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Chapter 8: The Truth: Lies Undone

Oliver's last words had sunken into my bones until they were vibrating throughout my entire skeletal frame.

Laurel was my sister fact...

Laurel wasn't my real sister fact...

Now I had two separate facts to reconcile while he stared at me with the same eyes that had watched me grabble with every horrible truth my life had thrown at me since we first "met". His hold on my body had long ago left as I paced back and forth in front of him as he sat on the rented rooms rather stiff couch.

"Felicity please say something hell anything at this rate would do...just please talk to me..." His voice was tinged with what I could have sworn was a slight bit of desperation as I froze in mid step turning my body towards his own as I nervously chewed on my bottom lip. His eyes were regretful and his posture was slumped as he ran both of his massive calloused hands over the tops of his thighs.

I opened and closed my mouth to speak several times in 30 seconds each time I hoped my voice would be there to respond. Sadly nothing oxygen was released as I just dumbly stood there my mouth wide open as I stood shaking before him.

"Felicity?" He must have been looking at me because his voice has gone from tired to suddenly very alarmed. He spoke again but this time his voice was closer...louder...and tinged with a slight amount of panic. "Felicity hey I need you to look at me..."

I glanced up as his fingers came down beneath my chin pushing my face gently upwards until he could see every emotion that my voice couldn't convey. "You need to talk to me...I need you to talk to me." I nodded slightly as I lifted my shaking fingers to his face the pads of my fingers were ghosting across his skin when my voice finally decided to make an appearance.

"She's alive..." It wasn't what I'd wanted to say or even how I'd wanted to say it but there it was out there far before I'd wanted it to be.

"I know..." His words were released with a heavy sigh as his fingers left my skin his arms falling heavily to his sides. "I've known since that night over a year ago..."

My mind should have been reeling hell I should have been punching him squarely in the jaw but he'd only done what I had done. He'd wanted to protect me while protecting himself and no matter what we were both about to reveal I had to remember that one sad truth.

He may have lied but then so had I. So I inched forward, I took his hands in mine lacing our fingers together before I further invaded his personal space my chest barely touching against his own. Looking upward into his stormy troubled eyes I swallowed hard bracing myself for what might be the hardest part of our often troubled and strange relationship.

"Oliver...I think it's time that we both told the truth." I gulped again when I felt the ease of pressure against our joined hands increase as my heart suddenly surged downward until I could feel it's dull thud in the pit of my stomach.

"I think it's time that we were finally honest about everything..."

I waited on pins and needles for what seemed like hours but that were in fact only mere seconds. He smiled slightly which eased my heart's nerves as he spoke with the voice that made every inhibition I'd ever had melt away.

"Okay..."

He sat on one end of the couch while I resided on the other. He looked nervous but also slightly agitated with his arms folded firmly across his chest. I smirked when I saw his mouth curving upward into a small irritated smile. "This discussion could still be had if we were I don't know...closer together..."

My own lips curved higher as I replied in kind. "Oliver I want us to have an actual conversation that doesn't end with our hands beneath the other's clothing okay?"

He nodded and then leaned back into the armrest of the chair his lips still held a the ghost of a smile as he asked his first leading question. "So how far back do your visions actually go?" '

I tilted my head while lacing my fingers together exhaling as my head slumped forward. "I can see bits and pieces of the years before the light switch was a common place item but the clearest ones are still the more current years like the 20′s, 4′0s, and the 60′s..." I took a breath and then with a slight tremor in my voice I volleyed his own question right back at him. "So how about you? How far back can you see?"

He pursed his lips and spoke his voice was clear without a tremor in sight. "All the way back to our first meeting but I can't see how it ends nor can I see what caused our current predicament." I nodded as he continued his next question putting me right in the hot seat. "I assume you're aware of my connections to the people in your life?"

Glaring at him I spoke my tremor from before gone as a small amount of anger came forth. "Oh you mean Julie and John..." He smirked as I spoke his form was more relaxed than even mere moments before. "Yes my hacking skills gave me quite a bit of insight into how far reaching your pull really was..." I tilted my head again as I posed another equally themed question. "When did you buy their silence by the way?"

" I didn't buy them Felicity..." I glared as he continued.

"I simply made sure that your crazy never should have been licensed doctor didn't kill you while you came to the same conclusion that I already had..." He took a breath before adding his last statement. "John for your information was a random stroke of luck that I found a way to fully expose."

"What conclusion were you waiting for me to come to Mr. Queen?" My tone was clipped and deadly formal as the words rolled lightly off my tongue.

