iii.
Sammy and Orla don't stay long, but thanks to Julie's - arguably bad - influence, Sammy is well on the way to being in the right state for a 21st by the time they leave. After giving them both a hug goodbye and waving them out the door, Julie returns to the bar, which is being held up by Mitch.
"All right?" Julie asks, joining him while she waits to be served. Mitch has his phone in one hand and a pint in the other, but he looks up when she speaks and greets her with a smile.
"Yeah," he says, "good night. Bit strange to be at the retirement bash of someone you trained with, but it's good to send her out in style."
"Strange for you?" Julie smiles. "I remember when you all started. Only by a few years, mind, but I do. Never thought I'd see Gill retire. What about you; got any plans?"
Mitch laughs. "Nah. If I could spend all day fishing, it'd be a different story, but my wife's got a list of DIY jobs as long as her arm, just waiting for the day I put my notice in. If it's a choice between nicking murderers and re-tiling the bathroom, I'll take the murderers."
Julie laughs. "Fair enough."
"What about you?" He takes a sip of his beer.
"I think I've got a few more years in me yet," she says, smiling. "I'll see how Gill handles it first. Reckon we're similar enough for that to be good litmus test of what my own retirement might look like. So if she goes spare, you might see me around for a while."
Mitch smiles. "I give her six months. Time enough for a holiday and some gardening, then she'll be back. Consulting for the NPIA, running courses, summat like that."
"Happen I might even agree with you," Julie murmurs conspiratorially.
Mitch's phone pings in his hand; he glances down at it and snorts. "Yeah, that is not happening," he mutters, sliding his thumb over the screen and shooting off a quick response. He looks up at Julie again, and she arches an eyebrow.
"What isn't?"
Mitch shakes his head. "Dave. Wants to know what pub we're at. Not happening."
Julie blinks, not sure whether to be amused or switch over into immediate rage. She settles somewhere in the middle. "I should think not," she agrees, but now Mitch's phone is ringing.
"Mate," Mitch says as he answers the call, "you are not coming here... I'm not telling you." Julie can hear Dave's voice, loud, on the other end of the line, though she can't make out what he's saying. Mitch flicks a glance in Julie's direction, rolls his eyes. "That's good, mate, good for you. You stay there... Yeah he's not here anyway. I'm standing here with Julie Dodson, actually... Yeah she's wearing a wicked pair of heels. Yeah, you stay where you are, mate, keep your balls safe." Julie laughs at that, almost despite herself, as Mitch tries to bring the conversation to a close. "Yeah, yeah... Definitely, mate, soon. Okay, ta-ta."
"Crisis averted?" Julie asks as he disconnects the call.
Mitch tucks his phone into his pocket. "Sounds like he started trying pubs at random hours ago," he says, shaking his head.
"Twat," Julie says, then makes a token effort to look contrite. "Sorry. Sometimes I forget that you were Switzerland in their divorce." Not that Julie had liked Dave even when they were married, but that seems like splitting hairs.
Mitch rolls a shoulder and smiles. "If the shoe fits..." He takes a drink. "Wouldn't have let him ruin Gill's night. He's not all bad, though."
"Mm," Julie murmurs, non-committal. She supposes he must have some redeeming qualities, but she's never seen them.
The barman approaches. "Having a shot, this time?" he asks, and Julie grins.
"Why not? Mitch?"
His smile is laconic. "Oh, go on, twist my arm," he says.
"Preference?" Julie asks. Mitch shrugs. "Surprise me," she tells the barman.
The barman eyes both Julie and Mitch contemplatively, then turns and pulls three bottles off the shelf - Jim Beam, Jack Daniels and Johnnie Walker. "They call it 'three wise men'," he says, setting them on the bar.
"A mythical concept if ever there was one," Julie laughs. "Sold."
The barman pours them, equal parts of each into two glasses, slides them across the bar. Julie hands her money over and asks for another pint while she's at it. She passes Mitch's drink to him and he nods in thanks, picking the glass up between forefinger and thumb.
"To unwise men trying to crash their exes retirement parties," he says, with a smirk.
"And the wiser ones telling them to bugger off," Julie counters, and they down their shots.
ooOOoo
"So I told him to bugger off," Gill said. "After I called him every name under the sun. He's gone. Dave's gone."
2008, and it felt like rain after a long drought to hear Gill say that, necessary and life-giving.
"Good," Julie said. "That's good, isn't it?"
"I suppose it must be," Gill answered, voice hollow on the other end of the phone, and the sound of it ripped away any notion that this was a moment of elation or victory for Julie.
"You did what you needed to do," Julie said, voice heavy. "For your own happiness. For self-respect."
"She wasn't the first. He admitted that, in the end. I knew, I think. There were other times... Where was my self-respect then?"
"Tangled up," Julie said, and found the words came remarkably easily, "with having a child and wanting to keep your family together, with having a job that takes you away from home for whole weeks sometimes, with pragmatism or wanting to believe in someone you loved. It's really easy to put yourself last and not even realise you're doing it."
It was a conversation Julie had had with herself many times over the years - every time she heard a new rumour about Dave's infidelity or had to witness the way he spoke to Gill, every time she bit her tongue and didn't shout how are you still with this man? She'd become quite accustomed to making lists in her head of all Gill's possible reasons for staying, trying to understand. Reminding herself that Gill's life was her own, and that her role as a friend was to be there to support Gill if and when she chose to leave, not to puncture her obvious denial and drag her away. It had been good practice, apparently - the words rolled off her tongue without so much as a thought.
Gill sighed. "I suppose so. God, but what are people going to say?"
"Nothing they wouldn't have said once word got round that there was a uniform having his bastard," Julie said. Nothing they haven't been whispering for years, she refrained from adding.
"And I'm supposed to be in Bristol next week. I don't know what I'm going to do about that. Sammy can't stay with my mum when he's got school, and I'm sure as hell not calling his mother. I'm going to have to take leave, without any notice. Bloody hell." She sounded almost as angry about that as she was about Dave's infidelity. Julie knew well how important the job was to her.
"I could come and stay," she offered. "For the week, or until you've got yourself sorted. I mean, I'd still be getting in late, but probably no later than Dave was."
Gill snorted darkly. "Yeah, if he was even coming straight home." She changed her tone a moment later. "That would be really helpful, actually. Are you sure? You'll hit more traffic in the morning between here and Duke Street."
