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Repairing what's lost

After she had put the receiver back down Ororo had gone on a search for Jean. This one had finally led her to her friend's room door. Carefully, she reached out and knocked on it. Since there wasn't any audible reply she just went inside and found the redhead sobbing in her bed. Ororo remained at the door for a moment after closing it and began to ask herself what could have upset Jean so much. She hadn't seen her crying in the past months. Of course she couldn't tell what the woman was doing at night… "Jean…," she said calmly and went over to sit down next to her. She put a hand on the woman's shaking back and began to stroke over it. "Hey, what's wrong all of a sudden?" she asked and furrowed her brows.

In the mall Logan still looked for Julian. It had taken him a few minutes to isolate all the scents from each other, but as soon as he had picked up on the boy's he followed the trace quickly; not caring that he shouldered people out of his way while he did so. He let out a relieved sigh when he saw the boy standing at a shop window and narrowed his eyes in anger. About to give him a sermon he watched how Julian turned around.

"Ah!" the boy made and pointed at one of the puppies behind the window.

"A dog-person, eh?" Logan smirked and forgot about the sermon when he gave the puppies a look. "Good for ya." Grabbing the boy, he pulled him up again but Julian gave a loud protest and reached out to the dogs again. "What do ya want, kid?" Logan grunted and saw the tears in the eyes of his son. "You've already seen them, so what?" he asked annoyed but put the boy back down who ran back to the window.

"Jean…," Ororo sighed and pulled her friend closer. "I'm sorry… I should have known that this movie would upset you… God, I'm sorry." Stroking over her friend's back, she leant into her a bit. "Selfish me…"

"It's not your fault," Jean sniffed and ran a hand through her face. "I should have said something… I'm pathetic."

Letting go of her to give her a look from aside, Ororo shook her head. "You're not! Look, you have been through so much bad stuff in the past months. You've every right to start crying when you feel like it," she told her and stroked lightly over her hair. "You're doing so well lately."

"No, I don't," the redhead sobbed.

"Yes, you do!" her friend gave back. "When we brought you back here, you hardly said more than one word. And now you are really talking again," she said and smiled encouragingly at Jean. "You're trying to have a normal life again…"

Getting up with a weak laugh, the redhead shook her head. "I'm not trying," she said aloud. "I can't try!"

Ororo watched how she walked over to the window and wrapped her arms around herself. Even if she tried, she didn't understand what she'd just meant. "What do you mean? You can't try?" she asked and turned around to have a better look at her.

"I…," Jean began sobbing and bit her lip hard. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "It's…not trying… It's just…," she tried to explain. "It's like trying to survive an impossible situation day after day again. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I keep on ending up at a dead end…"

"I still don't understand, Jean," Ororo replied and shook her head. "I mean… After you moved out of Logan's room, you hid there for weeks. We hardly ever saw you leaving it. And now…"

"And now I can't even leave the mansion, I'm scared if the phone rings, I think Richard is behind the next door with a knife or gun in his hands," Jean cried aloud and sat down on the ground to pull her legs close, sobbing. "I can't leave the room without being scared to death. And then that movie about men being nice and stuff…" She shook her head and looked at Ororo. "They are not!"

"Jean," her friend sighed and got up to sit down on the ground next to her. "Not all men are the same as Richard. I mean…what he did to you was far beyond terrible and I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. But not every man wants to hurt you…"

"I can't trust them anymore…," the redhead sobbed. "Not any one of them…"

"But you trusted Logan," the woman next to her said and frowned when she noticed the look on Jean's face.

"Especially not him," the redhead said to her surprise.

When Logan finally reached the mansion again and parked the car in the huge garage, he groaned loudly as soon as he stepped out of it. "Why not stickin' t'my ass all day?!" he grunted in complete annoyance. "Or implatin' a radar in my neck?"

Only raising an eyebrow at his outburst, Ororo walked slowly over to him and prayed that the boy wasn't in all those plastic bags because he'd gotten hit by a truck. "Where's Julian?" she asked and watched how one bag after the next landed on the floor in front of her. "Who's supposed to wear all that?" she asked him. "Did you spend all of the Professor's money on clothing?!"

