A/N- So... y'know how this whole story was about 20k words before... yeah, this chapter is a little over 17... so it's kinda fucking long. It just kept getting bigger and bigger and I couldn't stop myself adding shit to it so... anyway... don't say I never did nothin' for ya. Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed and followed and faved and all that... I truly appreciate every single one of them. Also, once again extra special thanks to The Person Who Read This... especially this one because it has some stuff in it I really wasn't so sure about and they helped me feel a lot better about it. So yeah... you're the absolute best. Speaking of which... this one is rated M(ish) for... things... and stuff... (this is a flashback... again, too long to put it all in italics...)

Everything Has Changed

FIVE YEARS AGO

In the end, it was almost frighteningly easy for Piper Chapman to fall in love with Alex Vause.

Piper had been taught practically since she was old enough to understand the English language that her life was to consist of several stages, all meticulously planned and scripted, as though it were a play she was reluctantly starring in. The first act: preparation to be a proper young lady, learning manners and proper etiquette, going to finishing school, her first debutante ball, being chaste and modest and charming and clever (though not too clever, lest she be deemed too "troublesome" for her husband). The second: to use the skills she had learned to catch said husband (only a proper type of man of course), to allow herself to be charmed by him, to laugh at his jokes and praise his intellect, to flatter his accomplishments until he was convinced enough of her breeding and manners that he proposed. And of course, the third: to be a good and dutiful wife, to give her husband strong sons, and to be at his side and support all his endeavors through to the end of her life…

Needless to say, it had not taken long for this particular future to lose much of its appeal.

(she had once made the grievous error of asking her mother what were to become of her own ambitions in this rather dreary scenario... her mother had looked at her, quite scandalized, as though she had proposed shedding all her clothes and running about the woods under the light of a full moon chanting in Latin. Carol had proceeded to lecture her about how the only ambition a girl of Piper's breeding should have was to have the most successful husband she could find and hope that her sons were even more so. Piper had never found occasion to bring such a thing up to her again.)

Perhaps it was that every man paraded in front of her was like an exact duplicate of the one before. All with the same bland smiles and false laughs and impeccable manners. She felt a connection to none of them. Her mother told her she was being foolish, that to expect the grand and glorious version of love she read about in her books was unreasonable (were it up to Carol Chapman, her daughter would not have read such things at all).

Certainly not one of those bland Boston gentlemen were anything like Alex Vause (at least not when they were in her mother's drawing room drinking tea and complimenting Piper's bearing). They were chaste and respectable (at least when they weren't whoring about or smoking and swearing heartily at the club). Alex was fiery and wanton and made no effort to hide exactly what she wanted from her, how she felt about her. She practically shot sparks from her eyes. And what had surprised her even more than the enigmatic brunette's attentions was that Piper felt exactly the same way about Alex. Looking at her was like striking a flint that warmed Piper's insides from her heart to the parts her mother would have her believe were out of bounds to any but her future husband. And Piper knew that it wasn't just lust she was feeling. It was more. An emotional connection like none she had ever experienced, as though they had known one another their whole lives (known each other in a hundred lives before and a hundred still to come), as though they could see into one another's souls, as though they were connected.

At first she had believed it was simply because Alex was new… the type of person she had never experienced before. Or that it was the peculiarity of a woman looking at her the way Alex did (such things weren't spoken of in the Chapman household, but Piper was well aware of them… well aware that she herself found her senses as... stirred for a beautiful woman as they were for a handsome man… but she couldn't find it in herself to feel ashamed of such things or to believe they were wrong, no matter what the good reverend might preach from his pulpit on Sunday mornings or what her mother might lecture her about over Sunday afternoon tea. At a some point, she had come to believe that the true key to happiness was doing the exact opposite of what her mother thought was correct…).

She had felt the connection so quickly, a stirring of it when she'd first opened the door to her that day, that she had been sure the novelty was the underlying cause. But it the feeling had only intensified every time Piper saw her, every time she spoke to her, or learned more about her. Eventually she stopped trying to overthink it and just gave in to it and she had not regretted it a single moment since...

July 14

Piper got back from feeding the chickens and helping Ford mend a section of fence in the pasture just in time to see the tall brunette clamber stiffly up on to her horse and start back towards town at a trot. She glanced down at the men's pocket watch she carried while she was working. It had been nearly an hour since the woman had arrived. Piper felt a strange pang of... something... as she watched her go. was it disappointment? but that was foolish. She merely shaken the woman's hand and then retreated to start her work for the day while Celeste spoke with the stranger (Alex... she'd said her name was Alex).

"Who was that, Grandmother?"

Celeste looked up at her in the doorway. "Someone I haven't seen in a long while, dear. Her mother worked for me for over 15 years, and she was raised here."

"Do you... does she intend to return?"

Her grandmother raised an eyebrow, "Possibly... why?"

Piper looked down at her hands, "I was simply curious..." she muttered, then, "I came back to get my gloves, I forgot them and I have to help Ford with the wire atop the new fence section..."

Celeste nodded, seeming not to notice the slight change in her tone. For some absurd reason, Piper felt her cheeks reddening. She cleared her throat and said, "I'll see you for lunch," and then walked out the back door, pulling on her gloves as she headed towards the fence to help Ford, trying to put aside the odd, warm flutter in her chest as she thought about the way that woman had looked at her when she'd been introduced... as though she were trying to look inside of her.

August 10

After her initial visit, Alex had been stopping by the Chapman ranch every day, usually in the morning, when she felt strongest, before her healing body would betray her bit by bit: talking things over with Celeste, just the two of them (if Piper was in the house and not out working, she would greet Alex briefly, politely, a hint of curiosity and something else in her eyes before retreating to leave them to their discussion). There were emotional words, raised voices, sometimes tears.

It was difficult, even more difficult than her talks with Red and Nicky because Celeste and Dan had saved her mother's life, had helped raised Alex, had taught her so much, tried so hard to make her into a decent person... and she had betrayed all of that when she left without even a backward glance. It nearly broke her to know that she would never be able to reconcile with Dan... Celeste was the last person left in the world who loved her like a mother, the only person aside from Nicky she felt she needed true forgiveness from (all the others were dead... and they hovered around her always).

But it got easier... they talked everything through and Alex soon realized that, much like the prodigal son, she had been forgiven as soon as she walked back in the door (whether she believed she was worth of such forgiveness or not was beside the point... Celeste had granted it, and Alex could be nothing but grateful for it).

After a week of such intense talks, the truly difficult part was over, the worst of the confessions and heated words had past, and the true healing could begin. She'd continued speaking to Celeste near on every other day. It turned out that the old lady still came up to Red's for either a midday meal or supper at least two or three times a week, so Alex would haul her slowly healing carcass down from her room and join her and they would talk. Celeste would almost always bring Piper with her, and Alex's interest in the girl had only intensified the more she got to know her.

Piper was exactly the sort of girl that Alex had always been wary of, the kind that she had rarely encountered in Haven, and had almost never had a pleasant experience without outside of it. The ones she had met had been empty headed, vacuous fools who had observed the way she dressed, the way she spoke, and had immediately held her in contempt for it, treating her as though she were an imbecile or turning up their noses at her as though she were beneath even their barest attention. Girls who had been coddled since the day they were born, who couldn't be bothered to do an honest day's work, and who treated those who did as barely worth their attention.

But Piper wasn't like that at all, which she supposed shouldn't have been surprising, considering that Celeste was the only other highborn woman who had ever been kind to her and Piper came from the same stock. She was, indeed, inexperienced, and she hadn't ever done what Alex would consider real work, but the difference was that she truly wished to try. By the time Alex met her she had been working for Celeste for near on a month, and was quite good at most of the basic tasks around the farm and improving at the others (although she was still having trouble mastering some, and hadn't even tried a few). She was also well read, smarter than anyone Alex had ever met, even Ford's girl Tasha, who seemed to know everything. And unlike some people who had a goodly amount of brains, she didn't lord it over anyone. She enjoyed expounding on any given subject, but was never trying to prove herself more intelligent than her audience or show off, she genuinely wished for them to be educated. It was one of the many things that drew Alex, always eager to learn all she could, to the young blonde.

For all her knowledge, Piper still had a lot to learn about life out here, and she was nothing if not eager to soak up anything anyone wanted to tell her. And Piper seemed just as fascinated by Alex as Alex was with her. Some people would tire of the girls' endless questions, but Alex had infinite patience with her. It was something that was often remarked upon by those who would watch them sit at the saloon in the afternoon, Piper questioning incessantly, Alex answering with never wavering forbearance... Alex was not known to suffer fools, but for Piper she would sit for hours if she wanted her to. Nicky gave her shit about it, but Alex just shrugged and said, "She really wants to know... who'm I to say no to that?"

But for all of the blonde's inexperience, there remained that air of melancholy to her, the mysterious thing that Alex had sensed when she'd first met her. Alex hadn't asked her about it outright. She hadn't known Piper that long, really, and she honestly wanted to see if she could figure it out on her own first. She knew it probably wasn't pleasant and that it likely had to do with the family left behind in Boston, the one she never spoke of. She also observed that Piper never touched more than a glass or two of any alcohol at any given time. This could have simply been natural temperance, but there was something about the flash of panic that ran through her eyes at the moment someone asked if she wanted a drink in the first place that told Alex there was more to it. It was no longer the primary thing that drew her to Piper, but it was certainly something that she found herself thinking on at odd times.

