A/N: Written for the "fall food" prompt provided by the Fall Fic Fest over on Tumblr.

. . .

Fall Fic Fest

Part II: Pumpkin Everything

"It's apple-picking," says Rose, the slightest bit of strain showing in her voice at this third reiteration of the day's activity, "what's there to understand?"

The Doctor had tried his best these past few weeks, to be a part of the Tyler family. (Or, as the gossip mags insisted on calling him: Vitex Heiress Rose Tyler's Mysterious Man, seen above in his self-styled Tuxedo of Doom - it certainly slays us.) They had picked out this year's pumpkins from the pumpkin patch and found their way through the corn maze, thanks to Rose's unerring sense of direction. When they'd returned home, the Doctor had, with the help of the spare sonic he'd nicked as a parting gift, carved one into the face of Iron Man, much to Tony's delight and engraved another - meant for his and Rose's flat - with the silhouette of the TARDIS. The rest Jackie had taken to pass along to the kitchen staff, whose pumpkin pie, cookies, and muffins were second-to-none. Obligingly, the Doctor tried a bit of everything but drew the line at the pumpkin daiquiri the bartender offered him "on the house" after acing the latest round of pub trivia. Seasonal or not, why should orange produce get all the attention and bananas be neglected year-round?

Jackie, of course, was still Jackie but that also meant Jackie's tea was still Jackie's tea. Whether recovering from a regeneration coma or snuggled up with Rose recovering from other, decidedly more pleasant activities, it always hit the spot. He swore Rose to secrecy on both counts, though he knew Jackie must suspect at least one.

Much as Rose might make this life palatable, there were some human customs the Doctor could not wrap his part-human head around.

"Rose," he begins in his most logical, hopefully not too condescending voice, "if you want apples, we can go down to Tesco's and pick up a bushel. We don't need to pay someone else to do it. Well, we do but the money spent would be on the apples themselves not the questionable luxury of performing manual labor on someone else's property."

"You didn't complain about the pumpkin patch."

"That was different. We promised your mum we'd take Tony. And there was the corn maze. Brilliant at that corn maze you were, Rose Tyler," he adds, hoping to make her smile but she only scuffs the floor with a mud-stained trainer. The Doctor sighs.

"Look, I'm not saying no, alright? I'm just - I don't really see-" He cuts himself off. "We can go if you want."

"No, you don't have to." Rose shakes her head, dislodging the Doctor's hand cupping her cheek. "I'll go with Mum and Tony. It's fine."

The Doctor snorts. "Yes, because you make just that pout when things are fine."

"I'm not pouting." Rose stops pouting. "I'm not gonna make you come and then have you mope around the whole time."

"I'm not moping! When was I moping?"

"You're acting like this whole thing's pointless."

"Don't put words in my mouth."

"Well, you are!" Rose's voice goes shrill for a second so she clears her throat before continuing. "Like you're just here, wasting time on me till you can escape again."

"Rose," the Doctor jerks back as if stung, then forward again as Rose moves out of his reach, "I would never-"

"I know," Rose rakes a frustrated hand through her hair. "I know you wouldn't. 'S just . . . whenever we're not out somewhere, you're in the lab. All you can talk about is the TARDIS and the stars. And I know you must miss it. I miss it, too, and it must be a thousand times worse for you. This life - it's not you, I know, but it makes me feel like I'm not - you, either. Like you and me, we're not . . . you won't even kiss me in public."

Before she can swallow down the latest lump in her throat, the Doctor has wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you," he says firmly, kissing her scalp. "I love you more than anything in the universe." He kisses her nose. "That includes the stars." He kisses her cheek. "That includes the TARDIS. That includes," he kisses her lips, humming in delight when she draws his lower lip between her teeth, "what your mother might think of our getting a bit handsy in the apple orchard."

Rose blinked at him. "Doctor, you do know she knows we're shagging."

"What?" The Doctor is proud of himself for not squeaking out the word. "No, she doesn't."

"Yeah," says Rose, "she does."

"And the tea?"

"What about the tea."

"Does she know? That I . . . like it?"

"Doctor, everyone knows that. Mum thinks it's sweet, actually." And, at the Doctor's disgusted expression, "Must be why she bought us all those pumpkin-spice condoms."

By the time she's convinced him that she's only joking, and that this is one area where banana does beat pumpkin out, it's too late to go apple-picking. They make plans to go tomorrow instead and then go through the corn maze again, just for fun.