Julie smiled. "Of course I'm sure, you daft cow. What's a bit of traffic between friends?"
oOo
In the end, Julie stayed considerably longer than a week. Sammy was shaken, as any fourteen year-old would be at having his world turned upside down overnight, and Gill, usually the epitome of together, was a disorganised mess. Julie arrived on the Sunday evening and packed Gill off to Bristol early Monday morning, at which point Sammy informed her that he didn't have a clean school uniform. She let him have the day off (just today, mind, and don't tell your mum) and taught him how to use the washing machine.
They rubbed along okay. As she'd expected, Sammy was fairly self-sufficient as far as feeding himself, and on the nights she was home early enough, Julie bought takeaway. Sammy had inherited his mother's tidying gene and collected the mugs and assorted crockery Julie had a habit of leaving laying about, and she was a dab hand at the washing up. She didn't nag him about his homework, and he didn't make a fuss when she, half-awake in the morning and forgetting where she was, wandered out of the bathroom in her underwear.
When Gill arrived home late on Friday evening, they were swearing at each other over a game of Gears of War, and she appeared in the living room doorway looking momentarily terrified, until Julie managed a spectacular headshot and let out a whoop as Sammy's character's brains splattered all over the screen.
"Ha, take that, you sneaky little bastard!" she exclaimed, flicking a glance over her shoulder and catching Gill's panicked expression fading to relief. "Hiya, Slap," she added, just in time for Sammy to catch himself and not vocalise the stream of creative abuse he'd likely been about to let fly.
Gill recovered her poise immediately. "Excuse me, lady, is that any way to speak to my only son?"
Julie flopped back into her seat, grinning. "Your son," she said, "is far too enthusiastic about killing things for the child of police officers."
"Oi!" Sammy cried, gesturing with his controller. "What did you say when you found that rocket launcher, Chief Inspector?"
"You're both ridiculous," Gill interjected, smiling. She dropped her overnight bag just inside the door and headed for the kitchen. "I am going to pour myself a glass of wine, deal with my frustrations like an adult."
"I'll be in that," Julie said. "There's some leftover curry in the fridge, if you're hungry."
"How many days old is it?" Gill called, already out of the room.
"Tonight's, thank you very much!"
"I should pack this up," Sammy said, extending his hand for her controller. "Supposed to be hooked up in the den."
"Oh, you didn't mention that before," Julie murmured, arching an eyebrow and passing it to him.
Sammy flashed her a grin. "This TV's better. Don't get to use it very often." He made short work of packing up, though, which made Julie suspect he had more practice than he let on.
By the time Gill came back into the room carrying a glass of wine and steaming bowl of curry, the Xbox was bundled in Sammy's arms. "I poured you a glass," she said to Julie, "but I didn't have enough hands. Sorry."
Julie sighed dramatically and made to climb out of her chair, but Sammy stopped her. "I'll get it for you!" He set his armful of gaming console down on the coffee table, ducked into the kitchen and returned a moment later with her wine.
Gill, curling herself into the armchair he'd just vacated, watched him hand Julie her glass with a raised eyebrow and an incredulous expression, waited until he'd picked up his Xbox again before she said, "Where's my kiss, then?"
Sammy had the good grace to look abashed. Clutching the machine to his chest, he moved over to her, leaning down carefully to plant a kiss on her waiting cheek. "Hi Mum," he said. "Hope you solved lots of crimes this week."
"I helped solve a few." She smiled, satisfied. "I hope you did all your homework and got enough sleep?"
"Mostly, yeah," he said. "And Jared's Mum picked me up for football training and offered to do it next week, too, if I needed."
"That was nice of her," Gill said. "We'll see how we go. You putting that back in the den?" She eyed the Xbox.
"Course," he said. "Unless you and Julie fancy a go."
Gill laughed. "Go on, off with you. Dismissed."
He vanished gratefully.
Julie waited until he was out of earshot, waited until Gill had taken a sip of her wine and settled in with her bowl before she asked: "So, how did it go?"
"It was all right," Gill said, poking around in the curry. "I wasn't on top form, but I managed. I've spoken to my boss, put my notice in."
"What?" Julie asked, alarmed. Her notice...?
"Oh, I mean, I put in for leave, starting in two weeks. But I've told them I won't be coming back; I'll have to find a transfer. I can't do it, can I? Can't be off around the country with Sammy at home, not long-term." She took a mouthful of food, and Julie nodded, took a sip of her wine.
"I'm sorry," she said. She knew how much Gill loved the crime faculty.
Gill rolled a shoulder. "That's life, I suppose. It's like you said, it's a choice for self-respect. Staying with Dave while he paid for the upbringing of his whore's child, no. Not for any job in the world. I'll find something else."
Julie curled her feet under her, leaned against the arm of the lounge. "What about the next two weeks?" she asked.
"They'll keep me here, as much as possible anyway. No overnighters, or so they say."
"Well, I can stay here as long as you need me to, beat Sammy at video games a few more times."
Gill smiled. "He loves you, you know. He's never offered to fetch my wine."
"Well, of course he does," Julie said, taking a sip from her glass. "I am fantastic."
Gill laughed. "You buy a good curry, I'll give you that," she said. She picked up her wine for a sip before going back to her bowl.
"Give me a phone and a takeaway menu, I'm a domestic goddess," Julie replied.
Gill took another mouthful before she spoke again. "I've made an appointment for Wednesday, with a solicitor."
"That's good," Julie said. "Better than trying to hash it out yourself, considering."
"I'm not losing this place," Gill said. "This house is everything I ever wanted. He can pry the deed out of my cold, dead fingers."
"Have you..." Julie hesitated, taking a drink of her wine. "Have you made any other appointments?"
"Not yet," Gill said. "Don't know that there are any others, at least until I hear what the solicitor's got to say." She scraped her fork around the bowl, took the last mouthful of food, then set her crockery aside and picked up her wine.
Julie took another drink. "I was thinking more along the lines of...medical appointments. If he got her pregnant, he obviously didn't always use protection, so it's probably worth having some tests done."
Gill's face froze. "I hadn't even thought of that," she whispered, shoulders dropping. "God, bastard. I don't even... Do you just make an appointment with your doctor?"
