A/N: Hi all. So stoked with the reaction to the first chapter. Glad everyone liked it.

Now that Olivia's anger is out of the way, what will happen?

So many feels in this chapter. Hope I can do it justice.

Disclaimer: If I owned SVU then there wouldn't be any reason for me to do this.

This chapter is for babyvfan, the first reviewer.

Be sure to check out my other EO stories, Prey and From the Ashes.

Enjoy and review.

Chapter 2: Recollection

"'Hi Liv! HI LIV!'" Ignoring the fiery throbbing of her bruised knuckles, Olivia shook with white heat. "That's what you say after two and a half fucking years Stabler! As if you never left?" Her eyes blazed at the man crumpled on the floor. 'The gall, the fucking gall.' "You son of a bitch! Get out of here before I do something worse!"

A hand drifting to cup his nose, Elliot felt wet, sticky liquid coating his fingertips. As he expected, it was crimson. 'I should've known it would happen.' Even with the unfairness of it all, all Olivia knew was that he abruptly left her without a word. The rage in her eyes, the pain behind it… it killed him, a knife to his very heart. He propped himself on his arms to stand. However, weakened from two years of torture and malnutrition, his elbows gave way and he collapsed back to the ground.

The sight snapped Olivia back to reality from her enraged state. Blinking the red from her eyes, she finally had a clear picture of her former Partner. A gasp tore from her lips. "Oh my God," Olivia breathed, hands shooting up to cover her mouth.

Staring at him, Olivia couldn't believe the state he was in. All the years that they knew each other she had marveled at the sheer physical prowess that was Elliot Stabler. Muscled as a Greek god, every time she had caught a glimpse of him without his clothes – such as that undercover operation involving the animal smugglers – he never ceased to take her breath away. No matter what he oozed a cocky confidence that she greatly admired.

Not a single iota of that remained. The man in front of her, unable to even stand, was a wraith. His greycoat and pants hung loosely on his frame. Strong hands were now bony, Olivia clearly seeing the outlines of his bones. Elliot's face was shrunken, cheeks hollowed out.

Most hauntingly to her was his eyes. The deep azure blue that she had fallen in love with, always sparkling with passion and amusement. They were muted now, worn with pain and loss. It hit her very soul.

All anger at him melted away. "El!" Olivia cried, rushing across the hall and kneeling by his side. Before she could even blink her arms had pulled him to her, head resting in the crook of her neck. "I'm sorry. God, I'm sorry." Fingertips stroked his short hair, the strands almost uniformly grey. "Are you ok?"

To Elliot, this was one of those grimly ironic situations where one simply laughed or cried. The low chuckle hiccupping from his mouth indicated which he chose. "It's nice to know you still have your strength Benson. Just save that for the perps from now on."

The smile that crossed her face was instinctive, the comfort this man elicited from her not having waned even after two and a half years. Pulling back, she reached up and cupped his cheek. "Are you sure you're ok El?" Olivia stroked his sallow skin with her thumb. The sight of his blood still scared her.

Elliot gulped, suddenly numb. Soft fingertips like red hot irons on his skin, he couldn't help but wonder how one touch from this woman affected him more than hours of brutal beatings in his captivity. 'Because it's Olivia Benson's touch.' What little intimate contact they had always affected him this way. "I'm fine," he choked out. "All I need is a napkin. Trust me I've had worse."

Dropping her hand, Olivia's heart clenched at the manner in which he said those words. 'He's not kidding, or making light.' What could have happened to him? To her El?

"Is it too late to invite myself in?" Elliot felt relieved to see the old banter come back to him so quickly.

Olivia felt the same. "I guess it's alright," she quipped back, rising from the carpeted floor. "You coming El?"

Remaining where he was, Elliot stared at her with haunted eyes. "A little help Olivia."

The light moment brought on by their banter immolated at that moment. Strong Elliot, needing her assistance to simply get up? 'Oh, El.' Reaching down, Olivia fought the tears that threatened to form. It shocked her how easily two years of anger and rage were simply sidelined, but seeing him so broken, so pained, all that remained was an icy sadness that stabbed at her heart.

It only got worse from there. Latching onto her hand to pull himself up – more accurately to help her pull him up – Elliot wrapped and arm around her shoulder for support. The ice pick dug into her soul yet again as Olivia saw his shambling limp, left knee barely able to prop his meager weight. Taking in her apartment, Elliot turned those haunted blue eyes to her. "Were you planning a party Olivia?"

Willing herself to not shiver at his touch and close proximity, memories of him flooding back now that he had returned, Olivia didn't register his voice until several long seconds had passed. "Um… yeah. Just the squad. Fin, Casey, Alex, Munch, Nick, Amanda…"

"Nick and Amanda?" Who are they?

Olivia set Elliot down on the couch before plopping right next to him. It was all so surreal, Elliot here in that… condition, her talking to him as if they never separated. 'Of course, I love him,' she thought. "Of course, you never met them. Nick Amaro and Amanda Rollins. They were the new detectives that transferred in after you le… disappeared."

