What Lies in the Heart
by: enchantingmagick
A/N: And I'm back guys! I bet you didn't expect a new chapter this soon, eh? I want to move this story along at a faster clip, so I'm going to aim for a chapter a week. I'm really excited to write the parts that are coming. I feel like the song Stitches, which I quoted below really gets me in their mindspace. We're gonna spend some more time with Rhett, because I feel as though I don't spend enough time trying to get inside his head and explaining his motives. Also, what do you guys think of the chapter length? Shorter? Longer? Perfect? As always, I would love to know what y'all are thinking.
Summary: Scarlett decides to do what will make her happy, and she makes some arrangements to that end. Rhett and the children return later in the morning from riding. Scarlett and Rhett fight over their future, and Scarlett gives in. Rhett gives her the divorce papers, and he asks her to sign them. Scarlett is uncertain about what her future will be outside of their marriage, so she asks for some time to consider the offer.
"Needle and the thread
Gotta get you out of my head
Needle and the thread
Gonna wind up dead"
-Stitches, Shawn Mendes
(Ashes)
All that could be heard was the crackling of the fire and the rustle of papers. An innocuous stack of white paper with expansive black ink sat on the desk in the parlor. She flipped through the stack slowly, the words that spelled her demise sinking in all the while.
What can I even do? she thought to herself, shaking her head in outrage at the paper before her. She had read through the document several times now. Possessed of the knowledge of what settlement would mean for her in exact assets, she had no choice but to accept how generous Rhett was being towards her. He had no obligation to provide for her children, but he had. There was money set aside for their schooling, for a new house if they chose, and for so many needs Scarlett had not even thought of herself.
Rhett was no black-hearted varmint. He was the faultlessly kind, thoughtful husband she had always wanted. Except it frustrated Scarlett to no end that Rhett was showcasing all of his best qualities, exactly when she needed to hate him the most. Of course he chose to be civil and generous to a fault, on the occasion of their divorce.
It would be Scarlett ruined at the end of the ordeal. The society women would never entertain her presence or even tolerate her. The divorce would confirm everything they already thought about her reputation. And of course this would all happen after the old peahens decided to love Rhett after all. Why, all of Atlanta was enamored of him.
Her fingers toyed with the pen slowly, rolling it between thumb and middle finger. The edge of the pen was caught between her teeth while she considered her options. Who was she kidding? There were two options: sign or don't sign. The empty line on the page waiting for her signature looked more daunting than ever.
The look of relief on Rhett's face when she said she would sign the papers briefly flashed before her eyes, bringing it with it a stab of sharp pain in her chest. His audible sigh of relief before his lips grazed her forehead taunted her. Her grip on the pen tightened and her signature was scrawled on the page before she had blinked. The simple, straightforward cursive of her signature stared back at Scarlett. It was done.
"Momma!" Scarlett's head whipped around to see Ella bouncing into the room with excitement.
"What is it, darling?" Scarlett asked impatiently, her gaze unfocused.
Recognizing the tension she had seen in her mother's expression, Ella immediately began to worry. That face never brought good news. Those pursed lips told her that Uncle Rhett wasn't coming home for Christmas. Those lips told her that she didn't have time to tell her a story right now. Those lips were going to tell her something awful. Ella reached out and squeezed her mother's arm gently. "What's wrong, momma? It wasn't that important anyway."
Scarlett's eyes became glassy, and she couldn't even fake a reassuring smile. How could she lie to her children even temporarily? How could she tell them it was all going to be alright? It would be one day, but that day was not today.
"Can you go get your brother, sweetheart? Momma's got something to tell you." The words were barely out of her mouth, before Scarlett saw Ella run out the parlor door screaming Wade's name. She heard an echo of footsteps and snippets of their conversation outside the door.
"Ella, you mustn't yell like that. Mother will get upset with you-"
"She's the one that told me to get you quick. Why are you always telling me what to do? I wish you-"
Gathering her strength, Scarlett steeled herself for what she would need to tell them. They came in through the door looking as stressed as she felt.
"Come here, Wade and Ella. Sit down right here," Scarlett began, pulling them in close by the floor to her skirts. Feeling the awkwardness of sitting above her children, she got out of the chair and sat down on the floor beside them.
"Your Uncle Rhett and I have decided that it's best if we don't see each other for a while."
Shock and confusion were etched into her children's faces. Wade's eyebrows knitted together and then pulled apart in sudden understanding, his entire face falling. His sister, meanwhile could not have looked more confused.
"What do you mean? He just got here. He can't leave again! I won't let him leave-I just" Ella got out before bursting into tears.
"What happened between you?" Wade asked calmly, quietly. There was no trace of anger in the set of his jaw, which wasn't quite what Scarlett expected.
"I'm not entirely sure, sweetheart. I still love him so much, but I think he just needs to be away from us right now. He knows that we love him, and that's all that matters," Scarlett managed to piece together. She wrapped Ella in a warm hug, wiping away her tears.
