My original thoughts for this chapter were somewhat different; it was due to air and be set on Valentines day, dedicated to all those who are spending this valentines alone, to those who are single, in long distance relationships or 'its complicated'. However upon reflection, I thought that might add insult to injury. That wasn't my only rational, or even the main reason if I'm honest with you (something I vow always to be), it didn't feel right or real. Regina and Emma celebrating Valentines openly so early into their fragile 'relationship' of sorts. Regina most certainly wasn't ready to do that, and to write it as such just because it was Valentines Day would have been detrimental to the story and their character.
Apologies for the delays, first I was hella busy, I mean seriously you have no idea how hard/long hours I had to work around the big VDay! Also how annoyingly busy 50shades of shite made me job! EUGH
Also I got a new job (yay) which means I'll now be working 11+hour days as a minimum (don't you just love 5am starts when you wont get home till like 7.30pm at the very optimistic earliest. I also thought it would be a fantastic idea to start my new job whilst working my notice (yes I am clinically insane - But still yay for new job!)
This was clearly a terrible idea as I had to take two days off work (this is unheard of, the last time I took time off work it was because I was in a hit and run, and even then.. I went into work the very next day until my boss literally drove me home and banned me from work .. I think I had like 2 days off before I went stir crazy and refused anymore time off. So yeah me and days off sick just don't happen, like ever… I literally have to be dying! And I kinda felt I was. Unfortunately my brain decided to combine a sever migraine with a bout of Alice In Wonderland Syndrome AWS WHICH WAS ONE OF THE WORST EXPERIENCES OF MY LIFE! Alone they're bad enough, but together?! SERIOUSLY NOT FUN! -.-
I mean I have no sympathy for myself, I literally brought it on by being such a work crazed weirdo. But have I learnt from my mistakes?! Nooo… Don't be silly, this week I'm still working out my notice AND doing a shift in my new job on my day off. Who needs days off?! Not I!
WARNING! The 'C' word is used.. Because well.. It was damned well called for! I do apologise and I tried for ages with other cuss words but all the reasons why I shouldn't use the 'C' word were actually all the reasons I HAD to use it in this context. It is only used the once and I hope it doesn't offend or put off too many of you little faeries. I do apologise again, but I hope when you see it's placement you'll understand that no other word carried the same weight.
I also use the 'F' word a few times, but mhh… Shit happens :P
Final apology, I know I have neglected your comments, I do read them and I promise I will be getting around to answering them all. I did start trying to input your comments into a spread sheet (yes I am really that anal) but it began to confuse even me, and then I was worried I'd miss some off… so… I shall reply to all messages separately (I was going to club all messages/comments by the same reader together and reply in one go)
Also to those who sent me messages on Tumblr. I am so sorry, but I didn't even realise I had messages there, usually I get little emails saying you have sent me mail, I clicked on the other day and noticed TWENTY FOUR poor neglected baby mails, poor things were near starved of affection!
I'm going to shut up now, this brief note is now nearly 800 words long.. Its nearly a baby fic all by itself.. I hereby call it 'The Life and Crimes of an Over Caffeinated Fairie'.
This chapter continues where the last one left off.
Chapter Twenty-Three
"Whose that?" Regina sat up with a fright as the front door banged, it was around seven and her and Emma were curled up on the sofa. It had been a difficult day, and the last thing she wanted was to deal with a burglar stupid enough to not only hit her home, but to do so when she was in it.
"Hush." Emma said pulling her back into her warm embrace; she'd sent their son a message to come home just before they settled down by the roaring fire. She smiled as Regina tried futilely to pull herself up, the day of frantic sex and tears had drained her energy leaving her weak.
"Hey mom." Henry said as he stepped into the living room, he dropped his bag and coat in a pile in the doorway, cardinal sin number two, but he didn't care, he ran and jumped onto the couch, snuggle up against the brunette. "Are you okay now? He asked hopefully.
Holding her son close she let her eyes flutter closed, as she smelt the soft familiar smell of his hair tickling against her nose, such a comforting smell. "Now you're home, yes." Her heart felt like it was about to explode, and it made her want to hit Emma repeatedly with the pillow, she hated not being in control of her emotions. She blamed the firelight and her emotional state as her heart raced contently between the blonde and their son.
An hour later she awoke in pain as Emma turned, elbowing her in the side. "Ow!" She glared at the blonde.
"Sorry." She blushed sheepishly, "I was getting a dead arm."
