Asis: When can I utterly destroy Dravas
Me: Nonya
Asis: *Grumble *Grumble
Me: So as promised this will be a thanksgiving special around 1250 words so I decided to shorten it.
Link winced as the whip slashed his back for what felt like the hundredth time.
"How many was that 100, 105?' Link pleaded as the whip slashed his back again.
"Try 20" The whipper said as heslashed again
Pyro and Spy watched as the squad leader paid because they were slow as hell.
Pyro looked at spy and said" Mph mmph"
Spy shrugged
Pyro threw its hands up in exasperation and stormed off to find Engineer.
Engineer was busy working on his dispenser.
"Mmmph mmph mph"
"Ya know I can't understand ya" Engineer said and went back to work.
Pyro had enough, it picked up Engineer's guitar, which leaned against the dispenser, and slammed it on his head.
Pyro pulled out a thanksgiving poster that was distributed throughout the camp.
"Oh I see what yer gettin' at" Engineer began to disassemble his dispenser.
Pyro pulled out a check list from who knows where and checked off Engineer. Scout next Pyro thought.
Pyro opened the door to Scout's sleeping quarters, and walked in.
Scout was snoozing along with a hint of drool.
And he wonders why Pauling won't date him Pyro thought as it walked up to Scout and poked him in the arm.
Scout didn't move.
Pyro tried again, and again, and again.
Scout threw his hand around, still half asleep.
Pyro began to shake with anger, and pulled out its fire axe and raised it above Scout's neck.
Right as he was about to drop it, Angel Pyro appeared on its shoulder.
"Mmph mmph mmph" It said waving its finger before disappearing.
Pyro thought for a minute before a light bulb appeared above its head.
Pyro ran to the phone and dialed.
"Hello Sco-oh Pyro it's you" Ms. Pauling said
Pyro began to jump up and down, pleased with its self before turning to Ms. Pauling and point to Scout" MMPH! Mmph mph mmmmph mph mph mmmph"
"Oh…..Ok SCOUT WAKE UP" Ms. Pauling yelled through the phone.
Scout shot out of bed before saying" What'd I miss"
"There is that better Pyro" Ms. Pauling said
Pyro gave her a thumb's up before turning off the phone.
Pyro pointed at an ad for cheap cranberry sauce.
Scout smirked and said" Got it" And sprinted out the door.
Pyro pulled out the magically following check list and checked off Scout. Next up, Sniper.
Unlike Scout, Sniper wasn't asleep…which made it harder to find him.
Pyro ran around the base shouting" Smmphr, Smmmphr"
Pyro burst into the lunch room" Smmphr?'
Heavy was half-way through biting down on his sandvich.
Pyro pulled up a magazine on how to make rolls, and pointed at Heavy, before running off.
Pyro ran down the halls of the base before it heard Sniper's voice saying" AHHHH!"
Pyro forced open a door to find Sniper…Peeing in a jar.
"Sup mate" Sniper shout
Pyro averted its eyes as Sniper turned around.
It held up a hunting ad for Turkeys.
"Roger mate" Sniper said as he zipped up his pants and grabbed his huntsman.
Pyro was about to sit down when it heard" Pyro help now!"
Pyro ran down the stair to find Engineer next to a make-shift oven that still had the scrap metal in the sides. Next to him was Heavy who was holding a cooking tray.
"Ya just have to heat 'er up Pyro buddy" Engineer said gesturing to the dispenser/oven.
"Mmmph mmph m" Pyro said as the flamethrower ignited inside the oven, causing the heat meter to go up.
Heavy inserted the cooking tray into the oven.
Pyro sat back and opened a can of Spam and tossed it to Heavy, then went looking for Soldier.
Soldier was playing chess against Demo-man only with grenades instead of pieces.
"Ha, checkmate you one eye Cyclops" He shouted triumphantly.
"Mmmphmr" Pyro said and gestured to a box of potatoes, making a fist and smashing it against Pyro's other hand.
Soldier did a salute before getting out his entrenching tool and charging a them
Demo-man looked a Pyro expectantly.