And so the weeks went by, Alex slowly getting better, having little to do but read, play cards with the Red's whores, talk to Nicky... and visit with Piper and Celeste. It didn't take long for her interest in Piper to turn from intrigue to attraction, and not just desire. Alex had desired plenty of women, had had women when she wanted them, and there was obviously an element of that to this (Piper was beautiful), but it was the deeper connection she felt to her, the feeling that she could spend all the time in the world with her, that she wanted to do so, that was foreign to her. And quite honestly, she wasn't entirely sure what the fuck she ought to do about that...

Because although she could sense Piper was interested in her, she had no idea whether she could be so selfish as to allow the girl to fall in love with someone so fucking damaged...

Alex was still far from her full strength, but she was getting a might tired of the same four walls. Even before her mother had died, she'd had a restless sort of spirit. And though the impulse for adventure and action had been tamped down with ruthless efficiency by her years with Kubra, she still felt the need to at least be out and moving, working, doing something, if only to keep her mind from circling back over all the things she'd done (without the comfort of constant drink, movement and the company of others was all she had, and though she didn't dislike most of the folk in Haven, there were few she felt she could truly let her guard down around and really talk to).

On this particular afternoon, she and Celeste were sitting at a table at Red's, listening to Piper talk about a book she had been reading (Piper enjoyed expounding on various topics and Alex found that she enjoyed listening… some of the others simply nodded and smiled when Piper spoke, but Alex listened carefully… the blonde liked to educate, and the brunette liked to learn… it was something she hadn't done much of when she was riding with Kubra, and now she soaked it up like the desert soaked up a heavy rain).

"...so in fact, Elizabeth could maintain her independence whilst still marrying because Darcy respected her and loved her for all those things that others may have found too forward or uncouth in her."

Alex nodded, "As he should… she's a fiery one. Like that sort myself," she added, without thinking. Then winced inwardly, trying to think how that might have sounded. It wasn't that she was ashamed of herself, she just didn't always know how people would feel about how she was, and… if she was being honest, she wanted Piper to like her.

Piper was looking over at her, head tilted slightly to the side, eyes shining with curiosity.

Alex cleared her throat and turned to Celeste, changing the subject before Piper could respond, "The Nun says I'm well enough to start workin' again, at least a little."

"Are you sure? It's been less than two months. You almost died…"

"I know I did, but… but I'm better now. I ain't completely back to where I was, but I'm good enough for at least some honest work. And I ain't made for idleness… Idleness means I just… I just sit thinkin' about things…"

"What kind of occupation were you thinking?"

"I was… well, I was wonderin' if maybe you could use some help. I mean… being a ranch hand was what I was always plannin' on all those years ago and…"

"You always thought the work was boring… you never failed to find a way to do less of it…"

"I was just a kid back then… and I've learnt a few things since…" Alex met Celeste's eyes, earnestness pouring out of her own, "Please, Celeste… I need to do this. I need to prove to myself that I can try to be normal again…"

Celeste examined her for a long moment, then nodded slowly, "Well, I reckon we could use an extra pair of hands..."

Alex smiled broadly, pleased at the thought. She told herself it was because she was going to be helping Celeste, who really did need the help right now because one of Ford's girls (the sweet, somewhat wild eyed one) had fallen and broken her leg, which meant Ford was needed more often up at the livery. But Alex wasn't any good at lying to herself…and she had to admit that another part of it was that she would be around Celeste's granddaughter more...

Almost as though she was reading her mind, Celeste continued, "...and there's several things I've been meaning to have him teach Piper to do. You can help her along..."

Piper smiled brightly... (the smile that had rapidly become one of Alex's favorite sights in the world... when it was broad and genuine it was like it was made of liquid gold, warm and shining... it made her even more beautiful than she already was), "Oh that sounds wonderful! I barely even know how to ride a horse!"

Alex smiled back quietly, "Reckon that doesn't sound too bad..."

Piper had been fascinated enough by the tall brunette when she was only seeing her once every other day for a couple of hours with either her grandmother or Nicky or the rest of the saloon crowd around. When she was seeing her every day, for hours a day, the connection that she had felt to her initially intensified a thousandfold.

At first, Celeste would only let Alex do minor tasks for a few hours a day, mostly around the house, so Piper didn't see her much. but within a week it became obvious that Alex was strong enough to do more. Celeste decided that she could start by teaching Piper some of the more complicated tasks around the farm.

So it would just be the two of them for hours a day, Alex teaching her to ride, or how to shoe a horse, or to corral the cattle up when one of them went meandering... Piper hanging on her every word, intrigued by everything about her. The contrast between the rough exterior and the intelligence and eagerness to learn that lay beneath it. The way she bore the marks of a life of action and violence and danger (Celeste had given her few details, and none of the others would speak of it, but Piper knew Alex had almost died, and the scars she bore, especially the one on her face, were proof she knew how to fight and how to survive), but seemed almost preternaturally calm, centered in a way that Piper (with her infamous temper) was envious of.

And she couldn't help but notice the way that she would catch Alex looking at her sometimes, an intense sort of look that wasn't really all that hard to read. At first Alex would look away after a moment, breaking the contact, even though something about it would still warm Piper up. But after a week or so, Alex would just hold her gaze in a way that made Piper think she was trying to tell her something... and it didn't take much effort to determine what it was. Interest. The kind of interest that made Piper blush a little. The kind of interest that spoke of things that Piper was always told were only between men and women (although she hadn't necessarily believed that entirely since attending an all girls' school for ten years).

Piper couldn't deny what this look made her feel, and she couldn't deny that she liked that it made her feel that way. That the more she got to know about Alex, the more she spoke to her and laughed with her and worked beside her the more she believed that maybe she wanted exactly the same thing...

September 1

"For once in my life I'm gonna do things right."

Nicky frowned, brow furrowing. "There been a problem with how we been doin' em up to now? You been listening to them preachers up in Litch again? Cause they're wrong you know. God can't possibly be cruel enough t'want all us women to have to go through life being fucked exclusively by men..."

"Hey!" came a voice from down the bar, one of Mendoza's girls. The tall one. "Some of us don't mind it!"

"Each their own, la Flaca," grinned Nicky, "though that's just cause you'll never let me take you upstairs..." Nicky waggled her eyebrows.

Flaca scowled good naturedly and said something in Spanish that made Alex chuckle.

Nicky frowned, "What'd she say?"

"You been out here since you were thirteen Nick. You ain't learned their lingo at least well enough to understand when you're bein' insulted, ain't my problem."

Nicky glowered briefly before continuing on the original track, "Whatever you say, Vause... but you never answered my question..."

"No," Alex replied, scoffing, "I ain't found God. Don't care to really," her voice softened, "Just... I want to do this the right way. She's different. I think she could be someone... special..."

There was a long pause. Alex began to feel vaguely self conscious. She took a long pull of her beer before looking back up at Nicky, who had a bemused grin on her face. Alex frowned. "What?"

Nicky shook her head, still smiling, "Just wonderin' where Alex Vause went off to and if she's coming back any time soon..."

Alex's brow furrowed, "The hell you mean by that?"

"Ah don't be sore Alex. I just... I ain't never heard you talk like that about anyone. 'Specially not a girl."

Alex shrugged, "S'never really been a girl," It was true. Outside her semi regular appointment with one of the whores in Litchfield there had never been anyone. The Dingo had tried more than once until Alex had been forced to scrap with her to get her to stop. Kubra had been angry because she'd put the little Aussie down and out for near on a week.

"You never cease to amaze me, Stretch. You sure 'bout her?"

"What?"

"That she feels the same way..."

Another shrug, "I reckon." Most times Alex could read women pretty well. Tell if they might respond to her particular charm. It was a matter of practicality and safety. Pursue the wrong sort of women out here, you'd end up hanging from the nearest tree. But Piper pushed her off her axis just enough that she wasn't entirely sure. However, she wasn't about to hesitate just because of that. It had gotten to the point where she couldn't deny how she felt anymore. Couldn't let it go. Would have to risk possibly scaring Piper off if it meant maybe she might allow more. It was something she'd learned a long time ago. Risks against benefits. A gamble that she hoped would pay off.

Nicky nodded, knowing that Alex had made up her mind. Was really just confiding in Nicky because she needed to hear it said out loud, because Nicky was the only one she could talk to about such things. "So what do you mean do things right?"

"I want to..." Alex hesitated, looked into her beer again, cleared her throat, "...court her."

Nicky's jaw nearly dropped to the bar. She had to make an effort not to laugh out loud (she knew Alex was pouring her heart out here, didn't want to discourage her), although she couldn't entirely stop a sharp "heh" escaping her. "Court her? You?"

It was Alex's turn to glower, reddening slightly (another new development... Alex Vause didn't get embarrassed over women), "Well yeah. The fuck is wrong with that? Ain't that what girls like that like?"

"Some of 'em yeah. Certainly it's what they're used to."

"You think it... it won't work?"

Nicky's expression softened up, "Ah, Alex... I've seen the way that girl looks at you. I think you'll be just fine."

September 2

The next afternoon Piper came in around noon, alone. Celeste and Alex were busy with the horses, some task Piper wasn't quite ready to take just yet. Custom was slow, so Nicky walked over and sat with her, sprawling her legs out in front of her and smoking a roll up. Seeing the blonde made her think of her talk with Alex, although she wasn't even considering spilling her friends secrets.

Halfway through her meal, Piper suddenly said, apropos of nothing, "For once in my life I want to do something the wrong way."

Nicky raised an eyebrow. Well. Seemed everyone was trying to change out their spots for shiny new ones these days.

"Really, Blondie? Didn't think girls like you knew the wrong way."

Piper was used to Nicky's good natured borderline insults by now. She simply gave the bartender a wry smile, finished chewing her potatoes and said, "You are girls like me."

