Chapter 3

I tried to be quiet walking up to the cell because I didn't know what her reaction to seeing me would be.

But I was not the only one visiting.

As I came closer I saw that Snow was sitting outside of the cell on the floor, but her hands were fully inside the cell and she was holding onto Emma.

I couldn't make out what they were saying, but as I got closer I was able see the entire room, which was completely demolished.

It looked as though a tornado had hit, and most of the wooden furniture was turned over, clothes thrown about and even some food on the floor.

"Shhh , it's okay honey. Please just eat something. And let me in there, I just want to hold you. To help clean up." I hear Snow tell Emma, but I cannot hear her response.

"I know you didn't mean to do what you did. It wasn't you." She tries to soothe her daughter, and for a moment I wanted to leave, to let them have their private moment.

But then I hear her Emma sob, and I couldn't bear to walk away from her.

I was drawn to her, and I just could not fight it, so I slowly make my way forward.

"Mom you didn't see… what I did… I hurt her. How could I ever think I would be okay to see Henry? I don't deserve it, I don't deserve to see you either." She says in a strained voice but I hear it clearly because I am much closer now.

"No honey, you will get better. I promise. We will never leave you alone." Snow says to her, pulling her daughter as close as she could.

"She will never forgive me, I don't want her to." Emma says, her voice growing stronger. "They need to stay away, mom you need to keep them away from me. I cannot face them; I don't want to see her anymore. I just… I can't" Emma says.

"No!" It comes out rushed as I move closer to the bars, although I hadn't intended on being caught like that.

They both jump at my voice and Emma is at her feet in an instant, and turns her face away from me.

"Emma" I say walking closer as I see her trying to frantically wipe her face and control her breathing.

I go to reach for her through the bar when I feel Snow grab my hand.

"Regina, what are you doing here?" Snow asks, but before I can answer her, "I don't think it's a good idea to be here right now." She tells me, slowly pulling me away from her daughter.

I let her pull me because I don't want know what to say at that moment.

I pull my hand back from her but follow her away from the cell and around the corner.

"Snow, I didn't mean to intrude, but I need to see her." I say looking down at her, but she is not looking at my face, she is looking at my body instead, my neck and my arms.

"Where are they? The bruises, I mean. Emma told me what happened." She says as she starts to life my sleeve, but I quickly pull away.

"She told you… everything?" I say surprised, as I look over her head and back to the cell.

"Well not everything… but I know that she attacked you. Oh Regina, are you alright? I don't understand. She was doing so well, you know?" Snow says to me and this time I have to look her in the eye.

"She was, but something happened… between her and Red, but I was not there. Then when I returned things turned for the worst." I say looking down, somehow ashamed that I wasn't able to control the situation.

"Oh it's not your fault Regina. But she blames herself. I don't think you should see her." Snow tells me and I understand why, but I just do not care.

"I know she does not wish to see me, but I have to see her. I have to make her understand." I tell her as I start to walk closer.

She pulls me back again by grabbing my arm and this time I do flinch at the pain, she pulls back immediately.

"I'm sorry!" she looks guilty when I turn back to her.

"I used magic to heal most of the bruises, but they are still tender… I may have hurt myself further after Ruby and I left the cell. It's not all Emma's doing." I confess to her.

"Oh no, why would you..?" she starts to ask but stops when she sees the tears in my eyes that I had been trying to hold back.

"Oh Regina" I look up at her when she uses that tone, and then quickly look away, a single tear betraying me by falling down my cheek.

"When did this happen? There is something different about you." She says as she steps closer, and I have to look over her shoulder to make sure that Emma cannot hear us.

"What are you talking about?" I feign ignorance, although I believe I know what she is insinuating.

"Right now, the way you were looking at her, in the cell, and even now. Something has changed. Do you… do you have feelings for my daughter?" She asks in an even more hushed voice.

"Snow!" I warn her, stepping further from her and the cell, I even think of running away from a moment.

"No Regina, I know the look of love, unconditional love. And the way you looked at her earlier, the way you reached for her. It was like you didn't even know you were doing it." she says to me, coming closer as she speaks until she has me again the wall behind me.

What is it about these damn people today, backing me into a corner?

But I do not push her back, how could I? She was right, that damn Snow White was so much more perceptive then she let on.

I try to hold back another tear, but it falls as I look up and close my eyes.

I will not break down in front of her; I am to be the strong one here, the Evil Queen for god's sake

At least that's what I believe until I feel her soft hand brush away my cheek.

I take in a deep breath because for a moment I thought she was going to slap me and tell me to stay away from her precious daughter.

But instead she dries my tears, and as I look at her I see that she has her own tears matching mine and a small smile on her face.

"Snow?" I question.

"Oh Regina, it's all starting to make sense. For so many years I wanted to be you when you were my step-mother, I looked up to you. I always thought you were so beautiful and loving, but I was a young and naïve girl. I never knew all the pain you were in, and then when you killed daddy I thought I could never forgive you. Then we were enemies, and then we were here. So much has happened. And in all that time I never realized that I had always loved you Regina, and did you know that it was Emma who made me understand why you had done the things you did?" she asks me, and I could only nod no.

