Chapter 9.
[We get a look at what the guys did while Amy helped Rose deal with her past. John tries to understand love and the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. Maybe taking everything in steps is best for both of them. But what happens when Rose needs to talk to him?
(Being inside John's head can be confusing so do forgive me if his thinking process gets a bit confusing too)]
...
Rory slouched further down on Jack's ridiculously comfortable couch, his feet kicking up onto the coffee table. His fingers flew across the game controller, his character sending Jack's flying into a nearby wall. Jack growled lowly and leaned forward, elbows on his knees and hands stiff on the controls. He'd lost four times to Rory already.
John refused to play, he just sat on the sofa beside Jack and commented on how unrealistic this fighting style was and how the characters' costumes would never protect them against throwing knives and any other weapon they used. That's all he'd talk about, well, that and Rose. John couldn't stop worrying about why Rose seemed to shy away from him now, when they were becoming so close. Jack was much too engrossed in his game to give John's worry much attention and Rory didn't really know how to handle it so it was left swirling about John's brain and occasionally floating out and hitting Rory's eardrums and somehow missing Jack's. He just really wanted to beat Rory.
"I really hope she's okay." John mumbled.
"Amy'll take care of her." Rory replied, eyes glued to the screen.
"But that's the thing!" John cried. "I wanna be the one to take care of her! I wanna hold her while she cries and I wanna make her tea and soup and buy fruity smelling candles together! I want her to come to me when she needs someone and I want her to be mine just as much as I'm hers." John felt worn out, worry and exhaustion crashing against him in a shocking wave.
"Woah, dude," Rory breathed out as his character used a special move to smash Jack's into the ground. Jack cursed loudly.
"You're in love with her." Rory finished.
"I-I" John didn't commit; it was a fucking scary thing that didn't end well for anyone he knew besides Rory and Amy. His parents weren't around for him; Jack's parents were split up before even John knew them; Jack was never gonna settle down; River was never gonna slap on a ring and say 'I love you' to anyone; and hell would freeze over before Clara put aside her career for love. "No, I don't." he grumbled miserably. Amy and Rory weren't enough for this, not this.
"FOR FUCKS SAKE RORY HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS!?" Jack shouted as Rory won again. The dark haired man flung his remote across the room and straight into an expensive looking vase that John remembered River picking out.
Rory burst into uncontrollable laughter as he rolled off the couch. His face was turning red and Jack was pouting with his sparkling eyes dimmed. Rory continued laughing like a child being tickled, his sides ached and tears were running down his face. John couldn't help it, seeing Jack so fucking upset over a silly game had him tumbling over in laughter as well.
"Oh my god you guys are such dicks." Jack laughed.
Rory relaxed and looked to John, both men lying beside each other on the floor. "Your love doesn't have to imitate anyone else's love, John."
John felt his chest ache and his smile faded. Rory couldn't read minds but somehow, in moments like these, he knew exactly what someone needed to hear. John wasn't ready to fall in love, but who was? He wasn't ready to admit that he's in love with her but that doesn't mean he can't admit that it's possible that he loves her. Possible for love to work out.
He and Rose won't fight in front of their child before they convince them to get a divorce like an eleven year old Jack had to do; and they won't leave each other behind for the sake of an adventure like River does at every corner, because they could be the adventure. John doesn't need to bury himself in work when he could be falling in love, he isn't Clara. Everyone does love differently, and John can't follow anyone down a path already taken. They will have to find their own way.
He doesn't understand the way his friends live sometimes but that doesn't mean they aren't happy. Clara has never complained of feeling alone, she has her sister and her friends and her job, she doesn't need someone to hold her at night because she has everything she wants. River wants adventure and the adventure of love just isn't enough for her wanderlust soul, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love Jack just as much as Mount Fuji. Jack doesn't do relationships like some people do, he holds too tightly and let's go too easily but it works for him, it's simple and fun and exciting just like Jack.
Maybe it's time John found out how he fits into a relationship.
"Beer?" Jack asked. "We could get hammered and watch that reality show with the dolphin trainers and that guy with that really nice ass." He cast them his charming smile before flouncing into the kitchen.
John pulled himself off the floor and smiled down at the fair haired man. Ya, love is complicated for everyone, but he sure is glad Amy and Rory figured it out.
...
We need 2 talk
-Rose
Ok. Tomorrow, Lunch, Behind the bleachers.
-Doctor
U make it sound like I need 2 buy weed from u
-Rose
You'd text Harkness if you needed weed
-Doctor
Of course, why do u think he's on my speed dial ;)
-Rose
I miss you
-Doctor [Message saved in drafts]
I'll see you tomorrow wolf. I hope you're ok.
-Doctor
C u 2morrow doctor
-Rose
...