"Heh, don't let that get around," Nicky took a long drag on her cigarette and shrugged lazily, "But I was never really like that. I fucked up enough for my mother to ship me out long before I really got fully trained. I mainly used finishing school to stare at pretty girls."

"You take my meaning."

Nicky altered her voice seamlessly, changing it into a highly refined upper crust New York drawl, "Why of course Piper, darling... I take your meaning most entirely. But the true question is exactly what you believe that course of action truly infers..."

Piper stared at her, fork full of pierogi stopped halfway to her mouth

Nicky barked a laugh at Piper's expression and reached out and plucked the pierogi off the blonde's stilled fork, popping it in her mouth and speaking as she chewed, "Well I did go to fuckin' finishing school for a few years at least, Chapman. And I was a fucking Park Slope Nichols for over a decade. I'm just real good at suppressing it," she swallowed the dumpling and said, grin remaining firmly in place, "Question still stands though. What do you mean by 'wrong way'?"

Piper steeled herself. It would be the first time she would be saying these words out loud to anyone other than Alex herself. "I like Alex," she said quietly, "very much..."

Nicky nodded, grinning almost fondly, "I got that."

A furious blush rushed to Piper's cheeks, "Have I really been so obvious?"

"Maybe not to anyone hasn't known girls like you," (she emphasized this part of her phrase with a chuckle) "before. You're real good at keeping up a front. But I'm real good at reading folk. And so is Alex really."

The blush deepened, "I've... indicated to her that I do... just recently actually..."

"And?"

"She... she said she liked me too. But that she wanted to do things 'proper'."

"You sayin' you don't?"

"Well... not that I don't... only that..." she lowered her voice, her tone taking on a breathless quality, "I'm not sure how proper I wish to be."

Nicky thought about that for a moment, then half smiled, "Chapman, you ever even been kissed?"

"Once or twice," Piper replied, pushing a forkful of potatoes through the sauce left on her plate, avoiding Nicky's eyes.

"Did you like it?"

She shrugged, still staring at her food, "It wasn't... unpleasant."

Another guffaw, "Well, fuck, Blondie. 'Wasn't unpleasant'. That's enthusiasm... Look, I ain't here to judge but if that's the best you been kissed... I feel like Vause is going to be openin' up a few doors for you... if y'take my meanin'..."

Piper felt the blush run down her neck, which made Nicky's eyes flash with mirth.

"So what? You wanna just..." Nicky waved her roll up around vaguely, "... pin tall, dark and mysterious up against the barn wall?"

Piper could feel her face turning an even deeper shade of red. Could feel the rush of heat to the rest of her that always seemed to accompany such thoughts of Alex...

Her friend sighed, "Look, Chapman, I ain't saying Alex wouldn't appreciate that. I mean, I'm damn sure she probably would. But... she actually wants to court you... and that's sayin' something for her," her tone was soft, earnest enough to make Piper look up, meet her big brown eyes, "That's special y'know?"

Piper felt her cheeks warming, "Do you mean that... that with other women she didn't..."

Nicky raised an eyebrow, face suddenly dead serious, "You really want an answer to that question?"

Piper shifted her eyes back to her plate.

"Look, Piper," Nicky said, "people like Vause and me, we don't get a lotta opportunities to romance people you know? Hazards of being who we are. I ain't sayin you shouldn't feel things, 'specially about her, but... maybe y'oughta let her romance you a little, y'know?"

Piper had gone up to town for lunch. Alex and Celeste were in the corral. Alex had just helped her shoe the horses and Celeste was brushing the larger black one (Celeste had acquired her after Daniel had died and hadn't felt like naming her... Dan had always done that).

Alex had been looking for the right moment to talk about her intentions towards Piper with Celeste, and she figured she might as well get it done with. She felt like a fool, asking like this, but she knew that if she was going to do things the right way, this was a vital step. She pushed her hat back further on her head, pushed her glasses further up her nose and cleared her throat. Celeste looked over at her.

"Are you all right, Alex? You look like you've swallowed something unpleasant."

"No ma'am... I mean, yes, I'm all right... little nervous... not sick..."

"All right then..." Celeste went back to her work, taking her at her word. Knowing that if Alex wanted to say something she would.

Alex grimaced and took a deep breath. Then she released the words as quickly as possible, before she could stop or hesitate. "Ma'am, I'd like to ask your permission t'court your granddaughter..." Alex looked down at her hands (calloused and rough... likely not what someone like Piper deserved really) after she got it out, not wanting to see Celeste's immediate reaction, afraid of what she might find there.

Celeste had gone still, her hand still on the brush which was still on the big black horse's haunch, and was looking at her, her eyes completely unreadable. Celeste had known her since she was just a pup, and she knew how to read every trick and evasion and prevarication that Alex had in her because she'd been there when Alex first tried them out. Alex didn't bother to lie to her about anything important because she knew Celeste would know she wasn't being honest. So all she could do was lay out her intentions clear as she was able and wait for the older woman to respond. She leaned against the corral fence, fidgeting with her gloves, gaze moving from her hands, out past Celeste towards the plains stretching out behind her.

Finally, the brush began moving again, and Celeste said, "You want to court Piper?"

Hearing someone else say it out loud sent a little swell into the center of Alex's chest at the same time the apprehension in her stomach increased. Celeste's tone was damnably unreadable, as was her gaze when she finally looked over, waiting for the answer. Alex straightened up and met the older woman's gaze head on, "Yes, ma'am."

Celeste pursed her lips.

Alex frowned, "Look, I know I may not be your idea of... ideal for her... and maybe I ain't what someone like her would even want... certainly I ain't what she deserves... but I care about her and I think she cares about me and out here, that may be all any of us has and..."

"Oh, Alex, no, honey... that's not it... I know you're not who you were before. And it's not that you're a woman either," she said before Alex could bring it up, "I may not necessarily understand it, but I've lived too long and seen too many things not to accept some things as they are. I think you are as solid a person as I've ever met..."

Alex grimaced, her gaze sliding away again, "You know that ain't true..." she said, voice low.

"You had a lapse in judgment brought on by grief and drink and bad influences. Very few people could've gone through what you did and not had it affect them. The true test is that you came back, that you took responsibility for what you did, and that you made a vow to never do it again... to do all you can to make up for having done it..."

Alex nodded once. Celeste kept telling her things like that and she was working real hard to try to believe them. She sighed and looked back up at the older woman.

Celeste caught her eyes and held them, "I simply want you to be careful. You're both grown adults, I can't tell either of you what to do, but I love you both and don't want to see either of you hurt..."

"I don't intend on hurting her."

"People rarely intend to hurt one another, dear," Celeste sighed, "Piper's story is her own to tell, but there are things in her past just as there are things in yours. If you are going to get close to her, you need to understand that. You need to know that she isn't exactly what she seems, that there are things you will discover that have given others pause."

"You know I got no standing to judge anyone for anything, ma'am," said Alex, frowning, trying not to be sore that Celeste would think she would judge Piper for anything. She knew that there was more to Piper than there seemed, that there were things she kept locked away. Alex hoped that one day Piper would trust her enough to share them with her, but she didn't intend on pushing. She knew what it was like to have things in your past wasn't proud of.

Celeste seemed to sense her disappointment. She smiled at her kindly, her tone apologetic, "I didn't meant that you would, Alex. You're probably one of the few who wouldn't. I just want you to understand that there are parts of herself she may not give you wholeheartedly, at least not right away. I'm counseling patience... "

Alex nodded, didn't hesitate before saying, "I can be patient. For her."

Celeste nodded it that, "I very much believe that you can..."

Silence settled over them again. Alex felt like she was breathing a little easier, although honestly Celeste hadn't really said yes or no yet... Alex was staring off towards the horizon again, her idle thoughts drifting back to Piper (her smile, her eyes, the way that her entire face opened up into the very picture of happiness when she laughed), when Celeste spoke again.

"You don't need my permission for anything, Alex. The way Piper talks about you, you barely need to court her... but I'm glad that you've asked..."

Piper was back just after one. Celeste sent she and Alex out to the barn to replace a dozen warped boards, and then out to the pasture to check the fence. It was real work, leaving them little time for idleness. Piper was unusually quiet, though. Even if they were hard at work, she would usually say something. Alex found herself wishing for the now familiar constant talk. Left silent, all she could think about was how she would ask Piper the question. It had been nerve wracking enough to speak to Celeste about it. Speaking to Piper herself was inspiring an entirely different level of apprehension...

It was near on five o'clock when they finished, earlier than they had expected because there were fewer problems with the fence than they had thought. They started off back towards the house (and Celeste who was preparing their supper), side by side, the sun growing low behind them, Piper was still silent, seemingly caught up in her own thoughts, although Alex could sense Piper's gaze move to her every few moments.

Finally, about halfway to the house, Alex stopped abruptly and put a gentle hand on Piper's shoulder. Piper stopped and turned towards her. Alex kept her hand on the blonde's shoulder and took a step closer to her, feeling as though her heart had started beating about twice as fast, the nervous flutter hitting her in the gut again. She tried to push down all her worries (that she'd misread Piper, that Piper didn't want her, that she was only looking at Alex like she did because of curiosity... that she was too good for Alex)...

Piper was looking up at her. She was dressed in a man's shirt and pants, rumpled and showing the evidence of the day's work on the ranch. Her face was smudged with dirt, and there was a fine sheen of sweat on her forehead, random strands of messy blond hair stuck to it haphazardly... and somehow it made Piper even more beautiful to Alex than she'd been when she first saw her. Her eyes were bright and wide and so god damn blue that it made Alex's breath hitch. For her part, Piper was looking at Alex curiously, clearly wondering why she had stopped them.

