I can't even begin to apologize for not updating for nearly a year! I had to move during the summer and I was caught up in the stress of my classes. But fret not! I have officially returned and will now post a new chapter weekly. I am also aware that Stephenie Meyer has published a genderswap version of Twilight, Life and Death. It was a very interesting read. I was not surprised that she had an alternate ending to the story, considering it would be painstakingly boring for her to basically rewrite her whole story.
But not for me!
As you can tell, this story will be half/half AU, but when it comes to the other books, these stories will eventually pan out to be their own thing.
Well then, thank you so much for your patience and I hope you enjoy this chapter.
Disclaimer: You'd be pretty stupid to believe that I own Twilight
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In the dream, everything around me was dark, and what little light there was seemed to radiate from Ella's skin. Her face was cloaked in the blackness, and all I could see of her was her back as she walked away from me, leaving me alone in the darkness. No matter how loud I yelled, she never turned to me. Troubled, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep for what felt like a very long time. She was in each and every one of my dreams after that night. But just like the first dream, I was never able to get to her.
The month after the accident was, in one word, embarrassing.
I was the complete center of attention for the rest of the week. Taylor Crowley followed me for what seemed like every second of the school day. I tried telling her that everything was fine and to forget about it, but she remained persistent to make up for it. She followed me in between classes and even sat at our lunch table, which was now crowded. Michelle and Erica were even less friendly toward him than they were towards each other, which made me think that I gained another unwelcomed fan.
The weird thing was that no one seemed to be concerned about Ella, even though I explained that she was the one who saved me. I tried convincing Jessie, Erica, and everyone else, but none of them claimed to have seen her anywhere until the van was pulled away. Which made me wonder why no one else saw her standing so far away.
Ella was never surrounded by crowds of curious bystanders eager for her firsthand account. People were avoiding her, as usual. The Cullens and the Hales sat at the same table as always, talking only to each other and never eating a bite of their lunches. None of them ever glanced my way anymore, but Ella kept staring at me, but with a calculating look. Almost as if trying to solve a puzzle.
When she sat next to me in class, she wouldn't be sitting close to me like she usually would, yet wasn't distant enough to be near the end of the table. Every now and then, I would catch her staring at me from the corner of my eye, but did little to actually acknowledge me.
I wanted very much to talk to her, and the day after the accident I tried. The last time I saw her, outside the ER, she left me in a state of confusion. I was still peeved that she wouldn't trust me with the truth, even though she knows that I wouldn't tell anyone. But that still didn't change the fact that she saved my life, no matter how she did it.
She was already seated when I got to Biology, looking straight ahead. she turned to me when I sat down, meeting my gaze.
"Hello Ben," she said kindly.
"Hey Ella," I responded, pleasantly surprised that she talked to me.
She nodded, then turned her attention to the board.
And that's pretty much how it went on every day, just greetings and gazes. I watched as her golden eyes glowed brighter each day, though I don't know why. We were distant, yet close all the same. I felt content. And the dreams continued.
Michelle, meanwhile, seemed pleased by the obvious coolness between me and my lab partner. I could see that she was worried that Ella's daring rescue impressed me, but she still looked cautious , as I showed neither gratitude nor hatred. Yet she grew in confidence, sitting on the edge of my table to talk before Biology class started, ignoring Ella as she no doubt listened in on our conversations.
Jessie reminded me of the upcoming Girls-ask-Guys dance looming on the horizon. He called me the first Tuesday of March to ask if it would be alright if Michelle ever asked him to the dance in two weeks.
"Are you sure you wouldn't mind if she did? Do you not want to go with her?" he persisted when I told her I wouldn't mind.
"No, Jess, I'm not going," I assured him. Five-year-olds could dance better than I ever will.
"Come on, man, it'll be fun." I have a feeling that Jessie likes my inexplicable popularity more than my actual company.
"I'll be fine. If she does ask you, have fun with her," I encouraged.
The next day, I was surprised that Jessie wasn't his usual spunky self in Trig and Spanish. He kept silent whenever we walked together between classes, and I had a feeling why. He probably asked Michelle if she was going to ask him to the dance. If she turned him down, I'd be the last person he'd tell.
