p data-p-id="56f01e8599dd1f58b35d1bc536d36e2d"emPhil's POV /em/p
p data-p-id="3a6c10efc5cfb074b903bbd305edb53a"strong-September 1st 2015-/strong/p
p data-p-id="77e2f214f62dc83e17bd862b34bf8d1a"I rub my eyes sleepily, lazily dragging all my luggage behind me hearing student's footsteps echoing all around me, but due to how much I slept in the train I don't really pay much attention to my surroundings, still wrapped in the cocooning warmth of my sleep./p
p data-p-id="054a6c22efa8b106136f367ad0ab5ffc"It's crazy that this is my last year here, and all though I should be happy that school is nearly over, I'm absolutely terrified. I have no idea what is going to come after, I have some ideas but nothing seems perfect, nothing seems to fit exactly and that scares me because if I can't find anything perfect what is my life going to be reduced to? Those are scary thoughts for an eighteen year old./p
p data-p-id="5256807774121412baccc3a3bfaf4218"It seems like yesterday that I was waiting on platform 9 ¾, 11 years old and nervous like I had never been before. Since then a lot has changed, not all good. I've figured so much out, about myself and about others. Maybe my biggest accomplishment was coming out as gay to my closest friends two years ago. I had an idea that I was bisexual but it suddenly hit me like a train that it was more than that, and more important, and certainly ten times scarier. Everyone was supportive, Mels and Tiffany squealed when I told them, apparently they love gay people, I don't think I'll ever understand their obsession. Mels and Tiffany... well their friendship got thrown down the drain when Mels screamed at Tiff that she hated her after she kissed Chris in front of her. That was four months ago and I can't believe they haven't sorted things out yet. It's tiring always being in between them because I can't hang out with both of them at the same time any more. It's so obvious they love each other, I hate the fact that Mels still hasn't taken back her obviously false words and Tiff still thinks she hates her. Sometimes I catch her staring at Mels sometimes, and more than once I've had to hold the two girls in my arms while they cried uncontrollably, heartbroken./p
p data-p-id="a508b8e23cad4437eda8d6a32b6e021a"And then there's emhim. /emDan. I don't know what happened to him, I haven't heard the sound of his voice once, well not addressed to me anyway. Because even though I try my best to ignore his existence like he ignores mine, I still catch myself staring at him during lessons and meals and I hate myself for that. In two days, two short days when he got suddenly called back home by his father, Dan changed completely. Or maybe it was progressive, I really couldn't tell, but I remember the day he came back from his two days like it was yesterday./p
p data-p-id="3b531c69efa4e93898f0122a08627d8f"strong-28th December, 2012-/strong/p
p data-p-id="2e9af41b82e77e440a53fab193c51c2d"I look at my Hello Kitty watch for the thousandth time today and sigh when I see I've been waiting for Dan for 1 hour now and I wonder why I'm still here. Where could that idiot be? He was supposed to meet me at the library after getting back at the school. emMaybe he had to stay longer... /emI wonder with hope./p
p data-p-id="f4b46d62272f0a4e69a194b9a638fd30"With one last pointed look at the door, praying to every god I don't believe in to open the door, I turn back and walk slowly to the dormitories, hugging myself from the frosty cold./p
p data-p-id="5732d3cdc198312c0692c1ed61d795ef"Back in the common room I flop down on the couch in front of the fire while Mels raises an eyebrow at me./p
p data-p-id="0397e783d97fcc4ea20b1d5ef57bc779""What's got you down buddy?" She says, eyeing me curiously./p
p data-p-id="c4c27220ac85f47630d7dbfa1e4e0e45""Dan hasn't come back yet..." I say trailing off and looking in the distance with a dramatic stare. I nearly emfeel /emher rolling her eyes at me./p
p data-p-id="a7cd5e797b421fa45379b6c95857c350""You are so obsessed with him." She says calmly and despite trying not to, my cheeks flush and I protest immediately./p
p data-p-id="987a70311b2968f3fa670d28488318e9""I am not! I just tend to... miss him when he leaves." I suddenly realize how clingy I sound and bury my head in the pillows, mumbling : "I am so obsessed with him..."/p
p data-p-id="a75eedef30ffb87da47b9412ff3d6212"She laughs, ruffling my hair while walking past me./p