He leveled me with his all knowing glare as he brought his hand up to rest against the side of his smug if not still perfect face. "That we won't be able to find the truth unless we do it together."

"Oliver that's not going to happen..." I stopped talking for a spare moment as I licked my lips. I knew when I promised Sara I was fighting a losing battle and right now as I sat just mere feet away from him I felt that invisible thread as it pulled tighter and tighter around my heart. As my eyes slowly traveled over his perfectly chiseled form I spoke hoping that my voice didn't give away the sudden yearning that had taken root within my soul. "At least not yet..."

That got his attention as I knew it would...His eyebrows went up in surprise as he struggled to remain rooted to his spot on the couch's other end. "Yet?" His voice was no longer asking a question no that was the tone of a man who knew exactly what he wanted and this man knew he wasn't far from getting it.

I shifted bringing my legs beneath me, my chest was rising quickly as I struggled to keep my bubbling emotions in check. "Oliver you knew what I was trying to do with Julie and you knew why I was in Starling City that night...why didn't you come to me then? Why make me wait? Why make us wait?" Our earlier conversation was still tugging at the back of mind so I decided to shift us back towards the lies that we both still had yet to reveal. The hardest among them was going to be that night...

He knew more than he as saying and I intended to find the answer whether he liked it or not.

"Oliver come on fess up you knew exactly where i was going to be, you had to be the man who saved my life..." I closed my mouth when I saw his face suddenly shift. I'd hit a nerve and this nerve was one that had clearly caused him pain.

I watched him closely for a few moments as his lips once again pursed together his eyes becoming heavy as his emotional burdens began to rise fully to the surface. His lips moved slowly as he began to give me the answers he knew I craved. "You remember our first time together I assume?"

I nodded but remained for the first time in my life quiet as I let him tell me in his way and his time. He smiled softly at my small physical acknowledgement before speaking once more. "After that night Felicity I knew that I'd move heaven and Earth to find you...I knew in that moment that what we shared was real...I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were out there so yes I used my rather sizable influences both with my organization and my wealth to track you down."

I gapped at him slightly before I asked a very simple question..."How?" I felt the air rapidly leaving my once filled lungs as I allowed my body to go completely limp. "How I never even gave you my last name..." The last part I'd all but whispered but apparently not quietly enough.

"Felicity you didn't have to remember?" He was begging me with his eyes alone to realize what he was trying to imply.

As my mind cleared and I once again began to think clearly I realized he already had all he needed to find me...he'd had me. I stuttered ever so slightly as I vocalized my fragmented thoughts. "I gave you all you needed...I gave you my life and then the visions...you did the same thing didn't you?"

Now he nodded and the connection to Julie suddenly made complete sense.

"Yes Felicity after that night I started reaching out to anyone who might be able to take me far enough under so that I could reach the parts of my mind that only seemed to awaken after I'd been with you. I found Julie a few weeks after you apparently had started the hypnosis sessions. I flew her out to my home in Russia and well after our first session let's just say she connected the dots...After that she'd call me and tell me what you'd seen or experienced, after that she made sure that if you ever went too far I'd have a way to find you."

Taking a deep breath as I looked deeply into my own heart while glancing up into his somewhat scared blue eyes I asked the one question I knew might very well break my heart. "Laurel...tell me about that night Oliver and this time don't edit or leave out some key fact...If my visions are right then usually she's the one who's holding the weapon that eventually does one of us in."

He was silent for a brief moment as he silently weighed his own invisible list of pros and cons each list had one goal...

The goal being my ultimate survival. I knew he was holding back so I inched closer my palm reached out towards him at the center of the black couch. "Oliver we can't stop this if we don't work together so please you give me this moment and then I'll give you mine...Deal?" I played upon an old memory hoping he'd come out of his own head long enough to see that the longer we fought against each other the worse of we'd become.

The moment his hand touched mine i knew the ploy had worked. He exhaled before his deep voice gave me the missing puzzle piece of the one night that my own step-father still blamed me for.

He stared at me for a few brief moments as we continued to hold the others hand. I could feel him shaking beneath my touch his palm was vibrating with an unexpressed emotion that i had yet to name. His breathing like my own was heavy we each had been waiting for so long to have this conversation that the build up itself was almost worse than the actual words being exchanged.

He voice was soft as he started to finally speak. "Felicity first you have to understand that Julie didn't want to betray your trust she had some serious issues with our arrangement but after that night her issues all but vanished."