"So what, you thought you'd revive it by hitting me?" She stretched before smiling down at their son, fast asleep on her lap. "Did you sleep?"
"No, I just watched you two sleep."
"I don't know if that's sweet or creepy."
"Shall we go with sweet?" Emma said with a laugh,
Regina just rolled her eyes, though she was unable to hide the small smile on her lips. With a wave of her hand Henry's sleeping form began to rise in the air and glide towards the foot of the staircase.
"Shit man!" Emma said as she watched impressed.
"Language!" Regina reprimanded, glaring at her once again. "And careful you'll wake him." They both followed their floating son up the stairs to his room. When he was tucked in, kisses placed on his head, they returned downstairs.
"Thank you for today Emma." Regina said softly as she played with one of the rings of her finger, avoiding eye contact with the blonde. "I trust I don't need to inform you that discretion would be greatly appreciated."
"You don't even have to ask Regina."
Suddenly Regina looked up, this time her face set firm and serious. "If you ever tie me up again without my permission we are done, is that understood?!"
Completely taken aback Emma just nodded speechless.
"Good." The harshness fell as quickly as it was born. "Tomorrow's valentines day." She said simply.
"Yes, it is." She didn't exactly know where things stood between them, were gifts expected or even allowed?
"Well… Don't expect anything, I don't think it would be appropriate."
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Happy V Day x
Regina stared at the message on her phone, she had sent it nearly three weeks ago and she was still waiting for a reply. Three weeks of radio silence from the stubborn detective. Looking at the message she scowled at the two blue 'ticks' signifying that the message had not only been delivered, but also read, and that Emma was just too damned ignorant to reply. Emma was pissed, she knew she was pissed, and she knew why, she'd royally F***** up!
Looking down at her diary she ran a finger over the initials 'D.N.W.E.S' written in purple and underlined for added emphasis; Date night with Emma Swan. She had booked the table weeks ago in preparation and yet hadn't gotten around to asking said Miss Swan to join her. Valentines Day was cliché at its best, commercial and predictable. She hadn't wanted Emma to think the only reason she had taken her on a date was because it was Valentines Day; she wanted Emma to know it was real, that her decision to avoid Valentines Day was because she cared.
But now it all seemed so pointless, the Sheriff would just see the invitation as an lame apology, or a desperate attempt to regain control over their 'relationship'. Emma would just accuse her of not wanting people to know they were on a date, and in part, that was true, but only in part. Regina had booked a table in a nice restaurant in town; classy, but not so swanky so as to put off the dorky Sheriff or to make her feel uncomfortable or out of place. If she'd have wanted to keep it a secret she'd have invited her over for an intimate dinner, or driven to a secluded spot on the hill overlooking the town for a romantic picnic, there were so many ways she could have made a romantic gesture whilst still keeping their romance a secret, but that wasn't what she was trying to do.
She didn't care if anyone asked about their status (once they'd figured it out, with Emma's permission and after they had spoken to their son). But there was a significant difference between keeping a low profile but being willing to be open and honest, and advertising their intimacy by going out on a romantic date ON Valentines Day.
She should have gone after her, she should have explained, she should have told Emma about the booking straight away, but she hadn't. She sighed, why hadn't she asked Emma out officially?! She knew why, she was scared; of rejection, but also that Emma would actually say yes.
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"Well we wouldn't want to do anything inappropriate would we?!" Emma snapped before storming off out of the house, she strode down the path, her mind was fuzzy with anger, her heart racing. Her head spun and she felt sick, her heart was beating so loudly in her ears, drowning out Regina's desperate pleas behind her, pleas for her to stay, to explain.
As far as Emma was concerned Regina had explained enough.
She drove off around the corner before harshly slamming on the breaks at the roadside. Throwing open the door to her bug she was sick. "Great." She grumbled, just what she needed, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before driving home, forcing herself to grow calmer, not wanting to give Regina the satisfaction of affecting her.
She slammed the door of the apartment rather louder than she had meant too, wincing at the sound as she waited for two concerned and disapproving faces to appear.
Though Mary Margaret's face showed traces of displeasure at the mistreatment of her apartment she let it slide, for the time being. "How is she?" She asked concerned, it had taken all her will power, and David's control to keep her from calling around herself to see how her once step mother was faring.
"Oh fine! Queen bitch is back once again."
"Emma!" Mary Margaret reprimanded. "Don't call her that."
"You're right, she'd no longer a Queen, just a selfish cunt faced bitch!"
