Sorry this took so long! I had writer's block and attempted to write and re-write this 3 times. It wasn't how I pictured it going but we're just going to roll with it. Hopefully the last part will be up by this weekend! Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. I really appreciate them.

Kara shot up in bed, dazed and confused. She could feel the sweat dripping down her forehead as she peered all around her bedroom, unsure how she got there. The last thing she remembered was being ripped from Alex's clutches and strapped down to a metal table while she screamed until her voice went hoarse.

Then, everything went black.

She took a deep breath and grabbed the covers tightly. The sun was streaming through the small crack in the brightly colored curtains. Kara looked down at the comforter when she heard light footsteps and hoped it wasn't Hank Henshaw. She had already embarrassed herself in front of him enough.

"Kara, hey." It was Alex. Her voice was so soft and full of concern that Kara didn't want to even make eye contact with her sister for fear she'd break down. "How are you feeling?" Alex perched herself on the edge of the bed.

"C-confused," Kara stuttered. She closed her eyes when Alex began rubbing soothing circles on her back. Her grip on the covers got tighter and she could feel her fingers numbing. "How, how did I get here?"

Alex kept her distance in case Kara wasn't ready for physical contact. "Hank brought you by around two am."

Kara looked at the clock and gasped when it was past eight. "Work! I, I have to be at work. Oh…oh my god. Ms. Grant is going to fire me for sure."

"Relax, relax," Alex commanded when Kara attempted to get out of bed. She held her sister in place and brushed the hair out of her eyes. "I called Cat earlier and told her you weren't feeling well. She seemed pretty understanding."

"N-no," Kara began, frantically shaking her head. She wished her voice would stop shaking. It made her sound like a ten year old. "She's, she's going to be mad!"

"She won't be mad," Alex promised. She placed her hands on Kara's shoulder and tried not to frown when she shrugged them off. "And if she has a problem when you go back to work, I'll talk to her."

"No!" Kara screeched. "This is so embarrassing. She's going to hold it over my head that my big sister called out of work for me."

Alex rolled her eyes at her sister's rambling. "Breathe, Kara. In and out."

Kara reluctantly did as she was told and sat up straighter when a cold shiver ran through her body. She twitched, clearly not used to the sensation. "I'm c-cold."

"You blew out your powers last night," Alex supplied carefully, noticing the look of horror sweeping across Kara's face. She got off the bed and rifled through Kara's closet for a hoodie. "Oh, here's my old Stanford sweatshirt. I've been looking for this." She threw the sweatshirt at Kara and chuckled when it landed right on top of her head. The younger girl, however, was not amused.

"Mean," Kara mumbled with a slight pout, throwing the rather large red sweatshirt over her head. "My head hurts."

"Do you want some aspirin?"

Kara merely shrugged. "Will it make the elephant that's sitting on my head go away?"

"Hopefully," Alex said with a weak smile. She grabbed her purse from the corner of the room and dutifully deposited two pills in Kara's outstretched palm. "Take them with some water, okay? Swallow slowly."

"I know how to swallow, Alex," Kara said in annoyance. She shoved the two white pills in her mouth and downed them with a large gulp of water. "I feel like I've been hit by a bus. It's not a good feeling."

Alex sat back down on the bed and patted her sister's knee. "Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?"

"No," Kara automatically replied, fixing her gaze down to her lap. She absently traced the faded polar bears on her pajama pants and sighed.

"Mom will be here soon," Alex whispered, wondering if that would trigger a reaction from Kara. She still didn't look up. "I cleaned your entire apartment and threw out all the expired stuff in the fridge."

"W-why?"

"Why?" Alex scoffed. "Because that's one less thing mom can hassle me about. You know she's going to blame me for the way you live like a college student."

"No. Why did you call Eliza?" Kara looked up at her sister, eyes swimming with tears.

That wasn't the reaction Alex was expecting. "What? Why wouldn't I call her? She's your…" She trailed off, watching Kara's face grow cold.

"She's my what?" Kara asked icily. "My mom?"

Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "You know what I mean."

"My mom's dead, Alex," Kara snapped. She kicked the covers off her lap and attempted to get out of bed, nearly falling face first onto the ground. Her head was spinning and it felt like the room was moving.

Alex stood up and slung her arm around Kara's waist. "You need to take it easy. You're weak. Get back in the bed."

"No."

"Kara, don't do this," Alex pleaded, her voice breaking. "Don't shut me out."

"I, I don't need your mom to take care of me," Kara argued lowly. She pushed Alex away and fiddled with the sleeves of the oversized sweatshirt. "I don't need anyone to take care of me."

"You had a breakdown," Alex blurted out, shocking herself and Kara with the revelation. "A really bad one."