I looked at him with sympathy oddly enough as his voice began to cave and crack he didn't want to go into this but I knew we'd never be able to move forward if he didn't.

"Oliver I'll ask my questions later for now just tell me what happened that night and we'll deal with my emotional fallout later." Now it was turn to nod as he he squeezed firmly down on our still clasped hands. I gave him a slight smile for encouragement as he began to speak once more.

"Well Julie had been attempting to explain what you'd chosen to do..." He stopped speaking and I knew why my odd choice of action had alarmed Sara as well so I'm sure Oliver was ten times worse. He'd taken his few deep breaths to release some of his spare frustration and continued he'd even brought down his other hand which I gladly accepted.

"She was upset that night your session had been harder than usual apparently you'd seen something so awful that time left you broken and slightly 's calls were always at a certain time around 9:30 and the duration was usually 10 to 15 minutes in length." I slightly gawked at him so he paused his story to inquire about whatever new emotion I was now currently feeling.

"Felicity what's wrong? Did I say something that needs clarifying?" I couldn't help but smile slightly at his concern even now over my emotional state. I was so touched by it that my next words just sort of slipped past my lips without my given consent.

"Oliver you really do care for me don't you?" I knew it was a stupid question but I just couldn't stop the words from falling past my lips.

He eyed me with a hint of amusement twinkling behind those bright blue and sterling grey eyes. I thought he'd say something like of course I do or why would ever ask such a thing but instead he once again took me by complete surprise. He leaned forward slightly until he was centimeters from my lips...I waited for him to move in and steal a small kiss but he didn't he remained still and suddenly I knew why. I'd laid down the rules and he being the man he was waited letting me decide if I wanted him to come the rest of the way...

He waited for me to decide if I wanted him to kiss me...

He didn't have to wait long...

I leaned forward bringing us together as our parted lips touched...

At first the pressure was gentle each of us taking no more than the other could emotionally provide. He was hesitant but I could feel the desperation that lingered just beneath the surface. He wanted me that much was clear but what always amazed me was the depth of his need. His lips moved with care and precision as he took his time exploring, caressing, and just in general devouring my mouth as if he was a dying man stranded in the desert and I was his last sip of water.

"Oliver...I felt each soft kiss he pressed to my skin as our hands unclasped each of us using them to travel over the others body. He was hard and firm while I was soft and pliant. He was controlled and slightly rigid as he gathered me into his strong waiting arms I went willing my body suddenly craving to be pressed completely to his in more ways than one.

"Relax Felicity we're not going to do anything you're not ready for...I just wanted to hold you for a brief moment...I love you..." He'd read the signals wrong because for once I didn't want to pull away...for once I wanted nothing more than to give in and let him take away whatever issues I still had left to resolve.

"Not the problem this time Oliver..." His chest was roughly rubbing against my own with each ragged breath we both managed to draw in. My fingers were curled at the nape of his neck; my finger nails were digging into the tender flesh while his hands roamed freely down my spine. "I...I..." I kept stumbling over my words as his lips continued to press gently against my throat. "Oliver...I don't want you to stop but...you really have to..."

I felt his lips curving against the column of my throat into what I could have sworn was a small smile. He was amused while I was just plain aroused and frankly that in my opinion was unfair. I pulled back slightly and felt an instant pang of regret when his lips left my skin. "How are you not more affected right now?"

He chuckled again but didn't make a move to separate our bodies further. "Felicity trust me I want you but you were right..."

That statement had me floored to the point that I inched forward in his lap as my legs clenched slightly down around his waist. "Oliver are you actually admitting that I was..." I stopped for emphasis but he beat me to the punch.

"Yes Felicity you were right in order for us to have true intimacy we have to start at the beginning we have to clear the air and then move towards what we both clearly want."

I smiled at him softly when I said the words that I knew were running rapidly through both our minds. "You mean sex I take it..." His nod and slight kiss to my cheek told me I'd guessed right.

He shifted as his hold on me increased now instead of us both sitting up he made it so we were both laying down. His head rested on the couch's armrest while he held me firmly to the full length of his now stretched out body. With my head nestled beneath his chin and his hands running up and down the back of my head and back he spoke which immediately made my insides turn to liquid. "When we're together I want it to be with no more secrets between us. So with that in mind would like to continue our previous conversation?"

I spoke sheepishly before pressing a light kiss to the underside of his jaw. "Yeah that would be a good idea wouldn't it." He just held me closer in response as our legs became entwined.

"So Julie called you after my nightmarish one I take it?" He was firm and warm beneath me as his voice vibrated through my chest.

