AfroKenji- thanks bro, I was kind of frustrated with the lack of expansion on the character in the canon story and just about everywhere else on here, so I decided to write about him myself. I'm doing a crossover next, but I'll definitely keep your suggestion to use him later on in the front of my mind! Onto the story peeps!

Chapter 3: Divine Mischief

The atmosphere in the clubroom was rather tense for the devils. The leaders of both the angel and fallen angel factions had amassed under their roof, and to make matters worse, both of them were strong enough to wipe out hundreds of high class devils without breaking a sweat, but that wasn't the worst thing about it. How was God going to "reward" them!?

Azazel, sensing the tension in the air and Akeno glaring daggers at his back, pondered about defusing the room but quickly resigned when his father raised his aura pressure (that was essentially the way he said "don't speak unless spoken to." Geez, the only other shitty geezer he disliked more was Odin.) God, being the jolly entity he was, was the first to speak.

"As promised, I've brought your subordinate back unharmed, free of impurities, and I intend to reward you all hastily as well for letting me borrow her." He spoke with the air of a polite gentleman who meant no harm, although if they knew the chronicles of his brief time on earth, they wouldn't be so quick to accept the gratitude. Rias seemed unsure of what to say, but assumed her role as the leader in short figure.

"God, sir, your holiness, how exactly do you intend to reward us devils, your mortal enemies?" Rias speech was a bit shaky, but clearly dignified enough to pass her off as royalty. Azazel, too disengaged to care, pulled out his artificial sacred gear earlier (that God had shook him down for on the way here then punished him with a "holy" wedgie) and donned his balance breaker suit. This gave the illusion of him listening intently, as the suit itself sat upright and sturdy, but Azazel himself had long fallen asleep inside of it after his father raised his aura. The Lord let this slide, as it was the same thing he would do when in a meeting with the other religions' chief deities. Sporting a winning smile, God answered Rias' question.

"I'm just going to give you guys' strengths a boost" he said with all the sincerity he could muster. The devils, confused at the vague answer, sat silently. Suddenly, they felt certain things about them changing. Rias' clothing began to shapeshift, until she found herself sporting a school swimsuit that emphasized all of her curves. Akeno's clothing had shapeshifted into something extremely similar to Raynare's fallen angel outfit, which was no doubt S&M inspired. Koneko began to grow until she had a figure that matched Rias', and her cat appendages sprouted from their locations. Kiba… turned into a girl.

"EHH!?" was all the members of the Occult Research Club, except the pleasantly surprised Akeno, could respond with. God, still holding the same cheesy grin he had given them prior to initiating their rewards, explained himself. "You see, you guys are all attractive even by supernatural standards, so I just played to your strengths." He went on, clearly proud of his trolling. "Miss Rias is the president every guy fawns over, so to see her in a school swimsuit would just melt their brains. Miss Akeno is popular among a very specific group of people who don't mind getting stepped on, miss Koneko's neko power will only be amplified by her new hot bod, and the pretty-boy… I just did that for fun." He added one final bit of information. "Oh yeah, these "boosts" will last until the end of your first semester of this year."

The devils, realizing that their semester had only begun just a few days ago, were prepared to retort, but God and his wayward, sleeping son had already vanished. Left to ponder over how they were going to deal with this, they all said their peace.

"… He just played us, big-time" Koneko said in a monotone voice, though she silently went on in her head, "but I don't exactly hate what he did to my chest though…"

"You mean to tell me I have to go to school every day, for the rest of the semester, LIKE THIS!?" Rias practically yelled. She wasn't shy about her beauty and had no problem flaunting her body every now and again, but exposing herself for months on end to total strangers was a bit much.

"Only God knows how screwed I am… wait, that bastard!" Kiba said in his (her?) new girly voice, noticing the double meaning in the sentence that he/she just formulated.

"Ara Ara, I don't see the problem here" Akeno said, clearly aroused at the thought of punishing all the lechers who would leer at her because of this outfit and hearing their squeals. "It's never bad to have just a little bit of fun."

(Elsewhere)

Issei was in the classic "lap pillow" position, laying on Raynare. They had made up, with Raynare assuming her Yuuma form and telling Issei that all he had seen was in fact real. She had genuine feelings for him now, as he readily accepted her apology and even wanted to go out with her again sometime. That is why she struggled not to move, as she was somehow now completely naked! It had happened only a few moments ago around the time she felt an energy spike towards Issei's school, but she hadn't realized what that was until she felt Issei's breathing a little too much on her skin.

"Just my luck, going commando in a park alone with a horny teenager… though, if it's with him, maybe…" she pondered such thoughts, until she saw the leader of the Grigori and the leader of the angels flying over her head. She had noticed them because of the masked-but-still-there aura they gave off. She couldn't but wonder, did they notice her?

"So, did you like the show?" God questioned Azazel in a cheeky manner. Azazel responded in kind.

"You mean at the Gremory's territory? Yeah, sure." Azazel had been asleep, but he woke up just in time to see the bizarre spectacle that his father had caused in his conscious absence. They didn't call the guy a "miracle worker" for nothing in their religion.

"No not that, I meant down there" the Lord said, pointing directly below them. Azazel, already having gotten an idea of where he had got that revealing outfit from that he put on the half-fallen, obliged and looked down. There he saw the completely naked Raynare, with the only thing keeping her modest being Issei's sleeping body. Azazel, being a natural trouble maker himself, felt a slight trickle of pride coming from the lineage of such a troll.

"You know, it's mean to pick on my subordinates like that, dad."

"Just admit you like it, boyo. There's a reason you keep her around and that's so you won't have to keep any porn mags around too." Azazel, having been defeated, just sighed and asked about miscellaneous.

"So dad, besides "getting to know" that rather busty Valkyrie, what else are you going to do?"

"… Sleep I guess, even though I don't need it, it's nice to just have peace and quiet for a while, that's the whole reason I disappeared." With that, they flew undetected to their respective resting places. God to a holy shrine directly below his Gates of Heaven, and Azazel to the Grigori V.I.P. quarters. Unbeknownst to the deity, he wasn't the only troll there that night.

(God's Resting Place, The Next Morning)

Waking up from his slumber, God summoned his celestial strength and hopped out of bed, but not before stepping on a whoopee cushion that released fire as hot as the sun's surface. Of course, being God, he could negate it without a problem. Picking up the cushion, or rather, levitating it, he read what he had hoped not to.

"Dear onii-san,

You already know who this is from. Me and Great Red just wanted to share the love brother. Enjoy our little gift, we really hope you "warm up" to it!

Sincerely, Us"

"Good grief, those two cause me nothing but headaches." Putting on his robes and heading for the door, he decided that the only thing that could remedy him was that perfect pair of jugs that he had sought ever since he learned of her. "It's time to go to Asgard!"