Kara began to shake her head frantically. "N-no. No, I didn't." She refused to believe what Alex was saying. "So I cry at the DEO once and everyone thinks I'm crazy?"

"Kara, you had to be restrained and sedated," Alex pointed out. She closed her eyes and hoped that would keep the tears at bay. Kara couldn't see her cry. She had to be strong and hold it together. "You bit Agent Carson!"

"Only his thumb! What a baby," Kara scoffed in defense.

Alex sighed and looked Kara dead in the eyes. "You need to stop and think about what happened. This isn't something you can sweep under the rug and pretend like it's all sunshine and roses when it's not."

Kara plopped down on the bed and crossed her arms petulantly. "Can't you just…can't you just leave it alone?"

The incessant knocking on the front door cut Alex off as she went to open her mouth. Kara was glad to be spared the lecture. She wasn't ready to face Eliza but had no choice when Alex pulled her off the bed.

"Have you always been this strong?" Kara tried to joke but Alex wasn't having it.

Alex motioned for Kara to open the door when the knocking got louder. Eliza was getting impatient. "Open it. You're the one she wants to see."

Kara felt the nerves ignite and let her hand hover over the door. She took a deep breath and plastered on the biggest smile she could muster. "Eliza-"

"Oh, you poor thing." Eliza immediately rushed in and engulfed Kara in a tight hug, nearly knocking the younger girl down. "Alex, get my bags."

Alex rolled her eyes and kicked her mother's obnoxiously large carry on bag across the threshold and let it sit in the corner of the kitchen. "Mom, easy. You're going to crush her."

"I'm finding it hard to breathe," Kara admitted, her voice muffled by Eliza's shoulder. She rubbed her stomach when Eliza pulled back. "Have, have you been working out, Eliza? You're a lot stronger than you were at Thanksgiving!"

Eliza narrowed her eyes at Kara's nervous tone. "I'm flattered, honey, but no. I know what you're doing. You did it when you first came to live with us."

"W-what am I doing?" Kara took a step back and pulled anxiously at the sleeves of her sweatshirt. She could see Alex looking at her in the corner of her eye. "Can't, can't I just compliment you on…on your newfound strength?"

Alex stared at Kara in concern. "Are you having a stroke?"

"No!" Kara snapped. "I am not having a stroke!" She looked between Eliza and Alex, feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. "I, I don't know what Alex told you but I'm fine. Totally fine. No need to worry."

"Alex told me you had a breakdown," Eliza said skeptically. She glanced at her elder daughter in concern. "She called me crying so I know it must have been serious."

Kara felt like the walls were closing in on her. She took a step back and frantically shook her head back and forth. "N-no!"

"Kara," Alex implored desperately. "Please."

"Sweetie, it's okay that this happened," Eliza started softly. "You're being pulled in so many different directions. It was only a matter of time before you broke down. It doesn't make you less of a person, Kara."

Kara was breaking. She bit down on her bottom lip and stared intently at the hardwood floor. Her body was trembling but she refused Eliza's embrace. She refused Alex's embrace. "I, I just want to be alone."

"We're here to help." Eliza tried a different approach. "You don't need to be embarrassed about what happened."

It was all coming back to her so suddenly. The feeling of being ripped away from the one person who made her feel safe, the feeling of the restraints chaining her wrists to the cold table, the feeling of her teeth sinking into Agent Carson's thumb right before he injected a rather large needle in the side of her neck.

She couldn't hold it together anymore. It started with a tiny sob that could not be contained by throwing her hand over her mouth. Then, Eliza held her tightly and there was no use fighting back. Kara cried harder and threw her arms around Eliza's waist, burying her face in the crook of the woman's neck and breathing in the familiar lavender scent. But it wasn't bringing any comfort to her. She kept thinking about Alura and how she couldn't remember what she smelled like. She couldn't remember if her mother's eyes were green or blue or what her voice sounded like.

It wasn't as cold as Atra's voice; but it was similar. They had a similar cadence to their tone. Sometimes, if Kara closed her eyes, she couldn't tell them apart when she was a kid. Astra had green eyes. Green eyes that were full of deceit. Did that mean Alura had green eyes as well?

"I, I can't remember," Kara sobbed quietly, her grip tightening on Eliza when it felt like she was pulling away.

Eliza smoothed down Kara's hair. "Remember what?"

"I can't remember what color my mom's eyes are," Kara admitted in a tiny voice. "And I can't remember what her voice sounds like or what she smelled like."

Alex felt a pang of jealousy that Kara was wrapped up tightly in Eliza's arms. She stepped forward and gingerly rubbed her sister's back. "I know it must hurt," she whispered softly, letting her fingers play with Kara's limp hair. "But think about it, Kara. You came to earth with nothing but the clothes on your back. You had no pictures, no reminders of your family on Krypton. It's not your fault."