"Nope," she heard him grunting and a box landed in front of her next. "I actually helped him to 10,000 bucks."

"How?" she asked and crossed her arms while her eyes were watching him attentively.

Logan's heard finally reappeared and he shrugged nonchalantly. "By sellin' that kid."

"What?!" Ororo asked aloud and came quickly closer. Since she couldn't see the boy anywhere, she began to fume. "Don't tell me you really did that!" she hissed and the air instantly became colder.

"A couple thought he was cute and told me they couldn't have kids on their own, but wanted one so badly, so…," he shrugged and watched how she began to clench her fists and are her teeth. "I mean… It's 10,000 bucks, 'Ro… Ya can do a lot with it."

"Yes," she said in a strange, menacing low voice. "I'll spend it on your funeral, Logan!"

"Well, at least I'll get a good one, huh?" he teased her and walked around the car to open one of the back doors.

"What's that?" Ororo asked when a small black something jumped out of it, ran over to her and barked. "You bought a puppy?!" she asked him in complete disbelief now and watched how he walked over to the other side of the car. "How can you buy a puppy?" she asked and quickly stepped aside when the little dog began to pee next to her shoes. "That's disgusting!"

"He hates ya," Logan shrugged. "Can't blame him…"

Glaring at him, she looked back at the dog. "You can't just buy a puppy, Logan!"

"Yeah, I can," he nodded and disappeared in the car again. "Chuck knows…," she heard him replying in a muffled voice.

"Great," Ororo cursed and rolled her eyes before she gave the puppy in front of her another look. This one gave her a good look onto its long, pink tongue and waved its tail happily. When she looked up again, a surprised look became visible on her features. "Wonders never cease…," she mumbled when Logan carried the sleeping Julian on his arm and grabbed some of the bags with his free hand.

"Would ya mind?" he asked while walking past her and nodded at the remaining things on the ground.

"Why me?" she asked but began to help him.

"Because this shit was your idea?" Logan mocked and whistled. "Come." Barking the puppy began to run after him. "And besides… Ya wanted me t'buy somethin' for that kid's first birthday and Christmas, and I did. So what?"

"Yes, but not from the Professor's money," Ororo gave back and had trouble to keep up with him.

"My money," he corrected her and entered the elevator.

"You have money?" she asked when the doors closed and couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah…sure. Who did you steal it from?"

Only rolling his eyes, Logan shook his head and exited the elevator again to head for his room. "From my bank account," he grunted and now she laughed for real.

"You don't even work, Logan," Ororo giggled and tried to keep her voice calm because of the baby.

"Ya don't know nothin'," Logan growled and kicked the door to his room open into which the puppy instantly ran to examine it. Dropping the bags to the ground, Logan walked over to the small bed next to his and put Julian carefully down. Ororo watched how he got carefully rid of the boy's shoes and jacket before he tucked him in. Smiling satisfied, she turned to get the rest of the bags; seeing her aim accomplished.

The next day turned out to be a very hot one. The sun stood high in the sky and most students were already at the pool before breakfast to enjoy their holidays. Hank, while reading his newspaper, reached out to search for his cup blindly. Only touching air, lowered the paper and glared at Jubilee when the girl giggled. "Funny!" he said and pulled his cup over to the correct side again, as something else caught his attention. "Dear God…," he gasped and made also Kitty, Ororo and Jubilee turn their heads towards the door. "Unbelievable!"

"He's impossible!" Ororo groaned and looked at Julian again, who looked back at all of them with his big hazel eyes. "He was supposed to buy him clothing and not his own ones just in a smaller size…"

"I think he looks cute," Rogue smiled and earned an agreeing nod from Jubilee.

"Like a small Wolvie," Kitty purred and laughed when Julian was nearly ran over by his puppy. "And who's that?"

"Logan's puppy," Ororo told them and shook her head once more about the boy in his blue jeans, white wife beater and red unbuttoned jean-shirt. "Unbelievable…" She gave Hank, who had suddenly started to laugh, a look.

