notes: our internet has been wacky all day and this is not a fun thing. in other news, today was a snow day so i made pancakes and they were delicious.
nonsense: amenah i still can't believe you read this. and to everyone, this thing is not going to go down like you think it is, let me assure you.

x

{and if i had to walk a runway in high heels in front of the whole town, i'd fall down}

x

ii. beauty queens never say die

Lucy shuffles her feet and pulls her jacket tighter around her frame. She probably doesn't even look like a human being anymore, considering the fact that's she buried under hundreds of layers of sweaters, tights, knee highs, scarves, mittens, and hats. Okay, actually she's only wearing four layers, one hat, one chunky scarf, mittens, tights, one pair of leg warmers, and boots, but still. The blonde scowls at the snowy ground and the frosted flakes drifting down from the sky.

"God," she huffs in disdain as she surveys Magnolia in its full Winter Wonderland glory. "This isn't even earth. It's like I'm standing in the middle of freaking Hoth."

Bitterly, like a freshly-brewed cup of espresso, she simmers and continues to trudge through the snow. It would have been better to take the bus. It would have been easier, too, but no, she didn't want to pay the stupid required bus fee of a buck twenty-five. Curse her petty penny-pinching and that damn 3DS game she's been saving up for. Fire Emblem isn't going to keep her warm when her fingers literally feel like they are about to fall off.

Magnolia isn't a large town by any means. It definitely isn't as backwater as Clover, which is about ninety miles over, but it's still pretty forgettable. It's barely big enough to have a bus system, even though there's only one public bus that caters to the whole town. Which sucks majorly, by the way. It is a small town, the bus is never ever on time, it's cold as balls in the winter usually (like now), and everybody knows everybody. She and her father can't even go to the grocery store without running into someone they know. That's probably mainly due to the fact that they only have like, four grocers, but whatever.

The blonde ducks her chin into her scarf in an attempt to keep out the biting wind. She'd give anything to have Natsu next to her right now. He's like a freak of nature because of his permanent and unusually high body temperature, and he acts as a sort of radiator. Not that he knows it. But no—he is currently preoccupied over at Laxus' house planning some disastrous senior prank that is sure to backfire in some unpleasant way or another. Gosh, he's one of her best friends, and yet he isn't here in her time of great need.

Speaking of best friends, she glances up at the rickety sign swaying overhead and sighs. It makes a series of unsettling sounds (not to mention the fact that it appears as if it's going to fall off at any given moment and behead a bitch) and she sneers. The thick black iron loops and curves in the words 'Magnolia Acres', which is really just fancy lingo for the town's one and only trailer park.

Kicking up snow drifts, she walks under the iron archway into the park. She's been here before hundreds of times, knows that before long Max's old hound is going to start barking at her any second, and that Angel's disgustingly tie-dyed curtains are going to be pulled closed like always. It's an old place, worn down to the metaphorical seams, yet still running. Most of the trailers are still in pretty decent condition, ignoring a shutter hanging on its hinges here, and a precariously rotting porch there. It's homely, especially with the few deformed snowmen scattered around and tracks where children have been and left snow angels behind.

She stuffs her hands in her pockets and makes her way down to lot thirteen, where sits a tired periwinkle trailer with chipper white shutters drilled with two hearts each, and a freshly swept porch. Lucy stomps up the steps and knocks her boots against one of the supports a few times in an attempt to get most of the snow off. Then she raises a fist to knock on the door. It's answered by a head of messy blue curls, and the blonde grins.

Levy, who has been her best girlfriend forever, smiles and waves her in. "Lu, hi! I'll be ready in a few minutes, I just need to take this batch of cookies out of the oven."

Lucy follows the shorter girl inside and is instantly relieved when she's slapped with the warm air after the front door shuts. Levy bustles into the kitchen, and the blonde smiles at her "Kiss the Cook" apron thrown over a light orange sweater and a pair of jeans. They're so long that Levy has had to roll them up a few times so that they hang just above her ankles. She slides around on the linoleum floor in fuzzy purple socks, humming the Scooby-Doo theme song and reaching for an oven mitt.

"Hey Lucy, would you mind grabbing something for me out of my room? I promised Erza that I would lend her a book, and it's back there on my bed."

Lucy dips her head and turns to make her way down the hall. Levy's room is the second door on the left, and it's barely changed in the past few years.

