SOY: I managed to restrain myself from posting this for exactly four days and a half, which is a record considering I had the chapter ready for that long...

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Rating: T

Warnings: second of a series of connected stories under the name 'Takane no Hana'. Fix-it fic for XXXHolic, takes place at the start of volume 14 of the manga. Will branch out of canon and move on from there.

Disclaimer: I do not own CLAMP manga.

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Ripples of Fate

Chapter 01 – The Meeting

Watanuki hummed softly under his breath as he dusted one of the tall shelves of Yuuko's treasure room.

He had started his usual cleaning from there, knowing full well how much dust could grow when one did nothing but shove stuff into one place without care, and so far he had not been disappointed.

Some of the objects Yuuko stashed away seemed to call dust like it was part of their nature, and it was hard for him to just wipe them clean instead of taking them out to rinse them like he'd do normally, but unfortunately Yuuko had other plans for him for the day, so he wouldn't have enough time to clean up everything as he wished he could.

The first thing she had told him when he woke up was that he would have to run an errand for her –quite literally, as he'd been awakened by her face hovering mere inches from his own, smirking and poking at his cheek with her pipe.

He was glad it was weekend, so he would have no problem becoming her errand boy for the day.

"You aren't coming, Yuuko-san?" he'd asked afterwards, wiping the sleep from his eyes and checking the paper with the address Yuuko had dropped on his lap.

"I have other things to do today," she had replied, smirking at him in a way that told him she would only wait a couple minutes after he was out of the store before lounging for the rest of the afternoon drinking sake. "This time you're on your own!"

"Wait, you're not telling me to bring Doumeki with me this time?"

"Why, if you want so much to be in his company, then please do call for him, Watanuki!" there was far too much glee in her expression, really. It grated to his nerves. "But there is no danger where I'm sending you, so it'll be fine".

He'd accepted her words with a small shrug, trusting her with the matter.

Of course he would not ask Doumeki for help, either –it was bad enough he kept finding himself indebted with Doumeki, but spending more time alone with him proved to be… difficult, lately. Watanuki kept trying to understand the weird, mixed feelings he felt while around him, which in turn made him feel even more awkward, and when he felt awkward Watanuki ended up making a fool out of himself, perhaps even more than normal.

"Nah, I'll pass and just go on my own," he had assured her. "What do I have to do?"

"You're going to receive payment for me," Yuuko had replied, looking quite smug.

"Ah? You had a client? When was that?" Watanuki was left confused, since there hadn't been any visits at the store in the past few days after that lady who wanted to learn how to cook.

That had been three days earlier, when Yuuko had surprised Watanuki by making him take a formal appointment with the woman; he would have to go to her house the following week for their first cooking lesson, and he'd been somewhat on edge since then.

"Last night, while you were sleeping, of course," Yuuko's smirk said it all. "Do you think the only clients coming here are those who enter through the door?"

Watanuki refrained to mention that if Yuuko did not tell him these things, it was a given he wouldn't think about it, because it would be pointless.

It also meant Watanuki had been tasked to go to someone's house on his own not just once, but twice in the course of a week period, which was… troubling.

The idea of going to the house of someone he did not know made him wary, and he was not sure it was even possible for him to be a teacher to begin with (Kohane didn't count, she wasn't a stranger). What if she was some sort of culinary disaster? Was it even ok for a high-schooler to teach a grown woman?

Besides… Watanuki paused in his cleaning and looked down at his hands.

Mokona had told him something, that day, which was still in his mind.

The body could remember even when the mind could not. His hands knew the motions of cooking, even when all he could remember were the recipes. He did not remember where he'd learned those recipes, though he wondered, idly, if his mother had taught them to him when he was little, or maybe even his father.

He took pride in cleaning and he'd always assumed it was because he had been living alone for so long, but now he wondered if that, too, was something he'd been taught to like.

Cleaning made him feel accomplished, though not as much as cooking did.

If these were things he'd learned before, they were somehow a connection with the life he could not remember.

Would he be able to share something this personal with someone he'd only met once? Would it work for him?

With a sigh, Watanuki pushed those troubling thoughts away and continued his cleaning spree. Yuuko had told him that he could leave anytime he wanted as long as he left before noon, since he would be expected, but he did not know the district of Asakusa. He thought to leave earlier, so he could search for the right address without being too late and come back as soon as possible.

It didn't take long to finish up the higher shelves, and after that he made sure Yuuko and Mokona had steamed fish and rice for lunch, not to mention lemon cake since he knew the two would complain afterwards if there was no dessert.

"I'm off!" Watanuki called out, standing on the door of the store and looking inside. Yuuko's head popped up from a nearby room.

"Have a safe trip!" she called out gleefully, and held out a cup of sake as a parting toast.

He glared at her, and hesitated for a moment, still unsure whether he wanted to go, and Yuuko hummed softly. "You can take the Kudakitsune if it makes you feel better," she told him, extending one arm towards him.

The pipe fox was curled around it, and he lunged out in the air, wrapping around Watanuki's neck comfortingly and giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Is it ok?" he asked, feeling already reassured just by the familiar weight of the fox on him.