Kara sniffled and slowly but surely loosened her grip on Eliza.

"She's right, honey," Eliza continued for Alex. "Don't blame yourself for not being able to remember those things about your mother."

"Sometimes I wonder why she sent me away," Kara rasped shyly. She readjusted herself in Eliza's arms and started to feel the motherly affection she had been suppressing for the past twelve years because she felt like it was betraying her own mother, wherever she may be.

"She wanted a better life for you."

That wasn't the answer Kara was looking for. She ripped herself free from Eliza and nearly fell backward into Alex. "This isn't a better life! I'm, I'm…" her voice was breaking yet again and she couldn't control the flood of tears rushing down her cheeks in waves. "I'm not normal. I'm never going to be normal. Why would you guys want me anyway? I just ruined things."

Now, Alex spoke up. "Is that what you think? That you ruined things?"

"Yes," Kara whispered, her voice devoid of any emotion. "Jeremiah would still be alive if it wasn't for me! Maybe Eliza wouldn't be so hard on you if it wasn't for me."

"Jeremiah's death was not your fault, Kara," Eliza stressed carefully, making sure her tone wasn't too angry so it would not upset Kara further. She laid a gentle hand on Kara's shoulder and squeezed it affectionately. "I don't want to ever hear you blame yourself for that again. Understand?"

"And mom would still be hard on me. Even if you never came to live with us," Alex said jokingly, poking Kara's sides. She frowned when Kara simply stepped away and hugged herself tightly to stop her body from shaking. "Kara, we love you. We're your family."

"Your mom would be proud of you, sweetie," Eliza complimented softly. "She raised you with the heart of a hero."

"No. No. No."

Astra was getting inside her head again. Her words were twisting like a knife.

Kara whipped around and glared at her foster mother and sister. "No! My mother was…she was…a liar. She lied to me."

"You need to stop letting what your aunt said cloud whatever memories you have of your mother," Alex demanded harshly. "She's trying to get in your head and it's clearly working. Remember your mother the way you want to."

Kara kicked the back of the armchair in the corner of the room and whimpered when the pain shot through her foot. It only escalated her frustration.

Eliza stepped forward again and hugged Kara from behind. Alex felt helpless. Usually she could get Kara to respond, not her mother.

"How about you let Alex tuck you back into bed and I'll run to the store so I can make you some chocolate pecan pie?"

Kara sniffled and twirled the strings on the sweatshirt around her index finger. "No fair," she whispered. "You know I can't resist pie." She closed her eyes when she felt Eliza kiss the back of her head lovingly.

"I know." Eliza smiled and gently guided Kara toward Alex. She was grateful when Kara didn't think twice about grabbing on to Alex's outstretched hand.

Kara felt Alex's slightly smaller hand squeeze her own and instantly felt safe. She let her older sister pull her to the bedroom and watched Alex fluff the pillows and pull the blankets down so she could slide in.

"Do you need anything?" Alex asked softly, watching Kara's eyes fighting to stay open. She pulled the covers up to her sister's chin and kissed her forehead.

"Stay," Kara pleaded in a small voice. She tugged on Alex's arm and scooted closer when the elder girl climbed over her to get in the bed. "H-hold me."

Alex held Kara tight when she basically rolled on top of her. She couldn't remember the last time her sister was this needy and vulnerable. It was like the first year when she came to earth. Those nights were long and miserable for everyone.

Kara closed her eyes as Alex ran her fingers through her hair but remained alert in case her sister decided to leave her again. "You, you let those men take me away."

"I had to," Alex answered after a long pause. She heard Kara sniffling and knew her sister was going to start crying again. "Do you really think it would be fair to me if I had to be the one to sedate you?"

"They, they strapped me down and just…" Kara trailed off as her voice broke. Her fingers buried themselves into Alex's shirt. "I kept screaming your n-name but you never came. Y-you left me."

"Kara, I had no choice." Now, Alex was trying not to cry. "You wouldn't calm down. What else were we supposed to do?"

Kara nestled herself further into Alex's arms and tightened her hold. Alex bit her lip at the sudden pressure on her rib cage. "I thought…" her voice was so faint that Alex had to strain her ears to hear. "I thought they were taking me away."

"W-what?"

"I wasn't thinking, okay?" Kara rolled away and sat up, massaging her temples when her head began to pulsate. "How do you deal with this…this throbbing pain?"

Alex couldn't help but laugh and rubbed Kara's back. "By sleeping." She coaxed her sister to lie back down and snuggled into her side.

"Can't I take more aspirin?"

"In four to six hours, yes."