I had no clue that they had even spoken to each other about me.

"It was after Robin had left with who we thought was Marian, and Emma was just so upset. She said it wasn't fair that you were always sacrificing your happiness for others; she said she didn't understand how anyone could call you evil anymore. We were alone one night and she told me how selfless you had been, and how it had broken her own heart. She told me about all the memories you gave her with Henry, and how you were a good person and you loved Henry with every fiber of your being. And that's when I realized that I had been blind all those years… because maybe I didn't want to see it. Maybe I didn't want to see what my father was doing to you because then I would have to admit that he was not the man I thought he was." She takes a moment, and pulls back a bit, but takes my hand in hers.

"But you never deserved it, you had deserved to be with Daniel, to be happy and in love." She says and I just let out a gasp that I had been holding in. I couldn't believe she was saying all of this; after all these years.

I hold her hand tightly as she continues.

"I messed up back then, and I was young and foolish, but Regina. I am not that kid anymore, and the way you looked at Emma. That was love, and I just want you to know… I am okay with it. Actually I couldn't think of a better person to love my daughter." She's smiling at me again, but then she turns sad.

"But now that she's the dark one, oh Regina, I just don't know. We haven't made any progress, and she's attacked you. I can't believe you came back. I'm sorry you know she would never mean to hurt you." She says and looks as lost as I feel.

"I know she wouldn't Snow. She's battling her own demons and we will have to do everything we can." I look her in the eyes as I try to show the sincerity in what I'm about to say.

"I will do everything I can because you are right Snow, I …." I look down, trying to find the courage, and then look back up at her, "I love your daughter so very much. I cannot explain it, but I do, so much more than I even thought possible. We will get her back." I tell her and see her face crumble as she pulls me into a fierce hug that I immediately return.

It felt so good to tell her, and to have her accept me, I never thought it would be this easy. Not to say that it was easy, but I never thought that Snow would be on board with it.

We pull back after a moment and I quickly wipe my face feeling embarrassed for a second at my brazen show of emotion.

Snow just smiles at me and I see that I have definitely lifted her spirits. It's quite infectious and I find myself smiling as well, even with this horrible situation that we are in.

"I have to say that this is the best thing that's happened to us in a long while. It gives me hope Regina, so I thank you. But I just have one question…"

"Yes?"

"How did this happen? I mean with you and Emma, because if I'm honest, I think she may be in love with you too. You didn't see her when I found her. She was completely devastated." She says, and I know I would never be able to explain the events of the past few months.

"Let's just say that I think it was a long time coming, and I am just happy to finally realize it." I tell her, and she looks back over her shoulder at Emma, who is now sitting on a mattress that is on the floor and rocking herself back and forth.

"It's not going to be easy, but I won't stop you from seeing her." Snow tells me looking back at me.

"As if you could" I say back more cheekily, but then smile at her.

"Right, well I will leave you to it. I got her to eat a few bites earlier but she's just refusing. Be gentle with her, she's just so… fragile." She says looking back at her daughter once more and then starting to walk away, but I grab her hand once more.

"I promise Snow, I will, always." I tell her and I know she believes me as she squeezes my hand and then walks off.

…

As I walk closer I can hear Emma mumbling something to herself as she rocks back and forth.

I don't make myself known for a few minutes as I take her in.

We had made some progress when I was with her, but I can tell that she probably has not eaten since that morning, and now it had to be maybe a day or two later?

It's hard to tell how long I am gone between realities but I know that it wasn't very long this time, not longer than a day at most.

I try to get as close as I can without startling her and that's when I hear it.

"It's not real, you're not real… It's not real, you're not really… you're not really here. I have control. It's not real…." She just keeps repeating this mantra to herself.

This is what she must have been saying to herself all those times when she would shy away from me, from all of us and back herself into a corner of the cell.

What could I do? Was she having hallucinations? I don't remember this happening with Rumple, although he had already fully embraced his dark side by the time I had met him.

He seemed too confident and sure of himself as the dark one and nothing like this woman in front of me.

I wonder what his struggle was like; he had lost his son after all. And it had happened after he became the dark one.

Maybe I just needed to snap her out of it.

I take a step closer this time and very silently call out to her, "Emma, dear, please turn around." I see her back tense at the sound of my voice.

She says nothing, and after a minute she starts with her mantra again.

This time she ads "She's not here, she's not real" to it and I realize in that moment that she cannot tell the difference between reality and what is happening in her mind.

It makes my heart ache to know that her mind is torturing her so much. That the once strong woman was fighting so hard to stay good and was slowly losing her in the process; losing her grasp on reality.

"Emma I assure you I am real. Please just turn around and look at me." I say reaching my hand in the bars towards her as I gently put a finger to her clothed shoulder.

She pulls away quickly and turns to face me, shock apparent on her face.

"You are here?" she whispers to herself more than to me, but I hear it and nod yes.

She perks up for a moment at the thought and I see her, my Emma, but then starts to back away again, closing herself off completely.