There's the same old shag carpeting that dates somewhere circa the 70s, probably. Levy's bunk bed is off to the side, even though she's never had anyone to share it with other than her friends. Her purple bead spread is still there, nearly made, with an old High School Musical throw pillow from their middle school days proudly on display. It's all a bit cramped, to be honest, but there is also a desk with a cup full of pens and pencils sitting on top, a chair shoved into the space under it when not being used, and a closet full of clothes. There are books tucked away in every possible nook and cranny, and an ancient NSYNC poster hanging on the wall, along with pictures of Levy's friends, and a list of upcoming tests.

The blonde feels an old tug of nostalgia, with resurfacing memories of sleep overs, whispered conversations about boys, and braiding friendship bracelets. She snags the book off the bottom bunk with some care and gently closes the door behind her when she leaves.

Levy is awaiting her in the front room, already bundled up in a thick gray pea coat and white scarf, and is in the process of pulling on gloves, her hat hanging from one hand.

She smiles up at Lucy, who glances in the kitchen at the chocolate chip cookies cooling on the rack. "Ready to go? A milkshake sounds so unbelievably good to me right now."

Lucy snickers. "Lead the way, Lev. There's a basket of curly fries with my name on it and I'm ready to be reunited."

x

Juvia and Erza are standing outside Fairy Tail's door waiting for them to arrive. The oldest member of their friend group, also known as the designated Mom Friend, greets them from behind the fluffiest pink scarf Lucy thinks she's ever seen in all her life. Juvia spreads her gloved fingers in a wave and nods in their general direction before pulling open the door.

The little bell hanging overhead dings a couple of times, indicating their arrival, and the four make their way toward a booth. Fairy Tail is the best diner in the entire county, hands down, despite the rumored reviews on Yelp that claim otherwise. Literally no one uses Yelp ever, though, so that makes it mostly okay.

It's got that small town homey feel to it—with worn faux leather seats at the booths, shades pulled down over the picture windows that are always open, black and white tile floors, a bar with stools that spin in three-hundred-and-sixty degrees, and some of the best food around. There's an entire wall of hanging frames full of pictures of the baseball and football teams through the years, as well as several depicting various kids at school functions or competitions. Miss Magnolia 1984-2015 is hanging just above the more impressive winners of the school science fair, all 31 varying versions of her.

The girls slide into their usual booth and barely have time to remove their extra layers before Mirajane is sashaying their way. Winner of the 2011 pageant, she still looks like a vision—even wearing the faded salmon uniform dress with an apron covered in mustard and barbecue sauce stains, long hair messily pulled up into a makeshift bun and held in place with a chewed-on pencil.

She has a dripping rag in her hand and a bright smile on her face. "Hey girls! I can't serve you right now, but Romeo will be on over in just a sec. You gotta try one of Elfman's new shake combinations. They're to die for."

Despite the fact that it is Bloody Cold outside, Levy's already rosy face brightens.

It's silent for a bit after Mira hurries away to clean a table as new patrons enter. Lucy breaks this ambience by slamming her palms down on the table and consequently scaring the crap out of their approaching waiter.

"Okay, can you believe this?!"

Levy sighs and leans back. "She's a little miffed about the upcoming pageant."

Lucy splutters and fumes like a stove. "'A little miffed?' That's like saying Anakin Skywalker was a 'little upset'," here she uses very aggressive air quotations, "that his mother died. A little miffed."

"E-excuse me," they turn to look up at the boy standing at their table.

Romeo Conbolt, local freshman at Magnolia High. Lucy (who he used to have a crush on) and Juvia used to babysit him sometimes on the weekends when his dad worked overtime. He's relatively good friends with Natsu's cousin Wendy, and apparently old enough to work as an apprentice waiter.

He fumbles to hand the girls their menus and then pull out a pen and tablet from his apron. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

Juvia flutters her lashes unintentionally. "I'll have a root beer."

Levy grins. "Milkshake. Tell the cook to surprise me."

"Coffee," Erza supplies mildly.

Lucy looks up at him. "Same as Juvia," she leafs through the menu briefly as Romeo attempts to scribble down their orders. "And I'd also like a large basket of curly fries with a medium double chocolate vanilla shake and a jalapeño burger to go. No pickles, hold the mayo, and add some bacon. Please."

She flips the menu closed and holds it out to him. Romeo stares. "But miss," he begins hesitantly, "the large basket is family size. It serves six people."

The blonde slowly shakes her head and pushes the menu out toward him. "I know what I'm about, son."

Romeo reaches out and takes the menu like it has some kind of contagious disease. "...I'll be right back with those drinks and your fries."

Erza watches him lope away. "Jumpy little fellow." she turns to Lucy. "Anyway, what's there to be so worked up over? I think it will be a fun experience."