"You can," Julie said, "but how long do you want to wait? You might be better off with a clinic. Most of them will do blood tests as well as others."
"Fuck," Gill breathed, taking rather a large mouthful of wine.
"I'll go with you, if you like."
Gill still looked spooked, but she smiled despite it. "You are fantastic," she said.
oOo
They went that weekend, since both of them were off and Gill said she suddenly felt dirty. It was an awkward couple of hours, sitting in the walk-in clinic, but Julie was glad she could be there for Gill, driving her there and back and helping her fill out the questionnaires. Afterward, they went for a pub lunch that turned into a long session, which Gill apparently needed.
Julie stayed that two weeks until Gill's leave. She made sure the washing got sorted and ducked out of the office at three one afternoon to pick Sammy up from school in the rain. On the Wednesday after Gill's meeting with the solicitor, Julie made sure she was out early enough to go to Tesco, and cooked them all a proper meal. Delia Smith she wasn't, but she had a few tasty staples under her belt, and there was nothing like tomato pesto and pine nuts to make chicken and pasta seem fancy.
On that night she comforted Gill when she cried about the pain of reducing their married life into a series of sums and figures, and on Saturday, when Dave didn't make it to Sammy's football game, she picked him up and then pulled into a deserted carpark on the way home so he could rage and cry without anyone else seeing. After he'd got it out she gave him a hug and bought him a burger, and they went home with his adolescent masculinity intact.
Dave resurfaced in that second week. On Tuesday evening he showed up on the doorstep. Gill had had the presence of mind to have the locks changed, after she'd turfed him out - which was dubiously legal at best, really, but worth it for the look of shock on his face when Julie answered the door.
"What the fuck are you doing in my house?" he snarled, recovering from the shock by ramping up the aggression, and Julie stepped out of the way to allow him entry with a casual sort of disdain. She'd dealt with his bluster before, plenty of times.
"Performing the duties you ducked out of," she replied, letting the subtle innuendo of it hang in the air as she leaned into his space to close the door behind him. "Come in, why don't you. Gill's at work, but I'll give her a call and see if she's willing to see you."
Dave's back arched, but he said nothing, stalking importantly into the living room and then seeming to not know what to do with himself, turning a half circle before he seated himself in one of the armchairs and glowered at her.
Julie left him there, deliberately turning her back as she moved off to the kitchen to retrieve her phone, but lurking outside the door so she could keep an eye on him - and so that her voice would carry - as she called Gill.
Gill picked up on the second ring. "Hiya, Slap." Julie could hear traffic.
"Hi," Julie said. "Are you on your way home? There's some garbage in the living room and I don't know if you want me to keep it here for you or chuck it out into the street." She probably couldn't, not if he refused to go, same way she couldn't really refuse him entry, but it was satisfying to say.
Gill sighed. "Keep it. I'll be about fifteen. Don't set it on fire, either, okay?"
Julie barked a laugh. "Wouldn't dream of it. That's your privilege."
"I'll see you soon." She rang off.
Julie returned to the living room. "She's on her way," she said, and perched herself on the arm of the other chair. She didn't say anything else, just stared Dave down, and while there hadn't been anything remotely satisfying about Gill's distress, there was some in this. In silently filling in the space he'd left behind.
They didn't speak, and Julie didn't move until she heard Gill's car pull in, at which time she met her in the entrance hall.
"He still here?" Gill asked as she closed the door behind her. She slipped her handbag off over her shoulder and set it on the side table.
"Yeah," Julie confirmed, jerking her head in the direction of the living room. "In there." She pitched her voice at a murmur this time so they wouldn't be overheard. "You want me to go get a pint up the road or something, or…?"
"No," Gill shook her head, looking slightly panicked at the idea. "Will you just...hang around somewhere? I'll be fine with him, but come and drag me out if you hear me throw anything, yeah?"
"Okay." Julie offered a reassuring smile.
Sammy was in his room, and if he'd heard his dad arrive he'd had the good the sense to stay out of the way. Julie knocked on his door anyway, just to let him know that the living room was best treated as a no-go zone for the next little while.
Julie got the tea started. She knew Gill had been planning on cooking - the first time she had done, since all of this blew up - and there was a recipe book open on the bench and some fresh vegetables in the fridge. Julie opened a bottle of wine to let it breathe - Gill would undoubtedly need it - and set to washing and peeling and chopping. It worked well - she was close enough to hear the murmur of Gill and Dave's voices, but she was making enough noise that she couldn't quite hear what they were saying. That was good. Kept her from sticking her neck in, anyway.
They were in there for a good half hour. Voices raised and quieted, and then Gill went to fetch Sammy, and a brief discussion later, Dave left with a minimum of fuss.
Julie was pouring Gill a glass of wine when she found her way into the kitchen.
"Wow," she said as she took the glass gratefully, eyeing the various vegetables washed and chopped and set aside in bowls. "Didn't know you had it in you, Slap."
Julie smiled. "Somehow it's easy to cut things with Dave talking in the other room."
"Mm, that does sound therapeutic," Gill agreed, taking a large sip from her glass before she set it down. "I'll take over from here, if you like."
Julie surrendered the knife gladly, picked up her own wine glass and moved to sit on one of the breakfast bar stools, waiting for Gill to retrieve a tray of meat from the fridge before she spoke. "So, that went well? I didn't hear you throw anything, anyway."
Gill pierced the plastic film on the tray with the knife. "He's moving in with her," she said, glancing up at Julie. Her voice had an edge but her face was all control and trying. Julie took a sip of wine and left silence for her to fill.
"He's moving in with his whore, but that means he's not going to fight me on the house. We'll have to hash out the details with the solicitor, because he thinks he's worth more than I do, but that's okay. That's doable. He wants to see Sammy every other weekend, starting this week. Sammy's agreed. I'm glad of that, at least. That's important."
By the time Gill finished talking, she'd sliced the beef into neat strips, and she seemed satisfied by the sight of rendered flesh and bloody knife. She rinsed her hands in the sink then picked up her wine again. "He thinks you being here means we're shagging, by the way. He'll be spreading that round his office by the end of the week."