"Just go," she waved him off. "Shoo, shoo!"

He snorted but did just that, quickly leaving the store's premises. Asakusa was not within walking distance, so he headed for the closest metro stop, clutching the paper with the address on it in one hand as he descended the steps to the underground station.

Since both store and school were close to his apartment, Watanuki never had the need to take the metro, and even when he went to the nearby district's school with Doumeki, he'd let him buy the tickets and check which line they'd have to get, so for a moment he was left baffled by the intersecting colours of all the metro lines various stops until he finally located where he was and bought a ticket to Asakusa. He did not remember ever having to leave his area, at least not before meeting Yuuko, so he decided to treat this trip as a bit of a holiday in order to feel less nervous about it.

The Kudakitsune was happily sleeping around his neck and nobody seemed to notice him as Watanuki got on the metro of the Ginza line, and for a moment he wondered if it was because the fox had some kind of notice-me-not charm or if it was because Watanuki himself slowly grew harder to notice.

If Yuuko had sent him off, it meant the people expecting him would be able to see him, at least, so that was good enough.

During the whole ride he kept glancing outside into the blackness of the metro tunnels, sometimes staring at the giant ads placed at the stops before looking towards the doors, watching people come and go.

All the while, he did not see a single creature or spirit anywhere.

The Asakusa district was far more crowded than what Watanuki was used to. There were people everywhere, and he belatedly realised it was because the district was famous for its temple, which he happened to pass by on his way to the address Yuuko had given him.

The Sensou-ji temple was one of the biggest ones Watanuki had seen so far, and it was packed with tourists and locals alike; he stopped to look from afar at one of the giant entrances to the temple area, and made a mental note to come back later for a visit since he was in the area.

He easily avoided the market street leading to the temple, which was a little too crowded for his tastes, but eyed the tourists and the various shops with wide eyes until the Kudakitsune tugged at his neck softly and made him move again.

The address he had been given was in the residential part of the district, close to the kitchenware shopping area, and Watanuki hesitated passing by it, feeling a strong urge to have a look around even if he did not want to buy anything, but ended up sighing to himself and moving on. He had to do something first, and if he managed to receive Yuuko's payment in time, maybe he could afford to have a look around.

Most of the residential area was comprised of rows of apartments that looked the same, and for a moment Watanuki despaired about finding the right one soon, but he soon realised that the address was that of a house, not an apartment building, and from that it was pretty easy to find the right one.

He made sure to check that the kanji carved in the nameplate of the house were the same as those on the note, and once he was satisfied he'd found the right place, he walked up to the front door and ringed the bell.

It was actually quite a nice-looking house, not too big but with a small garden surrounded by a tall wall and a wind chime hanging from a nearby window. Watanuki was actually curious to meet the person who lived in such a nice place.

When the door opened he took a step back, and was surprised to see… well, he didn't know what he had been expecting, but a middle-aged man with light grey hair and a small, warm smile was definitely not it.

"Ah, uhm… good morning!" Watanuki bowed deeply. "Forgive me for intruding, but I was sent here for… uh…" he faltered, realising that saying 'Yuuko's payment' out loud would have been weird, and swallowed. "Yuuko-san sent me," he amended.

There was a light surprise in the man's face, and he nodded, moving to the side. "Ah, of course. We were expecting someone to come today but I didn't think it would be… a student?"

Watanuki offered the man a small, sheepish smile. "Considering Yuuko-san, it could have been someone flashier".

The man looked a little confused, then chuckled softly. "I'll take your word on it… please, do come in".

Watanuki slipped out of his shoes and followed the man to a well-lit room with a couch and a couple armchairs, where his host had him sit down. "I was getting ready to prepare some tea, do you want any?"

Since he could not refuse without sounding impolite, Watanuki nodded, and the man left the room.

Watanuki chose this moment to look around, somewhat puzzled. Sure, most clients of Yuuko looked like normal people, but there was something about this person that made Watanuki puzzled, and at the same time, it was nothing bad. He looked normal, mostly. He could not feel anything weird coming from him or the things in the sitting room, and he wondered for the first time what could have been this person's wish.

There were photos neatly placed on a drawer in a corner, but not wanting to be nosy, Watanuki remained sitting where he was, choosing to pet the Kudakitsune's head instead until his host returned with a tray holding a teapot, two cups and a small dish of cookies.

"I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself," the man said, sitting in front of Watanuki and pouring them some steaming hot tea. "My name is Tsukishiro Yukito. We were not expecting anyone to come this soon, and Touya left for some commissions, so if you do not mind waiting for a bit for him to return…"

Watanuki waved his hands in front of him. "No, no, it's perfectly ok, Tsukishiro-san! I wasn't sure I would find your house at all, so I left the store early. I'm sorry to impose". He then straightened his back. "My name is Watanuki Kimihiro".