Levy holds up a finger. "Plus there's that scholarship on the line. I don't really care about the crown or the title, that stuff is pretty ephemeral. But ever since they added this full ride to the college of your choosing as a prize, I know that it's definitely caught my attention."

Juvia pushes her long hair over her shoulder and leans forward. "Weren't you and Levy in pageants when you were younger? I've seen that crown hanging in your closet."

"Yeah well," Lucy mumbles dejectedly, choosing to stare out the window in favor of making eye contact with her friends, "I was like, six. Winning the Little Miss Sunshine pageant doesn't count. Besides, these things are totally different. It's not just about who's the cutest anymore—this is war. And everybody wants to win."

Two pairs of eyes turn toward their shortest friend, and Levy laughs nervously. "It has been a while…but," she pauses, "little pageant girls are just like these contestants. Just…all grown up."

Lucy rubs her face and moans. "God, I don't want to remember. The hours spent sitting in a chair getting my makeup done, and my hair—it's not even marginally curly, and yet—and the glitter. So much glitter. And," she cringes, looking particularly sick, "my dad gets really crazy when it comes to these things, okay. It's like—like he's pageant Momzilla or something. You'll see. He'll be terrorizing the crew soon enough. He's a nut. Like, there aren't enough cans in the world to hold all that."

Juvia squints. "Mr. Heartfilia? Losing it? You cannot be serious."

"Deadly," the blonde monotones. "The man has BFs."

Erza makes a face as Romeo brings their drinks and Lucy's fries around. "What?"

The present Heartfilia picks up a couple fries and crams them into her mouth. "Bitch fits. My dad has Bitch Fits. Like this one time, okay, where I had to go on in five minutes and my hair wasn't done properly. My mom had to restrain him because he was screeching at the stylist."

She looks down at herself and dips a fry in her milkshake. "And look at me. Behold, the human embodiment of 'I Don't Give a Shit.' I'm a mess, guys. There isn't a stylist in the world that can fix this forty car pileup on the interstate to Hell. Then there's you guys—" she gestures to them with her chocolate-dripping fry.

Juvia blinks rapidly as the blonde takes her visage in. She's dressed like one of those Coolest Kids on the Block types today. Like, you couldn't even touch her if you wanted to. It's probably fourteen degrees out, and yet her friend is sitting here in a black tennis skirt, sheer tights, knee socks, Doc Martens, white tee with a tiny alien's head on the left, and white earmuffs. She's wearing earmuffs inside and still looks like a vision. All she needs to complete her aesthetic is a few small pots of green succulents, one of those clear water bottles that you can infuse fruit into, and a leather jacket. She has the appearance of one of the Baddest Bitches on the Block—and oh, she is. Juvia could win in a heartbeat.

Erza always looks pretty. She wears sundresses in the summer with strappy sandals, pea coats with boots in the autumn and she always looks just a stunning as the leaves falling from the trees. Winter is no different, because she has a wide range of fluffy things to keep her warm. Erza may be nineteen, older than any of them, but that doesn't change the fact that she would like positively killer in an evening gown and heels. Her grandpa would be so, so proud of his little girl.

Levy is tiny, but she makes up for it in spunk and personality. Lucy's seen her in pageants before, and watched her win. She's so smart, and she needs that scholarship so she can get out of Magnolia and move onto better things. So she doesn't have to live in a second-rate trailer park and end up working at a diner all her life because she never made it out. Because her family can't afford to send her away, because half of the money goes toward other things that don't help anybody.

Lucy bites her lip and drops her shoulders. She's content to stay here in Magnolia if that means one of her friends could win this stupid pageant. The odds are stacked against them, but she'd rather be cheering them on from backstage than competing against them. It wouldn't be the same without her mother by her side, anyway.

Levy reaches over and places a hand over hers. There's a smile on her face. "Aw, Lu. Don't go worrying about us, okay. We don't want to compete against each other, either."

Juvia pops a bubble of gum Lucy wasn't even aware she was chewing. A slow, devious grin spreads over her face. "Then what if we don't?"

The other three girls turn toward her. Her indigo eyes are sparkling with mischief, and a plan is formulating in her mind. Juvia's father is in the air force, and although he may be away most of the time, he's still managed to pass on some of his calculating and strategic skills to his daughter. "Lucy and Levy, you've been in at least one of these competitions before. Erza knows a hella lot about them—yeah, I saw the tapes at your house, and I've seen your Pinterest board—and I know how to royally mess shit up. What if we worked together to…"

Lucy feels a smile of her own coming on. "…are you suggesting that we sabotage the pageant?"

