45 minutes and I was still at a loss of what I should wear.

"Felicity it's dinner not a proposal..." She was leaning against my door frame as I started to throw the contents of my closet out and onto my now very cluttered floor.

"He's only really seen me in well..." I grasped at my bottom lip with my teeth as I attempted to decide between the black pencil skirt or the white frilly lace trimmed skirt. Each one one accentuated a different aspect of my form. "He's seen me in sweats Sara or some stupid ratty tee shirt that has like four holes in the sides from frequent use. So yes Sara this is very important this is my chance to well..."

"Oh my god you what to look beautiful for him don't you?" As usual my sister hit the nail right on the head with a her hammer like precision.

"So what if I do? What's so wrong with that?" I'd decided on the black pencil skirt which highlighted my rather fantastic backside. I had the skirt in place so I twirled around in front of my mirror as Sara watched me with a great deal of amusement. I looked over my shoulder at her as I picked up the black lined lace top that I'd only bought about two weeks before. "What?"

She was smiling...no she was beaming at me as she moved carefully into my now destroyed room. "I like seeing you happy...I like that he makes you happy..." Her tone told me there was more lingering just beneath the surface.

"But... Sara...come on give what are you so carefully dancing around?" I lowered my hands to my hips as I tilted my head down in an attempt to look both serious but maybe even slightly dangerous.

She began to frown as she ran her fingers lightly through my cascading blonde waves. "What if he's hiding things like you are? What if he's keeping secrets that are even worse than the one's you've been keeping? Felicity what if he's not who you think he is? I mean the Bravta is no joke..."

"Sara..." I'd regretted telling her about that damn tattoo moments after the words slipped past my lips. "I trust him."

"But..." I reached up and grasped her hands in mine as my voice went deathly stern.

"I love him Sara and I have an odd feeling that there's nothing anyone could say or do that's going to change that..." I swallowed hard before adding with my voice now barely above a whisper. "Believe me I've tried..."

She nodded but I knew she still harbored many feelings of unease when it came to my undeniable pull to the man in my dreams. "Be careful?"

I nodded as she pulled my hair into two small diamond crusted combs her fingertips lightly gracing the sides of my face as she moved slightly away. She was almost out of reach but I still managed to grab her arm before she'd completely turned away. "Sara..."

"Yeah?" Her voice was suddenly tired and slightly withdrawn as she shifted to fully face me.

"You do want this for me right? I mean an hour ago you were downstairs holding me as I cried into Nyssa's shoulder because I was afraid he wouldn't want me"

"And I do I want this for you...I want this more than anything...It's just..."

"You're worried about what happens once I give into him?" The moment her head went down I knew I'd been the one to hit the nail on the head. She remained still as a wooden board as she reminded me of the timeline that spelled out my impending doom.

"The moment you two are finally together in the real world the clock starts after that you have six months and then death...Not to be selfish but I have one sister who faked her own death for a reason that is still a mystery so I don't really want to lose the other because she fell in love with the wrong but in her case right man for her. I don't want to lose you because you two couldn't keep your hands off each other can you understand that?"

I nodded but didn't step any closer. "I'll be alright Sara...I promise I won't let my heart rule over my head." I inched slightly closer and gave her the words that I hoped would remind her that I had no intentions of leaving her behind. "I may be in love with him but that doesn't mean I forgot those I loved before him. You're my sister Sara and that matters to me... you matter to me..." I took a deep long breath and inched even closer knowing my last words would strike the deepest cords. "You mattered to Laurel too despite it all she loved you with all her heart."

She moved away with a sad smile and a slight almost undetectable nod, I barely heard her whisper as she rounded the corner of my still wide open door. "She loved you just as much as she ever loved me..."

I smiled at my reflection as I grabbed the white form fitting jacket off the back of my chair and half tripped and half walked out the door. Reminder to self keep your floors clear of any and all obstacles when wearing four inch heels.

I was standing at his door...I was actually standing and I wasn't surrounded by blackish grey walls. I was awake and aware of my surroundings...

He was just behind this small rectangular opening...

He was waiting for me...

I raised my hand and prepared myself to rap my knuckles against the steel framed door...

Before my skin even touched the cool metal of the door it was opening...his face was beaming from ear to ear as he rushed towards me...gathering me in his strong muscular arms before I even had the chance to blink in surprise.

He held me tightly in doorway half his body was in the room while the other half was in the hall...I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as he lifted me upwards so that my feet were no longer touching the ground. He smiled into my neck as his arms tightened around my waist. "I missed you..."

I grinned at our own special greeting my smile growing even wider as he nuzzled his nose against my skin..."Did I ever tell you that I used to daydream about holding you during my boring business meetings?" My arms tightened at his small but still heart-stoppingly sweet admission as I kissed the small space of exposed skin that was peaking out right above his upturned collar behind his ear.

"Did I ever tell you that I used to daydream about how your lips felt when they running up and down the length of my throat? I felt his body quiver beneath me as he moved backwards bringing us both into the confines of the small private room. He was about to speak so before we had the talk that could change everything I pressed my lips against the shell of his ear and said the words that had been in my heart since I'd heard his voice earlier this morning. "I missed you too..."

He stood there holding us close together for a few more precious moments knowing that once the sweetness of our reunion was gone the real words of lies and deceit would have to be exchanged.