"Allo!"
Lance stared at the person sitting on his porch. "Um, did you say hello?"
The person grinned at him, like Lance was the funniest thing since the banana peel. "No, I said 'Allo!' but that's close enough."
Wait a second, Lance knew this guy. He worked with Magneto. His name was Rusty. No, Firestar. No, that wasn't it either….
"Pyro!" Pietro Maximoff appeared next to him in a white blur. "What are you doing here?"
Pyro stood up and brushed off his uniform. "I need your help."
"Why can't you just ask the Acolytes? They don't have homework," Lance said.
"Hey, I had homework until I quit college to blow stuff up," Pyro said.
"You…What?"
"I know," Pyro grinned. "Best decision ever!"
"Wasn't quite what I was thinking."
"What do you need our help with? Anything that'll delay homework is ok with me!" Pietro said.
"Pietro, it takes you ten minutes to do all your work."
"That's not the point!" the speedster insisted.
Lance sighed. "You pissed off Rogue again, didn't you?"
"Maybe…."
"Well, What I need help with will definitely take you away from all members of the female species!" Pyro said.
"Females aren't another species."
"Course they are. Now, we'll need a flashlight for each of us," Pyro said, playing with his lighters. "Or I could just light-"
"I'll get flashlights," Lance interrupted.
He went inside and spent a few minutes rifling through kitchen drawers until he found three working flashlights. Before he left, he wrote a note to Rogue, Toad and Blob saying that he was going out, and if there was a serious emergency (the toaster not working doesn't count, Blob) to call Mystique. He put it on the kitchen table and walked back outside.
"…And that is why I never wear suspenders in public," Pyro finished. "Hey, you got the flashlights?"
"Yup," Lance said, handing one to Pyro and one to Pietro.
"Alright, let's go!" Pyro cheered, setting off down the street.
"Wait, where are we going?" Lance asked.
Pyro stopped suddenly, almost causing Lance and Pietro to run into him. He pushed at an askew manhole cover with his foot, opening it. "Down."
"You can't be serious," Lance said.
"Me first!" said Pietro, climbing down.
Pyro laughed. "Ha! Never knowingly be serious." He bowed dramatically. "After you, mate."
Lance climbed down wrinkling his nose at the smell. "Gross. Why are we in the sewer?"
Pietro clicked on his flashlight, shining it at the floor and scaring away several bugs. "Eww. I better not come back home with lice or leprosy or something."
"We are here," Pyro said, "to look for mutant armadillos."
Pietro blinked.
"Ok, I'm gonna go check on the Brotherhood…" Lance said, backing away slowly, trying not to make and sudden movements.
"Wait!" Pietro said, grabbing Lance's arm and tugging him out of hearing range of Pyro. "Look, Pyro's not the sanest guy, but he doesn't say he's seen something if he hasn't seen something. It might not be a mutant armadillo, but whatever it was; it looked like that to him."
"So you're saying that there is something down here? Bayville's very own albino crocodiles?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
Lance looked over at Pyro, who was following a red bug walking in circles. I'm gonna regret this… "Ok, let's go find his 'mutant armadillo."
Pietro sped over and tapped Pyro on the shoulder to get his attention. "Ok, take us to the armadillo."
"They're coming to take me away, ha-ha! They're coming to take me away, he-he! To the funny farm, where life is wonderful all day long, and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in the clean white coats and they're coming to take me away haha!" Pyro sang.
Lance pressed his hands over his ears a little tighter. "I wish they would, and soon!"
"Agreed!" winced Pietro.
Pyro stopped singing, and looked around. "This is where I saw them last time."
Lance studied the walls around him. It looked just like every other bit of sewer they had walked through so far. He sighed. Wait, there was a difference. "Guys? Does it smell like blood in here?"
Pyro sniffed. "Yeah, it does a bit. Maybe-"
Quissssh Thunk!
"Aiiee! Flaming mutant armadillos!" Pyro screamed.