Just say it. Just say the words, get them out, like you did with Celeste, you damn fool... "Piper, I wanted to ask you... something important, it's been on my mind for a while... well, ever since I met you really and... I wanted to know whether you'd allow me to... uh..." Alex drew in a lungful of air, "... court you..." (it came out rushed and half muttered and she wasn't even sure if Piper could hear what she was saying).

Unlike Celeste, Piper didn't even hesitate for a moment, a huge smile unfurling, (that smile... the smile that made Alex feel like Piper was planting pure sunshine in her chest), "Why Miss Vause... whatever took you so long to ask?"

Alex felt her own grin forming, not the canny, knowing smirk she wore for everyone else, but a small, genuine thing that lit up her green eyes like a beacon, one that only really appeared when she was talking to Piper. It was a grin she hadn't worn since her mother died... something she thought might never return. She brought her other hand up and put it on Piper's other shoulder, "Yes? Is that a yes?"

Piper nodded, pulling Alex towards her and giving her a brief, hard hug, the sort of thing that would have been considered most inappropriate if Alex was some bland young man in the drawing room of her parent's Boston home, "Yes, you idiot," she said softly, just near Alex's ear.

And then she pulled away still smiling, and resumed walking towards the house. "Come on. I'm starving and grandmother said she'd be making stew out of that one poor chicken who wasn't laying anymore."

Alex followed after a moment, catching up in two long strides. They continued walking in silence, but now the weight had lifted from her stomach and she thought that anything might be possible... especially when, a dozen steps further on, Piper reached out and took Alex's hand in hers...

Alex had come back up to Red's after supper at the Chapman ranch still running on the high of Piper saying yes to her. But as soon as she had gotten into bed, lying in the dark, cool room, staring at the ceiling, alone with her thoughts, the ghosts started to circle again... the fucking ghosts that never left her alone... always gathering when she was on the edge of sleep... nothing to distract her... too tired to raise her defenses...

Normally the dark thoughts took her back to the past, but tonight, they hung out a shingle in the future and started whispering about how she could charm Piper all she wanted now... charm her until the girl fell in love, until Alex felt something akin to true happiness (something she hadn't even considered as a possibility after her mother died), until everything seemed perfect... but her past would always be there... waiting to make an appearance. Waiting for Piper to find out about all the things she had done...

Or... and maybe this was even worse... the things she hadn't done... the actions she hadn't taken... the people she hadn't saved... Piper knew about her mother of course... but Diane had just been the first person she'd failed to save... and the worst part about some of the others was that she hadn't even wanted to save them.

Piper would hear about these things. She would think Alex was a monster. She would look at her and see only what Alex saw in the mirror: a woman surrounded by the dead, the scars of her past visible on her face but so much deeper, so much more raw inside of her...

Alex shut her eyes and pressed the heels into her eyelids hard, teeth gritted. "Fuck..." she growled, "Fuck..." No. she couldn't do that to Piper, or to herself. She couldn't allow either of them to get any deeper than they already were... not without Piper knowing the real truth of who Alex was... She wouldn't let what they had be tainted by being built on a foundation of lies. Lies, at least lies told to those she truly cared about, hadn't done her a damn bit of good ever (all that came of them was hurt and suffering...)

When she'd come back to life, she'd promised herself that she wouldn't ever lie to anyone she loved again... when she'd made the promise it was just Nicky and Celeste... but now it was Piper too, and she would take bullet before she would deliberately do anything to make her suffer. She cursed herself for not talking to her before this... before she even got both their hopes up. But all that was bygones now and all she could do was remedy the situation...

She would tell Piper the truth... and soon.

September 3

Alex usually ate her breakfast with Red (never Nicky, who usually didn't stir til near on nine) and then came to the ranch. This morning she had simply grabbed a piece of the Russian's fresh baked bread, thanked her, and headed straight for the ranch, arriving a half hour earlier than she usually did, which found Celeste and Piper eating their own morning meal. When she opened the door, Celeste's brow furrowed, worry leaking into her eyes, "Alex? You're awfully early. Is something wrong?"

"No ma'am. I... there's somethin' I need to speak to Piper about, if I could."

"Something that couldn't wait until you came here for work?" Celeste still looked worried, although she seemed relieved there was no actual emergency.

Alex nodded, "It's important."

Celeste knew Alex wasn't prone to exaggeration, at least not with her. She opened the door a little further, "Of course. Come in. Piper's at the table. We were just finishing breakfast. And I was about to go out to the coop and check the girls."

"You don't have to leave on my account..."

"It's all right, honey," said Celeste kindly, "They really do need to be checked..."

Piper looked up when they entered, already smiling (having heard Alex's voice drifting in). The smile faded just a half tick when she saw the drawn look on Alex's face (she had managed maybe two hours of sleep the night before, thinking over what she would say to Piper, dreading what might happen when she did). "Alex? Is something wrong?"

Celeste was walking through to the back door. She looked back at them as she opened it, "I'll give you some privacy. You can start at 6. The cows need milking." They both nodded at her and she disappeared out the door, leaving them alone.

"Are you all right? You look... tired."

Alex nodded, "I am." She went to the coffee pot Celeste had left on the counter and poured herself a tin cup of coffee before turning back to Piper. "Piper... there's something I need to talk to you about. Somethin' really, really important. I should've talked to you about it before, but I got so caught up with the idea of being with you that I... forgot that maybe you might not think that was such a good idea."

Piper frowned, "What would make you think I would believe such a thing?" she asked, the puzzlement clear in her voice.

Alex was watching her intently as she pulled out a chair and settled in across from her. "Somethin' you need to understand about me, Piper… I've been through too much in this life to waste time with lyin', to myself or anyone else… least not about anything that really matters…"

Piper nodded her face serious, listening carefully. That was another thing about Piper. She could absolutely pretend to be listening someone without truly paying attention (Alex could tell when she was doing it) but she never did that with her. She hung on every word out of Alex's mouth…

"I like you…"

"I like you too…"

"But… there's things you have to understand about me. Things I've done… things I ain't proud of."

"That's all in your past, isn't it?"

"Yeah it's in the past. But I reckon the past ain't never really that far away." Certainly not when it haunted her all the time the way it did.

Piper nodded, a shadow passing behind her eyes, "I can understand that..."

"So there's things I have to tell you. What I've done... because I don't want to have secrets from you. And if I tell you, and it makes you... not want to have anythin' to do with me... then I guess I'll have to live with that..."

Another nod, "All right. But you know you don't have to explain anything to me..."

"I want to..." And then she laid it all out. She talked for what felt like hours but was probably only twenty, maybe thirty minutes. Starting with her mother's death, telling Piper about her years with Kubra. It wasn't a full accounting, she didn't go into gory details because the details weren't the point. She told her the parts that made her a monster, she gave Piper the very worst of her. The people who had died or suffered at her hands, the people who had died or suffered at the hands of others because of her inaction. Those she had stolen from, whose lives she had helped to ruin. She recounted it all without hesitation, stumbling only when she was talking about her mother, and about the incident that had caused her growing disillusionment with Kubra (the disillusionment that had eventually boiled over into the series of events that had led to him deciding she was no longer useful to him).

Through it all Piper listened intently, never taking her eyes from Alex's face. At one point near the beginning, she took the hand that Alex had splayed out on her knee, the one that wasn't gripping the coffee cup, and held it firmly. And when Alex was done, her voice trailing off into silence, hoarse with emotion and the strain of a half hour monologue, Piper was quiet for a long moment. Alex frowned and said, "I can understand if you... you don't want to..."

Before she could finish, Piper leaned forward and put her arms around her shoulders, drawing her in and holding her tight. Alex felt the tension leave her as she returned the embrace, closing her eyes against tears she felt threatening to fall. She heard Piper say softly, right next to her ear, "The past is in the past... none of it matters as long as you are who you are in this moment."

Alex nodded, too overwhelmed to reply, feeling as though a little bit of the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders.

September 5

Nicky looked up when Alex walked down the steps of the saloon and did a double take, "Well, Jesus fucking hell..." she breathed.

Alex scowled at her, "What?" she demanded, defensive.

"Nothin'... nothin'. You just..." she grinned, "...you clean up nice. I guess you really weren't foolin' when you said you were gonna court her."

Alex looked down at herself self consciously. She couldn't remember a single time in her life when she had felt the need to "clean up nice". Not even when she was a kid. Her ma had never made her dress nicely for anything (it wasn't like there was a church to go to or as though her mother would've gone if there had been) so she just ran about in breeches and shirts that Celeste and her ma made for her.

Even now the thought of wearing a proper dress made her vaguely nauseous, as though she'd look like a fish trying to dress in pajamas.

So she had gone to Flaca down at Mendoza's boarding house and had her make a pair of pants and good shirt along with a nice vest to go over it, a dark crimson that had been Diane's favorite color, with some very nice embroidery on it (she had just told the skinny girl to make something fancy).

The outfit plus the fact she had taken a nice long bath, was wearing the new hat she'd had Ford get her the last time he was up in New Litchfield, and had given her battered old coat a wash had combined to cause Nicky's vaguely unflattering astonishment.

She was even wearing the ring that Diane had given her for her 16th birthday, a real gold ring with a ruby set in the middle of it. Alex still wasn't sure how she'd afforded it. She was sure Celeste had helped pay for it but the older woman had never admitted to it. (Celeste had just given her a Bowie knife). She had left the ring with Celeste when she'd run off, not wanting to be reminded of Diane and Celeste had kept it all these years ("Because I knew you'd come back to us eventually...")

