Chapter 4

We reappear in the middle of the forest, and after a moment of disorientation Emma pushes me far from her.

"What the hell are you doing Regina?" she yells, stepping further back until her back hit a tree behind her.

I see the complete fear flashing in her eyes, and my first instinct is to comfort her, so I start to move closer to her.

"No… please just stay back." She says, putting her hand up, and before I know it I am on the ground, fully taken by surprise by the force of her magic.

"Fuck! Regina, are you okay?" then she's kneeling beside me and cradling my face in her hands, and rubbing my hair out of my face.

I bask in the feel of her hands on my face for a few seconds before I open my eyes and look into her tortured ones.

They are shining a deep emerald green at the moment, and it takes my breath away.

"Emma… I.." I clear my throat. "Yes, I am okay." I say pulling a little further so that I can stand, but she quickly helps lift me into a sitting position and sits next to me, although further then we were moments ago.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened, I didn't want you to get any closer because I didn't want to hurt you and then… it was like I barely had time to think about it and you were already on the ground." She lets out in one quick breath.

"Your magic is much stronger now. It's always been there, but now…" I say looking down, not wanting to say it.

"Now that I'm the dark one…" she huffs out.

"Yes, well now it's even more a part of you. Before where you had to concentrate to channel it, well now it may be harder to not use it than actually use it. If that makes sense." I try to get out, and feel ridiculous because I know I can speak much more eloquently than that, but being here with her now, its disorienting in so many ways.

She smiles at me for a moment, and I know she is trying not to laugh at me, so I slowly push her shoulder. "Don't laugh at me Miss Swan."

She just smiles to herself again and then looks up and around and then slowly inhales deeply and exhales, and then looks back at me.

"Sorry I'm just not used to hearing you stammer like that. It actually makes me believe you might be an average human like the rest of us." She says, smiling so sweetly that I momentarily forget why we are here and what has happened to her.

"As opposed to?" I ask.

"Oh you know… the ever regal Queen on the Enchanted Forest, the wicked Mayor of Storybrook, the supermom of one little Henry… take your pick, but I'd say your anything but average." She has that cheeky look on her face, and in that moment I just want to kiss her, but I know that it would be catastrophic to do such a thing.

"Well… just as long as we both are in agreement…" I say back.

We sit quietly for another few minutes before she finally speaks up.

"I'm so sorry Regina, for everything. You have to know that I would never ever want to hurt you or take advantage of you. When I think of what almost…" she quickly closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths.

"I just think that you and Henry need to stay away from me. I feel like you are the ones that I have the most potential to hurt. I just… I can't be around you. I can't risk it. So… if you could just take me back, I need to be locked up." She says finally opening her eyes again and looking me dead in the eyes.

"Emma, I brought you here because I knew there wouldn't be anyone around. I don't think its right for you to be locked up in that cell all the time. I can already see changes in you since we've been out here. You need fresh air, you need room to breathe and not feel like some animal in a cage." I tell her with conviction.

"But that's what I am, an animal. You saw it, you saw what I'm capable, and that's not even all of it. If you knew the thoughts that run through my head..." She says, pushing further from me and standing up.

"Then tell me, share it with me to take that burden off of you. I am here, Emma I am here for you." I try to make her understand.

"You don't have to do this alone." I say getting on my feet as well and walking towards her.

"Why?" she turns around to face me.

"Excuse me?" I feel slightly offended that she would question me.

"I mean, why now? There is something different about you Regina. Not that I am complaining, but you freaking hated me, and then we sort of became friends over the years…. But this" she says gesturing between us, "This is different. Something changed in you and I want to know what it is."

"Emma, you are my friend, and I care for you." I try to reason with her.

"No, don't try to make like this is all in my head. I know all about your mind games, but something is different and if this is some sick joke… I just." She steps further from me again. "I don't think I could control my anger if I found out that you were…. Fuck, I don't even know what you are trying to do." she says so dejected.

"I am just trying to help you, I swear to you. We may not have always gotten along, but I have come to value our friendship, and what about Henry. I made him a promise that I would do everything in my power to help you." I know I could have told her more, but I did not want to overwhelm her.

"So that's it, you made a promise to the kid. I get it now." She says, brushing herself off, and turning from me.

She seems so hurt by it, but accepts it nonetheless. The fact that she couldn't fathom that I would do it because I simply care for her. Although my feelings for her are far from simple, it makes me so utterly sad to see her this way.

But what could I say, how could I tell her without explaining everything or professing my love?

"I appreciate you bringing me out here… but I just don't think it's safe for everyone. I don't always have the control I am showing now…" She continues on but I am distracted by her earlier words.