"Well," Julie said, "if you're going to do the time…" She cut herself off, looked down into her wine glass. They'd joke-flirted plenty in the last nineteen years, sometimes raucously, Gill safely married and Julie as often as not in one of her serially monogamous relationships. But things were different now, weren't they? The net was gone. Julie looked up again, hoping she hadn't just made things weird.
But Gill was smiling. "Steady on," she said, "we still don't know if he's given me syphilis yet."
oOo
"Hiya!" Julie announced herself on Friday evening as she let herself in the front door. "Gill, how do you feel about working in MIT?"
"What?" Gill called, and Julie heard footsteps on the stairs before Gill appeared.
"How do you feel about running your own MIT syndicate?" Julie repeated, setting her handbag on the side table.
Gill smiled. "Why, did you get fired?"
"Yeah," Julie agreed, shrugging her jacket off. "They caught me shagging Debbie Shepherd on my desk and they want me out by tomorrow. Paperwork's a bit sticky, but the desk is yours if you want it."
Gill's smile widened. Julie sniffed the air and wrinkled her nose. "Why do you smell of fish?"
"Prawns," Gill corrected. "It's what's for tea. I've been shelling."
"Upstairs?" Julie asked, quirking an eyebrow.
Gill's smile turned sly. "Well, no. Dave's picking up Sammy and a few of his things in half an hour. I thought we could spare one prawn, so I've sewn it into the hem of one of his suits. Little housewarming gift for him and the whore."
Julie sucked in a breath, then let it out again in a gust of helpless laughter. "Good god, woman, remind me to never, ever get on your bad side."
"I thought that was rather creative," Gill said, eyes twinkling. "I've impressed myself. But I should probably go and wash up so I don't give the game away."
"I'm longing to get changed," Julie agreed. "I'm serious about MIT, though, you know. They want another syndicate to work out of Oldham, and they're looking for someone to run it who's got enough experience and clout to handpick a team. I gave the DCS your number. You should think about it, because he'll probably call you." Julie was already unbuttoning her shirt as she headed into her room.
An hour later, Sammy and the prawn were on their way to Dave's new digs, and Julie and Gill were laughing about it over their wine while the rest of their dinner simmered in the pan.
"You know," Julie said, "if he finds that before it decomposes, he's going to think it was my doing."
Gill smiled and stirred the sauce in the pan. "Maybe it was, subliminally," she said, and winked at Julie's incredulous expression. "Your mere presence is a corruptive influence; I'm the rule-abiding good girl who wants to be bad, and you're the outspoken rebel who leads me astray."
Julie snorted. "That's some nice revisionist history, right there. You never met a rule you couldn't bend to your advantage, and I'm only outspoken because I never did learn to keep my gob shut."
Gill laughed. "Maybe. You do rub off on me, though."
"If only," Julie replied, her voice surprising her by dropping an octave.
Gill's smile twisted up and she glanced at Julie from beneath her eyelashes with an expression more playful than Julie had seen in years. It was the kind of look that set something warm quivering in Julie's stomach, but in the next moment Gill had glanced away again, down at the pan on the stove. She gave it a stir, ran a finger up the side of the spoon to catch some sauce, then sucked that finger into her mouth to taste what she'd made.
"Hm," she murmured, considering, as she pulled her finger away. She gave the sauce another stir and scooped some of it up, letting the steam rise off it for a few moments before she beckoned Julie over. "Come and taste this, tell me if you think it needs salt."
Julie slid off her stool, finding that the heat curled in her leant her movement a certain grace she didn't always feel. Slipping around the cabinets, she moved into Gill's space, leaning in until Gill raised the spoon to her lips, then taking a careful, deliberate sip from the end of it - the sauce was creamy and tomatoey and surprisingly boozy.
"Mm," she murmured as she pulled away, licking her lips. "I think it's perfect."
GIll's eyebrow was slightly raised; she seemed unaware of it, as though it was stuck that way. Silence hung for a moment between them, and then Gill smiled and set the spoon down. "Good," she said. "I'll put the prawns in, then. You can set the table."
Julie grinned. "Yes, ma'am," she said, pressing two fingers to her temple and saluting, before turning to do exactly that.
The dinner was delicious - the prawns and a generous helping of linguine tossed through that glorious pink sauce - so delicious, in fact that they barely talked through it, preferring instead to make vaguely obscene noises and dab sauce off their chins.
Julie did break for air to say: "I'm going to miss this, you know; you can come and cook for me any time."
"In that order?" Gill asked, and Julie nearly choked on her pasta.
"Gill!" she managed, picking up her wine glass for a gulp, but her wit failed her because she was too preoccupied making sure everything went down the right way.
"What?" Gill asked, picking her own glass up to take a determined sip. "I'm a single woman; I can flirt as much as I like."
Julie, recovered now, speared a prawn and wound pasta around her fork, smiling. "Oh, I wasn't complaining." She did wonder where this was going, though, couldn't help but push back a little. "I'm not fussy about the order in which I eat."
Now it was Gill's turn to react, and react she did. Her face was composed, but her skin betrayed her, pink rising in her cheeks to highlight her already prominent cheekbones. She smiled, and returned her attention to her meal, and Julie took her next mouthful but didn't lower her own gaze until she'd finished chewing it.
They let that hang there, neither addressed or dismissed, while they finished their meal, taking their time with their last mouthfuls and savouring both the food and the atmosphere. When finally they'd laid down their cutlery and were finishing off their wine, Gill spoke again.
"It's going to be strange when you go home. It's been wonderful having you here. I don't know what I would have done. Thank you." She said it gently, eyes earnest, and any jokey quip Julie might have responded with died on her tongue.
"I'm glad I could be here," she said, smiling back. "Glad you finally did what you needed to." It had the potential to open a can of worms, a statement like that, and Julie was a little uncertain after she said it. Thus far, they'd managed to avoid having the conversation about how much Julie had known about Dave's philandering, and why she'd never said anything (only what she'd heard in rumours, for the first part, though some of them were quite reliable; as for the second, well, she had tried, more than once, but each time Gill had shut her down quick-smart, and at one point it had almost cost them their friendship). Julie wondered if they were going to hash that out now - an idea that she found strangely disappointing, given the atmosphere during the meal and how such a discussion would ruin it.
But Gill didn't seem inclined to, simply watched Julie with those still-warm eyes for a moment before she replied, "Me too."