Alex approached the bar. Nicky raised an eyebrow, "Jesus, Stretch, you even shined your boots and polished your fuckin' spurs. You gonna start drinking Old Lady Chapman's fancy spirits 'stead of beer or Dmitri's rotgut now you're all dressed like fuckin' banker?"

"Fuck off, Nick..."

"That type of language is does not befit a true lady," Nicky said, putting on the fancy Park Avenue voice she used when she was trying to annoy the shit out of Alex.

"Just gimme a fuckin' whiskey would ya?"

Nicky grinned, pouring the whiskey, "Little nervous there?" She slid the glass over to Alex.

Alex downed it in two and didn't even consider lying to Nicky. Nicky knew her too well, "Reckon so. It's Piper. I don't want to fuck it up."

This too was a foreign feeling. Alex had never had problems dealing with women. She knew just what to say and just what to do to make them melt and if they didn't respond to her charms she simply moved on. She'd never invested herself enough in any of them to care if they didn't want her.

But Piper... she very much wanted Piper to want her and it was a frightening sort of feeling, like so many of the feelings that the girl was inspiring in her. Full of unknowns and possible disappointment... but also with so much potential for good.

Nicky smiled at her, softer, more genuine than her usual sardonic smirk, "You'll do fine, Vause. Piper may be different but she's still a woman. You of all people know how they tick..."

Piper pulled the door to the ranch house open before Alex had even had a chance to lift her hand to knock. She had that smile on her face again and Alex felt her heart lifting automatically, every nervous feeling that had been hovering over her disappearing almost instantly.

The blonde was wearing one of her collection of fine dresses. Alex had seen her in them before (she wore them to town whenever they came up on Sunday, and sometimes even for a regular weekday supper if she had time to change after her work was done. Everyone chuckled about it, but Piper insisted that one had to occasionally observe some protocol in order to remain civilized... "and aside from that I enjoy wearing dresses"), but tonight she looked especially lovely. The dress was a shade of blue that brought out the color in her eyes and Alex didn't think she'd ever seen it before. It was even finer than the ones she usually wore.

"You look beautiful," she said, thinking that word didn't do Piper's appearance justice. In addition to the dress, she'd put her hair up in some complicated fashion Alex had seen on women up in Litch and she was wearing some sort of subtle flowery scent. "Haven't seen that dress before..."

"I've never worn it before. It's rather more formal than the occasion normally warrants around here, but I thought that if I was being taken out on the town for the first time I ought to dress appropriately..."

Alex grinned, "I reckon that's right."

"You clean up quite nicely as well..." Piper reached out and smoothed the lapels of Alex's jacket, smiling wryly, "I didn't even know this coat was black... it's so unusual to see it without it's fine coating of dust..."

Alex chuckled, straightening up and putting on a fancy voice, "Well, I felt my appearance ought to match the gravity of the occasion."

Piper laughed. Alex offered her arm, "Well, should we go?"

"Why yes indeed..." The blonde looped her arm through Alex's and they walked out to the wagon she'd borrowed from Ford for the occasion.

Piper laughed lightly, half smiling.

"What?" Alex asked, frowning. They were sitting at Red's, having just finished a fine dinner that had been filled with easy conversation and laughter.

"You've never danced before?"

Alex shrugged, "Situation never presented itself. I was either working or playin' cards most of the time before I left here. And it wasn't as though I was ever goin't' let myself be wooed by a fella..."

Piper's smile widened into a large grin. She finished the last sip of her wine, stood and held out her hand. Alex looked down at it, half bemused, half wary. She raised an eyebrow, "What's this now, darlin'?"

"Get up. I intend to teach you to dance."

"Well, see here now..."

"Come now, Miss Vause..." now it was Piper's turn to raise a brow, "I thought you never backed down from a challenge."

Alex gave her a wry look, "You really don't forget a damn word I say do you?"

"No," Piper gestured towards the dance floor with her head. It was half full of an enthusiastic if unskilled crowd of dancers moving about to a reel. It was actually somewhat unusual that this type of opportunity arose. None of the townsfolk were particularly good with instruments (although several could sing). Generally, they had to listen to Red's son Vasily play the piano inexpertly. But a pair of musicians, a slightly pudgy red headed man with a soft English accent and his enthusiastic, ever smiling blonde female companion, had been passing through, and some enthusiastic pleading from some of the townsfolk had convinced them to play for the evening. "Come on now..."

Alex sighed deeply and downed the rest of her whiskey. She really did loathe backing down from a challenge. "All right then..." She took Piper's hand and pulled her long frame out of her chair. "I ain't responsible for any damage to your toes..."

"You won't step on my toes. I'm a very good teacher."

"Who else you taught how to dance?"

"I went to an all girls school for years. We taught each other a lot of things."

Now Alex smirked, "Oh did you now?" she said, her voice low.

Piper blushed, "Not that!" she said, scandalized.

The smirk widened, "Pity."

They got out to the floor just as the duo began playing a slower song. The floor cleared a bit, but Daya and Bennett and Miss Berdie and Ford and a few other pairs stayed.

Piper smiled. "Ah perfect," she stood facing Alex, taking the brunette's hand left hand and putting it on her right shoulder before placing her own right hand on Alex's waist.

Alex furrowed her brow, "Wait a tick. Don't this mean you're the one leadin'?"

Piper arched her own eyebrow at Alex, her smile mischievous. "It does indeed. I am the one teaching the lesson..." the smile widened. "You don't have a problem with that do you?"

Alex grinned, "Oh no, ma'am. Not at all. Sometimes I like it when someone else takes a little control..."

As it happened, Piper really was a very good teacher, patient and thorough, and Alex, who had always had a knack for learning anything that involved physical movement and muscle memory, was an extremely fast learner. By the end of the second song, they were moving quite smoothly.

The musicians continued playing slower songs as the night moved on, and Alex found that she was content to hold Piper close and move along to the music with her. At some point, they stopped really trying to dance properly, and were essentially just holding one another as they moved together on the dance floor, which neither seemed inclined to quit doing. Piper's head was resting on her shoulder, a small smile on her face. Alex shifted slightly so she could look at her... They let the words of the song drift over and around and through them.

"All that you are is all that I'll ever need..." sang the red headed Englishman.

Looking down at Piper, Alex couldn't help but feel the truth of the words, and the thought was beginning to scare her less and less by the minute...

It was near midnight when they arrived back at the ranch. The moon was full and casting bright white light over everything.

Alex helped Piper down from the wagon. Piper didn't let go of her hand when they began walking back toward the house, instead intertwining their fingers tightly.

Piper didn't think she'd ever had such a good time. Although she had been to Red's for supper many a night, she had rarely stayed long after for the kinds of festivities that broke out when the mealtime was over. It had been so different from the "soirees" she'd been pressed in to attending at home, full of rules and hierarchies and men she was required to impress, people she had to "behave" in front of. It had been free and unrestrained and people were actually enjoying themselves.

After an initial jolt of anxiety, she had even allowed herself a drink or two, but she hadn't even felt the need for more. Being in such close proximity to Alex had been more than intoxicating enough. They had talked and laughed and after some initial apprehension, Alex had put a hand on her arm, and after that she seems unable to resist being in physical contact with her.

After they had danced, they sat back down at their table, Alex moving her chair close to hers and pulling Piper into her side, resting her arm around the blonde's shoulders, something that would have been considered the height of scandal in Boston, even for a married couple. Piper had practically melted into Alex's side as though it were the most natural thing in the world, closing her eyes and inhaling her now familiar scent (leather, gun oil, a hint of sweat, and something else underlying it all that could only be described as "Alex"). She'd felt an overwhelming warmth and contentment that had nothing at all to do with the minimal alcohol she'd had or even the dancing they'd just done. She felt safe and loved and it felt right.

That feeling had carried over to the short ride back to the ranch (Alex put a arm around her shoulders again and Piper leaned into her again automatically, as though it were an instinct).

When they got to the door, Piper turned, still holding Alex's hand, "I had a lovely time..." she said softly.

"I'm glad," Alex replied, her voice a shade raspier than usual. She was looking at Piper, her green eyes soft and affectionate, such a contrast to the guarded almost wary look Piper often saw on her face when she was around all but a few people. When she'd first seen her, not so long ago, standing on this very porch, there had been a sort of melancholy weight on Alex's features as though she were in danger of being crushed under the weight of all her worries. It had slowly lifted over the last month and a half, as Alex had healed more physically, talked with Celeste, had gotten integrated back into the town... had gotten closer to Piper.

Piper wasn't sure how long they had been standing there, hand in hand, Alex's thumb drawing lazy patterns on her hand, sending waves of warmth straight through to her heart, but suddenly and without any preamble Alex was very close to her indeed, and Piper felt the door at her back.

Alex moved slowly, silently asking for permission at every turn. Her free hand came up and she tilted Piper's chin up just a little before her fingertips slid along her jaw, trailing over the side of her neck (causing a line of goosebumps to rise, Piper's breath hitching in her throat). She settled her hand on the back of Piper's neck...

Piper felt something fluttering in the pit of her stomach, nervous anticipation rising up... Alex's eyes never left hers as she leaned forward ever so slightly... and pressed her lips (surprisingly soft) gently to Piper's.

Piper hadn't been lying to Nicky. She had been kissed a few times before and "not unpleasant" was the kindest way she could think to describe it, possibly because the men doing the kissing had been trying so hard to be chaste and proper. Alex was being respectful, careful not to push too hard before Piper gave her some indication she was receptive, but it quickly became clear that, once Piper had signaled her willingness, being "proper" was not a priority for her.