The teapot slipped a little from Yukito's hands, and the tea splashed out of the teacup and onto the surface of the coffee table, and Watanuki let out a distraught sound and looked around in search of something to help clean up the mess, eyes wide. "Ah–"

"Ah, excuse me, sometimes I end up being somewhat clumsy," Yukito replied quickly, standing up and smiling at Watanuki. "I'll go get something to clean up".

Watanuki watched him hurry out of the sitting room again, then looked down at the Kudakitsune, but Mugetsu was still sleeping around his neck, apparently undisturbed by the commotion, and he relaxed. He couldn't help feeling on edge, especially after what had happened with Kohane's mother, but Yuuko wouldn't have sent him into a dangerous situation and the fox also seemed calm, so…

He tried to relax a bit, and when Yukito came back and mopped up the tea, Watanuki held the cups up for him, receiving a small smile back.

"Tell me then, Watanuki-kun," the man started with a smile, clearly hoping to distract Watanuki from his earlier mishap, "how did you end up working for a person such as Yuuko-san?"

"Well, I'm just her part timer, really," he held the cup into his hands, enjoying the warmth. "I clean up around the store and cook, mostly".

"Oh, so… you do that kind of work, then," Yukito offered him a small smile. "Touya's a good cook too, but we do share the cleaning duties between the two of us".

"Oh, is he the person I was sent to meet?" Watanuki took out the slip of paper and checked the name again, which was indeed Kinomoto Touya. "Yuuko-san said that… uhm, Kinomoto-san would have something for her".

"Please, he would be uncomfortable if you were to call him that way –that is his father's name. Touya will be fine. As for myself, Tsukishiro-san makes me feel old, so if you don't mind, Yukito is better".

Watanuki nodded at the request, but was still unsure. How much did the man know about Yuuko? Most of her clients ended up being somewhat clueless as to what her shop really was, and though she often offered things in exchange for wishes, he had noticed a lot of the customers ended up gladly ignoring the obvious in order to fool themselves.

In a way, Watanuki had been like that at first, but was starting to notice he had changed, just like the old lady fortune teller had said. He noticed more things, he didn't assume as much as he did back then.

"I wanted to ask… does your friend eat food?" Yukito asked then, and Watanuki's eyes widened in surprise.

Yuuko had said that normal people with no powers were easily fooled by Mokona's appearance, and thought he was just a stuffed toy, and with the way nobody had noticed Mugetsu's presence in the metro, he had thought he would be the same, so…

Did that mean this man had some kind of power?

"Ah, no, well… Mugetsu doesn't need to eat at all, but–" hearing his own name, the pipe fox blinked sleepily and stretched, shuffling a little from around Watanuki's neck, obviously unconcerned about being seen. "Sometimes he likes to nibble on things".

"I'd say it would be a waste if he did not try one of the cookies Touya baked," Yukito replied with a smile, then picked one of the smaller ones from the tray and offered it to the pipe fox.

Watanuki shyly smiled back, and watched as Mugetsu unrolled from his neck and sniffed cookie, nibbling at it and making delighted squeaky noises.

"Please, there is no need to be so tense." Yukito had obviously noticed his posture. "I know it was probably a sudden thing to be asked to collect payment from someone you've never met, but–"

"No, no, I… I mean…" Watanuki flailed for a moment, embarrassed that his tension was read so easily. "I, uh… the last time I've been at someone's house something bad happened, so I guess part of me is just a little tense, that's all".

Yukito seemed perturbed at that, but Watanuki did not want to disclose such personal things about Kohane's mother, so he changed the subject to something else instead, and complimented the man about the house.

The atmosphere eased up after that, though, and surprisingly Watanuki found himself chatting with Yukito about the man's high school days, and he had a lot of anecdotes to share, especially about the other man, Touya. When the front door clicked open, not even an hour later, Yukito was in the middle of an amusing story that had Watanuki almost in tears.

The man turned towards the door, interrupting his retelling, and the soft, fond smile on his lips made Watanuki tilt his head to the side in surprise.

"Touya, welcome back," Yukito called out, and the person shuffling into the room offered a quiet 'I'm back', followed by a grunt. "There is a guest–"

Watanuki watched the man who had been Yuuko's customer come into view. Again, he was left surprised because the second man, the actual customer, looked just as normal as Yukito.

The man called Touya was quite tall, and had groceries bags in both hands, but the moment he noticed Watanuki he froze in place, eyes meeting Watanuki's from the other end of the room.

"Ah, uhm, good morning! I'm Watanuki Kimihiro," Watanuki stood up and bowed, and the Kudakitsune squeaked softly. "I was sent here by Yuuko-san".

"… I see".

Touya looked over at Yukito, exchanging a silent conversation before the latter walked over and took the bags from Touya's hands.

"Please sit down again," he said, carrying the bags out of the sitting room, and Watanuki felt the awkward atmosphere return as Touya walked towards him and sat down, taking Yukito's place.

"Uhm… as… as I was telling Yukito-san earlier, I'm Yuuko-san's part timer. She sent me to collect something from you and…" Watanuki trailed off, unsure what to say.

"What was Yukito telling you? I could hear laughing from outside," Touya said instead of acknowledging his words, and Watanuki flushed beet red.

