Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy, just Angeline!
A/N: Each and every question I answer in the next chapter. Just that you know that! ;-) I know it's a late update, but I've been really busy and I've got to keep 'So this is life now' rolling too. Thanks everyone for reviewing, you make my day!
Q/A: I'm just wondering, but what are the pairings in this story?
Good question! Maybe it sounds stupid.. But I don't know yet! Mark and Addison are obviously not together, just as Mer and Der. Der and Addison are a couple, but if these things are going to stay this way.. I'm not sure! We'll see where this story brings us.
Chapter 3: Lying trough your teeth
POV's Addison
It's three days since I spoke to Mark on the phone.
I'm not sure what I'm feeling; confused, afraid, or better, terrified?
The past years were like I wanted my life to be, most of the time.
Loving husband, some friends, having fun in doing my job.
I've been rather satisfied, and of course, I didn't forget about her.
Her.. She's a black page in my life. She's an outcome of something I actually never wanted.
I get up from my bed and walk to the shower.
A memory floats in my mind.
I walk in the hallway of Seattle Grace and see Mark and Derek.
Derek walks away, and so do I. But Mark follows me.
"Come on, you're not even a little bit happy to see me?"
"Go home! Whatever you came here to do, just drop it and leave!" I say angrily.
Marks looks at me, in a disappointed way, but with confident he can fix me or something.
"Hey, we all make mistakes here. All three of us-"
"Mark!" I interrupt him. I so not want to talk about this.
He looks around and somehow understands it's inappropriate to talk about 'it' here.
"..But somehow.. somehow I lost my best friend and the woman I loved."
Loved.. Until.. Until. She's the reason for all the bad that happened to me.
"Please don't say that."
"He doesn't know how we felt!"
I look away.
"He doesn't know you stayed with me after he left? How do you expect to work out a marriage if you can't be honest with him?"
"Why are you here?" I say, looking down, denying the truth.
"For only one reason. To bring you home."
I turn on the shower. Hot water is good. It makes your feelings go away.
I undress and step into the shower. Hot water spats on my back and I try to relax.
I close my eyes, trying to ignore my thoughts.
"I'm not leaving until you saw her and talked to her. She has the right to know you, Addison."
"I handled fine without a mom."
Actually, that was a lie. I didn't handle fine.
But that was different, I tell myself. I was seven, when my mom left us. My father and me.
She never.. she never told me something. I thought she loved me.
A tear mingles with the hot water on my face.
I exactly know the day when I found out.
I woke up, and looked at my alarm clock. It was late, I had to go to school! Why didn't Mummy wake me? I jumped out of bed and ran downstairs. In his chair sat Daddy.
"Daddy?" I ask and he looks up.
His face is wet from crying. He looks tired and broken.
"What is it Daddy?" I ask and walk to him. "Where's Mummy?"
"Come here, baby," Daddy said and lifted me on his lap.
"Why didn't Mummy wake me? I have to go to school!"
My Daddy smiled at me and stroked my hair.
"You don't have to go to school today, baby.."
He was being vague, he looked so helpless.
"Why not Daddy? Where's Mummy!"
"Mummy left, baby. She just.. left."
Multiple tears mingled with the water now. Every time when I think of that day, I must cry.
But for Angeline it would be different.
She doesn't know me, so she couldn't get hurt.
If she just.. doesn't know me, she wouldn't get hurt, like I did.
"Addie?"
I hold on my breath.
"Are you crying?"
Derek. Shit, I woke him.
"I'm.. I'm okay," I whimper.
Derek opens the door of the shower and just stands there, with a towel in his hands.
"No, you're not.. What's the matter, Addie?"
I walk towards him and he wraps the towel around me.
Half an hour later I lie down on the bed, wearing my grey jogging outfit.
Derek lies around me, stroking my hair, comforting me.
When my breath sounds are equal again, he starts talking.
"What is it that you're not telling me? Talk to me, Addison.."
"I'm just.. tired," I reply, not sounding entirely convincing.
"That's not it. You're lying trough your teeth! You just.. you just had a breakdown. You've been acting nervous, and scared for a few days.. What is the matter?"
I wonder how I'm going to talk myself out of this.
"I.. I'm.. Like I said, I'm tired. And not feeling well, for a few days. Maybe I'm sick. I don't know.. Maybe I should rest for a while.."
Derek sighs. I know he knows I'm lying, but he stands up.
"Okay. If that's what you want.."
I slightly nod.
"I'm going to work. I tell the Chief that you're sick or something."
He stands up and I look at him.
He grabs his jacket and leaves.
"Thanks Derek," I whisper and turn in an uneasy sleep.
gogogogogogogo
Four hours later I pour some hot water in a mug and grab a tea bag.
I plunge it into the mug. Strangled in thoughts I grab my cell phone.
I put the tea bag out of the mug and into the kitchen drain.
I sit down, and stir the tea with my left hand.
Meanwhile I dial the number of Mark's cell.
After 2 or 3 rings he answers.
"Addison?"
I can hear his disbelief and I cough for a second.
"Yes."
"You want to talk..?"
A tear falls on the kitchen table.
"Yes.."
"Can we come over?"
Oh God.
"No. Yes. No.."
I hear Mark sigh.
"Addison.."
"Can't you just.. come alone?"
"We already had this conversation, Addie!"
"I know!" I say upset.
It quiet for a second and we both think.
"Why is it that you keep denying her? She's not going to kill you, Addison! She's a sweet, harmless little girl.."
"She's not!" I practically shout and I press the off-button, and then burst into tears.
I stopped here, because Addison, and honestly, myself aren't ready for Angeline yet. If I do write the meeting with Angeline at this moment, it isn't sincere, and straight from the heart. I'll hope this chapter showed how painful it is for Addison to experience the fact that Angeline is there, and her mother isn't, or wasn't. Thanks for reading, and please REVIEW!