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Wohooo, we've just came back in time from the mall to see Hugh in Password Swordfish. My day is saved. LOL God, he's so hot in this one. (drools) Okay, I guess the movie is called Sword fish only in the US, right? Well, Germany added Password, since they obviously think we are too dumb to understand Swordfish only….. And thankfully I don't have to watch this dubbed German version here. God, this one sucks big time… I love Hugh's voice and I absolutely hate the one he's in Germany…

But one thing is funny. LOL In Germany Halle's breast are exposed and here she wears a bikini. LOL And Hugh says "Forget you" instead of "Fk you"?! Jeez…. It's the same with "Holy shit" in X2 that was replaced by a loud sigh of him. It's really funny that those things are not aired on US TV…. O-O And why did they speed up the explosion scene of Swordfish??

Repairing what's lost

Even after ten more minutes Logan sat crossed-legged next to the redhead, who stared at the cast on her wrist, and waited. He knew his demand to talk must have shocked her, if not even scared her to death. But thinking about what the woman had been about to do again was pushing his determination not to give up this time. He wanted her to talk and she wouldn't leave his rooms before she did so. "So?" he asked and crossed his arms while he leant back against his pillows.

Jean looked up through red and swollen eyes from crying and turned her head away again. She was still too confused, unsure of what to do. "I…"

"Yes, ya can!" he cut her off. "Jean I'm sick of stoppin' and rescuin' ya from killin' yourself. I want ya to talk!"

"I know…," she said in despair and buried her face in her hands. "But I can't…"

"Ya won't!" Logan replied in a stern voice. "Ya won't because ya too afraid of goin' through all that shit again, but guess what? Ya have to! There's no way around it!" He held her gaze when she looked up again and reached out to wipe her tears away. "It stays between us. I won't tell anyone except ya want me to, ya know that." He heard her heaving a deep breath and watched how she curled up next to him. "Let's start with how ya got t'know this fucker. Where did ya meet him?"

Desperate and feeling like she'd been caught in a trap with no way out, Jean shook her head and buried her hair in her hands. She was shaking and felt miserable, trapped like a rabbit with the big bad wolf in front of its hole. "In a bar…," she finally whispered and closed her eyes tightly when the memories returned.

"A bar in New York City?" Logan asked and received a weak nod. "And?"

"What?" she asked and raised her head a bit.

"Well, how did ya get t'know him?" he said and shrugged. He switched his gaze briefly over to Julian, who had turned in his bed.

"I sat at the bar and drank something," Jean said in a monotonous voice that made her sound like a machine. "He asked me if the seat next to me was taken and I said no… So he sat down next to me." Her hand reached up to wipe her tears away and she paused for a moment. "We talked and…" She heaved a deep breath and shrugged. "Well, he was charming and nice…"

"So ya went with him?" Logan asked and shook his head when she nodded. "And I guess ya slept with him?"

"Yeah…," Jean said ashamed and looked down, but became angry when she noticed his look. "As if you have never done this!"

"I know…," he said. "But havin' a one night stand as a woman is much more dangerous than as a man."

"Not if you're with a guy…," she mumbled and he cocked an eyebrow at her.

"I ain't fuckin' guys, Jean," he grunted and shook his head. "So what then. Ya went with him, ya slept with him…and then?"

Jean sighed and curled up again. "Well, he was asleep when I got dressed. I went over to the door when he suddenly grabbed me," she went on and shut her eyes tightly again. Before she could say anything else, she bit her lip hard and Logan could tell that it was hard for her. Not knowing what else he could do to support her, he reached out and took her hand into his. "He just…," she began and shook her head; unable to say it.

"He just what?" he asked her in a soft voice and heard Jean heaving a deep, shaky breath.

"He told me I wouldn't go anywhere. I told him I'd to go but he only smiled and…," she went on. "I used my powers against him when he dragged me back. As soon as he crashed into the wall I ran… My car was only a few blocks away, so I went into that direction." Jean looked into Logan's eyes and bit her lip hard again. He furrowed his brows when he saw the pain and fear within her emerald pools. "I was suddenly grabbed and pinned to a wall in an alley nearby. He held a knife to my throat and threatened to cut it when I tried to fight against him. I was so scared…," she sobbed and closed her eyes again. "I could only beg him to not kill me and said I wouldn't tell anyone if he'd just let me go… But he only gave a laugh and dragged me back to his apartment…"

"What did he do?" Logan asked and squeezed her hand encouragingly.