"I, uh–"

"I was telling him about the time you participated to a high school play," Yukito resurfaced with another cup for Touya, and Touya bristled a bit. Much to Watanuki's amusement, Touya looked obviously embarrassed at this.

"Of all things you tell our guest, that had to be the first…" Touya rubbed the bridge of his nose, and poured himself some tea.

"Ah, but that wasn't the first one at all!" Yukito smiled brightly, tapping his index against his chin. "First I told him about the time you brought home that stray puppy, and then–"

"Oh my God," Touya's cheeks were even redder, and Watanuki watched their interactions with a small smile.

He wondered if this was how Himawari saw him and Doumeki, and that thought made his stomach do a weird sort of flip-flop, so he decided not to think too much about it.

"You just wait, if you've been telling incriminating things to a high schooler, then you asked for a fight, since I have a lot of dirty stuff to dig up about you," Touya poked Yukito in the shoulder, looking incredibly smug, and Watanuki couldn't help himself –he chuckled.

Instantly, both men looked at him, and he covered his mouth with one hand. "Ah, I'm sorry!"

He hadn't meant to laugh, but the scene had been… familiar. This kind of teasing, the ease the two had with each other, Watanuki had felt like he was watching himself interact with Yuuko and Mokona and Himawari and Doumeki, so instead of keeping his distance, he'd found himself laughing along. With the two men's attention on him though, he felt a wave of embarrassment and looked down, taking a sip of his tea.

Touya and Yukito exchanged a look, but they were still smiling when Watanuki dared to glance at them, so he felt a little better about his slip up.

"I'm sorry," Watanuki smiled sheepishly over the edge of his cup. "I wasn't laughing at you but… I was reminded of my friends".

"Good friends, I hope," Touya's tone came out a little bit more aggressive than expected, but instead of being taken aback, Watanuki found himself nodding along.

"Yeah," he admitted softly.

"I think I've shared enough stories on my own," Yukito decided with a smile. "So before Touya decides to take up on his threat and embarrass me until I can't look anyone in the face, why don't you tell us a bit about your friends, too?"

Watanuki knew the two were just trying to make some small talk and dispel the tension, but he could see they were actually interested, and he allowed himself to share some stories of his own, perhaps a bit too eagerly.

He didn't even realise it when he moved from a simple school-related story to one of his adventures with spirits, and was met with casual acceptance instead of ridicule. Both Yukito and Touya were, apparently, able to a certain extent to see spiritual beings, though Touya admitted their powers were not too strong.

"There are many like us around," Yukito explained to a surprised Watanuki. "After a while, you start to create your own network of people. It is easier to deal with things that nobody else sees, and it helps a lot if you need something specific that otherwise you wouldn't be able to attain".

"Ah…" Watanuki thought about himself, about Yuuko, then about Kohane and the old lady fortune teller, not to mention that man he'd given the bird cage to, and nodded. "I guess you're right," he admitted. "Is that why you contacted Yuuko-san?"

He seemed to realise too late that he'd just asked a very personal question, because he hastily brought both hands up and apologized profusely. "I didn't mean to pry! Please forget I asked!"

"Well, I can't say you are wrong. I had a wish, and the only person who could grant it was the Witch of Dimensions, as she's the most powerful magic user around," Touya replied with a shrug. "We consulted with a lot of other… specialists, but none were able to help".

Watanuki nodded; he could understand that. Yuuko might be underhanded most of the time, and an alcoholic to boot, but she knew what she was onto.

"I guess it is about time we give you the payment to bring to Yuuko-san," Touya said, his tone serious, and Watanuki instantly sobered.

Much to his shock, both Touya and Yukito reached for their hands, each of them removing a small, simple golden ring from their fingers, and placed them in front of Watanuki, who looked down at the unassuming gold and then up at them, unable to understand.

"Your… rings?"

"The payment consisted in something of the same emotional value as the wish itself. She asked specifically for our marriage rings," Touya stated.

Watanuki looked from one man to the other. "You are married?" he asked, feeling silly. "With who…?"

Yukito couldn't help himself, and started to chuckle, one hand covering his mouth. "Heard that, Touya? He asked who you're married to… as if there was anyone else who could stand your morning grumpiness and your bad jokes!"

He looked so honestly amused, and even Touya was smiling, and it took Watanuki a few seconds for his words to click; his entire face turned beet red in embarrassment. "Ah! I–"

Touya's lips curled up in a smirk. "Yes, sorry to disappoint kid, but we're married. To each other. Have been for over twenty years now, and these rings are proof of that".

Eyes wide, Watanuki stared down at the two rings with renewed surprise.

Twenty years was… a very long time to be married with someone, and while the shock of realising the two men were married to each other was quick to disappear, as he should have expected it from the way they acted with one another, and from the soft, fond smile Yukito had sported when Touya had returned home, it was more of a shock knowing they were willing to part with rings that meant so much to them for the sake of a wish.

"Was your wish worth parting with something this… precious?" he asked, not daring to reach out to touch the rings.