p data-p-id="aa2c27adfd8a3649f028455fcd687169""Right well I'm off to bed, try not to dream too much of your crush, you might wake up the other boys..." She trails off and I go to punch her arm but she bursts out laughing and quickly escapes me, running towards the girl's dormitories./p
p data-p-id="3ca63808dabd118b1f3afc90979e6731""He is not my crush!" I shout after her and I hear her laughing at me in the corridor./p
p data-p-id="239d38219d4bfd23a573f1cf2ed6c1ba"I grumble in frustration because damn, there's nothing I can hide from her. Because I, Phil Lester, 15 years old and completely inexperienced in the dating area, am completely crushing on Dan Howell, my best friend of three years./p
p data-p-id="c3b09351b58d8b80317faddfa1cc8dbe"em-the next day-/em/p
p data-p-id="6c834fdac7ad3c1f1d97396f82d975c4"I sit at the long Gryffindor table, nearly biting my nails off with stress./p
p data-p-id="e092b765f87fcb87b44534deb08f37b0""He'll be there, stop worrying!" Tiffany says, gently putting a hand on my shoulder and I notice Mels tense up next to me. There's another thing I have to deal with, these two idiots, who obviously like each other. But the thoughts about my two best friends suddenly vanish when Slytherins start pouring in and just like that, I feel my blood turn cold at what I see. Because Tiff is right, Dan is there but not trailing behind the others like usual, he's walking confidently next to three other guys, laughing along with them. I should be glad that he's made friends but instead I feel sick because the three guys in question are the ones who have been tormenting him for years, the ones that had made him cry, that had broken him. And now he's with them, like they're his best friends./p
p data-p-id="9638266036a3a72c89746cb8bae51a7e"I nearly hiss in anger when they all sit down next to each other, and Mels turns to me in surprise. I don't say anything, just point to the guys and she frowns, obviously just as confused as me./p
p data-p-id="fca73529fc424a4260c0e59ace9b33bb""Why is Dan hanging out with those dicks?!" I whisper-shout at the girls, but they both just give me confused glances, so I go back to observing the subject of my obsession./p
p data-p-id="7ca1dc8fbd5cae7a991e9999cd43cb67"I nearly recoil when he turns his head and catches me staring. His eyes. They're so cold when he looks at me, like he hates me. I gulp and I can't seem to look away as he raises his eyebrows at me and for a second, just for a second, I recognize something of the old Dan in his gaze but just like that, it's gone and he turns his head back to the guys. For the rest of breakfast, I just stare at him, trying my best not to cry like a baby when he doesn't look back at me like he used to./p
p data-p-id="2da966651e1a913cd4816a00ed9dbb9a"He isn't himself any more, he's changes, something happened and now he's changed. Now he isn't my best friend any more and I never will be his. And no matter how much I tell myself that it's ok and that I don't need him, that doesn't stop me from crumbling in tears that night, hurt and upset from a guy I realized too late wasn't just a crush. Hurt by the guy I'm in love with./p
p data-p-id="7887644a57d8dcecee8ab58b6bac4708"strong-Present day-/strong/p
p data-p-id="26397f9b9cf241d71a4730363dcaea49"I shake myself from the dreaded thoughts as I enter the Grand Hall, breathing in the Hogwarts air. There's no point in dwelling on horrid thought. But I miss him, I miss so much, even though it's been 3 years he's still a part of my thoughts. Someone, I can't quite remember who, once told me that I just missed the memory of him and maybe that's true but that doesn't stop how much it hurts every time I think about what he did to me. The rest of that year was hell for me, I cried more tears than in the rest of my life. Because of one stupid guy. I know I'm too needy and I know I get too attached but I can't help it, and I can't help hating the fact that I lost someone so important to me. Every time I come back to that part of my life, I can't help thinking that it was my fault. That I wasn't good enough for him, that I was too clingy, too annoying, just not. Good. Enough. I tried talking to him so many times, and so many times he just looked at me while I rambled with cold eyes then walked away, not saying a word./p