The piece of bone that had been shot at their heads was indeed on fire. The figure that had shot it was covered in armored plates, kind of like a spiky armadillo. Wait a minute, there was another spiky armadillo next to the flamey spiky armadillo. Aw man, I'm starting to describe things like Pyro…
"You are trespassing in the Morlock tunnels. Leave now!" said flamey armadillo.
"Or you'll go home with a few new piercings," said the other, who was apparently female. She had pink-ish skin.
"Daniels?" said Pietro.
"What?" said Lance.
"Pretty," breathed Pyro, pulling the still on fire spike out of the wall.
Pietro took a step forwards. "Dude! What are you doing? I haven't seen you with the X-Men for ages! Why are you living in the sewers?"
"Why are you in the sewers?" Spyke retorted.
"Pyro said he saw some mutant armadillos down here. We came to help him find them. I'm assuming he meant you," Lance said. "But why are you down here?"
"I'm a Morlock now. We live in the sewers," Spyke explained, leaning to the side, and looking behind Lance, Pietro and Pyro for a second. Lance glanced behind him, but didn't see anything.
"Yeah, we're the mutants no one wants to look at. So why don't you and your pretty faces leave?" snarled the female.
Pietro sped over to her side. "You're not that hard on the eyes. The whole spiky pink thing is kinda cool," he said.
"You really think that?"
Spyke was still looking behind them. And Lance still didn't see anything. Maybe he just didn't want to look at Pyro set bugs on fire.
"Course I do. Chicks with visible mutations are totally my thing!"
"You've never dated anyone with a visible mutation," Lance said. "Well, there was that Crystal girl with the weird hair, but that's about it."
"Well, it was a sweet thing to say," said the pink one. "Torpid, you can drop him last."
"What?" Lance turned around just in time to see a girl who scarily resembled a cabbage patch doll, with really big hand get up from where she had been crouching next to an unconscious Pyro. So that's why he's been so quiet… was Lance's last thought as the girl reached out and touched his arm, and he sank into oblivion.
"Lance. Lance Alvers, come on!"
"Lance, mate, you'd better wake up, there's a cockroach in your hair."
This is such a weird dream… Something crawly wandered over his ear and then headed toward his eye. Wait a second….
Lance sat upright with a small (But totally manly) shriek and whacked at his head, trying to dislodge the bug. "Argh, gross!"
Pietro nodded. "I know, I woke up with a beetle in my pants."
Lance stood up. "Over sharing a bit there…"
"Well, there is good news," piped Pyro.
"Really? What would that be?" asked Lance.
Pyro pointed up. "The mutant armadillos dropped us off at the manhole on your street!"
Pietro was halfway up the ladder before Lance could blink. "I'm never coming back here! I have enough trouble battling the X-Men, we don't need to let everyone know that there's an entire faction of mutants living under Bayville."
Lance nodded as he followed Pietro up and out. "Yeah, Magneto would probably send us out to recruit some of the Morlocks."
"Well, I wouldn't mind if that pink bony girl joined…"
"Pietro!" yelled a very annoyed sounding southern voice. Rogue stomped into sight. "What in God's green earth do you get off- gah!" She backed away from the trio. "You all stink! What have you been doing?"
"We found mutant armadillos in the sewers!" Pyro explained enthusiastically.
Rogue rolled her eyes. "Sure, and I'm Anna Paquin. Hose off before you come inside. And don't come near me until you've had a bath!" Rogue ran back toward the Brotherhood House.
Lance sniffed his shirt and gagged. "Man, we really do stink."
"Wanna go sit in Cyclops's car?" Pietro asked.
Lance grinned. "I claim driver's seat!"
"Fine, but I get shotgun. That's where Jean Grey sits."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hey Readers. I'm working on some chapters where the Brotherhood goes dimension hopping. Should I put it as a separate story, or just put the chapters up in here? You decide, I can't!
Many thanks,
~SteampunkGirl