She drained her wine glass and rose from her seat, picking up her empty plate and reaching across for Julie's. "Pudding?" she asked, arching a brow.
Julie grinned. "What've you got?"
"Oh, I'm sure I can rustle up something," Gill said, sounding coy and flicking Julie another one of those playful glances.
Julie leaned back in her seat, cradling her wine glass in her hand, and watched Gill set the bowls in the sink and then stealthily navigate the kitchen, sliding something out of the fridge and onto the bench, holding it low so Julie couldn't see.
"Why am I being spoiled?" Julie asked, as Gill pulled two bowls from the cupboard and rummaged around in the drawer for cutlery. She did it all theatrically, like she was performing a magic trick.
Gill smiled at her. "Just, you know, as thanks, and, well..." And here she paused, biting her lip as she performed some tricky maneuver - balancing something on a knife? - "we are celebrating."
"Are we?" Julie asked. "Celebrating what?"
Gill performed the tricky maneuver again, and took a moment to arranged whatever-it-was, before she looked up again. "I got my results from the clinic today," she said, picking up the two bowls and returning to the table, "and I've got a clean bill of health. No nasty surprises."
Julie grinned. "That's fantastic," she said, "I'm so happy for you." God, she couldn't imagine how it might have been if Dave had left her with something nasty and incurable.
Gill laid the bowl in front of her, and Julie let out an involuntary "Ooh!" The dessert was meringue roulade, one of her favourites, stuffed with fresh berries and cream. "Did you make this?" she asked, impressed.
Gill laughed. "It's not hard. I left the office early, last day and all. I had time."
"Yum," she said, and picked up her spoon. She'd nearly drained her wine glass, and Gill had finished hers, so she scooped up a spoonful of the dessert and raised that instead. "Cheers to your health," she said, and ate, letting out a moan when the sweet concoction touched her tongue. "My god," she murmured, once she'd swallowed. "Talk about the way to a woman's heart."
Gill was smiling, delighted. She watched Julie for a moment before she started on her own serve with considerably more dignity. "I feel free," she said, "today, finally. In that way you do when you don't even know you've been trapped by something. I want to celebrate that, too."
"How?" Julie asked, licking cream off her spoon.
Gill's answer was a look so heated that Julie nearly fell off her chair.
Julie made absolutely certain that she tasted her pudding. After that look, she wanted nothing more than to wolf it down and open herself up to whatever possibilities the night was offering, but Gill had made this, and it was too good to waste. She took her time with it, deliberately, but even so, by the time she finished her brain was buzzing with sugar and anticipation.
Neither of them moved, for a time. They sat there regarding each other, digesting a little and feeling out the weight of the air. Julie could read Gill's body language well enough, the heat in her eyes and her cheeks, and she tried to make her own posture open and welcoming. She was definitely willing to explore whatever it was Gill was angling for with these looks and this wining and dining, but she wanted Gill to voice it, define its parameters, before she responded. This was Gill's home, after all, and Gill was the one who'd just ended her marriage. Julie wasn't going to do anything unless she took the lead. It had been twenty years since the last time they'd looked at each other like this, twenty years since Julie had even conceived of it as a possibility. She was more than willing to let things keep going along as they had been, if Gill chose not to push.
Eventually, Gill rose from her seat. She picked up her bowl and came around the table to collect Julie's, and Julie thought she was going to clear the crockery away and the moment would pass and that would be that, but midway to reaching for Julie's bowl she set her own down on top of it instead.
"Julie," she whispered, voice aching with need, and Julie swiveled toward her, overcome by the sound of it; not just the tone but her name spoken like that - Julie couldn't remember the last time Gill had called her anything but 'Slap'. Her face was similarly breathtaking when Julie looked up at her, expression all nervous desire.
She reached up and touched Julie's cheek, raked Julie's hair back with her fingers. "It's been a long time," she murmured. "I'm out of practice with all this. Will you celebrate with me?" Her thumb trailed over Julie's cheekbone.
Julie smiled, reaching up to curl a hand around Gill's waist in a gesture of reassurance before she replied. "That depends. Do you mean just for tonight, or something more? Because I'm happy with the former, but I think you should have your rebound fling with someone else."
Gill laughed. "Yeah, that probably would be a bad idea, trying that with you. You'd end up moved in and buying us a dog by Monday." Julie arched an eyebrow in mock offense, and Gill continued. "Just for tonight. Just this once."
Julie chuckled. "Well, I think that ship's sailed, unless we're doing more revisionist history."
"We probably shouldn't count those," Gill said. "I don't look like I did back then."
"Nor do I," Julie assured. "Kiss me," she added, reaching up to tug Gill down.
Gill did, leaning down as Julie arched her back, and their lips met in a closed-mouthed but lingering kiss that felt both familiar and new. Gill's fingers tangled in Julie's hair, tugging her head back, and she leaned her forearms on Julie's shoulders and smiled down at her. "Your lips are still the same shape," she murmured.
"I'm not sure if yours are," Julie murmured, sliding her hand around to the small of Gill's back and tugging her closer. "Might need to try again and see."
Gill grinned, leaning down again, hands fisting in Julie's hair, and this time Julie found herself thoroughly snogged. She couldn't move, between Gill's arms on her shoulders and the tight grip in her hair - although she tried, just a little, just enough to feel the pull against her scalp - couldn't do anything but surrender to Gill's mouth. The kiss was demanding, hot, and Julie found herself groaning into it, her fingers curling helplessly against Gill's back. When Gill pulled away, finally, teeth tugging at Julie's bottom lip as she did, Julie felt thoroughly devoured, slack-jawed and addled.
"You haven't," Julie breathed, losing her words halfway through the thought and taking a moment to recover them, "haven't changed at all. Can still make me…" And she lost the sentence again, and laughed at herself.
"Glad to hear it," Gill replied, lips twisting up into a smug, teasing sort of smile, clearly drawing confidence from Julie's response. She twirled the ends of Julie's hair around her fingers. "Come to bed with me." She stepped back, letting one arm drop, the other extended in invitation.
Julie took it, allowing herself to be urged to her feet, but as soon as she was up she felt the need to regain some control, mostly over herself and her own responses. She tightened her grip on Gill's hand and tugged her forward, catching her about the waist again and pulling her close. Her fingers found their way under the back of Gill's top and onto her skin. Julie arched an eyebrow. "Does it have to be bed?" she asked, stepping forward and backing Gill up until she was pressed against the kitchen bench. She lowered her mouth to Gill's ear. "Here would work just fine." She nipped Gill's earlobe and felt Gill shiver against her.