p data-p-id="a04ba88f26eb7d4ca3b8f2578dee1b87"For the second time I shake my head, frustrated at myself for thinking about him again when there's no point. Suddenly energy and happiness courses through me when I think that I'm finally going to see the girls and all my friends again! The first one I spot is Troye, sitting next to Chris and I run over, hugging the two from behind. I plop down in front of them instinctively where I have a view of the Slytherin table./p
p data-p-id="05ede8d65d307627cf0b90527298dfe1""Phil! We missed you so much, how was your summer?" Chris says excitedly, while Troye watches us in delight./p
p data-p-id="291f9ccd0ca2e7b63a733220996988ab""Oh emamazing! /emEven though my mum kept bugging me about the exams ugh, it's not like I'm not going to study, just that studying during summer holidays was made by Satan you know?"/p
p data-p-id="fe0b99eff9244f05f3c049b47d5ef945"Chris laughs and just as I'm about to return the question, I feel a presence next to me and I turn my head slowly. Mels is just standing there, beaming at me and I get up instantly, squealing while hugging her tightly. We haven't been able to see each other all through the summer because she lives so far away, and being my best friend there is a limited amount of days I can live without her. After all the "I've missed you"'s and comments about my hair she sits down next to me, bumping her shoulder with mine playfully./p
p data-p-id="76deec6b9ed132c1b3aaa3bc79c1a152""Have you seen Tiffany yet?" I say, almost regretting it when she shoots me a death glare. Almost./p
p data-p-id="da26bb5a35161c9c6300b4c7245ea207""How would I know?" She mumbles angrily but even I can detect the sadness in her tone./p
p data-p-id="a4ce7fbed726ab5f6735f01e08ae2561"Just then, maybe because I was talking about her, I hear a voice behind me :/p
p data-p-id="65b8c0e021eccf57d9a8ab0b3dd91348""Hey bitch"/p
p data-p-id="e2149cf0389f8e04617a611f0eead057"I turn, a full grin on my lips and throw myself at her. She laughs and gives my cheek a big sloppy kiss before letting me go. I assess the situation between her and Mels and I see the latter glaring at the table. Tiff gulps and, shocking everyone at the table, takes on a determined look and reaches forward, kissing Mels's cheek softly, whispering a hello in her ear./p
p data-p-id="9856c98e940a54c86c759d660d57ba6c"When Tiff goes to sit on my other side, I can feel the tension in the air as Mels just sits there, her mouth slightly ajar and a stunned look on her face. I hold back a laugh and shoot a "I can't believe you just did that" look. She just grins at me and just as I'm about to say something to clear some of the tension, my eye catches on to something else. Or rather someone else. There he is, and even though I hate myself for thinking it, I can see how beautiful he looks just from where I'm sitting./p
p data-p-id="d39e58097202371efd1040dcc1f35e55"Except something's wrong. Because instead of staring right on with confidence and arrogance, this time like I'd seen him do so many times before the two dreaded days, he's walking head down, looking at the floor before taking a seat but not next to his usual "friends". He just takes a random empty chair and sits down, his face in his hands for a moments before rubbing his forehead. I analyse his every movement, looking for a sign, anything to show me that maybe, just maybe he's back. My Dan may be back. I search his eyes but he's rubbing his temples eyes closed./p
p data-p-id="93c1af8e3a9f6ac641961e5910fc1448"And then it happens, he very suddenly looks up, directly at me, not blinking and holds my gaze. From here I can see the bags under his eyes and something that looks like a bruise on the left of his cheekbone. I gulp and he just watches me watching him, his expression tired and hurt. And his eyes, they're not cold, they're warm and welcoming. It feels like we've been looking at each other for hours when very slowly, he blinks, like he's trying to hold back tears and his mouth lifts up in a tight, sad, tentative and very small smile. But it's a smile nonetheless and the I hate the effect it has on me, making my heart beat faster, my palms go sweaty and my eyes fill with tears. It may seem like I'm overreacting but he hasn't looked at me with those eyes, those warm eyes for three years. Three long years and it still has the same effect on me as it had before./p
