Disclaimer- If I was JKR I would be a billionaire and not have made Dumbledore gay.

Author's Note- Enjoy and Review!

Chapter Twelve

Remus soon found himself in the all too familiar Hogsmeade. He could smell the sweets reeking from Honeydukes. The memories of his school days flooded back, even if they all had been there just a few months ago. At least when he was younger he wasn't being dragged out to meet girls, ones who would probably end up in St. Mungo's the next morning. Remus let out a hefty sigh and then dragged himself through the snow to the Three Broomsticks.

The noise nearly burned his ears off as he stepped over the threshold. Through the crowd of witches and wizards – were some of those underage in the corner? - he instantly spotted James and Sirius. James was sitting upon a stool chatting it up with Madame Rosmerta. It wasn't much of a surprise. He and Sirius would always find some disturbing way to flatter her so much that she served alcohol to them, even if they were underage when she did.

Sirius was leaning upon the bar also, almost on top of the girl he was talking to, and was pressing his luck with the cheesiest pick-up lines to date. "Your body is like a wonderland," he paused taking a long gulp of firewhisky, "and right now I want to be Alice." The girl, slim and extraordinarily beautiful which was nothing new, started to blush profusely.

"Oh, Sirius!" she squealed as she slapped her hand on his chest which only intrigued him even more. He whispered something in her ear that made her redder than a tomato. He left leaving her there bright red, brighter than Lily's hair, and walked towards Remus.

With a satisfied look on his face he spoke, "Tonight is going to be very fun."

"Yeah because my getting rejected is entertaining to watch," Remus snapped.

"Oh yeah, that too," Sirius answered.

"You pervert," commented Remus as James walked beside the two. He had two bottles of firewhisky in his hand, one of which was already half gone. He handed one to Remus and took a seat at a nearby table.

Sirius and Remus followed grasping their bottles tight in their hands. "Oh this table brings back lots of memories," Sirius announced. Remus took a chair and sat down. He slumped down and set his head down on the table, his arms shielding him from the world. "I think her name was Dorcas."

"Ugh!" Remus shouted as he jumped up from his position.

"Oh Moony," Sirius patted his shoulder to which Remus quickly moved away from his touch. "Just sit down." Sirius took a seat and poured some more firewhisky down his throat.

Hesitantly, Remus took a seat in between James and Sirius. "Can we just get this over with?" Remus moaned.

"Why would you want to rush your first night picking up women?" asked James confused.

"Women?" asked a much displeased Remus.

"Yes not just one, but many," answered Sirius who winked at a nearby girl, different from the one who he had been previously talking to. He turned his attention back to them and spoke, "Here's the plan, talk to her, get her drunk, snog her senseless, shag her senseless, and then tomorrow do it all over again with someone new!"

"If I sleep with every woman in here it will be like sleeping with you Sirius!" Remus shouted. He took an exaggerated drink of his firewhisky and then immediately realized what he had just said. "Oh no, that is not what I meant!"

Sirius couldn't help the roar of laughter he was producing. He was holding onto his stomach, his face bright purple. It was hard to tell if he was laughing or if he was doing a drunk tap dance. "Thanks, Moony! It's nice to know I'm so irresistible to both sexes."

"Screw you," Remus snapped.

"Anytime," he sardonically replied. "Now let's find you a woman! We'll start with one tonight, after what you just said; two just may not be safe."

"Alright, Padfoot. Now let's find him a girl." They quickly went into what they called "hunting mode". They set their eyes on every girl in the place. James quickly pointed out one with long, shimmering golden hair. She looked as though she was having a good time, a real good time. "How about her?"

"No she's too blonde," Sirius hastily rejected.

"What? No she's not."

"Alright, just no. We didn't exactly have a clean break," Sirius explained keeping his eyes focused on the many girls that passed by, all of which were drunk. "Aha, there she is! She is perfect!" Sirius was practically jumping out of his seat as he pointed to a girl that was standing in a corner surrounded by a herd of hungry men. It wasn't exactly food they were hungry for.

She was a tall, slender, brunette, and not to mention a busty woman. It was no surprise Sirius immediately liked her. "Why? She doesn't look like she has morals," Remus explained his voice almost cracking.

"Now that is not a very fair assumption," James defended.

"She just flashed them!" he exclaimed.

"And that's not moral, because? It was probably for a good cause."

"No not her," Remus pleaded.

"Yes, you are going after her," announced Sirius who was now sporting a hefty grin across his face. He shoved Remus out of his chair and violently pushed him across the room.