They felt too personal, too important, and in a way he felt guilty because he'd been sent there to collect them.

Touya waited until Watanuki looked up, then nodded, and he looked at peace with himself. "Yes," he replied. "It was worth that, and more".

Yukito nodded along, one hand pressed on Touya's arm. "In the end, the rings are just a symbol. The feelings remain, they have not been lost".

Watanuki swallowed, feeling oddly touched by this casual support, and watched as Touya picked the rings up and placed them both inside a small satchel and handed it to him.

"Here," he said. "Don't lose them".

"I… I would never!" Watanuki hurried to take the small, precious bundle and secured it inside his pocket, realising too late he'd replied like he would have done with Doumeki, and he instantly felt bad. "I mean… I'll make sure Yuuko-san receives those".

Touya was smirking again, and Watanuki had to pause and think about why he felt so comfortable around the two, enough to forget about property so easily.

He absently picked up one of the cookies that the Kudakitsune was still feasting upon, turning it in his hands before bringing it up to his lips; he was still thinking about the importance of this payment.

The cookie had a distinct smell of chocolate and something homey to it that made Watanuki smile, and before he could stop himself, he reached forwards to take a second cookie from the platter and away from Mugetsu's reach.

Since he had realised he couldn't taste food, Watanuki had tried not to pay any attention when he ate, because the dissonance between smells and the moment when he put things in his mouth seemed to blur together and dissolve into each other. He knew he ate, but he couldn't remember the taste of anything he put into his mouth, unless it came from the spirits like the kitsune oden, and even then the taste was fleeting, but smells… smells were strong, and they were good, and he could easily get lost in them.

These cookies… they smelled delicious. If he closed his eyes, he could almost feel the taste of them on his tongue, like a familiar flavour, though it was just his wishful thinking. The smell was also familiar –it reminded him of waking up in the morning a little bit earlier than usual just to bake his personal cookie recipe to share them with Himawari and Doumeki and Yuuko and Mokona.

They smelled just the same.

"Is there something wrong?" Touya frowned.

From the moment Touya had returned home and met the sight of the gangly, thin teenager in his sitting room with Yukito, having tea, he had been unable to look away from him for more than a few seconds.

He had recognised the kid instantly –there was something about him that was distinctly Sakura and Shaoran. Not in his appearance, and that had come as a shock despite Yuuko's warning during the dream meeting. No, it was something different that he could feel.

That kid was family. He was Sakura's son –the soul that had been born because of his other nephew's desire to save another Sakura, the kid who had been left behind, the kid Touya could save– and Touya had known it the moment he saw him.

His mannerisms, his politeness, a few quirks he had –that had only strengthened that certainty that this was Sakura and Shaoran's son, and if there might have been any suspicion that Yuuko had lied, this would have been proof of the opposite.

This kid –Kimihiro, Touya wanted to call him that but he couldn't, not when they barely knew each other– had honest, spontaneous reactions to things. He'd barely seemed to care about the tea, but the way he looked at the cookies, like they meant something, even closing his eyes to sniff them, that was such a Sakura thing to do that Touya felt a pang of old, unburied grief.

The desire to break the price for his wish and just tell Watanuki everything was stronger than he'd thought it would be before, when Touya hadn't seen the kid yet, but he had been patient for many years, and with Yukito at his side, their hands clenched under the coffee table where Watanuki couldn't see it, Touya's desire slowly subsided a bit, until he was able to relax.

It wouldn't have worked, anyway –these things were out of his hands, entangled deeper than just mere wishes and human desires– but he would have paid a worse price for even trying.

Watanuki was startled out of his thoughts and looked up, fretting for a moment and almost losing his grip on both the cookie and the cup of tea. "Ah, no no! Everything is fine! It's just that this cookie has truly a good smell!"

Touya smirked. "Just the smell?"

He noticed instantly the way Watanuki seemed to tense at his attempted joke, fidgeting a bit before placing the teacup down, though –Touya saw– he still kept the cookie in his hand.

"No, of course, these are really nice cookies," Watanuki replied. There was an air of… reticence around him, but Touya couldn't really understand what that was about. "Mugetsu seems to enjoy them very much, too".

"It's a family recipe," Yukito replied with a smile.

Touya glanced over at his husband, offering him a grateful look: Yukito had always been good at diffusing situations, and his easy, honest smile seemed to break through the heavier of moods.

It was the same this time too, because Watanuki looked over at him. "Oh? Do you maybe use–" he rattled over a few ingredients with the kind of practiced ease of someone who knew his way around the kitchen.

"Ah, I wouldn't really know, I just like to eat them! It's Touya's recipe," Yukito pointed proudly at him, and Touya, with a start, realised what he was trying to do, and his eyes widened a bit.

He had no idea what sort of leeway he could have with the wish's boundaries, but he did not really want to test them, not when he'd just met his nephew.

"Yes," Touya found himself replying anyway. "Usually you'd bake them for a set amount, but my father taught me to leave them in for a little bit longer, so they get extra crispy and the chocolate melts better, and I cover them with honey and egg yolk before putting them in the oven".