p data-p-id="c44d6d552a74b05991dd945ad018601a""Hey Phil are you ok...?" I hear Tiff say beside me and I realize that she can probably tell I have tears in my eyes. I nod and try not to let them escape, my gaze still fixed on Dan who is now looking at me like I'm the most interesting person ever./p
p data-p-id="f5fdae273ac330554a18bc2bc59004c9""What happened?" My friend asks again and I turn slowly towards her, my hands slightly shaking, and I let out a breath when Dan's intense gaze is broken from mine./p
p data-p-id="b6f8d1cef18abed564bb48e9271723fb""Dan smiled at me." I whisper, looking at her with a stunned expression. Tiffany smiles slowly but then her smile drops, looking at me with a stern look./p
p data-p-id="172c248dc2722cfe9813e38da8eee5fe""So? That douche hurt you, a smile can't repair what he broke okay? Don't you dare let him in your life again that easily"./p
p data-p-id="fe89525fbac97130cc714eee065271fe"I gulp but nod slowly because I know she's right. 2 years ago I wouldn't have given it a second thought, I would've given him a second chance just like that without even him having to ask but now, after all that's happened, all those nights of crying over him, all that hurt, it's not happening. No matter how many times he smiles at me, how many times he apologizes, how many times he explains, I won't let myself fall for him again. I won't, because if I do, I don't know if this time I'll manage to get back up again. And I can't risk it, because I know that if I give him another chance there is no way I'm going to be able to resist him, there is no way that he won't find a way into my heart again. And this time who knows what he'll do to it./p
p data-p-id="d41d8cd98f00b204e9800998ecf8427e"strong /strong/p
p data-p-id="3818fc167218aa484761e45296871e4a"strongHello hello look who's back :D Did you like this? Tell me what you thought! pleeease :3 This is where the story kind of really starts, this was the plan all along. I'm sorry if I get some things wrong in the Harry Potter universe, even though I absolutely adore the series I am not an absolute expert but feel free to point things out, and when I've finished the whole book I'll edit the whole thing cuz let's be real the first chapters are soo shit. br /strong/p
p data-p-id="8800047fe19433c848c0228ff57ebc25"strongLove ya guys! /strong/p
p data-p-id="3a6c10efc5cfb074b903bbd305edb53a"strong-September 1st 2015-/strong/p
p data-p-id="77e2f214f62dc83e17bd862b34bf8d1a"I rub my eyes sleepily, lazily dragging all my luggage behind me hearing student's footsteps echoing all around me, but due to how much I slept in the train I don't really pay much attention to my surroundings, still wrapped in the cocooning warmth of my sleep./p
p data-p-id="054a6c22efa8b106136f367ad0ab5ffc"It's crazy that this is my last year here, and all though I should be happy that school is nearly over, I'm absolutely terrified. I have no idea what is going to come after, I have some ideas but nothing seems perfect, nothing seems to fit exactly and that scares me because if I can't find anything perfect what is my life going to be reduced to? Those are scary thoughts for an eighteen year old./p
p data-p-id="5256807774121412baccc3a3bfaf4218"It seems like yesterday that I was waiting on platform 9 ¾, 11 years old and nervous like I had never been before. Since then a lot has changed, not all good. I've figured so much out, about myself and about others. Maybe my biggest accomplishment was coming out as gay to my closest friends two years ago. I had an idea that I was bisexual but it suddenly hit me like a train that it was more than that, and more important, and certainly ten times scarier. Everyone was supportive, Mels and Tiffany squealed when I told them, apparently they love gay people, I don't think I'll ever understand their obsession. Mels and Tiffany... well their friendship got thrown down the drain when Mels screamed at Tiff that she hated her after she kissed Chris in front of her. That was four months ago and I can't believe they haven't sorted things out yet. It's tiring always being in between them because I can't hang out with both of them at the same time any more. It's so obvious they love each other, I hate the fact that Mels still hasn't taken back her obviously false words and Tiff still thinks she hates her. Sometimes I catch her staring at Mels sometimes, and more than once I've had to hold the two girls in my arms while they cried uncontrollably, heartbroken./p