"That seems pointless," Kara grumbled.

"Did you really think the agents were taking you away?"

"Everything just happened so fast," Kara acknowledged sadly. She closed her eyes and let the calming rhythm of Alex's heartbeat soothe her. It was something that oddly comforted her as a kid. "I don't even remember what happened."

Alex sighed. "You had a breakdown."

"I couldn't help it," Kara finally admitted. "Everything just…happened so fast. I don't know what happened. My anger just…"

"I know," Alex cut in when Kara's voice trailed off with a slight hiccup. She continued to stroke her sister's hair and was grateful that she was calming down and ready to process what happened. "It got the best of you."

"I'm sorry I ruined…you worked so hard on it."

"Don't worry about it," Alex promised. "I can fix it. If you want."

Kara shook her head. "Maybe. Not now. I don't know." She played with the bracelets on Alex's wrist and closed her eyes. "Sometimes I don't know if I can do it anymore."

Alex was afraid to ask what Kara meant. "Do what?"

"Be Supergirl," Kara confessed hesitantly. She wiggled free from Alex's iron clad grip around her waist and sat up, fixing her gaze across the room. "It's too hard sometimes. All the time. It's too hard, Alex."

"I think you just need some time," Alex whispered, sitting herself up and letting her hand hover over Kara's. Her sister was rejecting any source of comfort. "Hey, hey, look at me. Kara, look at me?"

Kara just shook her head and buried her face into her hands. "Can I just be alone?"

"If you keep bottling things up this could happen again. It's not good."

"I know," Kara whimpered, grabbing a fistful of her comforter. "But right now I just want to wallow. Let me wallow."

"Wallowing's not going to help, Kara," Alex said smartly. She took a breath and closed her eyes when Kara got off the bed. "Calm down. Please."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Kara snapped. There it was again. The anger flared up almost instantly. "You don't know what it's like, okay?"

"I know, but I'm trying to help."

"You want to help?" Kara glared so harshly at Alex that the older girl took a step back and held her hands up in defense.

"You know I do," Alex said genuinely.

Kara could see her sister blinking back the tears. But she could not control it. She couldn't keep her rage down. "Leave. I don't want you here. Or Eliza. Or anyone."

"Kara, stop. You're not being rational."

"If you don't leave," Kara threatened but stopped when her voice betrayed her and cracked immediately.

Alex crossed her arms defiantly. "What are you going to do? Zap me?"

Kara's body shook as she went charging toward her sister but Alex immediately caught her by the waist and held her so tight, she could barely move.

"I know you have a lot of anger, Kara," Alex whispered, trying not to wince when Kara yelped and desperately tried to get herself free. "And maybe you need someone to take it out on, but I'm not the one you're mad at."

"Let me go," Kara yelled. "You're hurting me! You're hurting me!"

"Alexandra!" The sound of Eliza's voice immediately made Alex let go. "What in the world are you doing?" She rushed over to check on Kara and bit back the gasp rising in her throat at the sight of rage in Kara's eyes. "Kara, sweetheart."

"Mom, don't," Alex tried, tugging on her mother's arm. "Just leave her. She doesn't want us here." It was killing her but if that's what Kara wanted, that's what she was going to get. There was nothing more she could do.

"That's not true." Eliza bent down and tried to get Kara to look up at her. "What is going on with you, Kara? Talk to me. Please."

Kara just shook her head over and over again. She was almost catatonic. "Go away."

"I will not go away."

"Mom," Alex said with a little more authority in her voice. "Leave her."

"I'm not going to leave her like this," Eliza yelled back, standing up and watching Alex step back in fear. "She needs her mother."

Alex closed her eyes and braced herself for the worst.

"You're not my mother!" Kara screamed so loud, her voice shook.

Eliza placed her hands over her mouth in regret and stepped back when Kara got up and began pulling angrily at her sweatshirt. "I didn't mean, you know what I mean."

"You're not my mother," Kara repeated again.

"But we're your family, remember?" Alex whispered, swallowing past the lump in her throat. It was like Kara had no idea who they were. She had never ever felt this terrified of her sister. Sure, there was the slight anxiety when Kara would get mad as kids and her eyes would flash but nothing ever, ever happened.

"No," Kara couldn't help but laugh sadly. "My family is gone. You're not my family. You're not my mother. You're not even really my sister."

"Kara-" Eliza began but stopped when Alex stormed out of the room. She rushed after her daughter and tried grabbing her arm to stop her. "Alex, honey. Stop. She's not in the right place of mind now. She needs you."

"No," Alex replied after a minute. She felt the tears stream down her face but she refused to look up at her mother. "She doesn't."

Eliza winced when Alex slammed the door so hard, it rattled the entire loft.