"I want to know what he has to say for himself. How can he leave us now? He just got back. He's been gone for months, and I think he owes you more of an explanation than that."
"Wade, darling. I don't think it's anyone's fault what happened. It certainly isn't Rhett's fault, so please don't blame him." Scarlett could hear Ella's sobs subsiding into sniffles.
"I just, Mother I can't believe this is happening," Wade said, before standing up and leaving the room.
Scarlett stood up and tugged Ella up to stand with her. "You want to go to Momma's bedroom?"
Ella nodded in response, allowing herself to be guided up the stairs to her mother's bedroom. She watched as her mother clambered into bed, fully dressed.
"But momma, we haven't had dinner yet. Why are you getting in bed already?"
"I'm tired, sweetheart. Momma's tired," Scarlett replied from her bed, curled up. Wordlessly, Ella climbed into bed with her mother. Pulling her child into her grip, Scarlett finally allowed herself to fall to pieces. Mother and child wept curled into one another, seeking limited comfort in the face of heartbreaking news. Everything Scarlett cared about. Everything she had ever wanted: gone.
(She Walks)
"Hello, mammy."
"Who is that over there?"
Pulling curtain of the bed wider, Rhett folded himself into a seated position on the edge of the bed. "It's me. Who else would it be?"
"Oh, you is a right devil, sneaking up on a ole woman like that. I told Miz Scarlett and I told her you'd come on up here if she asked," Mammy said, heaving a cough at the end.
"I didn't mean to surprise you, mammy. I'm sure you've missed me. It must have been awfully quiet without me," Rhett answered with a wink.
"I did not ask you to come all the way to Tara to have some silly small talk. What had gotten up in that head of yours to make you leave Miz Scarlett, when she needed you the most she ever needed anybody? She just about went crazy missing you and missing that chile o' yours. You just up and left when the goin' got hard, didn't you Mista Rhett?"
"I'm gonna let you talk to me that way because you're dying, mammy. You don't know what happened between us. There's been a lot that's said and done that I can't forgive."
"Well, you better forgive and forget real quick, Mista Rhett. You ain't gonna be happy with nobody else as long as Miz Scarlett walks this earth. You is gonna regret leaving her for the rest of yo life." Mammy fixed Rhett with a beady stare, that Rhett swore saw through everything ridiculous excuse he gave.
"I'm gonna chalk this speech up to how much you love Scarlett. The thing is there isn't anything anyone can do to fix what's happened between us. Too much has gone wrong, and now that Bonnie's gone there's just no reason to try."
"You love Miz Scarlett and that is plain as day. Don't try to lie to old mammy, now. I need you to make me a promise, before you get on with your business. You promise me you will take care of Miz Scarlett. She needs someone who gonna-" she broke off into a coughing fit before picking up again- "take care of her, whether she know it or not. That's my last wish, Mista Rhett. You think you can give old mammy that much?"
Rhett stood to pour her a glass of water from the nightstand, and he handed it to her. Patiently waiting for her to finish before responding, he simply nodded. He squeezed her worn, work-roughened hand between his own, promising her with something more valuable than words. Understanding exactly what he had said by saying nothing, Mammy patted his hand.
"Thank you, sir for coming to see me. I needed to tell you all o' that before I go," Mammy said a tear trickling down one cheek.
"Now, don't you get sentimental on me, mammy. You are gonna live another hundred years. I sure thought you'd raise one of my children, and there was no one I would have trusted more."
"Yo child was a beautiful soul if I ever seen one, Mista Rhett. Bless her soul." Mammy was crying at this point, the tears falling steadily.
"Thank you for everything, mammy. It sure was a pleasure to have you around. Don't you give up on us. Scarlett loves you too much to let you leave," Rhett said, standing up. He patted her hand gently once more, before he left.
(Like Father Unike Son)
His footsteps echoed on the stairs as he went back towards the library he had been using as a makeshift study. He closed the door behind him and walked straight towards the bookcase with the whiskey. He poured a couple of fingers into the glass and sat down in the chair behind the desk.
"Uncle Rhett, I've been waiting for you," came a soft voice from the corner of the room.
"Jesus Christ, you scared me half to death, Wade. I didn't see you there."
"I want to talk to you about why you're leaving us. Is it mother's fault? She said it wasn't anyone's fault, but I don't believe her," Wade started, pacing around in front of the desk.
"Son, it wasn't her fault, if that's what you're trying to get at. It's a lot to expect of two people, to love each other perfectly with no fights or disagreements. If you're like me and Scarlett, we've had a lot of disagreements along the way. Now, we've decided that enough is enough. I think we'd be happier apart."
"I don't think that she would be happier without you, Uncle Rhett," Wade answered evenly, gauging Rhett's reaction.
"Why do you think that?" Rhett asked him.
"She loves you too much. Do you have any idea what she was like while you were gone?"