Remus couldn't stop, he was going far too fast and before he knew it he landed in the lap of the busty brunette. "Oh dear Merlin, I'm sorry," he frantically apologized

"Oh it's alright," she replied, her voice was almost a lullaby as she spoke. Remus stood up and brushed himself off. He bent down and held his hand out for her. She avidly took it and as he pulled her up she slammed him into the wall. In the process several shelves' contents spilled onto the floor. She pinned her body up against his, breathing down his throat. "Hi," she murmured moving her lips to his throat.

Remus's heart was now doing jumping-jacks, maybe even some summersaults on the side. He tried to push her away but it wasn't working. He could hear the hooting from Sirius who now had two more different women settled on his lap. "No," he pleaded.

"Yes," she fought back.

"I'm gay!" he finally shouted his face growing a deep shade of pink.

"No you're not," she protested.

"Oh yes I am, totally and utterly. I don't think you're attractive at all, not one bit," he tried to explain.

"Then why are your eyes fixed upon my chest?" she asked her voice still melodic.

"What? They are not!" he bellowed.

"Well that just proves you're not gay," she laughed.

"What, how?" he stuttered.

She didn't answer, but only pulled her body closer to his. It was like she was super-glued to him. Remus had had enough, and with all the force he had in him, he pushed her away. She went flying across the bar bringing the glasses with her. People watched her in horror, some afraid of whether to laugh or not. Before Remus could even sneak another breath in, a livid Madame Rosmerta stood before him. "Out!"

In shame, Remus walked past the whole pub. He glanced towards Sirius and James. Sirius had a look of anger and pleased look on his face. James was too busy playing with his fingers to pay attention. Remus doubted whether he had even seen what had happened.

He slowly exited the bar, his face still a deep pink. His forehead was a pool of sweat that only made matters worse. Remus whipped his head back once more to see if Sirius or James was coming, before stepping out of the pub. Maybe some unknown supernatural force would have made them both too drunk to notice. It didn't seem that good of theory, considering that woman had a made a loud thud. Very loud.

The cool air brushed against his face, calming him down a bit. The snow crunched under his feet, noisily. Remus soon found an oak bench a few shops from the Three Broomsticks. He was too embarrassed a woman sitting at the other end, bundled in many layers of what looked like warm clothing. She had long brownish hair with a tint of bronze in it that was stuffed into her hat. She was looking straight ahead, at nothing in particular, and smiling. Just smiling like there was someone or something pleasant in front of her.

He sat on the edge of the bench, almost falling off. Only hours, it would only be a few hours until they were done, right? It wasn't that he didn't like this total stranger, just that he wasn't very social. Remus folded his hands and placed them on his lap which urged her to talk. "Hi," she squeaked. Her voice was much like a young girl's, but she didn't look young. She looked to be around Remus's own age.

"Hi," he curtly replied. He didn't want to make small talk; he couldn't even do that without something bad happening.

She turned her body to his and smiled. "What's your name?"

"Er, Remus," Remus stuttered. "And you?"

"Oh yes, I'm Sara," she replied. With each breath she took her eyelashes batted, almost rhythmically. Remus couldn't deny that she was gorgeous. Not the gorgeous Sirius went by, but honestly gorgeous. Her bright blue eyes were vibrant as they bounced off her brown hair.

"What are you doing here, tonight?" He had to ask the question before she did. The fact that he got kicked out of a pub for pushing a woman across the bar was not exactly his proudest moment.

"Oh nothing, really. I just haven't been here so long," she reminisced. "Hufflepuff."

"Gryffindor," he answered.

"Oh," she sighed and then placed her head back into its previous position. "And why are you here tonight?" she giggled.

"Oh Merlin, you know don't you know?" he suppressed a heavy sigh as he placed his head in his hands.

She placed her hand upon his back which instantly made him go rigid and spoke, "It's alright." She muffled a giggle with her red glove and continued, "I would have definitely done the same, although I'm not sure why you didn't just use your wand."

"I forgot about that," Remus groaned.

"Swiss cheese?" she randomly asked. Remus shot his head up confused and a bit angered. In her hand she three blocks of Swiss cheese which were covered in red fuzz. She still had a smirk on her face as she placed on in her mouth.

"Swiss cheese?! You think Swiss cheese will make me feel better?" he bellowed.

"It does for me, and American cheese isn't so bad either," she trailed off talking about different types of cheeses.

"Well I don't like cheese!"

"What did it ever do to you? I mean it is cheese, poor innocent cheese and you have some sort of vendetta towards it!" she yelled back obviously offended.

"It's damn cheese, it doesn't have feelings!"

"Yes it does and you know it. I swear cheese makes all your problems go away, just try it," she urged placing the cheese farther in his face.

He shook his head resembling a five year old. She placed a cube between two fingers and pushed it against his pursed lips. He didn't budge. She kept on pushing trying to get him to open. "C'mon, open up the tunnel, for the chu-chu train," she pleaded.