"Emma!" This time it was David who cut in, stepping forward. "Don't you dare use that language in front of your mother." As Emma rolled her eyes he glared at her, she may be all grown up, but clearly his daughter could be a petulant child. "Outside, now!"
As the two blondes left Mary Margaret wrapped her arms around to comfort herself in her confusion, her family was mad! After a beat she smiled to herself, not for the first time noticing the similarity between her husband and their daughter, for just hours earlier Emma had shared a similar moment with Henry.
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Regina stood up from her desk abruptly in sudden determination, though upon doing so she did feel a trifle silly at the unseen dramatics. She had lived in fear all her life; fear of her mother, the King, Rumplestiltskin, loosing her son, loosing her power, fear of being alone, fear of abandonment. She remembered back, to a time long before, a fairy had once taken her to a man whom the fairy had fated she belonged too, but she had fled, abandoning her chance to find out if the so called prophesy was indeed true, abandoning a chance of happiness. She had run. When Daniel was taken from her locked herself away in her own glass tower of isolation and emotions. She had hid. When she was released, she fought behind fear and depression, not this time.
She didn't remember the journey to the station, the next thing she knew she was stepping out of her Merc into the car park; just grateful she lived in a town small enough to avoid traffic. Inhaling hard she drew her courage from somewhere deep inside of herself, this was make or break. Flexing her fists she walked briskly into the station building not stopping before she reached the room on the far right. Emma was perched on the edge of David's desk and by the looks of things the two of them were having a light-hearted conversation, before she interrupted. "A word in the hallway!"
Emma's face physically darkened, she hadn't seen or heard anything from Regina since her pathetic Valentines attempt, and now she had the nerve to command in her usually pissy way. "Anything you have to say you can say here." She stood up, crossing her arms in front of herself, there was no way Regina was using subtle psychological tactics to dominate her or the situation.
"David If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to talk to your daughter in private."
""No you'll stay." Emma glared warning daggers at her deputy before returning them to the brunette.
Looking between the two angry and determined women, David stood up, deciding he feared Regina's wrath more than Emma's, and he could tell it was a conversation that should probably be happening. "I'll leave you two too it." He said before sneaking out, ignoring Emma's hot gaze.
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They sat in silence as David drove them into a secluded spot in the woods. Stopping the car, he turned to his daughter, his previous anger gone as his voice echoed concern and understanding. "Spill."
"There's nothing to say –" Emma began as she fiddled with her fingers in her lap, looking down to avoid eye contact.
"Don't treat me like a fool Emma, I may be your father, and I might not have been there when you were growing up, but I'm here now."
She looked up at his kind face, part of her wanted to throw her arms around him and cry, another part wanted to sulk and not say a word, but there was another part too..
"So, who is he?"
Crap, Emma thought. How wrong could someone who was right be?! "It's not-" She went to tell him, that it wasn't a he, but actually a she.
"Yes it is, don't think I don't know young love when I see it.
"But-"
"No buts Emma, what have they done?"
Emma sighed, maybe now wasn't the time to come out to her 28year-estranged father. "Not much to say, met someone, thought they were… perfect…" She failed to find a better word, she had thought Regina was perfect. "But they turned out not to be, whatever, no biggy."
"Clearly it is."
Emma glared at him until she smiled, how could he possibly know her so well. "I was jerked around, I don't think we wanted the same thing, or that were in the same place…"
"Were you perfect."
"Yes." She said stubbornly, scowling as she pulled her knees close, her arms tight around them.
"Really?"
"No." She sulked. "I left.
"Do you think maybe they deserve a second chance?"
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"I don't want to hear it Regina!"
"Tough! You're going to anyway." She watched as Emma clammed up, her defensive walls falling hard and unbreakable around her, it was something she knew only too well. It was like watching a mirror, and for the first time she realised perhaps how annoying it was to try and converse with someone so closed off."
"I fucked up Emma-"
Emma looked up from the floor; prissy Regina swearing was one way to get her attention.
"Royally." She continued. "I wanted to take you on a date-"
"Of course you did."
"Yes, I did!" Regina insisted.
"What stopped you?"
"Nothing, I should have told you about it before, and I'm sorry I didn't… I was scared!" Her voice was desperate, but she didn't care. She took a long thin box from out of her pocket, handing it to the blonde. She waited for her to take it, before it became clear she wasn't going to. With a sigh she placed the box atop David's desk.
"Sure."