The moment she touched her lips to Piper's the blonde felt a jolt, as though she'd been struck by lightning. There was normally a low level spark inside of her when she was around Alex, when Alex looked at her or touched her even in the most casual way, providing a sort of constant warmth, but after a moment of initial hesitation, it became a full on raging brush fire.

She felt Alex let go of her hand and move her arm around Piper's waist pulling her closer. Piper reached up on pure instinct and put her arms around Alex's neck. She felt Alex smile... and then all of a sudden (it seemed) Piper felt Alex's tongue sliding against her own and she couldn't stop the most wanton sound leaving her throat. She was almost sure Alex chuckled, deep in her chest, at that, but she couldn't have been certain because she was too busy trying to process all the new sensations she was feeling.

Everything else faded into the background and all she knew was Alex: Alex's lips on hers, Alex's hand on the back of her neck drawing her ever closer, the weight of Alex's body pressing against her gently as Piper's back hit the doorframe.

After what seemed like far too short a time, Alex pulled away, causing Piper to groan breathily in disappointment before she could stop herself. Alex rested her forehead on Piper's. Both of them were breathing hard. Piper moved her eyes up and saw that Alex's eyes were closed, a half smile playing on her lips. When she spoke her voice was low, clouded with something Piper had never heard there before, breathless. "Sorry, darlin', I meant that to be... a bit more polite..."

"I've had more than enough polite in my life, Alex," Piper breathed, finding to her surprise that her voice was also pitched down an octave and shot through with the same thing she'd heard in Alex's.

Alex laughed again, "Well that may be so, honey, but I don't intend on taking this show to the next act right this very minute..." She lifted her head and looked Piper in the eye, "I told you I intend on doin' this the right way..." Now she smirked, eyes flashing wickedly behind her glasses, "And if I'm speaking honest I'm not sure you could handle any more'n that all at once. Feel like we oughta portion out all these firsts... I mean you know what they say..." she leaned forward again, placing a lingering kiss on Piper's neck, just underneath her ear before whispering, "...good things come to those who wait."

Piper, already flushed and trying to tamp down the excessive yearning that she was currently feeling (the NEED to feel Alex's lips on hers again) let out a shaky exhale and blushed even more fiercely. Alex straightened, kissing her on the cheek chastely as she did so.

She took a step back, taking Piper's hand and pressing a kiss to the top of it, like a "proper" farewell. Then she gave Piper a wry grin, "I had fun too. Good night, Piper."

"Good night," Piper said, already lamenting the loss of Alex's closeness.

Alex got back on the wagon and tipped her hat before driving it back up towards town. Piper watched her until she disappeared over the rise.

The smile on her face lingered as she let herself in the house and prepared for bed. It remained even as she crawled into bed and faded off to sleep a half hour later, thinking of a green eyed gaze and an affectionate smile.

September 10

Five days later, Alex was sitting at the table after supper, getting ready to leave when Celeste said, "You ought to live with us."

Alex frowned, eyes darting over to where Piper was standing over the washbasin with the dishes, then back to the elder Chapman, "Live here?"

"It only makes sense. You work here full time of late, and it's absurd to make you ride to town and back every day. Besides it's more comfortable here than at Red's. I know you value your peace and quiet. And your room is still available." She gestured down the hall, towards the room Alex had once shared with Diane.

The thought of her mother made Alex ache a little, but it didn't hurt near so much as it had when she'd first come back. Talking everything through with Celeste had lifted a lot of the weight from her shoulders, at least as regarded her ma. There wasn't a lot she could do about the other deaths on her head, but such was the nature of her sins. Most of them were her burden alone and always would be.

But, as she slid her eyes back over to Piper who had turned and was leaning against the counter, looking at her, smiling, she thought there were ways to cope, to at least mute the voices for awhile.

She looked over at Celeste, "I think I might take you up on that ma'am."

September 25

Every time she kissed Piper (more and more frequently now since she'd moved her meager belongings down to the ranch) she found it more and more difficult to stop before things got out of hand entirely.

It was three weeks since they first went out, three weeks since their first kiss, and a little over two since Alex been living with them, and with every passing day Alex seemed to discover new things to love about Piper. And love her she did (and likely had for much longer than she'd consciously acknowledged) with her whole battered heart.

She had told Piper as much only a few days ago. They'd been sitting side by side on the bench on the front porch one Sunday evening, the sun's reflection shining off the surface of the creek. Celeste had gone up to town to visit with Sister Ingalls and Jones. Piper had insisted on making Alex new socks after seeing the state of her old ones and was working on them as they sat there (when Alex had objected, Piper had said, "let me put at least one of those useless skills my mother forced me to learn to some use, Al..." the nickname had been a new development, and Alex would likely have punched anyone else who tried to use it in the face, but of course she loved the way it sounded when Piper said it).

Alex had been reading a book, although one hand was resting lightly on Piper's thigh as she did so. She had put the book down when the sun started to sink below the horizon, taking the light with it. She looked over at Piper. The blonde's face was the picture of concentration, her brow furrowed, her mouth a flat, intense line. The light from the setting sun was casting a warm orange glow over the scene, and suddenly Alex was struck by how lovely she was, how lucky Alex was that she wanted anything to do with her at all...

And without even thinking about it, she said, "I love you, you know..."

Piper froze, still looking down at the half finished sock in her lap, and Alex frowned as her conscious mind caught up with her mouth. But as she turned the words over in her head, she realized she didn't regret having said them. Especially not when Piper finally recovered from her temporary shock and turned to her, her blue eyes wide and vulnerable and full of enchanted affection, a gentle smile playing on her lips, "You do?"

"Reckon so..." Alex said, sliding over on the bench, closing the short gap behind them. She put her arm around Piper and leaned over to kiss her, long and warm and lingering.

When they parted, Piper was still smiling, "I love you, too..."

It had been difficult to keep herself from taking the next step before that moment. Every time they went out together, dancing or riding or just eating at the saloon and they came back to the ranch house and parted at the bottom of the stairs, Piper going up to her room on the second floor, Alex found it harder and harder to resist pulling Piper back and taking her to her own room on the first. But after that admission... it was near impossible...

It was proving especially hard today. They were working in the barn, which always seemed to require some repair or other, for near on an hour, laboring in close proximity, Piper holding down boards while Alex nailed them in. More than once, Alex felt Piper's gaze on her as she worked (Piper had blushingly admitted to finding Alex quite "alluring" when she was exerting herself this way... Alex could understand it because she felt the same way about Piper...). And every time Alex turned her head to meet Piper's eyes, she saw something there that she had seen before, but always tried to ignore. It became more difficult every time she did it.

She had been so determined to court Piper properly, to do things respectable, the way someone like Piper deserved. But she had been doing so for less than a month and she was beginning to seriously question the wisdom of that choice...

They finished their work about a half hour later, and Piper walked over to the far side of the barn, where they'd left their canteens on one of the hay bales that lined the wall. She took a long pull of her water and watched Alex as she piled up the unused boards and put the tools in their places on the other end of the barn, unable to stop her eyes from roaming over the brunette's body, unable to stop her mind from taking detours into unknown territory. She was woefully undereducated about certain matters (her mother having done a damnably good job of keeping her from such information), but she knew how she felt when Alex kissed her, when Alex looked at her with that narrow, hooded green gaze, when Alex told her she loved her.

And she knew enough to know there was a way to relieve all the pressure that she felt building up inside of her with each passing day...

She snapped out of her reverie to find Alex was now standing near where she'd just stowed the tools, watching her closely, the look in her eyes telling her that she could read what was in Piper's eyes (in her mind, in her heart...) like a book. Alex knew what she wanted, and Piper could tell as she began to approach her with long strides, that she wanted it too.

Piper put her canteen down and watched as Alex approached. Alex took the final few steps and stopped, going very still, hands by her sides, so close that she was in Piper's personal space, but not making any move to come any nearer... "You sure about this, darlin?" she said, her voice was husky, a little hesitant, not even bothering to clarify the question, knowing that they were both perfectly aware of what she was referring to. "I don't want to do anything's gonna make you... uncomfortable"

"Yes," Piper breathed without hesitation. Her voice was barely a sigh. She wasn't even sure if she'd spoken out loud. She was leaning against the wall of the barn now. Alex lifted one hand and braced against the wall behind her, leaning in close.

The other hand came up to tilt her chin up. Piper felt that jolt she always did when Alex touched her, feeling as though heat was radiating from where Alex had made contact... She met Alex's eyes and what she saw there, a mixture of tenderness and something Piper had only ever seen directed towards her by Alex. Something she would come to know later as unrestrained desire.

Then she closed her eyes and waited for Alex to close the gap

Alex hadn't intended for it to be this way. She had wanted their first time (Piper's first time at all, really) to be special.

But then she had turned around, and Piper had looked at her the way she had...

And it was all just too much...

When Alex leaned forward and kissed her it was tender, gentle almost like she was asking for permission, which she was. And while Piper appreciated her chivalry (loved that about her really) it didn't take long before she was grabbing the front of Alex's shirt and pulling her closer roughly. She felt Alex smile into the kiss as Piper parted her lips and couldn't stop a very unladylike sound escaping as the brunette's tongue slide neatly into her mouth.

As with every time Alex kissed her, Piper was acutely aware of every sensation she was feeling, of the way the hand Alex has been bracing against the barn wall now moved to her tangle in her hair, angling the kiss even deeper, the way they were now pressed together so tightly, as though their bodies were fused in the most pleasant way possible.