My suspicions were confirmed when Jessie sat as far away from Michelle as possible, distracting himself by talking to Erica.
Michelle was still quiet when she walked with me to class, the uncomfortable look on her face a bad sign. But she didn't bring up the subject until I was in my seat and she was perched on my desk. Ella was sitting a bit closer to me when she did the same greet and gaze, close enough to where our shoulders almost touched. Her gaze lingered a bit on Michelle before turning her head forward. I have a feeling that she knows what Michelle was about to ask me.
"So," Michelle said, staring at the floor, "Jessie asked if I was going to ask him to the spring dance."
"That's great," I said with convincing enthusiasm. " I hope you have a lot of fun together."
"Yes, well…" she she began, clearly not happy with my smile in response. "I told him that I would have to think about it."
"Why would you do that?" I asked in disapproval, showing that I was not in favor of her answer to Jessie.
"Well you see...I was wondering if you would go with me," she asked. Her face was bright red as she continued to stare down at the floor.
I paused, feeling a wave of guilt wash over me. But I saw, from the corner of my eye, Ella's head turn in my direction, possibly wondering if I'd take the offer.
"I think you should ask him, Michelle."
"Did someone already ask you?" Did Ella notice how Michelle's eyes flickered in her direction?
"It's not that," I assured her. "I'm just not sure if I'll go or not."
"Why not?" she demanded.
I didn't want to mention my horrible dancing , so I made something up.
"I might be heading out to Seattle that Saturday," I lied. Honestly I just wanted to avoid the attention that I'd most likely
"Don't you think you can go some other weekend?"
"Like I said, I might be going," I said. "But you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer. It's rude."
"Yeah, you're right," she mumbled, and turned, dejected, to walk back to her seat. I closed my eyes and began to rub my temples, in an attempt to relieve the stress that was building up in me. I sighed and opened my eyes.
And Ella was staring at me curiously, that same calculating expression present on her face.
I stared back, eyebrow raised, expecting her to look away. But instead she continued to hold her gaze with probing intensity. there was no question of me looking away. We just continued looking on.
"Miss Cullen," the teacher called, seeking the answer to her question.
"The Krebs Cycle," Ella answered as we continued to stare at each other.
I managed to tear my eyes away from hers to my book, trying to find my place. Being the coward that I am, I hid my face behind my arm that was propped up on the table.
I felt a blush creep up on my face. That was the longest moment of contact we had in six weeks, even if neither of us said a word. I felt like she had complete control over me, which I don't think was supposed to be healthy.
"Ben?" Even though we haven't really talked in a few weeks, her voice was as if I've heard it just yesterday.
I turned to face her, our eyes meeting once again. I can already feel myself begin to be distracted by her too-beautiful face.
"Are you finally going to speak to me again?" I asked, showing annoyance for her not talking to me.
"I'm sorry," she apologized sincerely. "I'm sorry that I haven't been talking to you lately. I've had a lot to think about."
"Really? Because that only took me a few days to do," I responded, still sounding annoyed. "Well It's a shame that you couldn't finish all that thinking earlier. You could have saved yourself all of this regret."
"Regret?" The word, and my tone, obviously caught her off guard. "Regret for what?"
"For not just letting that stupid van kill me."
She was astonished. She stared at me in disbelief.
When she spoke, she sounded a bit angry. "You think I regret saving your life?"
"Why else would you be avoiding me?" I asked angrily.
"Like I told you, I had a lot to think about," she snapped. Yeah, she was getting mad.
I quickly gathered my books together, then stood and walked to the door. But, being my usual clumsy self, I caught the tip of my boot in the doorjamb and dropped all my books. I stood there for a moment, thinking about leaving them. Then I sighed and bent to pick them up. She was already there; she'd already stacked them into a pile. She handed them to me, an amused smirk on her lips. She really seemed to be getting a kick out of all this.
"Thank you," I said, hesitating for a moment.
She gave me a small smile, even though we had a small fight just a minute before. "You're welcome."
I straightened up swiftly, turned away from her, and stalked off to Gym class without looking back.