John rushed to the bleachers as the lunch bell rang, nearly beating his class out the door. Rose needed to talk to him, bad or good he didn't care. He missed her like a missing limb. He'd only known her for almost 2 months and she was already so intertwined in his life that the moment she pulled away he felt his heart jump out of his chest to chase after her. It's crazy and nothing like he's ever done before yet he runs to those bleachers with a grin on his lips and an emotion in his eyes that he hasn't felt in a long time, because this is Rose. His wolf, the girl who stole his heart the moment she walked into the same room as him and smiled at him over the greasy pizza and Jack's charming words. No running away, not this time, not even if he wanted to.
She was already waiting for him, lying in the fake grass used for sports, a look of concentration on her face and a phone in front of her eyes. Her fingers were clicking away at the phone but she dropped it into the grass as he sat beside her. He noticed the colourful game on the screen before she locked it and it faded to black.
"Doctor." Rose greets happily. Something is different, she doesn't look weighed down, she looks open and free. Amy really does know how to fix everything, even something John didn't see.
"Rose Tyler!" He responds, saying her name in a way that only he ever could. The way that awakens butterflies in her stomach and sends electric sparks down her spine.
"No lunch?" She asks curiously.
He frowns and thinks before he remembers his lunch sitting in his fridge at home. "Fraid not, Ms. Tyler." He answers.
"Don't worry, we can share." She pulls a baby pink lunchbox from the other side of her and sits up. She pops the tin lid and grins as The Doctor's eyes light up.
"A banana!" He laughs. "I was right, you are brilliant, Rose." He plucks the yellow fruit from her lunchbox and smiles at the blush on the woman's cheeks.
"Thought you'd like that." She doesn't meet his eyes and John's smile drops. She's happy, he can see that on her face just as plainly as the sun in the sky but she's nervous and something John can't place is bothering his wolf.
"Something wrong, Rose?" He asked tentatively. He placed the banana in the grass and reaches for her hand. She interlaces their fingers and he saw the tug of a smile on her hidden face, curtained behind her bleached blonde hair.
"I don't have a pleasant past, John," She started. "And I can't change this. However, I can decide to make the most of my future. To pick the people who I love and love me. People who won't hurt me." Her voice was strong yet quiet and John could feel his heart hammering away in his chest.
"What are you saying, Rose?"
"This isn't high school Doctor, we don't need to dance around what we both know is happening."
Was she saying? No. yes! Wait… no. Yes?
"Rose…?"
Her eyes finally lifted to meet his own and she smiled shyly. "I like you, Doctor, and even though we still have a lot to learn about one another I wanna give this a shot."
His face lit about like fucking Times Square and his eyes sparkled at her words. Rose Tyler wanted him? Rose Tyler, beautiful, brave, brilliant, amazing, impossible, Rose Tyler, wanted him. He didn't have words to describe this moment, the feeling in his chest. He will mess up, they will get hurt and fall down, but that doesn't mean love won't find them. And maybe that's all he really needed to admit to himself. Love doesn't have to happen the second you meet the person, it can take forever and a day to wash over you but that doesn't mean it won't last. It doesn't mean you won't make it. Because being in love with someone isn't everything, sometimes just loving them is enough. And The Doctor loves Rose Tyler. He's on the edge, he loves her but his heart isn't ready to fall in love with her yet. And he knows she isn't ready either. They'll get there, they just need time. And that's ok.
The Doctor leaned forward and bumped his nose gently with hers, tilting her head and capturing her lips. She sighed the second their lips met and John smiled into the nearly innocent kiss. Her lips were soft as they moved against his own, wet and eager and John was lost in the taste of one Rose Tyler. John really did lose his mind when she ran her tongue along the seam of his lips, asking for entrance. When his own mouth opened everything exploded before his eyes; fireworks, just like in the movies.
They sprang apart at the sound of the bell, cheeks flushed and lips swollen. Rose was breathing heavily and John had trouble remembering how to breathe for a second or two.
John pulled himself to his feet and held out his hand. Rose grinned, tongue between her teeth as she slipped her hand into his. He pulled her up and held her close, wrapped in each other's arms.
"Rose," He breathed into her hair. "Run away with me."
...
Hello! quickly wanna say that yes, john being shoved into the wall outside torchwood will play into the story later, probably in the next chapter. it wasn't totally random. secondly, does anyone want more Jack/Ianto? Jack/River? or maybe Jack/River/Ianto? let me know! I hope you guys have liked the story so far! ^_^
lastly, finals start this week so i won't be writing till after all of that is done, however my mom is forcing me to go spend my summer with a bunch of people i don't know so expect me to be hiding on my computer most of the summer! lots of writing and tumblr for me, yay!
I love all of you so much! thanks for encouraging me throughout this so far! 3