Juvia shrugs, fluffy earmuffs and angelic face making her look like the pinnacle of innocence. "Maybe. There are seventeen contestants, and the pageant is in three weeks. We don't ruin anyone's chances, because that's not fair, but we can sure as heck screw this thing seven ways over. So what do you say, girls?"

Erza taps her chin but places her hand over Juvia's outstretched one. "This is definitely against my morals."

"I never liked being up in front of people anyway," Levy sighs and copies Erza's action.

Lucy barks a laugh and puts her hand on top. "It'll be nice working with you, ladies. Let's try to have a good pageant, yeah?"

Suddenly Juvia yanks her hand out from everyone else's and ducks below the window. "Hide me!"

Erza barely has time to ask what she's doing when the doors opens and they're hit by a gust of chilling air. "Hey Mira," a familiar voice calls and Lucy looks away from her panicking friend and toward the sound. "Go any hot coffee?"

Mirajane beams and tosses a towel over her shoulder. She pulls out a pen and tablet as the figure takes a seat at the bar. "Gray! I was beginning to wonder when I would see you again. I just brewed another pot. Would you like anything else to go with that? The usual, maybe?"

Gray Fullbuster—captain of the football team, a part-time mechanic, one of the hottest guys in their school, and Juvia's crush since the third grade—smiles and nods. "Sounds good to me."

"Oh my god," Juvia heaves, his voice like an arrow to the chest. "Oh my god."

Lucy raises a brow as the girl slides out of the booth and attempts to hide under the table between their legs. She'd known about Juvia's crush on Gray forever, but this was entirely new. The blonde had known Gray since sixth grade, too, and did not understand her friend's obsession with him at all.

And then, the guy in question glances over their way. She can practically hear Juvia's internal screaming.

Yeah, the girl may have been cool, but she was also one of the lamest people to ever walk the planet.

Gray slides off his seat and makes his way toward their table. Lucy notices a black smudge on his cheek and the distinct smell of oil, and concludes that he's probably just off work. "Lucy, Erza, Levy," he greets with a lazy wave, "hey."

"Hi Gray. How are you today?" Lucy says with an excessive amount of cheeriness, much to the chagrin of her friend under the table. Juvia pinches her leg. The blonde kicks her in the shin.

Gray blinks at the muffled "ow" and Levy grins nervously and shakes her hand. "Oops. I uh, I accidentally hit my elbow?"

He looks at them a bit weirdly but shakes his head. "Good. I heard you're all in the running for Miss Magnolia. I wanted to congratulate you."

Lucy dies a little on the inside. This is how it started. "Oh yes. We're very excited, aren't we girls? Super, duper excited. We have never been more enthusiastic about anything in our entire lives. Isn't it great? Fry?"

"Uh," Gray hesitantly reaches toward the potato wedge held out to him in offering, "thanks. Oh hey, when you see Natsu, will you kindly tell him that I want Battlefront back?"

The blonde closes her fists and waves them a little. "Sure thing, Fullbuster. I'm assuming you want that postmarked asap?"

"Yeah," he nods and throws a glance back over his shoulder to where Mira is pouring him a cup of coffee and Romeo is approaching their table with food. "Well, I gotta go. But congrats you guys."

Lucy smiles. "Thank you."

They watch him leave and the blonde attempts to shake Juvia off her leg as Romeo places their orders on the table. Erza gives the to-go bag a puzzled look. "I didn't know you liked jalapenos?"

"I don't," Lucy says as she picks up her own burger. "It's for Natsu. He'll complain for days if I don't bring him something." she spares the space between her and the table a glance. "Are you gonna come out now? Your food is here."

"I'm not resurfacing until he leaves," comes Juvia's muffled response. "Sneak me food under the table."

Lucy rolls her eyes but reaches over to Juvia's plate to pick up half a grilled cheese. Levy takes a sip of her shake. "So you're going over to Natsu's?"

"No," the blonde answers as she slips the sandwich under the table. "He just shows up at my house. Like every day. Can't be helped. Here, take this before I look like I'm dropping food under the table."

Erza claps her hands. "So when do we go dress shopping?!"

x

end notes: gray's first appearance sucks but i forgot that i said he was going to be in this chapter so i had to add him in.
next time on: jude "everything must be bedazzled" heartfilia, lucy in the sky with diamonds, talents of many colors, Oh No Our Coach is Hot, and conspiracy theorist juvia.