It was a lovely night, the sky was clear and the stars were able to shine through. It reminded Roy of the night where he and Riza would stay at work far too late to the point where they were both exhausted and he would purposely take his time walking to the car with her, caught up in the thought of walking beside her on a moonlit night, regardless of the circumstance.
During the months that Erika had been working for him, the two had become close. She was like a beam of sunshine and proved herself to be one of the most compassionate people Mustang had ever met. He confided in her his frustrations about the military, his fear of failing as fuhrer, and how jealous he was that Havoc was spending most of his free time with Rebecca Catalina since they had started dating. But he never expressed to her the kind of feelings he had in moments like these.
She knew he missed Riza, but she didn't know how deep it really went. She didn't know how he felt about nights like these. Roy hated to admit it, but he didn't entirely dislike Erika. She was very warm, always going out of her way to say hello to him and ask him about his day. She loved his sense of humor and filled the office with laughter. She was especially patient with Mustang, for she sensed his hesitation around her, but she was determined to not only be a good assistant but to be a good friend to him.
The two of them were walking back from a meeting with some volunteers in the Ishval rebuilding, a meeting which had ran very late. Roy was walking unusually fast, surprisingly not tired after having been working a full day and then some, and Erika struggled to keep up with his fast pace in her skirt and high heels.
"Sir, if you could just slow down a little bit, I'd really appreciate it," she said with a chuckle.
"Oh, I'm sorry," he said. "It's just that I'm usually home by now to take Black Hayate for his walk. It's later than I thought it'd be and we still have those clearance forms to look over before tomorrow."
"Black Hayate... that was Captain Hawkeye's dog, wasn't it?"
"Yes, I've temporarily adopted him while she's… away."
"You live fairly close to here, don't you sir?"
"Closer than the office,"
"Well, I see no reason why we can't take Black Hayate out before heading back," she said finally catching up to him. "I'd love to meet the little guy."
He looked at her, somewhat surprised. "That's very kind of you," he said. "I think he'd really appreciate it. I promise we'll be quick."
"No problem."
Mustang's apartment was in complete disarray, more so than usual, (though to him it was organized chaos) but Black Hayate had easily made himself at home even though his new surroundings differed greatly from the pristine environment he was used to.
"Hey there boy!" greeted Roy enthusiastically as he threw his arms open to greet the pup. Black Hayate jumped up barking, exciting to have company. But, instead of running into Roy's arm as his temporary master expected, he lept towards the woman behind him. He whined until Erika knelt down to pet him and his tail wagged as if he had been waiting for her his entire life.
"Well, well, well," mused Mustang as he watched Black Hayate happily lick a slightly embarrassed Erika.
"It looks like someone has a way with animals."
He swore he saw her blush. "Or it seems as though someone has properly taught him to be cautious around strangers."
"I haven't had much time to continue his training," confessed Mustang. "Besides, Hawkeye was so strict, and I know I could never fill her shoes. He's a good dog regardless, and I don't really want him getting used to following anyone's commands but hers."
"So, you really believe she's-" Erika stood up to meet his gaze, but what was behind him caught her attention instead. His wall was covered with newspaper clippings and files. There were strings connecting different sections and handwritten notes strewn all across. It was like a map. Or a ransom note. Or a cry for help. "-coming back?" she finished asking almost in a whisper.
"With all my heart," he said without thinking, then he followed her gaze. "Oh, uh yeah that… it's nothing. It's just me bringing work home with me."
"Is this about her?" she asked stepping forward to read what was there.
"Yes," he admitted slightly embarrassed. "The military has given up the search but there's no one stopping me from continuing it in my down time."
"When do you sleep?" she asked quietly.
"I'll sleep when I'm finished."
"You should give up."
"Excuse me?"
He was genuinely surprised. Sure, plenty of people had told him to move on, but none so forwardly. They had tried to be gentle and careful with him, two things Erika had been since he had met her, but she did not attempt to soften the blow.
"This needs to stop," she said, her voice becoming louder and more harsh. "There's a reason the search was stopped and sir it's not healthy for you to keep doing this to yourself."
"I appreciate the sentiment Erika, and no offense but you don't know what you're talking about."
"I think i know all too well," she continued her eyes glued to the wall. "You can't accept this change. You can't move on. You're letting it destroy you slowly. You need to stop waiting for her."
"Where is this coming from?"
"A place of concern," she said gently. "I mean, look at is the mark of an insane person. You are expected to lead a nation and you're allowing one woman to tear you apart. And I know you… cared for her but no one lives forever."
"How would you feel if someone forgot you?" he asked after a few moments of silence. "She risked her life for me countless times. She uprooted her whole life to protect me. When she thought she lost me she nearly gave up. How do you forget someone like that?"
"You don't," she said, turning to face him. "You won't forget her. Clearly, she meant alot to you. But she would want you to keep going, the same way you'd want her to keep going. Moving on doesn't mean forgetting. But sir, she is gone. And I'm sorry if that's hard for you to hear, but you needed to hear it."
"Maybe I did."
She cleared her throat awkwardly, remembering why they had come in here in the first place. "I mean no disrespect sir, but I'm not about to sit idly by and watch you be coddled," she walked passed him to where Black Hayate's leash was hung, her heels clicking against the floor. She attached the leash and lead the little dog to the door. "Now, shall we?"
He absorbed her words in silence, replaying how her despotic words fought with the lightness of her voice, yet the two joined together to force him to a realization. He lifted his head a took a long, hard look at the wall and saw it through her eyes. Maybe he was crazy. Most of the time it was his life on the line but whenever it came to her… something came over him. Now the ending was blurred and uncertain and for the first time he was facing the reality that life would move on without her in it.
Whether or not he wanted it to.
"Very well, Ms Hayes," he said as he let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. "Let's go and get this little guy some fresh air."
The next day, Erika expected things to be a bit tense between her and the brigadier general, as he had a reputation for taking things far too personally. But he greeted her with a face that did not suggest that she had shattered his will the night before.
"Good morning Erika," he said with a smile as she walked in. "Are you here for the clearance forms?"
"Um, yes sir," she said as she walked over to his desk. "I also brought you some coffee, extra sugar, just the way you like it."
"How kind of you," he said as she traded the cup for the file. "And before you go… I just wanted to thank you."
"It's no problem sir, the coffee shop is on my way to work,"
"No, no for that," he said. "About last night…"
"Sir, really I-."
"No, no," he insisted. "You said exactly what I needed to hear and I appreciate it. I've since then taken down the board and I'd like to apologize if I become even more unbearable. She was just very important to me is all."
"I understand," she said simply. She offered him a small smile as she turned to leave. "And if you ever need anyone to talk to about... any of this, I'm always here for you sir."
"I appreciate that."
"So, I see you're finally warming up to Erika huh, chief?" said Havoc as he walked by Mustang in the cafeteria.
"I suppose you could say that," admitted Mustang sheepishly. "She's an excellent worker."
"And she's not so bad on the eyes either,"
"Don't let Rebecca hear you say that,"
"All I'm saying is that it's nice to see there's someone else who makes you happy,"
"Havoc, you know there's no one like her,"
"I know that," he said solemnly. "But still, it's nice to see you smile again. I mean, you can't deny she's amazing."
"I most certainly can't," said Roy. "And she's amazingly intuitive. You know, she never even asked me how I took my coffee? Having her here… it feels like Hawkeye never left."