"Right." Elliot's eyes sifted to the green sofa, counting the stiches in the upholstery. 'You have to tell her Stabler, you have to.'

A sudden gurgle from his stomach filled the room. Olivia couldn't help the smirk on her face. "Hungry Stabler?"

Unable to deny it, Elliot nodded. "Famished. Haven't eaten all too much in the last two years." It just slipped out.

The statement brought the ice pick out to stab at Olivia's soul. Trapping her tears beneath her creamy lids, Olivia stood and quickly dashed to the kitchen, even now unwilling for him to see her this broken. "What would you like El?" she choked out.

"Anything," she heard him say. "Even leftover Chinese would be hog heaven."

Rifling through her refrigerator, she ignored the party hors-d'oeuvres and grabbed a tupperware tub of corned beef. Two slices of bread, some cheese and mayo, a sliced onion, cut down the middle and viola.

Elliot's mouth immediately watered at the aroma of the sandwich, eyes focusing on the plate in Olivia's hand. "Here you go…" He took the plate from her, ripping into the sandwich halves voraciously. She watched him with half shock, half pain. The gauntness, the tortured eyes, the dining habits of a starved wolf. 'My El, what happened to you?'

The delicious beef hit the spot better than rice paste and watery lentil soup. Wiping his mouth and nose with one of the fancy napkins on the coffee table, Elliot sighed contentedly before he spotted a document on the table's glass surface. "What's this?" He reached over and took it between gaunt fingers. Eyes widened. "Sergeant's exam?"

Olivia answered with a nod. "Yes. Cragen is retiring and asked me to take his place."

"Wow." So much he had missed. "If anyone deserves it you do." He felt tanned fingers tapping on his knee. "Liv?"

Olivia's breath hitched, Elliot gazing at her intently, boring into her soul. She couldn't help the pain at feeling his thigh under his once strong legs. "Only skin and bones," she murmured, reaching to cup his cheek once again. "El."

Suddenly she found herself squeezed in a tight embrace. "Liv," Elliot cried, the tidal wave of overwhelming sorrow and joy at his predicament rushing out of him. The smell of her, long a treasured memory in the dank cave, wafted into his nostrils like the most pleasant flower. Lavender body soap, vanilla shampoo, and a unique odor he could only describe as 'Olivia.' Sobs wracked his body. "I missed you Olivia. I missed you so much."

The sensations were overwhelming. Elliot's arms squeezing her waist; Elliot's face buried in the crook of her neck; Elliot's hot tears drenching her skin. Elliot never cried, not once. Not even when Eli was born. Slowly, cautiously, she wrapped her arms around him, allowing him to purge his system. Once again she was assaulted by his scent, the wonderful scent of cologne, deodorant, and just plain 'Elliot.' The familiar odor danced in her nostrils. Tears welled in her lids as well. "I missed you too Elliot. God, I missed you." Wrapped in each other's embrace, Elliot and Olivia cried over two years lost.

EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO EO

Neither of them knew how long they were wrapped together on the couch, only that it had been enough to allow tears to dry and trembling to cease. Both wanted to talk, confess their souls but it was just so comforting. Finally expressing a level of intimacy that they had been too afraid to express in the past.

Olivia, however, knew that they had to get over the hump. "El…" she gently coaxed, moving to leave his embrace.

Reluctantly, Elliot complied, releasing her. His left hand remained firmly clasped to Olivia's right. "You want to know where I've been for the last two and a half years." It wasn't a question.

Biting her lip, Olivia nodded. A foreboding feeling welled inside her. It would only be painful to know, but on the other hand what choice did she have? The traces of anger and resentment at Elliot still bubbling inside her needed to be addressed. "Please tell me Elliot. I… I need to know."

Locking eyes with her, the beautiful brown orbs that haunted his dreams for so long, Elliot gulped down the knot in his throat. "Liv, please know that I would never leave you. I fully intended on returning to you as soon as I was ready."

She stared back into his azure blue pools, knowing he spoke the truth.

"After Jenna, I…" Elliot closed his eyes for a moment, face scrunching in still present pain. "It was so hard for me Liv. I killed a kid, an innocent victim just the twins' age. The memories kept haunting me afterword, they still do. Blood pooling around her body, the crack of my sidearm as it bucked in my hand, the ethereal breath leaving her lungs for the last time… How could I live with myself?"

"It was a good shoot El," Olivia replied softly, even after all this time leaping to his defense. "Jenna snapped and was on a rampage. She killed Sister Peg and would've killed many more." Heart clenching, she hated the outcome of it all; Jenna had lost everything and didn't deserve this. 'But she made her choice.' "You protected us."

"Exactly Liv." The gaunt face seemed to acquire a greater ashen quality as he spoke. "All that was running inside my head was that I had to save you. You. Not anyone else." He signed, sunken ribcage heaving weakly. "I'm not sure, it's just… after that everything in my life started to fall apart. Nightmares started to haunt me, almost all of them revolving around me being too late and Jenna killing you. Only alcohol helped numb the pain so I began drinking heavily."