"Ah, that's how I do them too," Watanuki nodded, apparently satisfied. "Makes the taste stand out pretty well, and even that oaf Doumeki seems to like them that way –that guy is a bottomless pit, really, he'd eat everything and–"

Touya watched Watanuki go on a spontaneous rant about some guy whose name Touya did not care to remember, and felt a tug in his chest; it was such a small thing, but to hear one of his own father's recipes so casually mentioned by Watanuki…

There were things that apparently remained with him, even without his memories.

Watanuki at first had meant to refuse Touya and Yukito's offer to stop for lunch, but one look at Yukito's disappointed face made him reconsider; the two men were nice enough, and by lunchtime he had relaxed enough around them that he felt like their welcome wasn't just meant as politeness, but as honest desire to keep him around for whatever reason.

He guessed they were just not used to having anyone around, and perhaps the fact that he, just like them, had dealings with spirits made things easier.

Lunch was, in fact, more enjoyable than he'd thought; Touya was the one who cooked most of the time, just as Yukito had said, and he usually refused to have others interfere, but Watanuki did not like being offered food without helping at least a little, so he had managed to worm his way into the man's kitchen to help with some food.

He was blissfully unaware of the fond look Touya sent his way when he easily prepared row after row of perfectly shaped onigiri, but he also missed the confused frown when Watanuki followed easily some recipes that would have required him to taste the food without actually doing that, and yet the food came out perfect, just as always.

Yukito managed to sneak a few more tales during lunch, too, and Touya added his own until Watanuki was laughing while clutching his stomach with both hands, trying to keep a dignified aura but failing miserably, and the two men dissolved into practiced, fond squabbles over the kitchen table.

There was no other way to explain this feeling than to say he felt like he 'fit' in, and Watanuki wondered what it was about people with similar powers that made him feel so comfortable; still, he almost felt bad when afterwards he hesitantly stood up, excusing himself by saying he needed to leave and bring the payment to Yuuko, and the disappointed expressions of the two did seem genuine.

"Ah, I wanted to visit the temple before leaving but now if I don't hurry I'll miss laundry and I won't have enough time to prepare dinner," he murmured to himself while Touya and Yukito also stood up.

"You mean the Sensou-ji?"

"Y-yeah, I have never visited it before… and Kappabashi too…" he ruffled his hair in an excessive show of regret. "Too bad I can't find the time for a visit!"

Yukito nudged Touya gently, who looked back at him with a frown, not getting what Yukito was trying to tell him, so Yukito rolled his eyes and tapped Watanuki on the shoulder, attracting his attention.

"We do live in the area," he said with a smile when Watanuki looked up at him, "so if you want, we can schedule for next week and we can take you around on a tour, what do you think?"

Eyes wide, Watanuki looked at both him and an equally surprised Touya. "A-are you sure? Wouldn't I be imposing?"

"No, you wouldn't," Touya interjected, shaking his head. "Yuki offered it. We wouldn't mind at all".

"Ah… I would have to see with Yuuko-san to have a day off, so… uh…" fretting a bit, Watanuki did not know what to say, the blunt offer leaving him unprepared.

"Here, let me write our number down," Yukito moved to the side, and grabbed a pen and a spare piece of paper. "If you think you can free yourself, you can give us a call. We've met under… weird circumstances, so I can understand if you do not want to accept, but…"

"But there is no coincidence in this world," Watanuki murmured. "Just hitsuzen. Yuuko-san always says that". He extended his arm, looking serious and a little bit pale. "I'll call you to let you know when I'm free," he promised.

And that, Touya knew, was everything he could hope for.

Watanuki blinked. He was standing in front of the Sensou-ji's main gate, the Kaminarimon, which he had passed by earlier while going to Touya's house.

The area was empty, none of the people Watanuki had seen before were around, and the shops looked eerie like this, as if abandoned.

He walked down the street, looking from one side to the other, observing the various stands that were set up on both sides. It did look like every single person had just walked away from the place, leaving behind food with steam still raising from the cooking grills, but it offered Watanuki a moment to observe everything without being pushed and shoved around by the crowd.

At the end of the street there was the main temple building, and next to it the Shinto Shrine dedicated to the three founders of the temple. The lack of tourists did not make the buildings any less imposing to him, and the moonlight actually made the whole place look even more ethereal.

"You've had quite a good day, today".

He blinked and turned around, greeting Doumeki's grandfather with a small smile.

"Why am I here?" he asked, looking back at the temple and motioning to the general area.

"Well, this place is a temple. It's a concentration of purifying energy, so it is no wonder it would call for you," Haruka replied, slowly walking until he was at Watanuki's side. "That aside, it is quite beautiful, so it must have made an impression on you, enough for you to find yourself here in your dreams".

"I don't really know how to move around dreams like you do, Haruka-san," Watanuki turned from the temple to the other man. "But I can't complain".

He told Haruka about Yuuko's order, and the morning he'd spent with the two men in Asakusa.

"Did you have fun?"