Alex's right hand, which had been resting on her hip had begun a meandering almost the second their lips met. She sucked in her breath as Alex untucked her shirt and slid her hand up it, heading north ever so slowly... the blasted woman was doing everything slowly, even the kiss... Though she still had her hand tangled in Piper's hair, the pace she was setting was maddeningly languid; Piper was finding it both unbelievably pleasant and very, very frustrating (one of the many things she had discovered since meeting Alex it was that oftentimes two opposing sensations could exist simultaneously and that it could be an overwhelmingly positive experience).

It was when Alex's warm calloused fingers grazed the swell of her left breast that her knees buckled (only a little...). Alex broke the kiss, a look that could only be described as self satisfied smugness breaking across her face. It would've been quite infuriating if Piper had been in any stage to be infuriated about much of anything.

"You're lookin' a might faint there Miss Chapman, maybe you oughta have a seat..." Before Piper could fully register what was happening (her mind being both sluggish and hyper aware at the same time by this point) Alex had shifted her position entirely, quick as a snake, and was hoisting her up quite easily, hands firmly grasping her rear. Piper's legs instinctively wrapped around her waist as Alex took a half dozen steps to the right and sat her down on the bales of hay they'd spent yesterday stacking here. Piper was suddenly glad they'd covered them with a blanket

Alex was kissing down her neck now arriving at the place where it met her shoulders and setting up shop there in a way that pulled another gasp from her. She felt Alex start to unbutton her shirt. For a brief moment she went rigid. Thinking of what might happen if her grandmother were to walk in and find them here, Piper with her long legs wrapped around Alex's waist, Alex laying warm, wet kisses on her neck as she unbuttoned the last layer between her naked skin and the warm close air of the barn.

She hesitated just long enough that Alex's movements stilled, "Piper...?" she asked, her voice husky and thick with need. Her tone hit something deep inside the blonde, something primal and instinctual, something that had been caged nearly her entire life. And suddenly she couldn't care less who saw them.

She responded, her voice shaky, "Don't stop... please..."

Alex growled low in her throat and complied, unfastening the buttons on her shirt one at a time, her mouth following her hands, laying kisses on her collar bones, tracing lazy patterns there as Piper threw her head back, her arms behind her holding her up, and tried to breathe.

Alex slid the shirt down and off her shoulders and then drew back to examine the newly discovered territory. Suddenly, Piper felt strangely self conscious, the feeling cooling the heat that had been rising inside her only a moment ago as she looked off to the side afraid to look in Alex's eyes and see... what? Disappointment? She was so much more experienced, had likely seen many women like this before and...

She felt Alex's fingers on her chin, gently bringing her gaze around towards her own. She met Alex's eyes, which were clouded with that strange mixture of desire and tenderness. Alex leaned forward and kissed her once lightly, "You're beautiful Piper," she breathed, before kissing her again deep. Piper threw her hands around Alex's neck and kissed her back fervently. Alex's left hand went to the back of her neck again while her right hand moved down to map the skin she'd just uncovered.

Soon her mouth joined her hands and it didn't take long before Piper was writhing beneath her touch quite incoherently. Alex had intended to draw things out a bit, to ensure that Piper got the most out of the experience, but she wasn't sure how much longer the blonde could stand the teasing. Or how long she'd be able to keep herself from touching her.

She drew back up to Piper's mouth kissing her softly, her right hand drawing patterns on her trembling stomach muscles, hovering over the waist of the breeches. She could practically feel the heat radiating from the blonde's core. Her legs hadn't moved from around Alex's waist only tightened more and more which was driving Alex a bit to distraction herself.

"This is gonna hurt a little, darlin'. Ain't nothing I can do about that except be gentle as I can you understand?"

Piper managed a nod.

"You sure about this?" she wanted to give her the option even though Alex wasn't entirely sure what she might do if Piper said no.

Another shaky nod. Piper seemed to have lost the capacity for speech. Alex met her eyes, her pupils were huge, her eyes clouded with pure longing... and infinite trust. Alex felt a swell of affection for the girl even as her desire was hitting a nearly unmanageable level. That she would trust her with this was almost overwhelming...

But then Piper made a low keening sound deep in her throat that was constructed of pure desire and Alex forgot about everything but the task at hand.

With almost uncanny speed, Alex unbuckled Piper's belt sliding her hand down into yet more undiscovered territory, finding Piper so wet already that it made her grin.

Pipers breathing was becoming shaky and erratic and Alex was a little worried she might pass out so she leaned forward to kiss her, gentle and slow, waiting until she felt her breathing even out a little, before carefully dipping one finger in between her folds. Piper gasped a little at the sensation, like nothing she's ever felt in her life, breath hitching and she grabbed onto Alex's shoulders tightly, not breaking the kiss.

Alex had been a little concerned beforehand about a lot of things but one of them was how she'd know whether Piper was enjoying herself. As soon as her thumb grazed Piper's sensitive spot, she got her answer. Piper threw back her head and let out a moan followed by "Oh Jesus fucking Christ Alex..." breathed out rapidly like it was all one word.

Alex leaned into lay a trail of kisses down Piper's neck to her pulse point, which she'd quickly discovered had a very pleasant effect on the blonde (which in turn went a new flood of heat to Alex's own core). She circled Piper once, twice, three more times feeling the blondes grip on her tighten more every time, her breathing becoming more erratic each time. Alex lifted her head "you ready?"

Piper managed a nod, eyes focusing on Alex's, as Alex circled her one more time before slipping one finger inside of her, slowly, carefully, watching the blonde's clouded blue gaze for any sign of discomfort.

Piper let go a series of short sharp moans as Alex went deeper (groaning herself at the feeling of Piper's warmth), until finally she winced just slightly, pulling in a sharp breath. Alex stopped letting Piper get used to the intrusion, not moving again until she felt the blonde stir against her, moving her hips forward, pure instinct, seeking more contact.

Satisfied that Piper was all right, Alex went back to her task, pulling out slowly, leaning down to trail the tip of her tongue along Piper's collarbone until she reached her heaving chest, taking Piper's hard pink nipple into her mouth as she thrust again, a little more firmly

After that, it didn't take long at all for Piper to go crashing over the edge, grasping Alex's shoulders, crying out an extremely loud, barely coherent string of words that sounded something like "Fuck Alex..." over and over again. Alex maintained contact, bringing her down gently from her high, trying to ensuring the blonde got the most out of the experience. After a long moment, she felt Piper sink bonelessly against her with a last whispered, "Jesus..." She carefully withdrew her hand, and felt Piper groan at the loss.

Alex wrapped Piper up in her arms, and they just stayed like that for a long moment as Piper recovered, her breathing slowing back to normal, clarity returning to her thoughts.

"You all right?" Alex asked softly after a moment.

Piper lifted her head from the crook of Alex's neck and smiled at her, "I would say that's an understatement," she leaned forward and kissed Alex lazily. When she broke the kiss, she looked into Alex's eyes, "I love you, you know," she said softly.

Alex smiled back gently, "I love you too..."

Neither of them had much desire to leave, but Celeste was going to be expecting them back for lunch soon, and would probably come looking for them if they didn't go soon. And as much as Celeste had been understanding about their growing closeness, it was unlikely she'd approve of finding them like this.

As Piper went about getting dressed and trying to make herself look a little less like someone who had just been fucked in a barn, her thoughts drifted to just how little she had truly understood of this sort of thing before now.

Her older brother was not nearly such a gentleman as he pretended. Nor was he as discreet as he should have been when he spoke to the other men in the drawing room over brandies after parties. What he had described sounded like an activity that wasn't meant to provide any sort of enjoyment for anyone other than himself. What her little mother had told her, oblique comments, veiled references, made it sound like a somewhat unpleasant duty that one had to fulfill.

Neither of those descriptions was anything like what she had experienced. Just kissing Alex had been a singular experience... but this had been unlike anything she might have wished for. It was better than her wildest dreams although her dreams had been unfortunately hampered by how little she actually knew...

She slid down off the hay bale, her legs still slightly shaky and Alex put an arm around her shoulders, grinning at her and kissing her again once more before they set off towards the barn door. Piper let a content smile unfurl across her face as she tilted her head to lean it against Alex's shoulder, feeling something akin to complete and total satisfaction for perhaps the first time in her life.

That first time seemed to awaken something in Piper that she hadn't even known was there (how could she know it was there if no one had ever told her, if no one had ever explained...?). A whole life spent in the service of other people's whims and now this. It was as though a shroud had been lifted... and not just from her eyes.

She couldn't get enough of it. Kissing Alex had been tempting enough but now she knew what it could lead to...

Had she had her way she would most likely have lost entire days to such activities but there was still a farm to be run and she was absolutely determined not to shirk her responsibilities. She had come here to help Celeste and that's what she intended to do.

For the first time, though, having Alex around constantly seemed like it might not have been the most prudent thing.

Alex was also proving something to herself, that she could do an honest day's work. And she was paying penance to Celeste, even though the older woman insisted she didn't need her to. So she was equally committed to working as hard as she could.

But sometimes, especially those first few days after, one or the other of them couldn't help herself. Alex took her inside the barn again (more than once), down in the lower pasture behind a tree, out behind the chicken coop and once even against the back wall of the house while Celeste was off checking the cattle with Ford. Whenever Piper would put up a feeble objection about having to work, Alex would find some nonverbal way to overcome it.

Piper became very good at doing all of the tasks on the farm as quickly as possible, enough that Celeste remarked on it ("gracious, Piper, not even Ford can replace a section as fast as you, these days..." she'd said one day when Piper had walked in the kitchen at 4pm, an hour before Celeste was even going to consider starting supper...).

