Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter!

Disclaimer- I don't own HP. (Dang these get annoying!)

Author's Note- I'm super sorry that I haven't updated for more than a month, homework sucks. Anyways I have the next couple of chapters planned out so they should most definitely be out later this week. I'm trying to improve all of updating habits, so be patient with my procrastination. Review!

Chapter Eleven

Remus rocked uneasily in the wooden chair with worried look on his face. His arms were wrapped around him, like a human straight-jacket. He was breathing heavily.

"Remus it looks like you're about to give birth," laughed Sirius who was sitting across from shoving food down his throat.

"Leave him alone, Sirius. Now let's see, how can we make you presentable for the ladies tonight?" inquired James who was sliding his finger over his chin as though he was in deep thought.

"Come on guys, do I really have to do this?" pleaded Remus as sweat ran down his forehead profusely. "Can't I just pay you each 100 galleons?"

"Remus, you don't have that kind of money, besides this should be fun."

"Yeah fun for you two!" he shrieked.

"Remus, are you alright?" asked Lily who was now standing the doorway. Her hair was lightly tossed over her shoulder and she had her hand over her stomach.

James looked at her bewildered, and asked "Are you alright? Why are you holding your stomach? Oh Merlin-"

"James, I'm fine! Anyways what are you guys up to? I really don't want another fiasco like the one at Christmas," she chuckled.

"Oh, yeah we're taking Remus to the Three Broomsticks tonight to get a girl!" screamed Sirius in serious contentment.

"Oh dear," Lily replied shaking her head.

"What?" asked James.

"Well it's just most of your plans just don't succeed and I would just hate to see Remus here, well get hurt or embarrassed." Lily folded her arms across her chest and looked down at the both of them. She looked a bit like McGonagall if you forget the red hair and how she wasn't a hundred years old.

"Trust me, Lily. This plan will and I mean it will work!" Sirius tried to assure her.

Lily unconvinced replied, "Alright fine, but don't expect me to bail you morons out of jail."

"Lily that really does it hurt," Sirius said in mock hurt holding his hand over his heart.

"Good, now can you please clean up this mess?" she asked irritated pointing the mountain of dishes in the sink and the pile of newspaper that were scattered across the floor.

"Lils, we need this time to plan Remus's expedition," James explained.

"Speaking of which, we'll need your help Lily," Sirius shot.

"Oh dear God, it's not like you ever needed my help to act like idiots before," Lily reminded them walking towards them. She took a seat next to James and held his hand in hers.

Smiling James began, "Well really we need your help since you're a woman."

"Oh please," she replied unconvinced.

"Come on Lils," Sirius started as she shot an angry look his way, "What do you women like about us? I mean what made you like James?" He smiled that heart melting grin that every girl swooned over, except for her. "Besides I still don't see how you fell for James," he muttered.

"Hey!" James called back in resentment.

"Well us women, although I find it offensive you call us that, find a lot things charming about guys," Lily explained.

"Like what?" asked James curiously.

"Like your adorable messy black hair or the way you make my heart melt at every word that rolls off your tongue," Lily said looking into James's face which was bright red.

"Or your beautiful smile and those green eyes that just-"

"Stop, alright?! Enough of this love crap," Sirius spat in sincere hopes they'd just shut it.

Lily laughed, and began, "Well first of all girls like it when guys are honest."

"So a girl wouldn't mind find it mean if we called her an ugly toad, if I was being honest?" asked Sirius.

"I think they would, Sirius. I can't really explain it, just don't tell lie to a girl about how you really feel about her," Lily replied.

"Yes because I find it hard to believe that you genuinely loved two hundred and fifty girls," Remus finally piped up.

"Excuse Mr. Moony, but if you're going to insult me at least get it right. It's been two hundred and sixty seven," Sirius corrected him like it was something to be proud of.

"Ok the next thing is," Lily paused and tapped her index finger to her temple, "make her feel special."

"Like-"

Before Sirius could finish his dirty though Remus interrupted and asked Lily, "How are you supposed to make a girl feel special?"