"I'm sorry," he said during his strong laughter and wiped a tear out of his left eye. "But he looks like Logan after having been stuck in a too hot washing machine." Seeing that the other only stared at him as if he was out of his mind, his laughter died and he cleared his throat. "Never mind…," he mumbled and pulled the newspaper up again.

"You mean…," Jubilee said while chewing her cereals and eying Julian, who played with the puppy. "….like a shrunk Wolvie?" Picturing it in her head, she began to laugh aloud.

"Stupid," Ororo commented her and paid attention to the boy again. "Julian?" she said and made the boy look up. "Where's your daddy?"

"He doesn't know that word, 'Ro!" Hank said and put down his newspaper again, just to see that the boy pointed at the door. "Never mind…"

It didn't take long and the adult version of the shrunken-Wolvie came inside; looking as grumpy and moody as ever. "Let me guess…," Ororo said and watched him instantly walking over to the fridge. "…doggy peed on your carpet?"

"Nope," he grunted and pulled the orange juice out of it.

"Your clothes?" she guessed further but he shook his head again, while he filled Julian's sippy cup and his big mug with the juice.

"Actually…," Logan replied and turned towards her. "He pooped."

"Onto the carpet?" Ororo asked.

"No, better!" he said and Rogue could easily tell that he was amused. "Right in front of your door."

"What?!" the weather goddess shrieked and jumped off of her stool. "No!"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "I told ya he hates ya." Chuckling, he watched how she stormed out of the room.

"That wasn't nice," Hank scolded him but couldn't hide that he was amused, too. "You could have at least told her that you already cleaned it up," he added and suddenly became serious. "I mean…at least I hope you did."

"Yeah," Logan smirked and pulled Julian onto a stool to serve him breakfast. "Stop goin' on my nerves, kid!" he warned him when the boy touched his arms.

"What's his name?" Rogue asked and watched how Kitty cuddled with the small, black Labrador retriever.

Shrugging, Logan gave Julian a nod. "He calls him Po."

"Po?" Kitty laughed. "Doesn't that mean… Hold on… Butt in German?"

"Yeah," he nodded and began to eat his pancakes.

"Well, he needs a name," Rogue said and stroked over the puppy's head. "We find a name for you, sweety." She smiled at the dog and looked back at Logan.

"Are you joining us at the pool?" Jubilee asked him and received another shrug. "You are not very nice today, Wolvie."

Despite giving the girl a shrug, Logan sat in his black shorts under a tree later the day and watched the kids in the pool from afar. While he did so, he began to ask himself if Hank even needed sun blocker, and if he did, what the fur would look like. Shrugging the thought off, he crossed the arms behind his head and leant back against the tree with closed eyes.

"Instead of playing with his son… he has a sunbath." Ororo shook her head and pulled her sunglasses up again. Her eyes kept on watching over Julian, who followed the puppy and was too close to the pool for her taste. "God, if he falls into it…"

"He won't!" Hank tried to soothe her and kept on reading his book. "But I agree that Logan could show a bit more affection."

"Affection?" she laughed. "The only things he shows affection to are beer, cigars and fights." Hearing how Julian suddenly began to cry aloud, she sat up and lowered her sunglasses. About to run to aid hi, she was held back.

"Wait!" Hank said and nodded into the direction of the boy when she'd turned to him. Surprised she watched how Logan had gotten up and was now kneeling next to his crying son. "As I've told you yesterday," he said in a hushed voice and led go of her arm. "The knowledge alone that the child is his should awake feelings in him. He's not as cold hearted as you think."

"I don't know…," Ororo said but watched from afar how Logan had pulled Julian close and was stroking over his back and through the messy hair. "He's too reckless to be a good father…"

"You hurt?" Logan asked and stroked over the bleeding knee while the boy held onto him and sniffed dramatically. After receiving a nod, he pulled him up and walked over to Ororo, who gave him a rather surprised look. "Hey, do ya have a plaster?"

"Ehm….sure," she replied and began to rummage in her small bag, while Logan placed Julian onto the lounger next to her. "Here."