And it took precisely one night (or rather, two hours of one night) for Piper to be so overwhelmed by the mere thought of Alex being just one floor away from her to drive her from her bed and down the stairs. Alex, who had been wide awake herself, reading and trying to get that Piper was just above her head, had looked up smirked in that infuriatingly self satisfied way and said, "Well, hey there, Miss Chapman... there somethin' I can assist you with? Spider need killin' or some such?"

"Shut up..." Piper had said, crossing the room and sliding into the bed next to Alex without further preamble.

"That seems kinda rude, I..." Piper cut her off with a kiss before Alex could continue bantering, and Alex suddenly forgot that she had intended to tease Piper about her eagerness and decidedly uncouth behavior just a little longer. Although when they came up for air, and Piper paused to pull off her (blessedly uncomplicated) nightgown, Alex couldn't help but add, "And besides... I ain't the one who has a problem being quiet..."

Piper couldn't even find it herself to be a little bit angry about that.

October 2

It was near on a week before Piper broached the subject of reciprocation. In fact she used that exact word and it made Alex chuckle. Piper frowned, suddenly anxious. "What? You don't... You don't want me to?"

Piper was lying on her back, Alex on her side, her head resting on one hand looking down at her.

"You're the only woman I know would use a fancy ass word like that while you're lyin' all sweaty and naked with someone just did to you what I did."

Piper normally felt indignant when someone said something that sounded like a dig at her education, but the impulse was buried by the swell in the pit of her stomach at the very recent memory Alex was referring to. Which was especially vivid because Alex's free hand was drawing lazy circles on her torso, working its way back up from where it had so recently worked its magic

"Honey," Alex continued, "I would be more'n happy to spend my entire life causing you to make that little sound you do right as you're..."

"Alex!"

Alex grinned. As lusty as Piper had recently become she still wasn't fully comfortable talking in such terms. Even though they were in Alex's room. Even though neither of them was wearing a lick of clothing. Even though Alex had just made her make that sound twice in relatively rapid succession (once with her tongue, which was quickly becoming Piper's favortie). Alex felt that little swell of affection in her chest, the one that hit her at the oddest of moments, the one that seemed to fill another crack in her heart every time it came along and felt the need to kiss Piper again gently.

"I'm just sayin' that as nice as it would be for you to...return the favor," and here she gave the breast her open hand hasn't been resting on casually the slightest of caresses, causing Piper to draw in a sharp breath, "you don't have to feel like you have to do it right away. I'm more'n satisfied just watchin' you get all flushed and red all over like you're doing now," she kissed piper's collarbone then grinned again, mischief in it now, "I mean I don't know if you've noticed, but it ain't like I've had any...lack of satisfaction..."

Piper imagined she was probably red as a lobster by now. She knew that Alex took almost as much pleasure from taking care of Piper's needs as Piper did, but she still felt as though she were falling short somehow.

She pulled Alex down towards her, wanting to feel her closer, and kissed her hard, she breathed, "I want to though. I want to very badly. I just... Don't want to disappoint you..."

"Not possible," Alex said firmly, she looked into Piper's earnest blue gaze and smiled, "Alright then. You ready to take the plunge," the smile turned into a smirk, "...so to speak."

Piper nodded, still nervous. "I think so. But how will I know if I'm doing it correctly?"

"Oh darlin if you don't know if you're doin' it right then I ain't been doin' my job," she shifted suddenly in that lightning fast manner of hers so she was on her back, and pulled the blonde down on top of her, "It won't be a problem though..."

"How do you know?"

"I'm a damn good teacher..." she cocked an eyebrow, "and you're a fast fuckin' learner..." she kissed her, "you know what I do to you?"

Piper bit her lip at just the thought.

Alex grinned again, her voice when she spoke a low rumble that hit Piper in exactly the right place, "Just do that and I'll tell let you know if there's a problem..."

And as it transpired that Alex was correct. It was not even the slightest bit difficult to tell whether she was doing it right...

October 14

Celeste Chapman had been many things over the course of her 74 years on earth:

...disappointing daughter... (she had married a man she loved rather than the one her parents wished her to)

...loving wife... (to a man who had loved her so much it still astonished her a little)

...frustrated mother... (to an only son who had dismayed his parents by taking after Celeste's father rather than his own)

...pioneer adventurer... (accompanying her husband when he had come West, almost on a whim, not seeking fortune, only a new experience and a release from the dissatisfaction of life at home)

...savior... (Diane Vause, brought to them by Red, had been weeping on the Chapman's front porch when Celeste had first laid eyes on her not a thing to her name but her tiny newborn daughter, wrapped in blankets, clutched tightly to her chest)

...grieving widow... (she missed her husband every single day)

...proud grandmother... (watching Piper come into her own after all that has happened in Boston had been a wonder, and had finally made her believe that perhaps William wasn't so bad if he had somehow managed to produce such a child)

But three things she was not were stupid, blind and deaf. She would have had to been all of them in order to miss what was going on between her granddaughter and the girl Celeste had helped to raise and thought of as her own.

When Alex had asked to court Piper, Celeste had been entirely honest with her. She wasn't even a little bit concerned about Alex being "good enough" for Piper. She had heard enough of that nonsense when she was a girl, her mother constantly whispering in her ear that Dan wasn't from the right family, his money too new, his occupation too common.

And she also knew that Alex's five years literally lost in the desert had done much to cure the reckless impulsiveness and need for never ending adventure that has often plagued her as a child (the only things that might have given her pause when thinking of her with Piper). The girl might not believe it, but the person she'd been when she was running with Kubra had never been who she truly was. It was the worst of her, fueled by rage and grief and drink and being surrounded by exactly the wrong kind of fools.

(She certainly wasn't concerned about Alex's sex... Celeste had seen far too much in her life, particularly out here, to believe that any sort of love should be discouraged... There as far too little of it in this world as it was).

She'd frankly been more worried about Piper, whose issues were still simmering just under the surface. However, after all that had happened to both of them, she didn't have it in her to discourage the possibility that they might be able to take comfort in one another. And so even though she didn't think Alex needed it, she'd given her permission.

Celeste didn't figure it to take too long before Alex's natural charm and Piper's ardent curiosity would combine to create an even stronger bond between them than already existed. She hadn't been even a little surprised when Piper had been completely fascinated by Alex on sight (her granddaughter was always eager to learn about anything new) but she had to admit to some quiet surprise when Alex showed equal interest in the blonde. Alex had never seemed the type to tolerate such "fancy types" (certainly not fancy types who asked as many questions as Piper did) and Celeste had, in fact, been somewhat concerned that they wouldn't get along at all.

Given all that, she supposed it should have come as no surprise when she had been walking out towards the barn one evening to fetch them for supper and had been met halfway there by the sound of Piper rather enthusiastically (and very loudly) praising Jesus. Knowing that Piper had no real interest in religion (and further that most prayers didn't end with "oh fuck, Alex"), Celeste had merely turned on her heel and headed back toward the house, half smiling and figuring the girls would come back to the house in time.

She couldn't find it in herself to be angry or disapproving. She couldn't really even be upset that they probably should've been working (when she was younger, Alex had always had a talent for slipping away from whatever task she'd been given the second something more interesting had come up... some things never changed). She also reckoned that this most likely explained why Piper had suddenly become faster at completing most of her tasks than Ford was. Certainly it wasn't as though they were the first couple to ever take a little recreational break in that barn (she and Dan had had spent more than a few very pleasant afternoons there... proving that there were most definitely some distinct advantages to marrying for love).

However, she didn't want to embarrass either of them by bringing it up. They were both aware that Celeste had given her blessing for them being together which was all they really needed from her. While knowing she knew what they were up to would be unlikely to embarrass Alex (in such matters she was almost damnably hard to fluster), Piper would probably be mortified and Celeste had no desire to do that to her.

They wandered into the kitchen just as Celeste was finishing up preparing supper. Piper was flushed and practically glowing and Celeste was surprised she hadn't noticed it before (she wasn't blind or stupid, but she was getting older, she thought to herself, smiling slightly).

Alex told what would have been an extremely convincing lie about trying to find a tool they'd misplaced if Celeste didn't always know when Alex was lying. But Celeste just nodded and smiled. They went to wash up for supper and when they came back they all sat around the table to eat.

Celeste had given Piper a book to read on animal husbandry and asked her how she was enjoying it. Piper's eyes had lit up instantly as she launched into a monologue about the book and its contents, pausing only to shovel food into her mouth.

As Piper talked, Celeste glanced over at Alex, who was eating and watching Piper with a look of such soft affection in her eyes that it almost took Celeste's breath away, all of her attention focused on the blonde. After a few moments, Piper looked over and met Alex's gaze, her own blue eyes softening as well, mirroring that look of affection and contentment. She paused briefly to lean over and take Alex's hand before continuing on with her speech.

There had been a time when Celeste had been worried about both of them. She had wondered whether all the forgiveness in the world would ever help Alex heal; whether the fresh start and new adventure that Haven offered would be enough to get Piper past the problems that had plagued her in Boston. It had been especially troubling because Celeste knew she wasn't getting any younger and that in a lot of ways she was the only one either of them could truly rely upon.

The thought of leaving them to their own devices caused her almost more anxiety the thought of actually dying (she had lived a good long life). But watching them now (and having seen their relationship grow over such a relatively short period of time) she came the conclusion that she had nothing to worry about. As long as they still looked at one another, smiled at one another, the way they were right now, everything would be all right because at least they would still have each other.

A/N- phew... (sorry it just kind of... ends... lol)