Ok so I was waiting to write and post a new chapter when I reached, 100 favourites I've now surpassed that which probably isn't that big but still means a huge amount to me. So THANK YOU! I'll try to update more soon.
Please, please, please continue to show the support you have and favourite this if you enjoy it! I'm really not sure about this chapter so please tell me what you think in a review, and oh yeah, obviously Cap'll be next.
This chapter was kind of inspired by the interview RDJ recently had during the AOU press tour where he walked out because of the dumb-ass reporter. RDJ's face is kinda what I'm aiming for here. Some swearing.
Anyway, without further ado…
BRUCE
If there's anyone in this damn world that knows what pain, and guilt, and suffering is like, it's Bruce Banner. He doesn't know if he'll ever be able to atone for what he's done, and the bullet he spat out just goes to show that he doesn't get to finish yet, whether he wants to or not. And he really wants to. He's trying though, really. It's about who he can save now, not the ones he couldn't. Didn't. It'll never stop the nightmares, he knows that. But it might make the other guy a little less part of them.
He fights with the Avengers when needed, but he's a scientist first and foremost, it's what got him into this mess. And the labs Tony gave him when he reluctantly moved in (when Hawkeye finally told him to unpack that duffel bag he hides under his bag, ready to leave in a moment's notice) really helps with scientific developments for third world countries. Water filters at a fraction of the price, lights that are entirely self-sustaining. He feels like he's making a difference. And Tony also bankrolls these developments happily - "Honestly, Brucey, that money was going on booze or another suit (Gucci, not Iron), I don't mind" - so he'll never stop being grateful. But it's not money, or resources that Tony's given him, not really. It's a chance.
Tony likes to join him in the labs, often giving him a tip on what he's developing - "hey, big green, not to butt in, but if you change that variable, those lights could shine 15.63% brighter" - and being a general presence in his once isolated life. Bruce suspects that that's completely on purpose. Very few see Selfless Tony, not because he isn't there, but because they choose not to. Having a figure they love to hate is too gratifying. Sometimes Bruce can't choose between what he hates more; his own monster, or that dark, unforgiving monster that is the judging public media.
It's the latter that shows Bruce the side of Tony he'd suspected was there, since seeing the admission to his suicide attempt on the helicarrier. Tony's eyes had flashed with panic and undetectable emotion before the mask returned. He didn't want to know, he really didn't, didn't want to see that suffering in someone else, but now he has no choice.
They've been working for hours, caught up in breakthroughs and equations and numbers, when JARVIS' voice breaks the comfortable silence as a screen flashes up.
"Sir, the interview you conducted, the one you ordered deleted everywhere, has been leaked online. It is now on several media channels including CNN, FOX, ABC, C9 and-"
"JARVIS, I get it, get it off. Take it down. NOW!"
Tony's suddenly raised voice makes Bruce flinch violently, having to assure Hulk that no, there's no threat in Tony, you know that. It's Tony that looks close to hulking out though. His breaths are heaving, he's hunched over his workstation, and his face is livid - dangerously, murderously livid.
"Tony…are…are you okay?"
Bruce's platitudes go ignored as Tony and his creation start an intense discussion.
"Where the HELL did they get it?! We purged it EVERYWHERE, didn't we, JARVIS?"
Tony's voice took on a terrifying tone, for the first time directed towards his own creation, a spectacle Bruce never thought he'd hear. But JARVIS was unfazed, in fact his own tone was frantic, and apologetic.
"We did, sir. I do not know how this happened. I had no trace of any signature matching that of the interview, not until some of AIM's files were 'leaked' from their private server and-"
"AIM did this?! I have the most advanced AI in the universe, and fucking AIM got a hold of the footage? GREAT!"
"It would appear so, sir. I am sorry, I did check every branch that had access. I can only assume we have a mole in SI. I will begin scanning now."
"Thanks, J. Sorry…I'm sorry, it isn't your fault. I didn't mean to shout. Can we at least get it taken down again, block the channels?"
"No need to apologise, I understand completely. And it would appear not…we are being blocked somehow. I cannot turn it off."
"…what? No, no they can't see. No, Bruce can't…"
Finally, Tony glances back to Bruce and suddenly his anger has morphed into panic. He's gripping the desk hard enough to turn his skin pale white, to match his rapidly draining face. Bruce reaches towards him to comfort and this time it's Tony's turn to flinch away, backing up and shaking his head frantically.
"Tony, hey, hey, hey Tony, you're ok. Are you with me? Stay with me, we're at the Tower, remember?"
"Yeah, I know, Bruce, I'm fine. I'm fine. Shit, ok, don't hate me, in fact don't even watch this, just ignore it, keep working, or better yet, let's go out, huh? Yeah, no that won't work, paparazzi. Maybe we can-"
"Tony, it's ok, sit down, we're ok, sit down."
"Yeah…yeah, ok."
Defeated, Tony's whole demeanour changes and he almost collapses into his chair. They sit in silence until he flinches and smacks his hand on the table.
"SHIT! Shit…"
His hand is bleeding where his hand smashed on a beaker, and bruce gently approaches with a first aid kit (always on hand), but Tony doesn't even notice. He's watching the hologram now, anguish clear on his face. As much as Bruce tries to drown it out, the interviewer's voice permeates the white noise he's filling his head with.
"…so, Mr. Stark, we've spoken about the Avengers, I wonder if we can move to some more…personal questions?"