She knew she was wrong to have kept Emma at arms length, but here she was trying to make amends, trying to apologise, and the blonde was doing nothing but throw it back in her face. At least she had sent a Valentines message, Emma had sent her nothing in return, not even an acknowledgement, nothing. "Oh grow up! I already have one adolescent in my life, I don't need another!"
Emma saw red, "you don't have Henry, and you'll never have me!" She snapped before storming out past the brunette, out into the street, past her father who was leaning against the wall, into her bug, slamming the doors she drove off, she knew not to where.
Perplexed and concerned, David made his way back inside the station, only to find Regina looking lost and forlorn. The moment only lasted a second, as she flicked her hair away from her face and donned her mask of confidence and lies, but he'd seen beneath the mask, and he couldn't un-see the look, the look of heartbreak. "So…" He began as he shoved his hands awkwardly into his pockets. "You and Emma."
"A fight between your petulant toddler of a daughter and myself is far from unheard of, it should hardly come as a surprise to you."
"No it doesn't surprise me, but that you're in love with her does."
Slowly Regina opened her mouth to object, but she had no idea what to say, instead she closed it. She reopened it again but no words came out, until she realised she probably looked like a fish, so closed it once again. "How did you-" She wasn't going to deny it, there was something about the way he said it with such certainty that made her realise that denial was futile.
"The look on your face when I walked back in here." He explained. "I've seen that look on you once before."
Regina scoffed, for as long as the clearly not-so-Charming Prince and the not-so-Evil Queen had known each other, he certainly hadn't been privy to her emotions, well, those other than anger, hurt and hatred, or so she thought.
"The stables, the day Whale resurrected Daniel." He ignored the hurt he saw in her eyes, continuing even as she turned away, her arms wrapping around herself in comfort and defence. "I watched as your heart tore in two, I watched as love and loss painted across your face. Deny it all you like but I saw it too just now, the exact same look, and from the way Emma stormed out confident and pissed, I'd gather she told you she doesn't feel the same way, that that is the reason for the look of pained devastation –"
"All right enough!" Regina snapped turning back around, as if she wasn't vulnerable enough, to have her past wrenched up before her, to have Emma's oh so perfectly happy father describe her own misery in vivid Technicolor for what she could only assume was his own amusement was pure torture. "Yes I love your daughter, and yes she told me in no uncertain terms where to 'shove it', and yes it's over. I'm not going to tear up the town, wage a war, or curse a kingdom. As irrelevant as it all is now, because I now no longer need your approval or your forgiveness, I HAVE changed. I love your daughter, which is amazing and beautiful and insane, and the biggest 'curve ball' I've ever been hit, but she helped me, Merlin knows how, she helped me learn to love myself! And that might not seem important to you, and yes it may be selfish, but I love her enough to let her make her own decisions and to leave, and I love myself enough not to jeopardise the life I have built and the person I am, and want to be, the person I always have been deep inside!" And suddenly her words fell silent, as though finally out of steam, exhausted from everything, from the secrets, the lies, the emotions, the past and the hope of the future.
David stepped forwards, looking her squarely in the face as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "You have it."
Screwing her face up in confusion as it built into frustrated anger she snapped back. "What?!"
"My forgiveness." He spoke slow and soft, full of sincerity. "And my approval."
"What?" She repeated, so soft the words were barely audible as her eyes darted across blue.
"You and Emma have my approval." He repeated.
Pulling back in anger Regina clenched her fists. "Were you not listening?" She snapped. "There is nothing to approve of, she left, I screwed it up, like I screw everything up. I love her, but she does not love me!"
"Yes she does."
"David!" Regina pleaded, the words so painful to hear.
"Regina, she loves you. I didn't know it was you, to be honest I didn't know it was a woman… but now –" he gestured around them. "It makes so much sense." Taking her hands in his own he smiled, both in genuine support and also amusement at the face Regina was pulling at the gesture. "I couldn't think of a better match… But don't tell Mary Margaret, you know she wants to be the ultimate couple on the block."
Regina laughed in spite of herself, before a tear rolled down her cheek. "Why?"
"She's not as humble as she leads people to believe."
Regina laughed harder. "No, why do you support it, us, after everything-"
Seeing Regina laugh was a beautiful thing, watching her open up, the mask slipping was mesmerising, and in that second he realised what it was his daughter saw in the Mayor.
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Dinner? As in a date? Was this like an official thing? In public? Emma's mind ran through a thousand questions. She had only invited her because she felt guilty!... Hadn't she?...