"I can't…," she cried and curled up even more; covering her head with her hands.

Hearing her beginning to sob, Logan knew what must have happened afterwards but he needed her to say it out loud. "Jean...," he said in a calm voice and pulled one hand away from her head to have a better look at her. "What happened then?" he asked but she shook her head. "Ya need t'say it!"

"He beat me up," Jean sobbed and had trouble to catch her breath again.

"And?" he asked knowingly. "Say it!"

"I can't!" she cried.

"Yes! Ya can!" Logan gave back. "Say it, damn it!"

"Fine, he raped me, so what?!" she nearly yelled at him and began to cry even harder after realizing what she's just done. Her whole body shook under her heavy sobs and she felt how he began to stroke over her back.

"Did he do it once?" he asked her calmly and saw her shaking her head. "How often did he do it on that day?"

"I don't know…," she mumbled and tried to heave deep breaths, which only made her cough. "I only wanted him to just kill me…"

Nodding, he thought about what he has heard so far. He could perfectly picture it in his head. He'd seen people like this Richard guy too often and asked himself again why people fell for guys like him? At the same time he didn't understand why women were easily falling for him. He actually looked like someone who was capable of doing such things to a woman. He wasn't a clean-cut guy, he didn't look nice and rather animal like and most people changed the sidewalk when he was on it. But still he had no problem at all to get a woman into his bed. Even some men had tried to persuade him to spend a night with them, but of course he wouldn't do that. Looking at the picture of misery next to him, Logan knew that she was really done for today. But still he wanted her to go on. "So ya were too scared to run away again, right?" he asked knowingly and she nodded. "But… What happened when 'Ro and I visited ya? Why did he beat ya up?"

"Because I cooked noodles and he wanted something to eat," she replied and he cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Hold on… He beat ya up because ya cooked noodles?" he asked again and she nodded. "I thought he was hungry?!"

"Yeah," Jean said in a hoarse voice. "He was pissed because I cooked such a crap, as he called it… He wanted real food…"

"Noodles are real food," Logan remarked still unable to believe what he's just heard.

"It's been my fault," he heard her saying and cocked another eyebrow at her. "I came back from food shopping and he wanted me to tidy up. If I hadn't said that he could have done because he was at home the whole time thought… I knew what he's like when he's drunk…" Jean shook her lip and bit her lower lip hard. "I provoked him by refusing to tidy up after he'd pushed the pot with the noodles from the stove. If I hadn't…"

"Do ya even hear what you're sayin'?!" he asked her angrily. "It's NOT your fault, Jean! Ya had every right to tell him these things! So stop blamin' yourself for it!" He gave her a pissed look, which mad her look away. "What happened then?" he grunted and looked once more at Julian.

"At night… Well, he wanted to sleep with me…," she said barely audible.

"But ya didn't want to, right?" he asked and she shook her head still crying. "So he forced ya…"

Nodding, she heaved another deep breath. "He just pinned me to the mattress and did it… He didn't care about that he hurt me…," she told him. "I just wanted to go away. So I waited for him to fall asleep and grabbed my most important things, but… Well, the door was locked."

"Why didn't ya use your powers?" Logan asked and furrowed his brows. He'd seen what she could do with them.

"I tried," Jean cried and shook her head. "I tried but it didn't work… And then he was suddenly there and threw a vase at me. He was so angry… I really… I really thought he would kill me that day…" Beginning to cry again when the memories overwhelmed her, she buried her face in her hands. "He'd never been that mad with me before…"

"But why didn't ya go with 'Ro and the Furball? They said that fucker wasn't at home when they visited ya…"

"I wanted to, but I couldn't," she said with a look at him and shook her head. "I was too scared that…that he was close by and…"

"But ya could have come with me," Logan replied and held her gaze. "I'd have protected ya!" He frowned when she remained silent and just looked away. Thinking that she hadn't had an answer, he ran a hand through his face and hair. "So… Why did ya look even worse after we came to get ya?"

"He thought I'd been sleeping with you…," Jean replied barely audible and he furrowed his brows. "He must have seen you leaving the apartment…"

Thinking hard and trying to remember if someone had walked past him on his way out, Logan suddenly nodded. "Right…," he said and she looked up. Seeing that another tissue was soaked he gave her a new one. "Tall, muscular guy, dark hair, mean eyes…?" he asked and she nodded. "Yeah, we ran into each other… Damn…," he cursed and wished he would have paid more attention to scents. He was sure he would have figured that he was the bad guy and would have made sure that this asshole wouldn't have touched her again… "What did he do after I was gone?"

