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Sorry that I am not updating so fast anymore, but I have to share the PC with 6 other people while I am in the US and the boys here think they can use it 24/7 to watch stupid videos. : ( I'm already doing my best. LOL And no, I haven't forgotten about Changes. I'm currently on page 15 with a major writer's block. I need to find a way to my pre-written scenes. : (

Repairing what's lost

Unable to take his eyes from her pale face, Logan still sat next to Jean's bed in the ICU and stared at her. Too many things were going on within his head at once, but the most important question remained unanswered: Why? He couldn't find any answer to that question and it began to bother him a lot. Was it his fault and shouldn't he have allowed her to go? Was it Ororo's fault because she hadn't watched her as she was supposed to do? Sighing aloud, he ran both hands through his tired face and bent forward a bit. While his elbows supported his weight on his knees, he lowered his head and could only shake it.

"You're still here?" Hank asked when he entered to check on his patient. But if he was honest to himself, he wasn't surprised at all. He'd expected him to be here.

"Why did she do it?" Logan asked and watched him. The look the mutant gave him, even if it was only for less than a second, told him that he knew something. "Ya know why she did it…"

"Yes and I can't tell you," Hank replied and checked on Jean's pulse.

"The hell ya do," Logan said angrily and got up. "I wanna know why she did it!"

"And again, Logan, I can't tell you," the other man said. "And don't be so loud she needs to rest."

"Oh don't give me that shit," Logan snapped.

"Logan, please!" Hank said a bit more demanding and pointed at the door. "If you can't stay quiet, get out!"

Glaring at him, the other mutant walked slowly towards Hank and stopped right in front of him. "Who are ya to throw me out, bub?" he growled in a deep voice but his opposite looked back unimpressed.

"Her doctor," was all Hank replied and held the man's gaze. "Sit down and be quiet or get out and let me do my job."

Only snorting, Logan turned and let himself fall back into the chair but not without continuing to glare at the furry mutant.

"I still can't believe that…," Ororo sobbed and pulled the confused Julian closer against her chest. "This is my fault… I should have watched her better…"

"It's not, Ororo," Charles tried to soothe her and shook his head. "Moira and Hank warned me about it only minutes before… We still don't know how she found out…"

"Thank God Logan looked for her…," she sniffed and ran a hand through her tearstained face. "If he hadn't…" She shook her head and sobbed again.

"But he has," the Professor replied and looked down, knowing that she was right. He didn't even dare to imagine what would have happened if Logan hadn't gone to look for her.

"He needs a new diaper," Ororo suddenly said and got up with Julian on her arm. "Excuse me."

Only nodding at her, Charles watched her leaving just to see how Hank entered the room next. "How is she?"

"Still unconscious," the man told him. "But I managed to stop the bleeding."

"Do you think she found out?" the bald man asked him after Hank had sat down in front of the desk.

"I don't know…," he replied and shook his head. "All I know is that she needs to be watched around the clock. There's no way that I can guarantee that she won't try it again and when we don't watch her, she might be successful the next time. If Logan hadn't found her, she would have bled to death."

"So what do you suggest?"

Heaving a deep breath while thinking about any further steps, Hank shook his head. "I don't know, Charles. I never dealt with a case like this before," he said honestly. "But I suggest that always one of us is with her. We have to make sure that she doesn't try to commit suicide again. Moira and I will also talk to her about her condition. Since Jean is a doctor she knows about the opportunities she has in her case. And of course we will talk with her about her need to see a psychologist."

Nodding in agreement, the Professor leant back in his wheelchair. "What do we do if she refuses to work with a psychologist?"

"I don't know," Hank replied and shook his head. "I really don't know…"

"Who's with Jean now?" Charles asked when his opposite got up.

"Logan's with her."

"That's good," the bald man nodded. "Then we can be sure that she's watched. He won't leave her side."

Turning around at the door, Hank gave him a look that spoke volumes. "Are you sure, Charles?" he asked him in a rather chilly voice. "He did it before, remember?"

After having fallen asleep, Logan opened his eyes drowsily and, after seeing that Jean was still sleeping, looked at the tray next to him. He was convinced that either Ororo or Marie had brought it and reached out to grab one of the sandwiches. While eating it he kept his eyes on the woman in the bed and asked himself again why she would go so far as to kill herself. He guessed that she must have gotten or seen any test results that had upset and depressed her so much that she would go so far. He only asked himself why she had chosen his room. She must have known that he would pick up on the scent of blood, especially if it was mixed with her scent. Logan emptied one of the two water bottles after swallowing the last bits of the sandwich, before he got up to throw the empty bottle away. It was then that he heard her uttering a sob. "Hey," he said in a calm voice and sat down on the edge of the bed to look at her. "God, girl, why did ya do that?" Logan asked but all he received as an answer was another loud sob from her. Not knowing what to do, he carefully took one of her hands into his and used the other to stroke up and down her arm. He didn't reckon with her suddenly holding onto him as if her life depended on it. All he knew was that if she did it despite her fear of being touched, something big must have happened. Logan took her face carefully into his hands as not to startle her and studied her face. "What happened, Jeannie?" he asked her and stroked over her cheeks, but she only shook her head. "Are ya seriously sick?" he asked since he feared that the most. "What is it then?" he asked after she'd shaken her head again. "Ya can tell me," he added and looked into her eyes again.

"I…," Jean began but shook her head and lowered her head while her body shook due to her strong sobs. "He…"

"You what?" he asked in a calm voice and gave the bandages on her wrists a worried look.

"I'm pregnant…," he heard her mumbling during her sobs and closed his eyes for a brief moment.

Sighing, Logan stroked over her back before he made her look at him. "But that's no reason t'kill yourself, Jean," he said and saw the despair in her eyes. "We'll help ya…"

"I don't want the child of a rapist," she suddenly hissed and gave him a look as if he was out of his mind.

"But still ya don't have t'kill yourself," he said once more and shook his head. "There're other ways."

Heaving a deep breath Jean ran a hand through her face and shook her head. "I can't do this…," she mumbled and lowered her head, but looked up when she felt him touching her cheek.

"I'll help ya," Logan promised and could tell that she was able to read in his eyes what he felt at the moment, as much as he was able to read it in hers. Breaking eye contact he nodded at her bandages. "Want me to heal them?" he asked and saw her giving a weak nod after a moment. He got carefully rid of the bandages and looked at the deep cuts that slowly began to bleed again. Only shaking his head he began to lick on the wounds until they had disappeared. "I hope ya know that ya scared the shit outta me," Logan said after he'd let go of her hands. "Why did ya do it in my room?"

"I don't know," Jean replied barely audible and lay back down to pull her legs close. She just stared at the tray on the bedside table without really seeing it.

"Do ya want t'eat or drink something'?" he asked but she shook her head. "Do ya want me t'stay?" Looking at him for a moment, the redhead looked away again but nodded. "'kay," Logan said and tried to get comfortable in the chair again. "Then try t'sleep and we'll deal with everythin' later, okay?"

"Yeah," she replied and closed her eyes again.

Determined not to move until she told him so, he crossed his arms again and watched over her; hoping that there was a way to help her.

Well, we have 35 minutes past midnight and I just finished this chapter after uploading the previous one. Hope you guys enjoyed reading it. Please review!!!