Fingers clenching tightly to Elliot's hand, a deep ache rumbled inside Olivia's very soul. 'What did I do?' she lamented. After the shooting everything inside her said to give Elliot his space, let him recover. 'I should've gone to him.'

"Kathy must've had enough," Elliot continued, omitting the real reason. "She presented me with divorce papers one day and kicked me out. By this time I was a wreck Olivia. Knowing what I did about your mother and her situation with booze, I couldn't come close to you in that condition."

"You can always come to me El," she interrupted. 'I love you.' The second part died on her tongue, too fearful to voice the thoughts.

Elliot shook his head forcefully. "No, you deserve better Liv. I had to get myself back on track before returning to you. The kids helping me, I got sober and turned in my papers." His right moved forward to grab her free hand, the stare intensifying. "I couldn't go back Olivia. No matter what happened with you I just couldn't continue at SVU." Olivia nodded, understanding. "One of my old Marine buddies arranged for me a job in Washington." A moment of uncertainty flashed on his face before he shrugged it off. "Fuck it, if they want to throw me in jail for this then let them. It was at the CIA."

Now that was something unexpected. "The CIA?" 'Elliot as a spook?' He was certainly hot enough to be James Bond. Olivia only just repressed the blush that thought caused.

"Yeah, there's this organization called the Special Activities Division. Basically it's like the CIA's version of Special Forces. With my training as a marine and a detective it was a relative shoo-in." His stomach curled painfully, voice barely choking out what came next. "I listened to all of your messages Olivia, but I wasn't ready to call you back. I did what I could, using the kids and sending you my necklace, hoping against hope that you would understand that I still kept you close to my heart."

"Then why did you leave?" Olivia instantly regretted the pained flinch she caused in Elliot, her former partner recoiling back as if shot. 'But I have to know.' She had reasoned his initial five month absence was understandable, and she forgave him in her mind. But the rest… "Whatever contact you had with me ended two years ago. Why, if you still cared about me, would you do that?"

There was a tense silence, neither one wanting to break the haze that had descended upon them. "It was my first assignment," Elliot said, breaking the haze. "The Agency sent me and my team to Afghanistan; there was a large increase in Taliban insurgent activity along the Pakistani border and they wanted trained officers to assist the soldiers in gathering intelligence. It was supposed to be two months before I would be allowed home, and I planned on seeing you as soon as I touched down." 'And confessing my love.' "Two weeks in however, I was with a squad of Army Rangers at a mountaintop observation post; we were scouting enemy movements in the valley floor below. All of a sudden the air lit up with screeching rounds and lancing jets of flame." Olivia instinctively clutched Elliot's hands tighter, watching as his eyes glazed over with the faraway look of remembered horror. It was the same look as they both had gotten after a particularly gruesome case.

"El…"

He shook his head. "It's just hard remember. I'll spare you the gory details, but by the end every man in the position was killed – except me."

Olivia's heart began to beat wildly in her chest. She had a feeling where he was going…

"The insurgents found me when picking through the wreckage, deciding that I would be a perfect trophy to take before our helicopter QRF arrived. By the time I drifted back into consciousness…" Eyes closed at the painful memory. "I was in a cell deep in the bowels of an Afghan cave." He swallowed. "My home for the following two years."

A strangled gasp left Olivia's throat. Without warning she pulled him to her, desperate to prove to herself that he was alive, that he was with her. 'My sweet El,' she thought, hot tears singing her eyelids. White heat boiled in her veins, but not at Elliot, at herself. 'All this time I tried to hate him, believed the worst of him.' She had though Elliot left her to suffer, while he had likely endured her experience with Lewis on a daily basis for two years. And she had hated him all through it. 'What kind of monster am I?'

Choking out a strangled sob, Elliot scrunched his eyes tightly closed. "Please don't hate me Olivia. I failed you, please don't hate me." He couldn't tell her that he knew, that Muhammad had consistently taunted him with the famed Olivia Benson's activities – including one sensational kidnapping. "I failed you."

"No El," she cried back, struggling to maintain her composure. "I'm the one who failed you. You should hate me."

His arms clasped at her back, needing to feel the soothing warmth. "I could never hate you, Liv."

"Me neither." Each of them knew of the other's sincerity.

A rattle of the doorknob jarred both out of their moment. "Liv?" called a voice with a prominent, southern drawl. "You do realize your door's unlock…" The figure that entered, one Elliot could make out as a blonde in her mid-thirties, stopped cold at the curious and confusing scene. "Who's this?"

A/N: Well, Liv and El couldn't have expected his return not to have been noticed.

Anyway, did you like how I portrayed it? Parts of this actually made me cry.

Next time, we have the squad's reaction. Elliot will get punched again. Any guesses as to who will do the honors? ;)

Also, what about Cassidy?

Be sure to review and check out the latest updates of my other stories :)

God Bless

Alex