As usual, Gym was absolute hell. My team for basketball never even passed me the ball, which I suppose was a good thing. But today I was worse than usual because my head was so filled with Ella. I tried to concentrate on the game, but she kept creeping back into my thoughts just when I really needed the balance.
After class, I practically ran for the truck. Luckily the truck's tail lights were the only things I had to replace after the crash. The side of the bed was scratched up, but nothing like a bottle or two of spray paint to cover that up.
I nearly had a heart attack when I rounded the corner and saw a small, dark figure leaning up against the truck. I calmed down when I noticed that it was Erica.
"Hey Erica," I greeted.
"Hey, Ben."
"How's it going?" I asked while unlocking the door to the truck. I never noticed the uncomfortable edge to her voice, so her next words caught me by surprise.
"You see, I was wondering...would you like to go to the spring dance with me?" Her voice squeaked on the last word.
I recovered my composure after a moment of silence and gave her a warm smile. "Well, thank you for asking me, I'm flattered. But I'm going to be in Seattle that weekend."
"Oh," she said dejectedly. "Well, maybe next time?"
"We'll see," I said, not wanting to make any promises. Although I felt a bit bad for lying to her.
She walked to back to school. I heard a light chuckle.
Ella was walking past the front of my truck towards her Volvo, her lips pressed together. I opened the door and hopped inside, revving the engine as soon as I closed the door. Ella was already in her car...and parked directly in front of me.
I rolled the window down and stuck my head out the window. "Do you mind?" I called out to her.
"Not at all," she responded innocently. "I'm just waiting for my family. She was really starting to get on my nerves today.
While I sat there, looking everywhere but at the car in front of me, I heard a knock at the passenger door of the truck. I looked over; it was Taylor. I glanced at the rearview mirror, confused. Her car was still running, the door left open. I leaned over and cranked the window down.
"Sorry Taylor, Cullen's parked in front of me," I said apologetic.
"Oh, I know - I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." She grinned.
Here we go again…
"Will you go to the dance with me?" she asked.
"I'm not going to be at the dance, Taylor," I said a bit harshly. I guess that my patience for the day was just about gone.
"Yeah, Michelle told me that," she admitted.
That surprised me. "Then why-"
She shrugged. "I just wanted to make sure that she wasn't lying."
"Sorry, Taylor," I said, working to hide the irritation that threatened to seep into my voice. "I'm gonna be heading to Seattle."
"It's fine. We still have prom."
And before I could answer back, she walked away. I groaned as I lay my head against the steering wheel. I have a feeling that the time around prom will be worse than it is now. I looked ahead of me to see Alex, Robin, Emma, and Jasmine all climbing into Ella's Volvo. In her rearview mirror, Ella's eyes were on mine. I could tell by looking that she's laughing at me, as if she heard what Taylor said. God, I'd love to just bump into her car, just enough to scratch the silver paint.
I closed my eyes and sighed, then pulled out of the lot, not wanting to deal with the theoretical aftermath. I'm already stressed as it is…
When I got home, I went up to my room and flopped down onto my bed with a grunt, relieved to finally be laying down. Just as I was about to fall asleep, I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I turned onto my back and pulled it out to look at the ID.
It was Jessie, and he was pretty damn excited; Michelle found him after school to accept his invitation to the dance. I congratulated him, albeit sluggishly from my very brief nap. He then spouted on about convincing Angel to invite Erica, the girl in my Biology class, and the same to Laurent, a guy at our lunch table even quieter than me, asking Taylor. He then tried to convince me for the hundredth time to go to the dance. I just responded lazily to his question with Seattle again, barely even paying attention.
"Oh!" he yelled into my ear, jolting me from my daze. "By the way, don't know if you care or not, Ella Cullen came up to me and asked some things about you."
Wait, what?! "Woah, hold on, what kind of things?" I asked abruptly before he could hang up.
"Personal stuff, like where you're from, your hobbies, whether you have a girlfriend of not, stuff like that," he responded casually.
"And you told her all of that?!" I asked incredulously.
"Yeah, I figured that you didn't mind letting her know a little about you, considering your little crush for her," he said mischievously.