"That is thoroughly unhygienic," Gill murmured, but made no move to pull away as Julie slid both hands round to cup her arse, taking a moment to enjoy the feel of it before lifting Gill up to sit on the benchtop. It brought them to eye level - made Gill slightly taller again, in fact - and they gazed at each other for a few moments, Julie's hands rubbing back and forth over the tops of Gill's thighs, which parted to welcome Julie closer.
So they were doing this again, were they? Julie's head fell to one side, mouth curling up as she appreciated the sensation of her mind and senses adjusting, taking Gill in not as the attractive but unavailable close friend she'd been for the last twenty years, but as a lover - or at least a friend who occasionally consented to being a lover for a night. Colour was rising in Gill's skin, turning her cheeks a rosy pink and creeping up her throat from beneath her collar. Her eyes were large, dark with arousal, and her lips parted. Her expression was focussed, deadly earnest, like it had been the first time they'd done this.
Julie felt a smile tugging at her mouth, answering the honesty in Gill's expression. She blinked slowly, kept eye contact, reaching for the buttons of Gill's blouse and tugging them open, rolling each one between her fingers before she pulled it loose, taking her time to ensure each one popped. She said nothing as she worked the blouse down over Gill's shoulders and off, leaving her in her bra and skin rising to gooseflesh. Julie took her time again, then, dropping her gaze to rake over Gill's body - her small breasts daintily encased in white lace, the little swell of belly above the waistband of her jeans, her skin all flushed with colour. Like Julie, she'd softened a little in the years since they'd last done this - where once skin had sprung back after every movement, now there were little feathered lines along her creases, and faded stretch marks from pregnancy decorated her belly like pale tiger stripes. It was glorious, the story of her life written across her skin like that, and Julie couldn't resist reaching out to touch her, to feel the texture of her and the way she quivered, tender, beneath Julie's fingers.
"You're beautiful," she whispered, looking up at Gill's face again, certain that her reaction was obvious enough but thinking maybe Gill needed to hear that anyway, needed to know that being traded in for a younger model by her shit of a husband said more about his shallowness than it did about her desirability.
"Julie." Gill did it again, whispered her name like a prayer, and pulled her in for another kiss, hot and full of need.
This was getting intense. It was perhaps a little too intense for something they'd agreed would be one night only, and when the kiss ended Julie pulled back with a view to lightening the mood again, moving things along. Her fingers slid up Gill's back to work the clasp of her bra undone, and she she let her mouth drop down to Gill's throat.
"Don't know why you bothered with all that cooking," Julie murmured, smiling as she kissed Gill's neck, tugged her bra open. "Not when you're such a delectable treat yourself." She slipped Gill's bra straps off her shoulders and tugged the garment away.
Gill laughed, hands dropping to grip the edge of the bench after her bra fell away, arching her shoulders and pressing her bare breasts against Julie's clothed ones. "Got to do something to keep our stamina up; we're not young enough to go on alcohol and desire any more."
"Mm. Sounds like you've got quite a night planned." Julie's mouth resumed its attack on Gill's throat. One of her hands pressed again into the curve of Gill's back, urging that arch, the other working on the button of her jeans as she kissed her way down to Gill's collarbone, mouthing her way along it right to Gill's shoulder, then down around the curve of her breast.
"Well, not 'planned', exactly, but…" Gill's voice trailed off as Julie got her fly open and slipped her hand inside, wriggling down to cup her through knickers that were the same sort of lacy as her bra.
Julie gave the side of Gill's breast another kiss before glancing up at her. "Say that again?" she asked, grinning, flexing her fingers inside Gill's jeans.
Gill laughed, but shook her head. "Not planned. Considered, yes. But I didn't know if I'd be brave enough. Didn't know if you'd say yes. So not…" She let out a whine as Julie's finger found her wet and pressed right into it through her knickers "...planned."
"If you can make that sort of distinction," Julie said, getting her finger around the hem of Gill's knickers and dragging the fabric over her, "I'm clearly not doing my job properly. Time to up my game, I think."
Julie's free hand dropped to the waistband of Gill's jeans, pushing them down enough that they loosened around Gill's hips and gave her other hand a little more wiggle room. Gill shifted on the countertop, assisting, and Julie pulled her hand away just long enough to get it properly inside Gill's knickers.
"Mm," Julie murmured, feeling her way, the back of her hand straining against fabric even as her fingers sought out the slick shape of Gill's sex, felt her quiver and watched the answering response on her face, bottom lip bitten red and eyes blinking heavily. "Mm, I remember this. How much I like looking at you." Gill's fingers gripped the edge of the counter tight, she dropped her head back and arched her hips, pushing herself against Julie's hand and writhing. "My god, Slap," Julie breathed, blood beating hot at the sight of her.
She dove back in. Capturing Gill's mouth, they shared a hot little kiss again, and then Julie was bending Gill back over the bench, kissing her way down throat again as she stroked, feeling Gill's thigh tremble against her hip as she nudged it open wider, mouthing across Gill's breasts, straining forward as her back arched, small and still pert for that, nipples offered up as perfect rosy mouthfuls. Julie took one, greedily sucking it into her mouth as she slipped two fingers into Gill's cunt and felt her hips arch off the bench, arms and thighs trembling as they supported her weight. Gill's breath was coming in moans, wavery and trembling, and Julie responded with an appreciative one of her own, muffled and vibrating around her mouthful of nipple. She could hear, too, the slick wet suck of Gill's cunt around her fingers, constrained by the fabric that bound her hand but somehow louder for that, plunging and curling and rocking, cradling Gill in her hand.
"Julie," Gill gasped. "Yes, don't stop."
"Wouldn't dream of it," Julie managed, lifting her head for long enough to switch nipples, keeping up the movement of her hand as she left one nipple slick and glistening and gave her attention to the other, swirling her tongue around it before biting down lightly. Her unused hand, for some time clutched uselessly around the back of Gill's pants, she commanded to move, stroking Gill wherever she could reach - back, hip, up and down her arm, coming finally to fall atop Gill's own hand as her breath began to falter and Julie concentrated her efforts on bringing Gill off. She kept her fingers moving fast and steady, curved the heel of her palm so that it was grinding against Gill's clit. Gill's hips writhed, her breath came fast and shallow. Her hand twisted abruptly under Julie's, fingers grasping hers and squeezing tight, letting out a high pitched whine as she squirmed and shuddered against Julie's palm.