"It's easy, really. Compliment her, not too much though. Hold her hand and don't pressure her. She'll tell you when she's ready for anything more." Lily looked directly at Sirius at her last word, knowing too well that he had pressured plenty of girls.

"Look Lily I've never pressured a girl," Sirius began in a solemn defense.

"No I wasn't accusing you of anything," she lied and turned her attention back to Remus. "Is that all?"

"No, there is no way! I can barely talk to a girl without spilling something on her and accidentally setting her on fire," Remus pleaded.

"You set a girl on fire?" asked in Lily in bafflement.

"Long story," elucidated James.

"Oh I know one! Never make a girl pay, for dinner or anything. Hold open doors and walk her to the door, that is if she isn't running for it already," Lily chortled and continued, "just be a gentleman."

"Well I can do that, I suppose," Remus said with a tone of confidence in his voice.

"So, I guess that's enough right?" Lily asked hoping she could just leave. She didn't need the details of what exactly they were planning.

"No Lily! We've got all that emotional junk down, we need help with his appearance," Sirius replied urgently.

"There is nothing to do. Remus is cute, I'm sure any girl would love to be with him," Lily complimented in hopes to raise his confidence.

Remus quickly blushed and James nearly flew onto Lily. "But you still find me sexy right?! Right?!"

Lily snorted and began, "Sure if you think I do."

"What?!"

"I'm just kidding, now what's wrong with his appearance?" Lily asked looking at Remus observantly.

He was dressed in simple muggle clothes, a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt with a few rips in it. "He needs to look like me," Sirius announced tugging at his own clothes.

"Like a buffoon?"

"Hey!" Sirius burst in defense.

"Well, since you're going to the Three Broomsticks, and not some muggle place, robes would be fine."

"But robes aren't sexy on him!"

"Er, Sirius?" James asked.

"No! I mean I just, argh!" Sirius tried to explain himself.

"Okay before we get into this conversation, James, go upstairs and find something for Remus. How about those casual robes you wore to that Christmas party last year," Lily suggested.

"You mean that Christmas that-"

"Yes, that one! Now go," Lily quickly interrupted.

James darted out of the room and Sirius turned directly to Lily. "What happened at that Christmas party?"

"Nothing," Lily murmured.

Grinning Sirius replied, "Sure."

xxx

"Remus, come on!" shouted Sirius from the bottom of the stairwell.

"No, I refuse!" he bellowed back from Lily's and James's bedroom.

"Hold still," snapped Lily as she adjusted the collar that Remus was wearing.

"I don't want to do this, I really don't," he complained looking up the clock. It would be a very long night.

"Remus, you really should do this," Lily answered him holding his palm in hers. "You'll never find her if you don't look for her."

"Yeah and I'll never find her if I'm being dragged by two baboons."

"Oh Remus," Lily laughed as she tucked a pin where the ends of one sleeve met. She stepped back and examined him. She raised her two thumbs and said, "I wouldn't be surprised if you were the next Sirius, minus all those womanizer qualities."

"Thanks Lily," he lightly pecked on her on the cheek. "Wish me luck."

He headed for the door as Lily called after him, "Good luck!"

He rolled his eyes and he slowly slumped down the stairs. James and Sirius were waiting for him at the bottom with two stupid looking smiles. "Ready, Moony?"

"Yeah, let's just get this over with," he moaned.

"Aw c'mon it won't be that bad," James tried to assure him.

"Yeah, we'll see about that." Remus suppressed a heavy sigh and followed the two. This would most definitely be a night that he wouldn't be able to forget. He adjusted the collar; Lily had set it much too tight, and followed them out the door. The cold January air slapped them in the face as soon as they stepped out.

Shivering Sirius quickly announced, "Apparate to Hogsmeade." Remus knew there was absolutely no way of getting out of this. If he ran into the house, not bothering to Apparate to Hogsmeade with them, they'd come back to get him within a matter of seconds.

James smiled back at Remus before disappearing. "Oh Merlin, here we go," Remus muttered under his breath. He closed his eyes and Apparated to what was planning to be a very long night.

Author's Note: Another filler chapter sorry! I didn't think many people would want to read a six page story so I stopped here. But I updated both chapters so you wouldn't have to wait! So go review!