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Repairing what's lost

Since he couldn't find any sleep Logan had decided to walk down to the infirmary and was now sitting next to Jean's bed. He watched her stirring in her sleep for minutes and it wasn't a secret to him what her dream was about. He knew nightmares too well. It didn't take long and the redhead sat up with a shriek. Panic-stricken she looked around and had trouble to realize where she was. "You're safe," Logan said in a calm voice, but still she startled and began to heave even deeper breaths than before. While she still looked around in confusion he got up to get her a glass of water, which he held towards her. But she stared at the cast on her wrist. Logan sat carefully down on the edge of the bed to not startle her again. "Hank had to break it again," he told her. "Does it hurt?" He watched how she looked away and shook her head. "Drink a bit," Logan said since he still held the glass into her direction. Jean looked at it and reached carefully out to take it, but as soon as their hands touched she startled and pulled away. Seeing the mess she had caused she gave him a frightened look.

"I'm sorry!" she quickly said and panicked.

He had to say her name twice before he finally made her look at him. It was too easy for him to read in her eyes that she was scared of him. "Ya haven't done anythin' wrong, Jean," Logan tried to soothe her. He took the glass and put it onto the bedside table. "Get up, the sheets are soaked." He reached out to take her hand.

"No," Jean quickly said and backed off.

Logan sighed in frustration. "Jean, have I ever hurt ya physically?" he asked her after a moment and saw that she was thinking about it. Looking at him insecurely, she finally shook her head. "See? C'mon I take ya upstairs," he said and pulled the wet blanket aside before he held his hand out to her and waited for her to take it. Jean looked at it for a while before she looked back into his eyes. "C'mon, 'Ro's waiting," Logan said and watched how she reached carefully out with her good hand, but withdrew again before she finally took his hand. "Watch your other hand when ya get up," he told her and saw that she had some trouble. Since he had no idea if she wore any other bandages, he gave her ribs a nod. "Bandages?" he asked and received a weak nod. "I'll help you, okay?" Logan offered and she watched him attentively when his free hand reached out to touch her opposite shoulder. Still heaving deep breaths and unable to calm her racing heart, Jean closed her eyes when he pulled her carefully up until she stood on her own two feet. "Okay?" he asked her in concern since she was more than pale. "Ya ain't feelin' dizzy or somethin', do ya?"

"No," she said barely audible and wrapped her free arm around herself when he let go of her to lead her upstairs.

They stopped in front of Ororo's door and Logan knocked on it. It didn't take long and the door was opened. "Hey," he said and could tell that the woman hadn't slept either.

"I thought she's staying in the infirmary," she said sleepily and gave Jean a look.

"I think she should stay here," he replied and received a nod, while the redhead looked at Ororo insecurely.

"Okay, but then you have to take Julian," the weather goddess said and noticed how Logan rolled his eyes. "There's no discussion, Logan," she said and disappeared just to reappear with the sleeping boy on her arms. Seeing him, Jean's eyes widened and she gave the man next to her a scared and shocked look.

This one reluctantly took the boy and sighed. "Call me if somethin's wrong," he grunted. "Night." Turning around he left and walked over to his own room. He didn't like the fact that it was up to him now to care for the boy.

"Come in," Ororo said and made room for her friend. "You can have the bed. I'll sleep on the mattress," she told Jean, who stood rather helpless in the middle of the room. "Do you need anything?" she asked but received a shake of her friend's head only. "Lay down." She watched the redhead doing so and lay down next to the bed, too. When Ororo was about to switch the lights off she noticed that Jean was about to say something.

"Does he know?" the woman asked barely audible.

First looking at her in confusion since she had no clue what the woman was talking about, Ororo guessed. "That Julian's his son?" she asked and Jean nodded. "Yes, he does," he told her and watched how Jean looked away. "We can talk about it tomorrow, okay? You should sleep now. Wake me if something's wrong." she told her and switched the lights off.

In his room Logan lay on his side and looked at the sleeping boy next to him who clutched his plush wolf close to his chest. His eyes began at the already unruly, nearly black hair and he remembered that he also has his hazel eyes, too. Still, he didn't know what to think about him. He couldn't get used to the fact that he was a father now and that this boy was supposed to be his son. He never wanted to have kids. He didn't even like them and now he had this small copy of him lying right next to him. Logan stared at the boy a bit longer before he reached out to carefully touch the tiny hand. In his sleep Julian grabbed the finger and held onto it with a firm grip. The boy turned around and opened one eye a bit. "So you're my kid, hm?" Logan said and kept his voice low while he met the boy's gaze. It didn't take long and Julian was asleep again after a long yawn. Taking the blanket Logan tucked him in and switched the lights off. He only hoped that he wouldn't have a nightmare and would accidentally stab the boy.