Taking it from her, he cleaned the wound and put the plaster onto it. "See? Like new," Logan grunted and got up again. Looking at the colorful thing on his knee, Julian looked back up and reached out.

"He wants you to pull him up again, Logan," Ororo commented it saw how the man rolled his eyes in annoyance, but did it. She couldn't stop herself from smiling at Hank before she looked back at the man. "You're stuck with him," she shrugged and pulled her sunglasses up again; smirking about the fact that Julian held onto Logan for dear life and leant into him.

"Yeah, and that's your fault!" Logan grunted and shot her a glare.

"Be so nice and give him something to drink, will you?" she purred and handed him the sippy cup.

"Why me?!" the man growled and grabbed the cup a bit too roughly out of her hand.

"He's your child, Logan," Hank lectured him and turned a page in his books on genetics. "Your blood. The two of you are connected and you can't change that…"

"Whatever," Logan grunted and stamped off.

Inside the kitchen he put Julian onto the counter and opened the fridge to pull the juice out of it. "Juz," the boy said and reached out to him impatiently. "Juz!"

"Can ya wait?" Logan asked annoyed and handed him the sippy cup, which the boy took happily. "Kids… A pain in the ass." After he had poured himself a cold drink and had leant back against the fridge, he looked aside when his nose picked up on a familiar scent. A few seconds later Jean entered the kitchen and gave him a rather shocked look. "Hey," Logan said in a soft voice and gave her a small smile.

"Hey," she greeted back but it appeared to him rather forced and being polite only.

"Why are ya not comin' outside with us?" he asked but she shook her head. "Why not? The weather's great." Walking past him, she got a soda out of the fridge and decided to drink it on the other side of the counter. "C'mon," Logan went on and put his empty glass away. "Ya don't have t'stay with the others, sit down under the tree with me."

"I don't know…," Jean replied without looking at him and quickly pulled her shirt down when it showed a bit of her belly.

Only giving her a look, Logan pulled Julian down after refilling his cup and took Jean's hand next to just pull her with him. He really was sick of her hiding in her rooms and avoiding people.

"There…," Ororo said and saw from the corner of her eye that Hank pulled down his book. "Almost like a family, huh?" she asked and still thought about the things Jean had said about Logan before.

When he reached the tree again, Logan sat down and patted the spot next to him. Feeling rather trapped, Jean reluctantly did it and pulled her legs close, just to stare at Julian next. "He wants ya to take the cup," Logan informed her.

"Cup," the boy replied and still held it towards Jean, who reached out and took it from him. Smiling at her, the boy turned and ran back to the puppy, while she put the cup down.

Watching the boy from afar, Logan gave the woman next to her a look. "Why are ya afraid of him?" he asked her in a gentle voice.

"I'm not," Jean replied and hugged her legs.

"Then what?" he asked next and turned around a bit. Looking at her from aside, he rested his arms on his legs and waited for a reply. "Do ya feel bad because you've never been there for him?" he asked carefully and was surprised that she gave him a brief glare.

"You've left him, too," she said rather coldly and looked away again.

Logan furrowed his brows. It had clearly been an accusation from her side. "I didn't know you've been pregnant with my kid, Jean," he replied and shook his head, but she only shrugged.

"You wouldn't have cared anyway…," she mumbled and kept her eyes fixed on the blanket.

Only able to cock an eyebrow at her, Logan narrowed his eyes. "What's that supposed t'mean?" he asked her rather pissed.

Ororo in the meanwhile smiled at Julian and pulled him onto her lap. Making use of her chance that the boy had stopped running around like a maniac for a while, she put new crème onto his skin and placed a kiss onto his cheek. "Euw," the boy made and wiped it off.

"Yeah…," she sighed with a look at Hank. "Clearly his father…"

Laughing, Hank shook his head. "As charming as our feral friend, hm?"

"Precisely!" she nodded and handed Julian the ball again. "Ask daddy if he plays with you." Watching how the boy looked at the ball and then back at her, she pointed at Logan. "Go to daddy." Ororo let go of him and watched satisfied how the boy, followed by the puppy, ran back to the tree.

