The Caretaker

With wickedly sharp rocky outcrops sticking sideways out of the desert ground. The Doctor, Adam and Clara are chained to ornately carved pillars as twin suns beat down.

"There's no way out of this. We're going to die here." Clara says.

"There might be a way out of this." Adam tells her.

"Pass me the vibro-cutters." The Doctor asks Clara.

"They're in my pocket." Clara says.

"Come on then, pass them to me." The Doctor asks.

"In my other jacket. At home." Clara explains.

"Why have you got two jackets?" Adam asks, pointing the mistake of why Clara should be having one jacket to wear instead of another, to annoy and hinder.

"Look, I don't have the vibro-cutters. If I had the vibro-cutters, I wouldn't be able to pass you the vibro-cutters. We're going to starve to death out here." Clara explains why she has not supplied one of the nearby Time Lords the vibro-cutters.

"Of course we won't starve. The sand piranhas will get us long before that." The Doctor says, ruining Clara's last answer.

Clara enters a pub and goes to Danny's table.

"Hiya. Sorry I'm late." Clara apoligizes to Danny as they kiss.
"You're not. You're brown. You're very brown. You weren't that brown this morning" Danny explains.

"Sunbed. I'll get 'em in. Usual?" Clara says.

Clara is about to go out when the Doctor pops his head out of the Tardis.

"Fish people." The Doctor tells her.

"What are they like?" Clara asks.

"Fish. And people. Come and see." Adam explains as he continues with the joke

"How's you?" Clara asks Danny.

"Evening. Nice frock. It's a bit wet." Danny tells Clara.

"Freak shower." Clara says.

"Is that seaweed?" Danny asks.

"I said freak." Clara continues.

Running in a corridor as lasers are shot at the trio.

"How much further?" Clara asks the two Time Lords.

"Tardis has got to be round this corner. I hate soldiers. Don't you hate soldiers?" The Doctor goes on.

"Yeah." Clara agrees.

"Just keep running!" The Doctor shouts.

In Clara's flat, She opens the front door to see...

"Oh, yeah. Danny. Hiya." She greets Danny.

"Morning. Ready to run?" Danny asks her.

"Mmm hmm." Clara mouths a yes.

After the run, Clara is out of breath and completely drenched in sweat.

"I can't keep doing this. I can't do it. Yes, I can, I can do it, of course I can do it. I've got it all under control." Clara says to herself.

Clara enters the Tardis from her living room.

"So, where we off to?" Clara asks.

"Hello Clara, I'm just getting ready to go." Adam tells her.

"Clara, you, you look lovely today. Have you had a wash?" The Doctor gives her a compliment.

"Why are you being nice?" Clara asks.

"Because it works on you. Listen, I'm sorry but there's going to be no trip today. I'm sorry. Er, I've got to do a thing. It might take a while." The Doctor says.

"What thing?" Clara whines.

He keeps the scanner with the flashing red light out of her view.

"Just a thing." The Doctor repeats.

"You're being mysterious, and do you know what means?" Clara tells the two Time Lord.

"He's a man of mystery." Adam points out the Doctor to Clara.

"Hmm. It means that you are a very clever man making the mistake, common to very clever people, of assuming that everybody else is stupid. Where are you going?" Clara explains as she then asks the Doctor.

She grabs the scanner and he switches it to the view of the galaxy.

"Undercover. Deep cover." The Doctor whispers.

"Can you do deep cover?" Clara inquires.

"What do you mean?" The Doctor asks.

"Have you seen you?" Clara inquires.

"Of course I can do deep cover." The Doctor tells her.

"Where, the Magic Circle?" Clara asks.

The Doctor snaps his fingers, and the Tardis doors open.

"I'll see you when I see you." The Doctor commands her.

Clara snaps her fingers, and they close again.

"When's that?" Clara asks.

Adam snaps his fingers, open.

"When he sees you." Adam reminds her.

"Hmm. Hmm. I'll be sure to have a wash." Clara says to herself.

"Excellent. I was meaning to bring it up." The Doctor says.

Clara leaves, shutting the doors then opening them again and pointing meaningfully at her eye before finally leaving. The Doctor calls up the glowing area on the map which is on the scanner - East London.

The boys are playing football where they shouldn't as the teachers arrive.

"You lot! Not here. Over there." Adam shouts at the boys.

"Morning, Mister Pink." Courtney greets Danny.

"Morning, Courtney. And good morning, Miss Oswald." Danny responds to both Courtney and Clara.

"Morning, Mister Pink." Clara says.

The group of girls by the entrance giggle.

"Do they know?" Clara asks.

"Possibly. They're children. It's like they've got minds of their own. Are you okay?" Danny says.

"Yeah, course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be okay?" Clara inquires.

"I dunno. Every time I see you, it's like you're." Danny starts his sentence.

"What?" Clara asks.

"In a rush. In a state. In a space helmet, one time." Danny explains.

"Sorry. Er, I've had a thing and, er, the thing's gone, so I'm all yours." Clara says.

"What thing? What's gone?" Danny asks.

"Nothing." Clara says.

"It's like you're trying to be mysterious. I'm not stupid, you know." Danny comments.

"The next few days are all about you. I promise." Clara says.

Clara moves in closer, but pupils giggle at the end of the corridor, so she walks away.In the Staffroom Armitage, the headmaster is speaking to the other teachers.

"Which means, Jo, you'll have to cover for 8/4M in L3. Hold on, there is just one more thing. Atif's off sick, so we've got a newbie, I did ask him to come along." Armitage explains as there is knocking on the door. "Ah, here he is."

A tall figure in a brown coverall and holding a broom enters.

"I'm the new caretaker. John Smith." The Doctor annouces being the tall figure with the brown coverall.

"Welcome to Coal Hill, Mister Smith." Armitage greets the Doctor.

"Thanks. Yes, John Smith's the name. But, you know, here's a thing. Most people just call me the Doctor." The Doctor says to himself. He winks at Clara and Adam. "So, if anybody needs me, just, you know, give me a shout. I'll be in the storeroom just getting the lie of the land." The staff leave the room. "Yes, no body's taking any notice at all. Absolutely good news because it means I must be coming across just as an absolutely boring human being like you." Clara mouths 'What are you doing here?' He shuts the door on her. "Deep cover. Deep cover."

"Do you know him?" Danny asks.

"Know who?" Clara says.

"The caretaker, Smith. The Doctor." Danny explains.

"Never seen him before in my life." Clara says.

"Bit intense looking. Did you see those eyebrows? Did he wink at you?" Danny asks.

"No, I think that was just a sort of general wink, you know? He winked at everybody. It was a general welcoming wink. Ah, I have, er, left some marking. Assembly. Chop-chop. Off you pop. Catch you in a bit. Excuse me." Clara explains.

The Doctor is looking at a plan of the school buildings. He crumples it into his pocket when Clara enters.

"So, you recognised me, then." The Doctor comments.

"You're wearing a different coat." Clara says.

"It didn't seem very cool." Adam comments.

"But you saw straight through that." The Doctor tells her.

A/N - Never finished. Who cares? I don't.

Original Edit: May 18th, 2015

This Edit: December 6th, 2015