Pyro shrugged and gestured to the silver ware and plates.
Demo slouched his shoulders and went to work.
Pyro ran to the medical bay.
Medic was stroking Archimedes's feathers.
"Mmmphic" Pyro shouted and gesture toward the door.
Medic had a blank look on his face.
Pyro decide charades would be the best thing in this situation.
Pyro acted out a sore back, a whip, and Medic going to help.
"Gaa, I see, Ready!" Medic shouted and ran out the door.
Pyro sat down in a chair, and dosed off
Pyro was in Pyro-land
It saw a giant sandvich with a pixy Heavy floating around it.
Pyro picked up a lolly pop and began sprinting at the Heavy.
Heavy charged at it. Pyro jumped up and slammed the lolly pop in his mouth.
"nam nam" He said.
A Scout pixy flew on Pyro's rainblower.
Pyro blew some bubbles in his face.
Pyro then began to skip around, all the pixies following it.
Suddenly, the ground turned red with blood, and Pyro turned around, it saw all kinds of destruction.
Pyro realized it was holding a flamethrower, not the rainblower, It saw the Heavy with an axe in its neck.
Pyro turned and saw everything on fire.
Then it heard a voice," You are a murder" The voice gave a laugh" You honor me with each life you take, now finish off this one." Pyro saw a Spy limping toward a health pack.
Pyro walked up and pointed its flamethrower at him.
The Spy's eyes got large and he avoided the look of the flamethrower.
"Stop" a voice said and a young man materialized right next Pyro.
"You don't have to be the bad guy, let him live, and help me face the true forces of evil" The young man had a bandana around his forehead and held out his hand.
Pyro looked at the Spy, then back to the man.
Pyro took his hand.
"I am Asis"
"Mmmphm"
"We really need your help
Suddenly Pyro was shaken awake by Scout.
"Hey fire-brand we need you to cook this turkey" Scout said gesturing at the oven.
Pyro turned to the oven and fired a stream of flame into it.
The next 30 minutes the turkey baked, which was so boring!
Pyro decided to pass the time by playing rock paper scissors with Heavy.
3/2 Pyro was on a roll, right before Medic burst through the door.
"He iz comeeng" Medic shouted.
The turkey Dinged.
Pyro quickly tried to set it on the table, before realizing there was a lot to put up.
Pyro tried to grab it all, but some of it fell. Fortunately Demo was quick with his hands and caught what fell.
(Meanwhile)
Link's back still felt a little sore from the whips despite, Medic saying he should be ok.
He looked down and saw no lights on in the building that his team was staying in.
If they're taking a vacation while I- He suddenly tripped down the hill and began to roll.
He suddenly felt a hand grab him and lift him.
Spy smirked at him" It appears you have fallen"
Link smirked" Well at least you haven't abandoned your post."
"Yes yes" Spy said as he opened the door.
Raphael suddenly ran up to Link and said" Hey sorry about the whole whipping thing"
Link smirked" It'll be fine, hey care to visit, it'll be a little lonely without a group around me"
"Don't mind if I do"
Link walked in, grabbed Raphael some spam, and walked into the dining room.
Suddenly the lights turned on and Link was met with "surprise" and "Mmmmphmm"
"What…what is this" Link was at a loss for words as was Raphael.
"We felt bad that you had to sustain injury for our failure, and we were grateful for taking the punishment, SO we threw you a party" Medic said in his best American accent.
"Thank you…..thank you all" Link had tears in his eyes
"Hey thank Pyro over here" Demo said gesturing to the masked party master.
"Sorry if I was late, I accidently tripped" He said before joining the group at the table.
Pyro heard Spy materialize next to it and say": Not so much of an accident as you might thinkl" He said with a grin
Pyro gave him a thumbs up before joining the group in dining throughout the night
Me:*Sniffles* That….part*sniffle* always gets me
Asis: Are you crying? To your own story.
Me: Shut up.
So sorry about not adding too much spam butI don't know much about it except it a bunch of pig parts.
But yea This was a thanksgiving special, also any rights involving team fortress 2 belong to valve.