"Uh, sure, I guess, you've got as much time as anyone else haha…"
On the screen, Tony rubs the back of his neck in an obvious sign of discomfort, one ignored completely by his interrogator (because, really, what else can you call it? Raza and the freaking Ten Rings weren't as bad).
"We know that you're now a part of an alleged peacekeeping organisation, you've made that clear, but in your past, you were a proficient arms dealer, yes?"
"Yeah, you know I was…sorry, what's the relevance here?"
"Oh I'm getting to that, believe me. And during your imprisonment, you were tortured and forced to build weapons, yes?"
"Well, sort of. I was made to, but I didn't, I built Iron Man. This is really widely known, why are we going over this?"
On-screen Tony looks positively wild now, but the Tony with him is resigned and defeated, two words that do not go alongside billionaire, playboy or philanthropist.
"Ah, yes, and you built Iron Man alone?"
"Um, no, there was another person captured and-"
"Another person? That makes it sound so impersonal, does it not? He and yourself became quite close during those months, is that correct? You and…Yinsen, is it?"
The interviewer deliberately mispronounced it, it's obvious, but Tony didn't even notice during the interview. His mind went back to scorching heat, and debilitating cold. To fire, and blood, and the empty eyes of the one person he called his friend at that time.
Bruce is watching him carefully. His gaze goes from the person questioning him to somewhere off-screen, and he's back there, he can see it, and the interviewer can't touch that place. It's in his mind. But the problem is he's also trapped there. He's unresponsive, and the interviewer asks him question after question, about Yinsen ("did you kill him, Mr. Stark? Was it all an elaborate cover-up?"), about the weeks after ("Obadiah Stane, like a father to you. And yet you killed him, too. Is there no end to the lives you've ended?"), about anything.
On-screen Tony remains out of it for at least five minutes, and the person asking him questions is now just trying to get him to answer at all. The stare is eerie, and there's a close up on his face, only highlighting the blank wall in his eyes. Finally, he snaps out of it and shakes himself, before grinning his trademark grin and walking out of the room. Before he goes, they ask one more question.
"Mr. Stark, what on Earth happened there?!"
Without turning around the camera captures a single laugh and he quietly says,
"Sorry. You were boring me."
And that's that. It's explained away, it's nothing, and the media are fooled. The headlines read not that there was an insensitive interviewer who asked questions not only irrelevant but inappropriate, but that Arrogant Tony Stark Refuses To Answer In Yet Another Childish Stunt. Bruce has gone so far beyond furious, he's deadly calm again. Just as well; a Hulk-out right now would be good for no one, despite the Hulk-proof room.
He's sitting mid bandage-wrapping with his mouth hanging open in pure shock. He just can't understand. And he wonders, have any of the other Avengers seen this side of him? He's noticed Thor shadowing Tony anytime he goes to walk out on the balcony alone, and he knows he can hear Clint scuffling around in the vents heading towards the workshop. Natasha, well she's always cold, but maybe he's seen her defrost a little for Tony. Bruce feels like he's been blind and can see again, but he really doesn't like the view.
"Thank God…"
Tony's voice brings him back to here and now, and he's dumbfounded.
"Thank god?! Tony, were you watching the same thing as me? Did you see what that stupid idiot was asking you?"
"Yeah, Bruce, I was there, y'know. Well, for some of it, at least… I mean thank god they didn't see."
Apparently, Bruce's ability to speak has done an Elvis and left the building, because he cannot say a word. Not one. He gets it, though.
Better to be painted the villain than see the cracked canvas of a hero underneath.
Tony just looks so sad. He knows a thousand better words for it in a thousand other languages but right now, Bruce can't see anything but sad. He's smiling but there's no happiness in it, he's exhausted with the pretence. And why wouldn't he be? He's dealt with this all his life, from the youngest age. Bruce, at least, had some semblance of a normal life before all this, but Tony? He's always under the spotlight and it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. They're vultures and Tony has been pecked away to bones, and no amount of armour can protect against that kind of attack.
"Ok, JARVIS, can we purge it now? And find out where they got Yinsen's name. They do not get to use him like that, you hear me?"
"Yes, Sir. Ready on your word."
"Go for it, J. And, hey, while you're at it, y'know that incriminating footage we keep of the CEO's of those stations… it'd be a shame if someone were to anonymously release it, right?"
"Indeed, sir. A terrible shame."
Beyond marvelling at the highly advanced sarcasm coding Tony has encrypted into JARVIS' workings, Bruce is at a loss.
Tony simply holds his now covered hand close to his chest and goes back to his corner, to grab his things and leave as swiftly as he can. Instead of the bounding puppy full of energy and zeal, he's acting like a kicked and traumatised one, untrusting with its tail firmly between its legs. It's heartbreaking to see his friend like this.
Honestly, Bruce is overwhelmed. The Hulk is confused, too, muttering quietly in the recesses of his busy head. So much information has passed through Bruce's mind in a short space of time and one question is running around unbidden. How could Tony come through all of this and still be…Tony? He wants to ask that very thing but a different question leaves his mouth.
"Tony…who's Yinsen?"
Tony's hands pause in their gathering and eyes briefly meet his before they drop again. Shielded, desperate eyes that scream RUN AWAY.
"Yinsen was…Yinsen was good."
The 'and I never will be' isn't missed by Bruce. It shouldn't be there at all, but it's clear as day.
And, oh, oh… if there's anyone in this damn world that knows what pain, and guilt, and suffering is like, it's Tony Stark.