Chapter 16: Letting go too Soon
I don't think it's the idea of dying that scares people; I think it's the inability to imagine what lies beyond death. Is there a Heaven? Is there a Hell? Is there nothing but an eternal black void? Or do we simply cease to exist? Or maybe we come back as somebody else. Hell, I don't know. That's one thing that I envy about religious people. They're so sure of their fate. They know. Does that make it real, I sometimes wonder?
I've had dreams about dying before. Well, nightmares, really. I'm heading toward this white light, and Mom's there waiting for me, but when I reach out to grab her, something pulls me back. And then suddenly all the evil things I've sent to Hell are pulling me down with them. Every demon I exorcised, every creature I killed... And then I wake up. Scares the shit out of me every time, but I won't tell Sammy about it. Can't tell him, I guess. How do you casually bring up the subject of death with the person you care about most?
It's something I think about a lot. I mean,
with the kind of things that I've seen... Death is a very real
possibility. I don't welcome it; I'll always fight to live. I guess
that it's because I'm afraid of that dream coming true. And that
moment in the well... It felt a hell of a lot like that dream. Too
much like it.
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Dean felt
his lungs burning as he fought for the surface. There was nothing to
grab onto, and he couldn't see anything. Well, he was probably
grateful for that. There was no telling what was grabbing him and
pulling him down.
All thoughts of the girl had left his mind. He was more concerned about pulling himself out right now. Suddenly he felt a tugging at his waist and realized that he had reached the end of the rope. But still he felt those things pulling him.
A
red fog began to seep into his vision as he fought. He felt his own
struggles becoming less and
less.
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Sam saw the rope
grow taught. He reached forward to grab the rope and prepared himself
to pull when he felt a force throw him backward. He hit the ground
hard enough to knock the breath out of him and lay stunned for a
second before pulling himself to his feet.
Sam!
Help us!!
Come into the well and save us!!
Use your power to help us!
Sam
grabbed his head as the voices echoed loud enough in his mind to
cause pain to shoot through his skull. He crashed to his knees,
praying that the voices would just stop, just go away! He didn't see
the rope around the tree slowly unraveling behind
him.
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Dean finally let
fear seep into him as he realized that he couldn't get away. A
darkness, blacker than any mere lack of light, was overcoming
him.
Dean...
That voice. He recognized it.
Jessica? he thought?
He opened his eyes and saw a light inside the well. Standing before him was a girl. It was Jessica... But wait, it had to be Emily. She reached out toward him.
I'm sorry, I can't save you, he thought, I can't even save myself right now.