Julie's hand rocked against Gill, carrying her through her climax and holding her after, flattening against her as all movement stilled and nothing remained but the the sound of their breathing. After a moment, she threaded her fingers through Gill's, lifting her head and using the grip on Gill's hand to tug her upright, out of the awkward semi-reclined position she'd ended up in. Gill came gratefully, allowing herself to be pulled upright, and when they were at eye-level again she sagged forward against Julie, letting her forehead rest against Julie's and curling a lazy arm around her shoulder. Julie eased her hand out of Gill's knickers and let it slide around her hip, and for a time they stayed like that, breathing and studying each other's eyelashes.
When Gill had recovered, she pulled back, surveying Julie with heavy, sated eyes that were nonetheless still sparking with heat. "Now," she murmured, trailing a thumb over Julie's palm. "You're coming to bed with me."
"Bed?" Julie asked, quirking an eyebrow. "Settee's closer."
"Bed," Gill answered, adamant. "I want to reclaim it."
"Ah." Julie nodded in understanding. "Lead the way, then." Taking a step back, she helped Gill down off the bench, watched her legs wobble for a moment before she steadied herself. She tugged her jeans back up around her waist but left them open, and the rest of her clothing stayed where it lay discarded. Catching Julie's hand again, Gill tugged her towards the stairs.
They made it to the bedroom in record time. As soon as they were through the doorway, Julie tugged Gill into her arms again, skating her hands over that bare skin and bending her head to capture Gill's mouth again. Gill's hands fisted in the fabric of Julie's t-shirt, responding hungrily to the kiss, but when Julie's fingers dipped beneath her waistband again, sliding down the curve of her arse, Gill pulled back.
"Stop," she breathed, but there was a smile on her lips. "Stop spoiling me. It's been twenty years since I touched someone different; it's my turn." Her look was so intent, so focussed and full of desire, that Julie's hands fell away immediately.
"All right," Julie whispered, and found that her voice was shaky. Gill smiled, feline and pleased, and twined the fabric of Julie's tshirt around her fist. Still smiling, she tugged Julie in the direction of the bed, and Julie followed her in a mindless stumble. Before they reached it, Gill turned them, pushing Julie down onto the covers.
She went, catching Gill's hand on the way down to keep herself upright, to pull Gill closer. Gill reached for her top, getting fingers under it and tugging it up, and Julie lifted her arms and allowed herself to be undressed. Gill wasted no time removing Julie's bra, and Julie blessed that singular focus, because she'd certainly not worn the underwear she would have picked had she imagined it would be removed by someone else. Thus bared, Julie found herself looking up at Gill, having her t-shirt-mussed hair smoothed back and feeling surprisingly naked under Gill's gaze.
She hadn't expected this. It hadn't been nearly as long for Julie since she'd been with someone new, and she wasn't generally a self-conscious person, but it had been a long time since Gill had seen her. It was strange to remember that the only time they'd undressed each other, they'd been barely twenty. Julie hoped she lived up to the memory.
Gill smiled down at her, running a tentative hand over her shoulder and down her arm, trailing a thumb over the sensitive crease at the inside of her elbow. "I remember you," she whispered, "just like this."
"Do you?" Julie asked, breath catching even as she made light of the comment. "I don't know if that's a compliment to my present self or an insult to my past."
Gill chuckled. "Not..." She trailed off. "None of that even matters, does it? Not like that. I mean open, just here with me and nowhere else. I've never known anyone as honest and present as you."
Julie smiled, said nothing. Couldn't; she was too full of this fragile hot feeling, heart swelling and breaking at the same time, because Gill should have had that always, should have had someone who would look at her like that every day, but Julie hadn't realised that she was. She wasn't sure what to do with that, now that she knew. So be it, she supposed, but it did feel - again - a little too intense for a one-time thing, for something she had told herself she could take or leave. It left her feeling vulnerable and itching for action to relieve it, but she'd promised to let Gill set the pace this time, could do nothing but ache and twitch inside these feelings that were warm but not entirely comfortable.
Gill held her gaze, explored Julie's skin with both hands, stroking fingers over her throat and shoulders, trailing over her chest and down to palm her breasts, eyes alight with lust. Julie's blood felt thick and heavy, her skin ragged with sensation, and she shifted on the bed, squeezing her thighs together for a moment as all of it - the pleasure and the discomfort - coalesced in the throb of her cunt and a powerful need for the oblivion her body could offer her.
"Slap," she whispered, voice gravelly.
"Julie," Gill replied.
Gill urged Julie back on the bed, reaching for her waistband and tugging at it, working both trousers and knickers off with Julie's assistance. Tossing them aside, she shed her own, then seemed to think of something.
"Wait just a moment," she said, and darted over to the dresser. Julie, limbs warm and heavy, took the moment to collect herself and shift further up the bed, finding a comfortable position amongst the pillows and watching as Gill took the lid off a heavy jar candle, then tipped it sideways and lit it with a lighter conveniently placed beside. "I bought this today," she said, glancing over her shoulder at Julie as she righted the jar. "Supposed to be cleansing. Seems appropriate."
Julie grinned, lounging against a pillow and arching a brow. "And you didn't plan any of this," she said, deepy unconvinced.
Gill laughed. "I really didn't. I mean it," she added, catching Julie's expression, then opening the top drawer of the dresser. "I actually bought this, too. First time I've ever owned one. That was my real plan for reclaiming the bedroom." She looked a little shy, holding a vibrator in her hand - a small sleek thing with a curved tip and a pair of rabbit ears. "Light a candle and spend some quality time with Celeste here."
Julie's smile broadened. "Well, bring her over here," she said. "I don't mind a threesome, long as you're okay with sharing."
Gill looked up, surprise written in her eyebrows. Clearly, it had never occurred to her that a sex toy could be used in bed with a partner. She adjusted quickly, though, covering the surprise with a smile. "I don't mind," she murmured, turning positively wicked as she came back to bed - naked and confident with the little thing in her hand - right into Julie's waiting arms.
