OK. IMPORTANT NOTICE.

1st- id like to say that, YES, I know tweeks name is officially 'tweek tweak'. but I like to say its a nickname. because damn that's an unfortunate name. I will , of course, only call him tweek but in this chapter I use the name Oliver tweak. (because it sounds like Oliver twist and you wont see much of his parents in this.. pfftt, I know, I know. I'm soooo clever) anyway, I'm using the name tweek like its a nickname. again though, Tweek is what all the characters, except the one lady that speak for all of two lines, will call him.

2nd- I don't have an O or L key so I have to push those empty key spaces really hard with my finger nail.. if my words are missing a letter don't judge. (;

I think the spell check thingy I use fixes them well enough but I just thought id let you know.

3rd- I don't update often because I often lose my motivation to write. I'm in-between medications so its hard for me to maintain any motivation right now. I suffer from severe depression and it makes it hard. Even though I love to write and writing helps me, I just want to lay around and sulk all day long.. which is what I've been doing.

4th- for the title I wanted something totally dramatic and cheesy sounding, and I love it! but i'm thinking about changing it.

what do you think? (:

lol, anyways, I hope you enjoy.

p.s. IF SOMEONE COULD TELL MY THE CORRECT WAY TO SPELL BENNIGANS THAT WOULD BE GREAT! (bennigans, benigans, bennagins, ect ect..)

SOTD (Song Of The Day)- I'm made of wax, Larry, what are you made of? by A Day to Remember.

I don't even remember doing it. All I remember is the phone call I got saying I had myself a brand new job, one that actually pays! I remember being excited and I think I was even jumping around like a teenage girl who just got asked out by her first crush. Next thing I know I'm waking up in a room that's not even mine with bandages on my hands and a killer headache.

ill tell it like this.. ill start from what I do remember.

It started when my phone rang... well not really but that's where we'll start.

I don't remember the conversation exactly how it happened but picture it like this, but more sophisticated.

xoxoxoxoxo

don't blink. they wont even miss you at all. and don't think that ill always be gone. you know I've-

"-nnngg- Hello?"

"Hi, is this Mr. Oliver Tweak?"

"uhh.. yes ma'ma"

"Oh, hello Oliver. My name is Janie, I'm the manager here at Bennigans. I'm calling to inform you that you've got the job. You start Monday at 3pm. Wear black pants and a non-slip shoes, we'll give you a shirt when you get here."

I don't recall the rest of what she said, or what I said after that but it was probably something like "GAH~ yes, thank you ma'ma, I'll ~nghh~ be there!" and cue the teenage girl thing I was talking about earlier.

now this next part, that's what I remember clearly

my jumping around the room must have caused a lot of noise because my dad looked up from his crossword puzzle, which, mind you, is not something he'll just do. you see my dad a pretty spacey dude. as long as you stay out of his way and do what he tells you to do, when he tells you to do it, he'll stay his eerily calm and soft-spoken self. If you ignore his existence, he'll ignore yours. The only thing my dad really get passionate about is coffee, his coffee shop, and his cross-word puzzles. Maybe that's why he went all crazy like he did.. I had already disrupted his cross word time and then shortly after he finds out I'm leaving the coffee shop business to wash dishes at a, and I quote, "shitty ass restaurant". I honestly didn't even mean to tell him. its just the pressure of keeping it a secret, even for a short time, was going to kill me. its always the damn pressure man... it always gets to me.

I digress,

He said some awful things to me that I wont relay, but just know they were exactly what I just said. awful! and here is something you should know about me, when I get upset, like genually, about-to-cry-upset. I get angry first. I don't understand it really, it just happens! Someone will say something mean, or I'll fall and get hurt, or whatever man! things that should just make me cry make me downright pissed. and I mean blinding rage comes over me! ill I see is red, and all I can think is 'destroy'. "destroy what?" you may be asking. the answer- destroy whatever it is that mad me angry.

I guess this time it was the coffee shop.

like I said earlier, I don't remember actually doing it, but I know that I did. I should be upset about really. I feel like I should be crying or scared that I might go to jail or whatever. But I'm fine. I guess I used up all that emotion last night. maybe its just that waking up in Craig Tuckers arms has a way of making me feel better.

He (Craig) is lying on his back, on a (what I can only assume is his) single twin sized bed, -made and everything! like he didn't even have the energy to pull the covers back and get under them- fully dressed in jeans, a sweater, his hat, and even his shoes and socks. I'm laying half-way on top of him, again fully dressed but without shoes because I must have forgotten them when I ran out of my house. my head is resting on his shoulder and his face is in my hair, which he is currently drooling in but I cant bring myself to care at the moment. Probably because all I can think about at the moment is how warm he is.. how warm he makes me.

Craig and I have been together for a while, sense we were kids actually, it didn't start off real and it wasn't for a long time, though eventually it became something somewhat amazing, but that's a story for another time. My point is, Craig has never been a touchy person, when we make out he likes to separate when were done, he doesn't like to hold hands for very long, and he hates hugs.. me however, I'm a very touchy person. It makes me feel safer to be held. So I love it when things like this happen. I know its probably because I was really upset last night and he felt he needed to hold me, and maybe its because the bed is so small, but either way I am loving this attention. even if he's asleep, and drooling in my hair, and my arms practically dead from being squished in-between us, and my neck is sore from sleeping at a weird angle.. this is perfect. and its all I can focus on.. all I want to focus on.

but of course, its only the calm before the storm..