Watanuki didn't have to think about it. "Yeah, Yukito-san and Touya-san were really nice," he admitted. "I wonder what kind of wish they had for Yuuko-san, but it wouldn't be right to ask".

Haruka chuckled at that, and patted his shoulder. "I don't think it is important, as long as they were happy about it," he said, and his smile widened. "And I think they are".

His words reassured Watanuki a bit. For the little time he'd spent with the two, he'd felt they were good people, and he hoped they would not regret their wish –not like so many other customers of Yuuko.

"They invited me to go back," he admitted, looking at Haruka. "After I said I would have liked to visit this temple, they offered to give me a tour".

"And you accepted?" there was no disappointment in Haruka's tone, just encouragement, and Watanuki felt a knot he hadn't been able to name dissolve from inside his chest.

"Ah… yes, I did. I know Yuuko-san always tells me not to act without thinking, and that I get myself in a lot of trouble because of that, but…"

"You wanted to go," Haruka finished for him. He was still smiling indulgently, and Watanuki nodded shyly. "It is not a bad thing to indulge yourself when you want to do things, you know," he said, looking away from Watanuki to stare at the temple in front of them. "You didn't feel anything bad coming from them, and your pipe fox also seemed fine in their company, so you decided to trust them".

"… yes".

"And yet, you are still afraid you might have made a mistake," Haruka continued, and at Watanuki's defeated nod, he smiled indulgently. "I think you have grown to be more sensible to things. You worry more about yourself, and about others, and it makes me glad… but sometimes you have to trust your instincts".

Watanuki hummed under his breath and looked down at his hands.

This was, in the end, the principle of it all, wasn't it? What he had been worried about, all this time.

"I don't think my instincts are right most of the time," he replied quietly, feeling like he was confessing something shameful. "Mokona said… that the body can remember even if the mind can't, so it should mean I choose instinctively things that I'm familiar with, things that I can do well, like cooking, or cleaning. And Yuuko said that trusting one's feelings is important. And yet… I got close to Himawari, even though she was bad for me. I don't regret it! I would never!" he hastily added, clenching his hands "but I ignored all the signs because I thought I wanted to be at her side regardless. And… and when I'm around Doumeki, I keep rejecting it, even though I know for a fact that his presence helps with spirits, and that he's always helped me out, and sacrificed so much for that, too… and…" he could think a dozen different times when he'd picked the wrong thing for himself, times he should have known better, and it was so frustrating to think about now.

"You do know, looking back, that some of those choices ended badly for you," Haruka interrupted his swirling thoughts, and he nodded. "But some of them did not. Kunogi-kun is still your friend, and your bond is stronger now, because you accepted her and her bad luck, even as she was trying to push you away to help you. And now you still want to be at her side, and find ways so that she won't affect you too badly, right?"

Watanuki nodded, though he did not understand where the conversation was going.

"Some choices are not bad nor good. They are just choices that you make," Haruka continued, the same gentle smile still on his lips. It was the sort of reassuring, grandfatherly face that made it so obvious how Haruka and Doumeki were not the same person. Sometimes Watanuki still wondered how a similar smile would look on Doumeki's face, but the thought felt weird, almost like it was not his own. "It's the result that makes the difference. If in the end your friendship with Kunogi-kun was strengthened, and you survived, maybe it was not bad. It was just something you chose for yourself. You walked through the consequences and changed thanks to it. Your friendship with my grandson is the same…"

Watanuki opened his mouth to say something –deny the fact that he and Doumeki were friends, maybe, he did not know– but then he stopped, and felt a wave of embarrassment flood him.

Why was it so easy for him to deny everything Doumeki had done for him, under the pretence that he hadn't asked for it? Just because his attitude grated to his nerves, just because he felt slighted… that still did not erase the actions he'd taken to help him.

It was just as he'd told Haruka –part of him knew something was wrong, but he chose not to act on it. He was also ignoring something important, trying only half-heartedly to figure it out.

"So… you're saying that even if I made some choices that were not really the best, as long as the result hasn't hurt me, then they can't be bad choices?"

"Your choices define you for who you are, Watanuki," Haruka said, and his eyes were serious. "If you let yourself change to reflect your choices, what comes out of it is a new you. Sometimes this is good, sometimes not. But Change in itself is not a bad thing. Sometimes choices can hurt others. Sometimes what you think is right might not be right for others, but the responsibility for your choice is yours alone to bear. Sometimes your choices are for the best, but you can't see that at first. It is only something you will find out in the long run".

Watanuki sighed.

It was hard. Choosing knowing that every choice would bring change –it was scary. But scarier was the thought of never changing. Never changing would have meant, for him, to continue being alone as before. Not meeting Yuuko. Not befriending Himawari.

Even keeping his distance from Doumeki, and it would be a lie to say that thought didn't make him unsettled.

Disappearing without anyone there.

Watanuki felt his surroundings fade, and he looked around in shock. The temple grounds were gone, and now he was standing in front of the river, one of the routes he used to take to go to school. The sky was dark, murky with clouds, the air heavy with the smell of rain, but it wasn't raining in the dream.