"Felicity I can't believe that you allowed her to drug you like that but yes she did because she was scared. You didn't come out of the trance like normal apparently you remained in the lucid state. She tried to bring you out of it with other drugs but all the different medications made the trance stronger until..." He swallowed hard and I remained deathly quiet he was giving me the parts of the story that my mind still couldn't recall. I could feel his rough fingertips as he trailed them down the thin fabric of my shirt his body was quivering with the memories I was forcing him to relive. His voice was tight, strained, and scared so I wrapped myself into his body and held on as he finished expelling his own personal demons.

"I was in the city because of the previous session she was convinced that maybe we'd have more luck together than we were having apart. I agreed so when she called me panicked I demanded your number and within moments I had your location pinged I was a few blocks from you so getting to you in time wasn't difficult. I'd found you four minutes later you were moving with no real direction towards the darkened alley between two vacant warehouses. Felicity god you were screaming...the words were incoherent except for no...You kept screaming no as you stumbled blindly into the path of an on coming car. I'm fast baby but someone else was faster..." He stopped speaking then his voice rough and raw from the story he'd just told. I knew without him saying a single word...

Laurel...

Laurel was the person I remembered shoving me out of the way...

Laurel was the person I felt hovering over my body...

It was her blood that stained my skin...

It was her tears that left my cheeks damp...

But it was his face in shadows that I'd seen when I began to wake up. So I asked my last question with my voice muffled by his open collared white shirt."Did she vanish before you could reach me?"

I felt his rough chin rubbing against my delicate forehead as he nodded in reply. "Yes she wasn't alone someone was with her and Felicity for the life of me I can't tell you who that might have been. But she saved you and then ran I called out for her to stop but she didn't she just kept running."

I timidly asked one more slight question..."Oliver..." My voice caught in my chest as I wondered aloud if my one memory of that night was real. "Did you kiss my forehead and whisper I love you before the ambulance came and found me covered in a man's jacket with a small note that said I was saved by an unnamed person?"

I felt his scruff once more as it slightly chaffed my skin. His voice was low and deep as he pressed his face down upon the top of my head. "Yes and I stayed hidden in the shadows until I saw them loading you into the back of the squad...I wouldn't leave you alone but given my world at that point in time I couldn't risk being seen outside of Russia...It broke my heart to leave you lying there on the cold damp ground but I couldn't put you in even more danger...I'm so sorry Felicity...I'm so sorry that I hid from you but my world it's dangerous and back then the danger was even worse than it is now."

I nodded numbly as we stayed there each of us lost in our own thoughts as we both digested the information we'd just learned.

I must have gone over that night thousands of times in my head and each time I hit the same brick wall. He was there that much I'd felt to be true but Laurel had saved me and than ran...

No body was ever found since we buried an empty casket so in the back of my mind I always felt that she could still be out there just waiting to be found. I'd busied my fingers with Oliver's collar as I counted the faint beats his pulse made upon my skin. His presence was like a soothing balm and I was more than willing to soak up every last ounce of him. He shifted beneath me so I glanced up his face appeared troubled so I spoke my voice sounded weary and torn. "Hey what's bothering you?" I traced my fingertips along the line of his face as he sighed into my touch.

"I was recalling something that Julie said a few months after you finally stopped those damn sessions..." He stopped speaking for a brief moment and then resumed when he'd found a way to say the words that appeared to be haunting his thoughts. "Lance blames you for Laurel but no one knew it was her who saved you...I mean yes the blood was her's but there was never a body...nor any evidence that she'd been harmed...so..."

I finished his statement because that too had left me haunted for the past year. "So why did he blame me for a death that he knew never occurred?" I sighed as my fingers resumed their earlier game of fiddling with the now upturned shirt collar. "I've been asking myself that for months and I still can't figure it out. Oliver?"

His voice was tight from worry but still gentle in response. "Yes Felicity?"

I swallowed and prepared for his next long drawn out tale. "How do you know John and why is your world safer now than one year ago? What are you still hiding from me and what does any of this have to do that the file that I downloaded from your servers today?"

He wasn't mad nor surprised as he placed a swift kiss to top of my head. "Laurel's in the city and for what reason I'm unsure. She's been working with a well known enemy of mine for the past year and John well he's a longer story."

I sighed before replying gently. "I have the time if you're willing to share.."

His last words made my heart melt. "i'll tell you whatever you want we're in this together now..."

With that he took a steely breath and spoke his past beginning to unravel before me in layers of black and grey.