p data-p-id="a508b8e23cad4437eda8d6a32b6e021a"And then there's emhim. /emDan. I don't know what happened to him, I haven't heard the sound of his voice once, well not addressed to me anyway. Because even though I try my best to ignore his existence like he ignores mine, I still catch myself staring at him during lessons and meals and I hate myself for that. In two days, two short days when he got suddenly called back home by his father, Dan changed completely. Or maybe it was progressive, I really couldn't tell, but I remember the day he came back from his two days like it was yesterday./p
p data-p-id="3b531c69efa4e93898f0122a08627d8f"strong-28th December, 2012-/strong/p
p data-p-id="2e9af41b82e77e440a53fab193c51c2d"I look at my Hello Kitty watch for the thousandth time today and sigh when I see I've been waiting for Dan for 1 hour now and I wonder why I'm still here. Where could that idiot be? He was supposed to meet me at the library after getting back at the school. emMaybe he had to stay longer... /emI wonder with hope./p
p data-p-id="f4b46d62272f0a4e69a194b9a638fd30"With one last pointed look at the door, praying to every god I don't believe in to open the door, I turn back and walk slowly to the dormitories, hugging myself from the frosty cold./p
p data-p-id="5732d3cdc198312c0692c1ed61d795ef"Back in the common room I flop down on the couch in front of the fire while Mels raises an eyebrow at me./p
p data-p-id="0397e783d97fcc4ea20b1d5ef57bc779""What's got you down buddy?" She says, eyeing me curiously./p
p data-p-id="c4c27220ac85f47630d7dbfa1e4e0e45""Dan hasn't come back yet..." I say trailing off and looking in the distance with a dramatic stare. I nearly emfeel /emher rolling her eyes at me./p
p data-p-id="a7cd5e797b421fa45379b6c95857c350""You are so obsessed with him." She says calmly and despite trying not to, my cheeks flush and I protest immediately./p
p data-p-id="987a70311b2968f3fa670d28488318e9""I am not! I just tend to... miss him when he leaves." I suddenly realize how clingy I sound and bury my head in the pillows, mumbling : "I am so obsessed with him..."/p
p data-p-id="a75eedef30ffb87da47b9412ff3d6212"She laughs, ruffling my hair while walking past me./p
p data-p-id="aa2c27adfd8a3649f028455fcd687169""Right well I'm off to bed, try not to dream too much of your crush, you might wake up the other boys..." She trails off and I go to punch her arm but she bursts out laughing and quickly escapes me, running towards the girl's dormitories./p
p data-p-id="3ca63808dabd118b1f3afc90979e6731""He is not my crush!" I shout after her and I hear her laughing at me in the corridor./p
p data-p-id="239d38219d4bfd23a573f1cf2ed6c1ba"I grumble in frustration because damn, there's nothing I can hide from her. Because I, Phil Lester, 15 years old and completely inexperienced in the dating area, am completely crushing on Dan Howell, my best friend of three years./p
p data-p-id="c3b09351b58d8b80317faddfa1cc8dbe"em-the next day-/em/p
p data-p-id="6c834fdac7ad3c1f1d97396f82d975c4"I sit at the long Gryffindor table, nearly biting my nails off with stress./p
p data-p-id="e092b765f87fcb87b44534deb08f37b0""He'll be there, stop worrying!" Tiffany says, gently putting a hand on my shoulder and I notice Mels tense up next to me. There's another thing I have to deal with, these two idiots, who obviously like each other. But the thoughts about my two best friends suddenly vanish when Slytherins start pouring in and just like that, I feel my blood turn cold at what I see. Because Tiff is right, Dan is there but not trailing behind the others like usual, he's walking confidently next to three other guys, laughing along with them. I should be glad that he's made friends but instead I feel sick because the three guys in question are the ones who have been tormenting him for years, the ones that had made him cry, that had broken him. And now he's with them, like they're his best friends./p
p data-p-id="9638266036a3a72c89746cb8bae51a7e"I nearly hiss in anger when they all sit down next to each other, and Mels turns to me in surprise. I don't say anything, just point to the guys and she frowns, obviously just as confused as me./p
p data-p-id="fca73529fc424a4260c0e59ace9b33bb""Why is Dan hanging out with those dicks?!" I whisper-shout at the girls, but they both just give me confused glances, so I go back to observing the subject of my obsession./p