"He accused me of being a whore and that I was sleeping around behind his back…," Jean said and wiped her tears away once more just to feel how new ones ran down her cheeks again. "He was drunk again and just began to beat me even if I told him that nothing happened," she said and sighed. By now she was becoming way too tired. "I accidentally called him a bastard when he threw me to the ground. It was enough to make him snap." She sobbed and closed her eyes again. "He became furious and pinned me to the ground, saying that he would show me who the boss was…"

Logan was mad. The fury within her was more than mirrored on his face by now and he just wanted to grab her, drive back to that apartment and kill that guy. He would make sure that this asshole would suffer before he would kill him… "Why were ya with that other guy a bit later? I heard him sayin' somethin' about havin' paid money for ya…"

Trying to calm her breathing again, Jean paused for a moment. "I was in the kitchen when that man said he would even pay money for having me once… I couldn't believe that Richard would agree on that. He wanted 100 dollar for me…"

"So ya just went with that guy?" Logan asked in disbelief.

"He forced me to do it," she cried and looked at him through pleading eyes. "I told him I didn't want it, but he said either I'd go with him or he would call his friend and he would have me right here… He just pushed me into this guy's arms and he dragged me with him…"

Sighing, he shook his head and squeezed the back of his nose. "How often was he drunk?"

"I don't know…," Jean replied barely audible and blew her nose. "First he drank a bit but it became more and more and then he was drunk nearly every day… He got mad when there wasn't any alcohol in the house…" Sniffing, she sat up to make it easier for herself to breathe. "I'm tired…," she said in a weak voice and gave him a pleading look.

Sitting up, too, he nodded. "Just one more thing, okay?" Logan said in a gentle voice and watched how he lowered her head. "Two actually…"

"What?!" she asked at the edge of her patience and buried her hands in her hair with a loud sigh.

"How often did he rape ya?" he asked her straight ahead. "Honestly!"

"I don't know…," Jean said and gave him an odd look. "Does it matter?!"

"Yeah it does!" he gave back. "How often, Jean?"

Sighing in annoyance, she shrugged. "When he felt like it…"

Logan rolled his eyes. "That means?"

"Four to six times a week…," she finally whispered and he bent forward to have a better look on her. "Sometimes more, sometimes less… It always depended on his mood…"

"Why did ya never ask for help?!" he asked her shocked. "Or better how can ya say it's your fault?!"

"Because it is!" Jean said aloud and angrily. "I am a damn teke and telepath and I couldn't do a fucking thing against him! So it is my fault!" Heaving deep breaths and seeing how surprised Logan was about her sudden outburst, she shook her head and began to sob heavily. "I'm worthless…," she mumbled. "I'm exactly what he said… A worthless, ugly thing…"

"You're not!" Logan said in a stern voice and cupped her face. "You're neither worthless nor ugly, ya hear me?! Don't even start believin' this shit!"

Looking back at him with empty eyes, Jean shook her head. "I am…"

"Stop this!" he hissed and made her look at him again. "You're beautiful! Next t'Ro you're the most beautiful woman here!" He watched how she bit her lip and lowered her head while she shook it. "Yes, ya are!" he said once more and heard her sniffing. Pulling her close, he stroked over her hair and back and heaved a deep breath. "You're tired," Logan said in a calm voice and pushed her gently down onto the bed. He gave her a weak smile and wiped her tears away. "I'm proud of ya…"

"For what?" Jean sniffed and watched how he began to tuck her in.

"That ya finally talked," he replied and moved over to his side when he noticed her look. "I said I won't tell anyone except ya want me to, Jean. So don't worry…" After making sure that his son was still asleep, Logan gave her one last look. "Ya alright?" he asked and waited for her to nod before he switched off the lights. "'kay… Then let's sleep," he said and tried to get comfortable. Listening to the dark voice that was raging within the back of his mind for minutes, he swore to himself that if he ever ran into that bastard he would make sure that only one of them survived…

Okay, three chapters in two days. LOL I am currently on page 10 of Changes and figured that the scenes I picked are not enough to fill the whole chapter. So I have to come up with some more. Anyway, thanks to the reviewers!!! Please review this one here, too! See ya!