"If he finds out that you taught him the word," Hank mumbled and shook his head before looking at his book again.

"Then what?!" Ororo asked and leant back again. "He's the daddy and can't change that anymore."

"Still…."

"No, no, no!" she waved off. "I made him go shopping with his son and I will also manage to make him cuddle with his son, hug his son and do anything else a father should do and if it's the last thing I do!"

Looking at her, he nodded. "It will be the last thing you do if he finds out you taught Julian to call Logan daddy!" Hank remarked.

"Are ya nuts?!" Logan asked the redhead aloud and sat up until he knelt right next to her. "I didn't left ya! Ya left me!"

Hearing it, Jean gave him a speechless look. "You were gone on the next morning," she went on and was clearly angered. Unable to hold his intense gaze she bit her lip and looked away; suddenly looking hurt. "I should have known you only wanted sex from me…," she mumbled and shook her head.

Still staring at her as if she had lost her mind, but figuring that she really meant what she'd said, Logan gave a short laugh in disbelief. "Is that what ya think it has meant to me?!" he asked her angered. "A quick fuck in an elevator?"

"Well, it hasn't been me that was suddenly gone on the next morning," Jean gave back through clenched teeth, and refused to look at him and give him the satisfaction of having made her cry. "I should have known…," she added in a whisper and got up; unable to stand his presence anymore.

"Jean!" Logan called and got up too after trying to grab her by the hand to follow her. He'd nearly reached her when Julian suddenly stood in front of him and held up the ball.

"Daddy," he said and looked up at the man, who ignored him.

"Jean!" Logan called once more, but the redhead was already in the mansion. Feeling how the boy began to pull on his shorts, he growled. "What?!" he snapped angrily and only saw how Julian made a step back, before he began to pull a face and ran back to Ororo crying. "Shit!" Logan sighed and closed his eyes to run a hand through his face. Being torn between talking to Jean and soothing the boy before Ororo would unleash her wrath on him, he decided that Julian was more important right now. Kneeling down, he picked up the ball and walked over to the pool.

Ororo, who tried to soothe the crying boy on her lap, glared at him when he came closer. "How can you snap at a child, Logan?" she began her sermon, which he ignored.

Instead he reached out to stroke over his son's trembling back. He met the boy's swollen eyes and gave him an apologetic look. Still sobbing, Julian reached out to him and Logan pulled him close after sitting down on the ground. "I'm sorry," he apologized and rocked the boy slowly back and forth, while Ororo still went on with her sermon. "I'm sorry," Logan mumbled in a calm voice and wiped the tears from his son's face. Looking into those hazel and sad pools, he really began to feel bad. Before he could even think about it, he had placed a gentle kiss on the child's forehead, which made Ororo stop instantly in mid-sentence and exchange a confused and surprised look with Hank. "Wanna play?" he asked and held up the ball.

"Ya," Julian sniffed and rubbed his still wet eyes.

"C'mon," Logan said and got up after putting him down.

"How can you just snap at him? I really don't get it!" Ororo asked him after she had gotten over her shock.

"Blame Jean!" he grunted and took the child's hand.

"No, I blame you!" she gave back and made him roll his eyes. She watched how he walked back over to the tree with the boy and knelt down in the grass. "How can he snap at him first and play with him next?" Ororo asked Hank. "He's so impossible! If my hair wasn't already white, it would be now thanks to him."

Chuckling, Hank shook his head. "Well, at least he does play with him, don't you think?"

Sighing, she pulled her glasses up again and leant back. "Never mind…," she mumbled and closed her eyes.

Sorry that it took me a while to upload this one. I was busy with baby sitting the two year old and putting up the new Changes chapter. LOL

An announcement from me: Descena had the idea to write a story together. We are working on one and really hope you guys will read and review it! Up to now we still have to think about a title. But the story already has two chapters and we are currently working on chapter 3. So, if you see DarkPhoenixRising-Descena, it's us. LOL Please review and thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter. I'd be happy if you'd do that again! See ya!!