p data-p-id="7ca1dc8fbd5cae7a991e9999cd43cb67"I nearly recoil when he turns his head and catches me staring. His eyes. They're so cold when he looks at me, like he hates me. I gulp and I can't seem to look away as he raises his eyebrows at me and for a second, just for a second, I recognize something of the old Dan in his gaze but just like that, it's gone and he turns his head back to the guys. For the rest of breakfast, I just stare at him, trying my best not to cry like a baby when he doesn't look back at me like he used to./p
p data-p-id="2da966651e1a913cd4816a00ed9dbb9a"He isn't himself any more, he's changes, something happened and now he's changed. Now he isn't my best friend any more and I never will be his. And no matter how much I tell myself that it's ok and that I don't need him, that doesn't stop me from crumbling in tears that night, hurt and upset from a guy I realized too late wasn't just a crush. Hurt by the guy I'm in love with./p
p data-p-id="7887644a57d8dcecee8ab58b6bac4708"strong-Present day-/strong/p
p data-p-id="26397f9b9cf241d71a4730363dcaea49"I shake myself from the dreaded thoughts as I enter the Grand Hall, breathing in the Hogwarts air. There's no point in dwelling on horrid thought. But I miss him, I miss so much, even though it's been 3 years he's still a part of my thoughts. Someone, I can't quite remember who, once told me that I just missed the memory of him and maybe that's true but that doesn't stop how much it hurts every time I think about what he did to me. The rest of that year was hell for me, I cried more tears than in the rest of my life. Because of one stupid guy. I know I'm too needy and I know I get too attached but I can't help it, and I can't help hating the fact that I lost someone so important to me. Every time I come back to that part of my life, I can't help thinking that it was my fault. That I wasn't good enough for him, that I was too clingy, too annoying, just not. Good. Enough. I tried talking to him so many times, and so many times he just looked at me while I rambled with cold eyes then walked away, not saying a word./p
p data-p-id="a04ba88f26eb7d4ca3b8f2578dee1b87"For the second time I shake my head, frustrated at myself for thinking about him again when there's no point. Suddenly energy and happiness courses through me when I think that I'm finally going to see the girls and all my friends again! The first one I spot is Troye, sitting next to Chris and I run over, hugging the two from behind. I plop down in front of them instinctively where I have a view of the Slytherin table./p
p data-p-id="05ede8d65d307627cf0b90527298dfe1""Phil! We missed you so much, how was your summer?" Chris says excitedly, while Troye watches us in delight./p
p data-p-id="291f9ccd0ca2e7b63a733220996988ab""Oh emamazing! /emEven though my mum kept bugging me about the exams ugh, it's not like I'm not going to study, just that studying during summer holidays was made by Satan you know?"/p
p data-p-id="fe0b99eff9244f05f3c049b47d5ef945"Chris laughs and just as I'm about to return the question, I feel a presence next to me and I turn my head slowly. Mels is just standing there, beaming at me and I get up instantly, squealing while hugging her tightly. We haven't been able to see each other all through the summer because she lives so far away, and being my best friend there is a limited amount of days I can live without her. After all the "I've missed you"'s and comments about my hair she sits down next to me, bumping her shoulder with mine playfully./p
p data-p-id="76deec6b9ed132c1b3aaa3bc79c1a152""Have you seen Tiffany yet?" I say, almost regretting it when she shoots me a death glare. Almost./p
p data-p-id="da26bb5a35161c9c6300b4c7245ea207""How would I know?" She mumbles angrily but even I can detect the sadness in her tone./p
p data-p-id="a4ce7fbed726ab5f6735f01e08ae2561"Just then, maybe because I was talking about her, I hear a voice behind me :/p
p data-p-id="65b8c0e021eccf57d9a8ab0b3dd91348""Hey bitch"/p
p data-p-id="e2149cf0389f8e04617a611f0eead057"I turn, a full grin on my lips and throw myself at her. She laughs and gives my cheek a big sloppy kiss before letting me go. I assess the situation between her and Mels and I see the latter glaring at the table. Tiff gulps and, shocking everyone at the table, takes on a determined look and reaches forward, kissing Mels's cheek softly, whispering a hello in her ear./p