He stiffened, and unconsciously took a step away from the river, and bumped into Haruka's body.

"What…"

Doumeki's grandfather placed one hand on his back to steady him. "Your thoughts shifted us here".

Watanuki looked to the river, staring at the water in silence. The scene was too familiar, too eerie, called back from his memories.

"Why does it look like–"

Smoke lifted from the water of the river, taking a shape as it moved towards him slowly, a cat emerging from the smoke until it curled around Watanuki's feet. Its fur was wet, and it was purring softly, but loud enough for Watanuki to hear as he stood there frozen, eyes wide.

"I… how is…"

Haruka knelt down on the ground, and the cat moved towards him, allowing the man to lift it up in his arms, but the cat kept his eyes on Watanuki.

Watanuki felt a vertigo hit him, but he closed his eyes and pressed both palms on his eyes, breathing deeply until the vertigo left him.

He remembered.

He remembered finding the cat washed into the edge of the river from the water, and remembered holding its body into his arms, but it was too late. The cat had died already. It had died alone, forgotten.

Watanuki remembered that moment, and how helpless he had felt, holding the cold, wet body to his chest. Thinking that he would also die like that, with absolute certainty and without feeling anything connected with it other than that.

It hadn't been a good day. He didn't remember the circumstances anymore, his memories faded with time, but he remembered the helplessness, the hopelessness, and the certainty that one day, a monster would wrap itself around him, and he would disappear from this world.

And nobody would care.

It had been such a certainty, that was all he could remember –and he hadn't thought it would be too bad, then. Just something that would eventually happen. This thought filled him with dread now, but he'd never thought twice about it before.

It was absurd, but now Watanuki could see clearly what everybody had meant by telling him that he had changed.

Watanuki was trembling, and it took him a second to realise he was fighting back tears, hands clenched into his arms, fingers digging into the skin. He could feel the pain of it, which was weird since he was in a dream.

The cat was still looking at him, and so was Haruka –a soft, warm gaze that held no pity, just understanding, as if he knew exactly what he had been thinking.

"But…" Watanuki swallowed, his mouth dry. "I'm not… I'm not alone anymore now".

"No, you are not".

He extended one hand towards the cat, slowly, and it did not move away from his touch, actually leaning in. The fur was warm under his hand, not as wet as it seemed, and the vibrations he felt under his palm were calming.

"Is this cat…?"

"It is a spirit," Haruka replied, looking down at the animal. "Your strong emotions made it come from the river. Maybe it was your distress that called it, or maybe it's always been waiting here, hoping to see you. Cats have powers that humans can't fully understand".

Watanuki felt warmth spread inside him, the cat's purring the only sound around them, comforting and gentle. "Thank you," he said, his voice oddly choked. "For coming to check on me".

The cat nudged its head against his hand one last time, and Watanuki felt some sort of nudge in the back of his mind, a fleeting touch that was not human, but that did not scare him at all. It was just a single thought, and it wasn't even expressed with words, but he understood it all the same. Thank you for having been there. Thank you for crying for me.

The cat wriggled out of Haruka's arms, and after rubbing itself against Watanuki's leg in a quiet goodbye it walked towards the water again, dissolving back into smoke and disappearing from sight.

Watanuki took a shaky breath, and smiled at Haruka, who was still hovering at his side.

"Your choice to continue believing in your reality within a dream," Haruka said, gently nudging Watanuki away from the waterside "it might cause you some pain in the future, but based on how many people want you to keep existing, I can tell you, Watanuki, that it is not a bad choice. Step by step, your choice brings you one way instead of another. Sometimes it's scary to notice things, but being honest with yourself is better than the alternative".

Watanuki was startled to hear him say that, because not too long before, he'd told himself that there was nothing wrong with lying to himself, even if just for a bit.

He nodded, feeling chastised and tired and drained, and then chuckled.

In the end, it was all a matter of choices, and he knew, from the smell of cookies that he could almost taste, like a faded memory not truly forgotten, that this was a choice he'd already made.

"I think I'll go," he murmured, more to himself than to Haruka. "I want to see these two again".

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he was in his bed, Yuuko's guest room covered in a blanket of darkness around him.

"I think I will go see them again," he murmured into the silence of the empty room.

Outside the room, her back pressed against the wall, Yuuko smiled.

…–…–…–…–…–…

Glossary:

Asakusa – famous district in Tokyo, it's both a residential and a touristic area.

Sensou-ji – oldest Buddhist temple in Tokyo, dedicated to the Bodhisattva Kannon.

Kudakitsune – original word for the pipefox.

Nakamise-douri – a street that leads to the Sensou-ji, it's filled with shops on both sides of the walkway.

Kappabashi – (also referred as Kappabashi-dougugai) a commercial street dedicated to kitchenware and the like, quite famous in Tokyo, the entrance has a huge tacky statue of a man in stereotypical cooking gear.

Kaminarimon – the main gate entrance to the Sensou-ji temple. The other inner entrance is called Houzoumon.