"No… no why would you be here after what I've done? Just stay away. I don't know who you are…. But just stay the hell away from me." she yells and backs up further out of my reach.

She looks so frightened and I see such regret in her eyes.

"Please sweetheart, I swear to you that I am real. I am here, and I know it wasn't you. I don't blame you for what happened." I tell her and see her inhale deeply, but then something seems to click in her mind and an almost wicked smile appears on her face.

It confuses me to see her change her demeanor so quickly.

"Did you really think you could fool me? Well the Regina I know would have never forgiven me for what I almost did, and she sure as hell never called me sweetheart." She spits out at me venomously.

I realize in that moment that I have no comeback.

She's right, it would have been almost impossible for me to forgive her so quickly, but we had been through so much. And after the pain I felt at losing her in the other reality there was really no question. I would forgive her without hesitation now, a thousand times over.

But now what could I do? How could I make her believe me, especially after calling her that?

"I.. no you see.." I start but she immediately cuts me off.

"No save your bullshit. I don't know how you touched me earlier because the others can't, but whoever the hell you are; just get the fuck away from me, and stay away from family, especially Regina and Henry." She says, coming closer.

"Emma, you don't understand, please..." I try again.

"I'm serious; do you even know who you are dealing with? I'm the dark one if you haven't heard, so it wouldn't be wise to piss me off. This fucking cage won't keep me much longer if you all keep coming around here and messing with me. Now leave!" she growls coming even closer to me.

Its then that I see the darkness in her eyes, that look I saw last time I was here and it makes my blood run cold.

"You have no idea what I could do to you if and when I find out exactly who you are. And pretending to be her, that's just icing on the cake. Do you have any idea how stupid you are? To think that I couldn't tell the difference?" She's so close now.

All I want to do is reach out to her; to take all of her pain away, but I know I cannot. I need her to trust me again. To know that I am here and I will not back down.

I take a step closer to the bars and her looking her dead in the eyes as I straighten myself up because I am always up to the challenge.

"You will listen to me now. I do not know who else you are seeing, but I can assure you that I am who I say I am." I say firmly to her and I see her nostrils flair letting me know that she is growing angrier.

"I am willing to put aside what happened the other day, but you need to trust me. We need to be able to trust each other, and we are going to have to figure out a way for you to know it's me, the real me." I tell her, keeping firm, strengthening my stance for whatever is about to come.

"Prove it." she says to me coldly.

I breathe in heavily and hope that I don't regret this later as I transport myself into the cell, appearing behind her in my usual purple smoke.

She turns to me immediately and I see her eyes light up for an instant before she puts her mask back up.

"That doesn't prove anything to me; you wouldn't believe the shit I've seen. And the purple smoke… really? That's like childsplay, is that all you've got? What were you hoping to accomplish by coming here anyway? What could you do that would make me feel any worse than I already do? For christ's sake I nearly raped her, in front of Ruby no less! What could you possibly come here and do to me? I know I fucked up ok, I know. And the worst part is that deep inside I still want her and hope she could one day want me too. Is that what you want me to say? I've always wanted her and I nearly did, I didn't want it like that of course but deep down I almost let go and it had felt fucking amazing to have that power." She lets out, straightening herself a bit and stalking closer.

"On second thought, maybe since I can't have her… maybe you could be a substitute. Hell maybe you could just turn into Hook since it's too hard to look at Regina. Then I could have a really good time, and it would be guilt free. Or maybe I should just call him over; Lord knows how long he's been begging me for it. Then I could convince the idiot to somehow get me out of this crappy cell." she says and gets closer than before, so I start to move back.

I can't believe what I'm hearing, it's like she is two people, like she has split personalities. She's jumping back and forth and it's getting harder to hear, harder to see her like this.

"Emma, please stop!" I tell her starting to walk towards her instead of backing away.

"Listen to yourself; do you even hear what is coming out of your mouth?" I ask her.

"First you want to know what I am thinking, and now you want me to shut up. Geez just get out of here. Like I said, let me go call Hook, at least he's a good distraction." She starts to walk away from me, for what I pressure to be her cell phone and that's when I just snap.

"No!" I say grabbing her arm forcefully this time and turning her back towards me. "The Emma I know wouldn't just give up like this. The Emma I know wouldn't let stupid voices in her head change who she is. And you are light Emma, not dark. Can't you see that?" I say with tears in my eyes, "Can you see that I have faith in you, you idiot! So stop all of this… nonsense, and listen to me dammit." I say breathing heavily and letting go of her hand.

After about 30 seconds I look up, having not heard a response from her to see her eyes wide and her mouth agape and staring at her arm that I was just touching.

"Regina… is really it you? No… no it can't be…" she says shaking her head and looking back at me.

"Yes, Emma, it's really me." I say as I take both of her hands in mine and for a moment she does nothing, so I keep holding on until I feel her squeeze my hand back.

Then I make a split second decision that I truly hope I will not regret.

I quickly grab onto her hand tighter as I transport us both out of the cell.

A/N: Woohoo two updates in 2 days, aren't you all proud of me? Well there you have it. More to come soon…

Please review : )