p data-p-id="9856c98e940a54c86c759d660d57ba6c"When Tiff goes to sit on my other side, I can feel the tension in the air as Mels just sits there, her mouth slightly ajar and a stunned look on her face. I hold back a laugh and shoot a "I can't believe you just did that" look. She just grins at me and just as I'm about to say something to clear some of the tension, my eye catches on to something else. Or rather someone else. There he is, and even though I hate myself for thinking it, I can see how beautiful he looks just from where I'm sitting./p
p data-p-id="d39e58097202371efd1040dcc1f35e55"Except something's wrong. Because instead of staring right on with confidence and arrogance, this time like I'd seen him do so many times before the two dreaded days, he's walking head down, looking at the floor before taking a seat but not next to his usual "friends". He just takes a random empty chair and sits down, his face in his hands for a moments before rubbing his forehead. I analyse his every movement, looking for a sign, anything to show me that maybe, just maybe he's back. My Dan may be back. I search his eyes but he's rubbing his temples eyes closed./p
p data-p-id="93c1af8e3a9f6ac641961e5910fc1448"And then it happens, he very suddenly looks up, directly at me, not blinking and holds my gaze. From here I can see the bags under his eyes and something that looks like a bruise on the left of his cheekbone. I gulp and he just watches me watching him, his expression tired and hurt. And his eyes, they're not cold, they're warm and welcoming. It feels like we've been looking at each other for hours when very slowly, he blinks, like he's trying to hold back tears and his mouth lifts up in a tight, sad, tentative and very small smile. But it's a smile nonetheless and the I hate the effect it has on me, making my heart beat faster, my palms go sweaty and my eyes fill with tears. It may seem like I'm overreacting but he hasn't looked at me with those eyes, those warm eyes for three years. Three long years and it still has the same effect on me as it had before./p
p data-p-id="c44d6d552a74b05991dd945ad018601a""Hey Phil are you ok...?" I hear Tiff say beside me and I realize that she can probably tell I have tears in my eyes. I nod and try not to let them escape, my gaze still fixed on Dan who is now looking at me like I'm the most interesting person ever./p
p data-p-id="f5fdae273ac330554a18bc2bc59004c9""What happened?" My friend asks again and I turn slowly towards her, my hands slightly shaking, and I let out a breath when Dan's intense gaze is broken from mine./p
p data-p-id="b6f8d1cef18abed564bb48e9271723fb""Dan smiled at me." I whisper, looking at her with a stunned expression. Tiffany smiles slowly but then her smile drops, looking at me with a stern look./p
p data-p-id="172c248dc2722cfe9813e38da8eee5fe""So? That douche hurt you, a smile can't repair what he broke okay? Don't you dare let him in your life again that easily"./p
p data-p-id="fe89525fbac97130cc714eee065271fe"I gulp but nod slowly because I know she's right. 2 years ago I wouldn't have given it a second thought, I would've given him a second chance just like that without even him having to ask but now, after all that's happened, all those nights of crying over him, all that hurt, it's not happening. No matter how many times he smiles at me, how many times he apologizes, how many times he explains, I won't let myself fall for him again. I won't, because if I do, I don't know if this time I'll manage to get back up again. And I can't risk it, because I know that if I give him another chance there is no way I'm going to be able to resist him, there is no way that he won't find a way into my heart again. And this time who knows what he'll do to it./p
p data-p-id="d41d8cd98f00b204e9800998ecf8427e"strong /strong/p
p data-p-id="3818fc167218aa484761e45296871e4a"strongHello hello look who's back :D Did you like this? Tell me what you thought! pleeease :3 This is where the story kind of really starts, this was the plan all along. I'm sorry if I get some things wrong in the Harry Potter universe, even though I absolutely adore the series I am not an absolute expert but feel free to point things out, and when I've finished the whole book I'll edit the whole thing cuz let's be real the first chapters are soo shit. br /strong/p
p data-p-id="8800047fe19433c848c0228ff57ebc25"strongLove ya guys! /strong/p