It's starting to make sense, why she is always helping others, why she puts herself in danger with no real regard for her own safety. Yes she was the Savior, but even heroes had limits. Even heroes had a self-preservation instinct. But with Emma there really isn't one. Does she really think she is not important to care about unless for her son, or for her parents?

How had I not realized it before, I knew she was an orphan and was rejected by so many, but when she came to know her parents I just assumed that she would understand her worth. I thought that she knew how much people loved her not because of what she did for people, but for who she is.

"… and if I put them in danger like I did with you, I just think you need to take me back to the cell." She finishes and I have no idea what she has been going on about.

"Regina, are you listening to me? We need to go back. I would do it myself but I don't know if I could get back in the cell since we never really worked on transporting in our training."

"It's not just because of Henry." I tell her distractedly.

"Huh? Have you been listening to me?" she throws up her hands frustrated with me, and it's so animated that I want to laugh at her. Where did this sudden playful side come from?

I clear my throat to hide my slight smirk. She is beyond amusing with her hands in the air, and her eyebrows crunched together.

She looks towards me again. "What's the matter with you? Oh great, you've lost it too haven't you? This is serious Regina. I need to be locked up, I need to be away from you all." she says as she crosses her arms over her chest.

"Do you realize that this is the most you've said to me since it happened? All that time we spent in the cell together, all you did was write in your book, and watch television. Why is that?" I ask her.

"I can't explain it, I felt like I deserved to be there, to be punished for being a bad person. And I could hear the voices; I could see things that would try to tempt me."

"What kinds of things?" I ask her, becoming serious.

"I saw people, some from my past, but those weren't as bad as seeing the people I care about." She whispers.

That would explain why she didn't believe I was real.

"Did you see me?" I ask and she nods yes.

"Oh Emma, who else?" I ask and she looks away again.

"Henry, mom and dad, Hook…. Rumple..." she says, "Sometimes it was easy to know if it wasn't really them, but other times… well…" She doesn't finish.

"That day with Ruby? Can you tell me what happened?" I ask her, walking closer and taking her hand, which she pulls back, "please" I ask her gently.

"Please don't make me…" she says in a low voice.

"Okay, I will not try to force you, but maybe some other time?" I ask and she just nods, "Yeah maybe" she says.

I want so badly for her to tell me what happened but I know if I push her then we will never get anywhere.

I think again about how we ended up in this mess, as I walk over to a fallen tree and have a seat on the thick trunk. It was actually nice to be out here, and I truly hope that Emma knew I just wanted to get her out of that dark dingy place. She didn't deserve that. And she seemed better than I had seen her. I couldn't let her go back to that; I just needed to get through to her.

If I could get her to see that she doesn't have to be held prisoner there. That Rumple didn't turn evil overnight that it took a long time, and he was so very different from her.

I hear a branch snap next to me as she comes to sit down near me, but just far enough away.

"What did you mean earlier about Henry?" she breathes out so I turn to look at her.

God in this lighting she is more stunning than I remember. Just sitting here with the slight buzz of the animals around us, and the sunlight cascading down from between the thick tree branches, she takes my breath away. But then she shyly looks down, all of a sudden becoming bashful and I realize that I must have been staring.

I cough to cover my clear trance for that second, and then I slowly take her hand in mine.

She looks back to me, "What I meant was that Henry is not the only reason that I want to help you Emma." I tell her slowly.

She just stays quiet so I continue, "I genuinely want to help you ; you must know that by now. You must know that you are cared about and loved by the people of this town. And it's not because you are some prophesized Savior."

She chuckles at this, "Yeah right." She says, but I pull tighter at her hand to make her face me.

"I'm serious. You are so selfless and the people of this town see that, they see how you put them before yourself every time, how you put their happiness before your own. We are all so lucky to have you, and I am sure if they knew what was happening there would be a long line of people trying to help." I tell her and look off in the distance.

"We?" she asks hopefully.

I smile, she doesn't miss a beat, "Yes, we, you must know that, do not make me say it." I warn her.

She smirks, "Aww, Regina it's okay to show your softer side." She teases and bumps her shoulder with mine.

I make a disgusted face before turning to look at her and she laughs out loud at it, "Okay, I won't push my luck… geez" she says, and then looks straight ahead off into the distance with me.

We sit there for a long time just enjoying the easiness of the moment and not thinking too much of it.

I wish things were simple, I wish we had just decided to take a long walk and maybe pack a picnic, but I knew that we were both just avoiding the larger problem at hand, but at that moment I was okay with it. I was okay to pretend that we were just here enjoying this moment together.

I feel her rest her head on my shoulder a little later as she sighs a quiet thank you, and I just nod my head once and grasp her hand that is still in mine a little tighter.

A SHORT, BUT SWEET CHAPTER FOR YA'LL

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