A few hours later he awoke due to some noises next to him and figured that the boy was whining. Sighing, he switched the lights on and cocked an eyebrow at the small pictures of misery next to him. "What's wrong?" he grunted and Julian looked at him sniffing. Sitting up a bit Logan ran a hand through his tousled hair and heard the boy sobbing again. He sighed and felt how he became more and more annoyed by the boy. He had no idea what was wrong all of a sudden. Finally, Logan grabbed the bottle on his nightstand, which, and he knew that it had been her, Ororo must have brought together with two diapers and handed it to the boy, but this one shook his head. Putting it away again, he took a sniff and figured that the kid didn't need a new diaper either. Sighing tiredly, Logan ran both hands through his face. "Jeez, kid, what's wrong?!" he asked in complete annoyance and managed that the boy began to sob even louder after burying his head in the wolf's fur. Making a promise to himself that he would kill a specific woman in this building right after breakfast, Logan finally pulled the boy up and onto his lap. He tried to remember what he had seen women do on TV with little babies that wouldn't stop to go on their parents' nerves. In the end he pulled him close and patted the boy's back, while he still tried to figure out what could be the reason for the outburst. It couldn't be that the room wasn't tidied up because it never was, the sheets were fresh, he had taken a shower, there wasn't a spring sticking out of the mattress and there was no way that something smelled in his room. Especially not since women always told him that he smelled good. So in the end Logan tried to think like the boy and about what could have made him cry after waking up in a comfortable bed. "Ya don't know where ya are, huh?" he finally figured out and stroked over Julian's hair.

After the boy had finally calmed down again Logan put him back down and tucked him in. "Sleep," he told him but the boy, who rested his head on his wolf, looked at him with big eyes. Lying back down, Logan rested his head in one hand and cocked an eyebrow at him in return. He couldn't help but starting to wonder about which powers the boy probably had. He was sure that his son was a mutant, too. There was no way that he wasn't with him and Jean as his parents. Logan then began to wonder how he would have reacted if he had stayed and Jean had told him one day that she was pregnant with his child. He couldn't imagine what he would have done or said. It was still hard for him to imagine that one time had been enough to create that copy of him. Even if it happened two years ago, he still remembered that night too well…

Logan entered the mansion through the front door. It was way past midnight and he did not only look like a drowned dog due to the heavy storm on the outside, he also still wore the marks of that evening. He was just ascending the stairs as the light in the foyer was switched on. "Logan?" Jean asked and he froze on the spot. His luck again. He had actually hoped to be able to sneak into the mansion without being detected. "Where have you been?" the redhead asked and came closer. Wrapping her arms around her body when she shivered, she noticed how his eyes scanned her body and blushed. Maybe, she thought, it would have been wise to wear a shirt over her tight black shirt and short pants. Swallowing hard she looked at him. "What happened to you?" she asked and stopped at the staircase. "Is that blood?"

"Maybe," he replied and still couldn't stop staring at her curves. He only hoped she wouldn't come closer.

"What did you do?" Jean asked and ascended the stairs until she stood right in front of him. She noticed how he tensed his muscles and made a step back. "You're soaking wet… Why do you always have to leave when a storm is raging on the outside?!" she scolded him and took his hand to drag him over to the elevator. "Let's fix you up."

"I'm fine, darlin'," Logan said and tried to free himself from her telekinetic grip. "Really…," he added and hoped it would save him from sharing that narrow cabin with her. He already had trouble to control his inner beast with her being dressed like this and showing her curves so openly. Logan swallowed even harder when his eyes caught her backside. "Jeannie, really. It ain't necessary…"

"Shut up," the redhead sighed and pushed the button to the basement. As soon as she had let go of his hand, he retreated into the opposite corner of the elevator and hoped the doors would open soon again. "Come on," Jean ordered and grabbed his arm to lead him over to the infirmary. "Did you know by the way that since you live here our wasting of bandages has doubled? Maybe that makes you think about your nightly strolls…"

"Mhm…," Logan mumbled and was dragged into the infirmary by her, where she told him to get rid of his soaked clothing. Sitting down on one bed he pulled his jacket and shirts off and waited for her to return with a tray.