That simple question prompted myriad responses for Rhett. The moment where his arms encircled her waist in her bed, and he had realized how thin she had become. The lines of worry that seemed almost permanently etched into her forehead that was once beautifully smooth. The seemingly irreversible downward slant of her lips when she thought no one was looking. The little tendril of hair that always escaped the clip at the back of her neck, the tendrils Scarlett seemed not to notice now. The intense pain in the depths of her beautiful, emerald eyes, wide-eyed and innocent staring back at him.
"I still love her-I mean I," Rhett blurted out without thinking. "It's complicated, Wade. I can't explain what's brought us to this point. I think this is best for the both of us."
"I just don't understand how it can be the best thing, when it will make her so unhappy." Wade looked so genuinely concerned for his mother that it touched Rhett.
"It has nothing to do with either you or Ella. You are both like my own children. You always have been, and you can count on me for anything you might ever need. These past few days have been wonderful, and I've enjoyed spending time with you both. I hope to see you soon, because I don't mean to leave forever. It will just take some time for this to all become normal."
"Is that all you can tell me?" Wade asked disbelievingly.
"I'm so sorry, Wade. I never meant to hurt either of you, please know that."
Turning his back, Wade left the room almost angrily. He couldn't believe that was the best Uncle Rhett could give him. He had thought that if he could corner him in the library, he would just tell him everything he needed to know to make sense of the situation. All he knew was that Uncle Rhett was leaving them again, this time for good.
(Angel in Heaven)
It was a new year. New Year's Eve had passed slowly but surely. Scarlett and the children had spent some of the evening in her room together talking after dinner and then she had sent them to bed. She had even dropped by Mammy's room, to let her know how much she was grateful for everything Mammy had done for her.
Now, she was waking up and starting a brand new day. For the first time, the new year looked worse than any year that had come before it. It was the first New Year's Day she would not visit Melly. She would not be able to wish Bonnie a Happy New Year's. Rhett would be gone soon enough too.
"Miz Scarlett! Miz Scarlett!" The screams pierced through the walls and door of her bedroom. Scarlett pulled on her dressing gown and opened the door to find Dilcey coming towards her.
"What's happened, Dilcey? Why are you yelling?"
"It's Mammy! Come quick, Miz Scarlett."
Opening the door to Mammy's room, Scarlett felt an immense, overwhelming sense of foreboding. Going to sit on her bed, Scarlett leaned forward to touch Mammy's forehead, because her eyes were closed.
"Mammy, are you alright? Please say something," Scarlett pleaded, touching her cheek. Scarlett's fingers then went to her pulse point. Nothing.
"She's gone." Scarlett gently closed Mammy's eyelids. She said nothing else to Dilcey and walked slowly back to her room.
She crawled underneath the covers and was convinced that the pain was just too much to bear. Was it possible to mourn the loss of so many loved ones? God should just strike her down now, instead of putting her through this punishment, she thought.
(The Bottom, Rock Bottom)
The next day, Scarlett got dressed and came down to eat. She wasn't hungry, but she needed something to distract her thoughts, if only temporarily. She had known this day was coming, so she thought that she was prepared. Even now, she had not realized that nothing could prepare you for the pain of losing the ones you care about. Absolutely nothing can prepare you for having them ripped out of your life so suddenly. They're in your life one minute, giving you everything you need. The next moment, it's just like they went away for a little while. Then, you realize that they are never coming back.
And that's when the knife guts you deep. It just keeps cutting relentlessly, Scarlett thought. There's no escaping the reminders, because they are everywhere. The little blue ribbons in the dress shop. The toys in the nursery. The room she used to sleep in. The Bonnie Blue flag. Everything blurred together for Scarlett. The loss of Mammy, together with the loss of Melly and Bonnie, and her parents, and Frank. It just couldn't be possible for one person to bear this much, Scarlett wondered. She felt like she was drowning, and she could not scream for help.
Scarlett had just began buttering her toast at the table, when Rhett burst into the room.
"I'm leaving today, Scarlett. I've got some business to attend to in Charleston, and I ought to be headed back," Rhett began casually, having slept late that morning.
"Mammy's gone."
"I'm terribly sorry, Scarlett. We were blessed to have her as long as we did," Rhett said, by way of apology.
Scarlett stood up from the table and walked into the parlor. Following her out of the dining room, Rhett gathered his suitcases from the foot of the staircase. She returned back to the foyer with a folder in her hand.
"I suppose you'll need this, since you're leaving," Scarlett began handing him the folder.
"Thank you so much for being as civil as I could have hoped, Scarlett. I hope the New Year brings you some good. I'll be in touch."
"One last thing, Rhett. I hope you won't sign these unless you're sure. If you find you have even an ounce of hope, I wouldn't sign it. You owe me that much," Scarlett finished, kissing Rhett on the cheek.
Rhett left out the door, into the waiting carriage. As the carriage rode away, Rhett couldn't deny himself one last glance towards the porch. He could just make out the outline of a woman in lavender leaning against the pillar, watching him ride away.
A/N: You guys are the very best, absolute rockstars. I've got a lot more in store for you guys, don't you worry. Feed my curiosity. I'm dying to know your reaction/what are you guys thinking?