"No!" he bellowed opening his mouth full enough for her to shove it in. As he shut his mouth trying to protest he placed his sharp teeth against a very cold object.

"Ow!" Sara screamed holding her injured finger to her chest, tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry, oh I'm sorry!" he apologized frantically trying to pry her finger away from her chest.

"No, please I know it was an accident," she assured him. She turned back to Remus and produced a mortified look on her face. "Remus?"

"Yes?" he asked rubbing her finger.

"Are you alright?" she asked brushing her free hand against his face that was pale.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" he asked.

"Well it's just your face," she began.

Confused Remus placed his hands against his face and then realized what was happening. He jumped from his seat in the chair and twisted his body to the moon. It was full.

"Oh dear Merlin," he muttered to himself. "How did I not notice? How did I forget?"

"What, what did you forget?"

"I'm sorry, Sara. I have to go, I'll…I'll see you around," he stammered before running in the opposite direction as fast as his legs would let him.

Sara sat there with a bewildered expression on her face. "Was it my breath?" She called after him, "Cheese is known to give you bad breath!" Remus didn't dare to look back but kept on running knowing his time was very limited. She crossed her arms across her chest in confusion and anger. "What if I poisoned him with my cheese? Oh dear Merlin, leave it to Swiss cheese to poison someone," she argued with herself.

A slurred voice arouse from behind her, "Hey baby, let's go home and have some fun." She turned around only to see Sirius leaning up against the bench. He was breathing heavily into her ear leaving a horrid stench in the air. He was obviously drunk.

She turned her body back and grimaced in disgust. "Oh yes I'll go back to my home and you go to yours," she snapped.

He hopped over the back panel of the bench and propped himself next to her. He hung his arms around her shivering body and spoke, "Don't be difficult, now what is a girl like you doing out here all alone?"

"Well if you must know," she pushed his arms off of her and continued, "I was with someone, by the name of Remus."

"Remus? I have a friend named Remus," garbled Sirius completely oblivious to the fact it was indeed the same Remus.

"He left abruptly though, after looking at the moon. It looked like he was about to get sick or something, and then he just ran. Maybe he was late for something," she trailed off still pondering the possibilities of what had happened.

Just then Sirius sat straight up and it almost seemed like he was completely sober. "Are you sure? This Remus did he have sandy blonde hair, and uh um scratches all over his face?" he asked standing up from the bench.

"Yes, why?" she asked.

"No reason, I have to go, nice seeing you. And by the way that offer still stand, me and you, maybe some-"

"Sirius!" called a hoarse voice a few shops down. Sirius cocked his head only to see James swaying uneasily side to side. Sirius started running, galloping really by the looks of it and James followed his actions. All they needed was a meadow full of flowers and the sun to create that clichéd scene of two lovers running towards each other. "Where's Remus?" James asked as they approached each other.

"I don't know, this chick over there said something about Remus running away and the moon," he panted in response.

"Moon?!" James bellowed; his eyes wide.

"Yeah the moon, that thing that makes Remus change every month when it's," Sirius looked up at the sky and instantly added, "Ohhhhh."

"Dumbass," James muttered. "Well where is he?"

"Shrieking Shack, probably."

"Well go!"

xxx

"Oh dear Merlin, where is Sirius," Lily took a deep breath and spoke, "and Remus?"

James brushed her to the side as he pulled the blanket closer around them. "Have you seen the moon?" he whispered in her ear.

"Oh," she muttered.

"Plus some fuzzy cheese had a part in it," he laughed.

"Fuzzy cheese?" she asked.

"Oh yes, fuzzy cheese," James mimicked in a deep voice, attempting to make it sound seductive. "Lily did you notice we are all alone, no Sirius or Remus?"

"Yes, I think did" she replied laying a hand over his chest, grinning.

"Well is there anything you want to do?" he asked trying to sound innocent.

"I can think of something," she answered putting heavy emphasis on something.

"And that would be?" James asked feeling a surge of excitement rush through him. He hadn't had any time alone with Lily for months, and now they were finally all alone.

"Well," she began as she fumbled over his collar. She undid one button before pressing her lips to his chest and answered, "To sleep. Good night!" She rolled over and turned off the light with a huge smile on her face. James made a mental note to bring along some fuzzy cheese next time he wanted to do something more with Lily.

Well I know this wasn't very funny, sorry…the next ones I'll try and put lots of humor into them…

Plus I was just wondering if anyone could help me with this problem??---

My computer is continually freezing like at random times. It always happens when I'm typing causing me to lose my files sometimes. I put them all on a thing just in case, but is there anything I can do to my computer to make it stop? I mean it seriously freezes ten times in just twenty minutes…would cleaning my computer of all of my files help at all?

As soon as I fix my computer I'll update again!