"Your jeans, Logan," Jean said and gave him a look while she sorted her medical equipment. "There's blood on it, too, and a large cut as far as I can see. I need to look at it."

"Ehm," he made and pressed his shirts even more onto his crotch. "No… It's fine."

"You're behaving odd," she noticed and tried to concentrate on her work without staring at his body too long. "So, what did you do?"

"Had some fun," Logan shrugged and was grateful that she handed him a towel to dry his wet hair. In that way he was at least distracted from staring at her two best arguments too much.

"Fun?" she asked him with a stern look. "Logan…did you start a brawl? It's not fun to beat others up…"

"I didn't beath'em up, darling'. They attacked me," he defended himself and put the towel away, just to see her smirking after a look at his hair. "This ain't funny!"

"Actually it is," she grinned and went on cleaning his skin. "Looks fluffy…"

"Fluffy?!" he asked in disbelief and cocked an eyebrow at her while growling low.

"Yes, fluffy. If you like it or not," Jean nodded and ran a finger over a just healed wound. She tried to ignore that he shivered. "Does it hurt?"

"No…," Logan replied hoarsely and cleared his throat. "It tickles."

"Sorry…"

"Never mind…" He watched how she leant in a bit to check on a former cut on his cheek and held his breath while he thought his heart would burst in his chest. He couldn't believe after all the women he'd been with that she made him feel like a teenager. It didn't help at all that she radiated nervousness and that he could hear her fast heartbeat too clearly. She blushed when their eyes met and became aware of how close their bodies were. She could feel the heat he radiated and shivered, while Logan suppressed the urge to pull her into a kiss.

"Ehm…," Jean stuttered and made two steps back. "You seem to be fine."

"Told ya so," he said huskily and heaved a deep breath.

"Well…," she mumbled and looked anywhere but at him, while his eyes seemed to be burning into her. "I think we should go to bed," she added and blushed. "I mean…back to our own beds… You coming?"

"Go ahead," he said and grabbed his wet jacket and shirts, making sure that they covered his crotch when he followed her back to the elevator. In it, he leant back against the wall opposite of her and watched how she pushed a button, just to furrow her brows next after the doors had closed.

"What's that?" she asked and pulled his head down a bit to examine a spot behind his ear. Jean stroked over the dark spot and leant back a bit, while Logan had tilted his head and was staring at her from aside. "It was only mud," she said and gasped when he pulled her into a rough kiss all of a sudden that contained the whole tension he was feeling for minutes. Unable to resist she kissed him back and noticed that she was suddenly pressed against the wall, while the elevator had stopped. A look to the side told her that he had pressed the stop-button and she gasped when he began to bite into her neck softly. When her heart had been racing before, it was now completely out of control and she found it hard to think or breath at all. All she could feel was his heated and strong body pressing against hers, while his hands and lips seemed to be everywhere. "Logan…," Jean gasped and buried her hands in his hair before she pulled his head back; trying to fill her lungs with air. "We've to stop…," she panted and looked into his eyes that were so full of heat and longing.

"No," he growled and leant in to kiss her again, but she held him back.

"I can't do this," Jean said still out of breath. "I can't…"

"But ya want it," Logan whispered huskily into her ear and heard how a surprised gasp escaped her lips when he pushed his groin against her. "Ya want it…," he sighed and held her gaze, waited for a reaction. He looked at her slightly bruised lips, felt how her heavy breaths left them and stared into her eyes. Jean looked back and felt how she began to shiver under his touch. Part of her wanted to give in, had always wanted to get a taste of his wildness, the other screamed at her to stop and not go any further. But the first part was stronger. Jean had always felt how something deep within her responded to his animal, how every time she met his gaze or watched him a voice in her head began to become louder. They had never been that close and heated up before and she couldn't stop her body from reacting to him. She knew he was fully aware of that. His reaction to her was too obvious by now and she asked herself if she said no, if he would stop; if the animal in him could be stopped. Because if she looked into his dark eyes, she was convinced that part of the Wolverine stared back and his eyes sparkled of lust and hunger. Before Jean could react he had kissed her passionately again and, as if her mind had stopped working, she kissed him back; as hard and rough as he did and never stopped doing so. Even not when she began to work on his jeans and Logan pushed her pants down, just to pull her up and against him in one quick move. Jean wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed into it, while she crossed her legs behind his back to pull him even closer. Both of them exchanged one last look before they got lost into another passionate kiss again…


While straightening her clothing, Jean kept on giving Logan, who closed his belt, brief looks. She guessed that her face was flushed. The heat she could still feel within her and also in the small cabin of the elevator made her still breathe hard. She wanted to know what he thought, but didn't dare to read his mind. It was useless anyway. "This…this stays between us, right?" she asked him and pushed some strands aside that had fallen into her face, while she gave him a shy look.