They didn't use the toy immediately. Gill let it fall onto the covers beside them as she focussed her attention on exploring Julie with her hands and mouth, getting her on her back and demonstrating that eagerness to touch with a determination that was almost torturous. She stroked and nibbled and sucked at Julie's skin, seeming to delight in every gasp and moan and growl she dragged from Julie, grinning and dipping her head in for more when she was particularly pleased with a noise Julie made. She wouldn't let Julie reciprocate, either, caught her wrist when she reached out and pinned it to the bed, and Julie felt helpless and wild as an aggressor cowed, writhing and aching and so needy it scared her.
An aggressor. She didn't usually think of herself like that, and perhaps it was the wrong word. Less aggressive than giving, she supposed - as much as she could suppose about anything when Gill's mouth was wrapped around her nipple and fingers were teasing against her thighs - but over the years she had fallen more often than not into the role of giver. She was taller and broader than most of her partners had been, and often had a more authoritative personality, and so it had come to feel rather natural. She took a great deal of pleasure from it, too, in taking care of her lovers, but Gill didn't know how much a part of her that had become, and Gill hadn't had to negotiate roles with anyone for a very long time and so was simply doing what felt natural and right to her. It felt good to be this spoiled - Christ, did it feel good - but it set her nerves electric with tension as well as need; there was something quite vulnerable about feeling so desperate.
She looked down at Gill, hot little mouth pressing kisses against her stomach, one hand toying with her nipple. She could feel Gill's hair tickling her, watched the lines of her throat flex as she mouthed her way up Julie's breastbone, and it was too much. Julie's head was spinning, her skin afire. Her nipple was rock hard and aching between Gill's fingers and her hips were writhing against the bed, desperate for Gill to touch her where it mattered.
"Slap," Julie hissed, breathless, borrowing a phrase she'd never forget, "can you get on with it, maybe?"
Gill lifted her head and grinned. "Don't think I've forgotten how much of an awful tease you were the last time we did this," she murmured, pressing a kiss against the nipple her fingers weren't teasing. "What's good for the goose..."
"Ancient history," Julie breathed, squirming. "Please, Gill." She couldn't take any more.
Gill must have seen the genuine desperation in Julie's face, because she relented. "All right." She reached over to retrieve the vibrator from where she'd dropped it, flicked it on, then stretched herself out over Julie's body, knees straddling one leg as she nudged the other open wide, holding herself up with a hand above Julie's shoulder as the other worked the toy down between her thighs.
Julie groaned as the toy touched her, as Gill slid the steadily vibrating tip of it along her slick, aching flesh. Her eyes fluttered closed and she pressed her head back into the pillow; she felt Gill's mouth catch hers and swallow her moan as the toy filled her.
Things blurred, then. Julie's head spun, she arched arched her hips and groaned. Gill worked the toy in and out, at first slowly, uncertain. Julie growled appreciatively, curling a hand up to clutch at Gill's back, and responding to her urging, Gill pushed deeper, faster, gaining confidence.
"Yess," Julie whispered, "like that, yes, just like that."
Gill's hand worked and Julie pushed back against her, squeezing tight around the vibrating shaft and feeling the hum of the rabbit ears against her clit. Her mouth fell open and she could hear her breath coming fast and heavy. She opened her eyes to the sight of Gill watching her, expression both feral and wondrous.
"Are you going to come for me?" she asked, a smile on her face, shoulder flexing as her hand worked the toy, flicking her head to toss the hair from her face. Her cheeks were flushed, lips parted; she looked almost as wild as Julie felt. "You look beautiful. Come. I want to see you." She angled the toy up, pressing that vibrating tip against Julie's g-spot. "Come for me, Julie."
It was her name that did it; the twist of intense and vulnerable that kicked in her gut at the sound sent her flying over the edge. Julie cried out, jerking, cunt clenching tight around the vibrator and thighs pinning Gill's wrist, eyes rolling back in her head and spinning, spinning, clamped fast to Gill while she burned.
Hot. Hot and trembling, she was, when her senses returned. Boneless, she lolled on the bed, eyes opening to find Gill smiling at her. She'd slipped the vibrator out and let it fall aside onto the covers, but she pressed herself close, stretching her naked body out along Julie's and smoothing the hair away from Julie's sweat-damp brow.
She wore a small, satisfied smile. "I'd almost forgotten that," she whispered, once Julie's eyes swiveled to meet hers. "What that looked like. What you look like, when you let go." Her finger traced Julie's hairline.
That smile was far too gentle. The look in Gill's eyes was too warm, too close to loving for what this was. It was an obvious transference of the gratitude Gill felt for Julie's role in the last few weeks of her life into this new context, but now that Julie was relaxed and exhausted after her climax, she was able to regain her own equilibrium, and a bit of perspective.
She smiled, fingers sliding up Gill's back. "Soppy cow. So, do you think you did it? Effectively reclaimed the bed?"
"Mm," Gill murmured, trailing a hand down over Julie's stomach to her hip. "Definitely. You wash everything away."
Bloody hell. She really was feeling affectionate, wasn't she? "Gill," Julie whispered, "you do remember that I'm going home tomorrow, don't you?" She let her hand smooth over the curve of Gill's back in a gesture of reassurance, but she wanted to make sure they were on the same page.
"I know," Gill replied, smile turning a little sad. "I sort of wish you didn't have to." Her fingers traced a pattern on Julie's hipbone.
"I think that's the rebound talking," Julie murmured, quirking a brow. "That or the afterglow."
"Maybe," Gill answered, resting her cheek on Julie's shoulder. "But still."
"There is no 'but' while you're on the rebound," Julie said, planting a kiss on Gill's forehead. "I'm going home in the morning."
She would, and she knew she was right to. Even so, Gill's words warmed her, and her resolve didn't stop her from curling her arm protectively around Gill's body and enjoying the contact while it lasted.
The candle burned steady in its jar on the dresser, flame like a tiny beginning.
Note: I would like to acknowledge that the prawn in Dave's trousers thing is a detail from Cath Staincliffe's tie-in Scott & Bailey novels. I loved it and so gleefully stole it, but since I know not everyone is familiar with the books, don't want to claim it as my own :).