Emma growled in frustration at herself. She wanted to remain pissed at the brunette, to make her suffer, but hadn't she done that enough? And even if she wanted too, her heart wouldn't let her. It ached in longing for the mother of her son, she missed her, more than she'd ever missed anyone. "Damn that woman." She muttered to herself. "Damn her."
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"I'll speak to her." David said.
"Do you think that's wise?" They were both leant back on David's desk, talking frankly, open and honest for the first time… well.. ever.
"I think you seeking her fathers permission and assistance will do you no end of favours."
"I didn't exactly seek…" She said with a small smile
"Emma is more traditional than she likes us to think, she's also more romantic, I'm guessing you are aware that you crushed her on Valentines Day." Regina's face fell and he quickly continued. "I'm not judging or criticising Regina. I will help you, and I will support this, but you hurt my baby girl, and I will kill you… Metaphorically."
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"Sit." David commanded as Emma returned to the station sheepishly, Regina had left half an hour earlier and he had been waiting not-so-patiently.
Without a word she did as she was told, pulling the chair out which David had set opposite his desk. "I can explain-"
"No need, I know everything."
"I doubt that." She said.
"Okay, how about you let me explain what I think I know, and then you can correct me anywhere I went wrong and fill in any blanks?"
Emma shrugged. "Sure."
"You and Regina have been engaged in a secret relationship, you both love each other more than you've ever loved another, except for the love you have for the son you share, she hurt you by not conforming to a false day of commercial romance, and instead trying to show the sincerity in her feelings, and you in turn hurt Regina by ignoring both the day and her entirely. You're both as bad as each other and need your heads banging together. So, did I miss anything?" He asked smugly as he watched Emma pull a face similar Regina's blowfish earlier.
"Err.. No I think that's pretty much everything…"
"She left this for you, and I promised I would make sure you opened it." He said handing over the box Regina had left to a still bemused and shocked Emma.
Still unable to speak she took the box, untying the sky blue ribbon from the white box, letting it and the lid fall into her lap. A small gasp caught in her throat as she stared down at the most beautiful red rose, under which sat a small note.
Maybe some clichés aren't too bad.
We have a table booked for 8.30 tonight at the palatium autem stellarum,
I hope to see you there.
Yours, Regina x
She rolled her eyes forcefully, though the small smile playing on her lips gave away her true feelings.
"Please don't be a twat!"
"Dad!" Emma exclaimed in amused surprise.
"Then don't, she has apologised, and she has made this gesture, don't spoil it Emma."
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Looking down at her watch Regina chewed her lip nervously, it was 9.02, and she'd been stood up. With a disappointed and heartbroken sigh she downed the rest of her expensive pinot noir in one less than lady like gulp. "Time to call it a night" she said to herself under her breath as soon as the words were past her lips she heard a familiar voice from the other side of the room.
"It's okay I can see her." Emma had the ability to turn every head in the diner, for two reasons; one she was stunning, her long blonde curls falling loose down her back, a black dress cut so low it was barely legal, yet resting conservatively on the knee and a pair of matching black stilettoes, secondly, from the way she ran through the restaurant like a bull in a china store, jostling tables and patrons as she did so. She arrived at their secluded table flustered and shy as she gave a small "hi."
"Hey." Regina replied, nervousness creeping up on her as she looked up at Emma's beautiful face.
"I'm really sorry, I can explain –" Emma began as she pulled out the chair, talked so quickly in a desperate attempt to get her story out before Regina changed her mind and walked out on her, not that she'd have blamed her for doing so.
"It's fine." Regina said as she gave a soft shy smile.
"I need to Regina!"
"It really fine Emma, you're here, nothing else matters." And it didn't.
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Okay so I didn't warn you that this chapter was smutless.. So sue me! I know that's what you all hoped for and expected, but sometimes smut is out of place, and right now, during their timeline it would have been. Sorry, not sorry!
Was/is all the flashing back and forth between scenes and time et cetera confusing as hell?! Let me know on a scale of watching OUAT on caffeine to watching Tarantino with a hangover how easy is it to follow?
This week I'd like you all to do something for me in your comments/emails/pms et cetera.
60% of my messages currently assume I am either a Domme or a sub, and I'd like you all to cast your aspersions ;P
I open messages, which make me smile so much when they make assumptions both rightly and wrongly.
So poll time, I'm intrigued to tally up your answers from all around the web and find out what your first thoughts are of your dedicated writer.
So am I vanilla, switch, Domme or sub, or are you unsure or frankly don't care.
Until next time, abraços e beijos