"Sure," Logan shrugged and got his wet shirts from the ground. "Did ya think I call the next newspaper or somethin'?"

"No, it's just…," Jean mumbled and felt how her heart skipped a beat when he met her gaze.

"What?" he asked since she didn't go on. He cocked an eyebrow at her when she came slowly closer and kept on staring at him. "What?!" he asked again as she pulled him into a kiss. Surprised about it, Logan stared at her blankly. He had no idea what was going on in her head. "What…was that about now?" he therefore asked and watched how she bit her lip and stroked down his chest. "Jean?"

"I'm sorry," she mumbled and made a step back. "I shouldn't have… I'm sorry."

Reaching out he cupped her chin and made her look up. "I'm not," Logan whispered huskily and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. Afterwards he stroked over her cheek and through her hair. "Wanna stay with me tonight?" he asked and she blushed.

"I can't…," Jean replied and noticed that the elevator was moving again. "Scott…"

"Thought he's on a mission," Logan grunted and met her gaze.

"Yes, he is," she nodded and pushed her hair back again. "But he's supposed to come back tonight, so… He might be already back…"

Nodding, Logan heaved a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair when the elevator door opened. "Well, then…," he began and stepped out of it.

"Yeah…," she said and checked the corridors before she followed him toward the staircase. "I…," Jean began and pointed down the corridor. "I go and get a tea," she said and noticed that he only wanted to go to bed. "I see you at breakfast then?"

"Yeah," Logan nodded. "Have a good night, Red," he added and ascended the stairs, hearing how she said "you, too" and headed to his room. He had barely closed the door when his phone suddenly rang…

Logan awoke from his daydream when Julian cuddled up to his arm and held onto it in his sleep. Smiling a bit he reached out to switch the lights off once more.


On the next morning Ororo knocked on his room door several times and waited for him to open it, but nothing happened. Feeling worried, since he actually hadn't had a deep sleep, she began to fear that he might have left again and opened the door to step inside. She couldn't help but smile when she saw that Julian was still asleep in Logan's arms and her smile became even wider, since the man had both arms wrapped around his son as if to protect him. Nevertheless, he also seemed to have noticed that something was odd. Logan began to stir in his sleep and opened his eyes drowsily. "Morning," Ororo said and crossed her arms. "Had a good night?"

"'s okay," he mumbled and ran a hand through his messy hair, before he sat up. "What about Jean?"

"I gave her some pills," she told him and received a nod. "She's still sleeping and slept through the whole night."

"Good," he yawned and stretched.

"Has Julian made any trouble?" Ororo asked but Logan shook his head. "Well, good, because the Professor told me that he wants Jeans to stay with me. So you have to take care of the boy."

"WHAT?!" he asked aloud and stared at her in utter disbelief. "No way!"

"It's your son, Logan and your responsibility," she lectured him.

"I don't want him!" he gave back and narrowed his eyes. "That kid only slept in my bed, coz Jeannie was stayin' with ya."

Hearing him talking like that Ororo began to glare at him, while the weather on the outside changed drastically. "You'll take care of your boy! It's your fault anyway, since Jean and you were so responsible to not use protection. So deal with the consequences, Logan!"

He glared back at her and growled. "Give him to someone else!" he snapped. "I can't handle a kid."

"Then you'll learn it!" she shot back and heard him giving a snort. "Come one, Logan! He's such a cute and adorable boy. I'd be proud to have a son like him."

"Well, then take him," he shrugged.

"I won't," Ororo hissed and narrowed her eyes. "If you can sleep around, you can also take care of the consequences! It's your child. If you don't want him then give him to a couple that can't have children and want one badly," she snapped and walked over to the door again. "I'll bring Julian's things over. Make sure he's ready for breakfast," Ororo added and gave him a disappointed look before she left, while Logan only glared at the boy next to him.

Okay, I just noticed that I wrote too much. LOL Actually the chapter was supposed to end after the flashback when Logan switched off the lights again. Well, never mind. I hope you enjoy reading it. I can't give a preview though. Up to now I had only those 6 chapters pre-written as a rough-sketch. I have some scenes pre-written which take part somewhere during the story, so I have to make some things up. Please review!!