My face turned red at his response, mentally thanking God that we were talking over the phone. "I do not like her! I mean yeah she's pretty, but I barely know enough about her to actually like her," I said firmly, hoping he doesn't call out my lie.
"Ah, then I probably shouldn't have told her that you DO have a crush on her," he murmured.
I hung up and dropped the phone onto my bed, hiding my face in my hands with a look of despair on my face. I honestly don't know how much more stressful this day could become. I laid back down on the bed and closed my eyes, deciding to just go to bed.
When I pulled into school the next morning, I parked as far away as possible from the silver Volvos, trying to delay the inevitable embarrassment that I'll be experiencing before the end of the day. Getting out of the truck, I knocked my elbow on the doorway dropping my keys. Before I could grab them, a pale hand shot out and grabbed them before they even landed on the ground. I looked up to see Ellen Cullen leaning on the truck with my keys dangling on her finger, a grin on her face.
"How do you do that?" I gasped.
"Do what?" She dropped the keys into my hand as she spoke.
"Appear out of thin air?"
"It's not my fault that I'm quick," she murmured, her voice soft like silk, still wearing a grin on her face.
I was about to say a comeback, but suddenly remembered what Jessie said to her.
I stared at her, managing to suppress the heat threatening to enter my cheeks. Her eyes were that same golden color. My thoughts got confused and I had to look down, noticing how close she has gotten, less than a foot.
Silence overcame us, yet it wasn't awkward. All that was happening was her staring at me, now smiling. Honestly, if not for me thinking about our proximity, I'd find it kind of creepy.
"So!" I said abruptly, "I thought you were pretending I don't exist."
"Ah. That was for Taylor's sake. She was figuratively dying for a chance to get with you."
I blinked. "Wait, did you convince her to ask me to the dance?"
"And no, I'm not pretending that you don't exist," she continued, ignoring my question.
I met her eyes again, trying hard to keep my eyes focused, no matter how golden they seemed, or how flawless and pale her skin is, or how kissable her light pink lips are.
"What exactly do you want from me?" I asked her.
Her smile dimmed a bit, but was still there. "Nothing," she said quickly, making it obvious that she was lying.
"Really?" I asked incredulously, crossing my arms. "Jessie told me about you asking him some personal questions about me. I would like very much to know why that would be."
She stared at me for a second before answering, "Because you are utterly impossible."
I stared at her for a few seconds before throwing my hands into the air, turning on my heels and walking towards the school.
"Wait," she said, but I forced myself to keep moving, not looking back.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you," she said, somehow right next to me. Probably due to those long legs of hers.
"You didn't offend me," I said a bit angrily, "You're just confusing the hell out of me, and it's a bit frustrating."
"How so?"
I slowed to a stop and looked over into her intense stare, as if she's determined to find out why.
"Well first, you acted as if I was the spawn of Satan, then you invade my personal space, then you ask as if I don't exist, then you want to know personal things about me, and now you act like we're the best of friends," I said, crossing my arms dramatically at the finish.
She stared at me for a few seconds, then raised her eyebrow. "Are you done?"
I sighed in defeat and put my arms down, knowing that she won't answer my question. "Yes"
"Well then, now that I can speak, I heard that you were going to Seattle the day of the dance, and I was wondering if I can tag along, give you a ride."
I blinked. I was not expecting this.
"Why?". Was she now pitying me?
"Well, I thought you could use some company. Plus, I don't think that your truck would ever make it there."
I never really cared much about cars, but I could feel a bit of prejudice against her Volvos at her comment.
"I'll be fine, thanks."
"Listen, I know I've been a bit odd with my behavior…"
"You can say that again," I muttered.
"..but I'm tired of trying to stay away from you. Now I would like you to be my friend."
There was no humor or pity in her face now. Just her eyes narrowed. Her voice also had a strange heat to it. I forgot how to breathe.
"Well?" she demanded, voice still burning.
I stared at her for another minute, then closed my eyes and sighed. "Fine."
A smile reshaped her face. "Excellent," she said, "I'll see you in class."
She turned on her heel and then walked back the way she came.
I stood still for a second, then closed my eyes and started to rub my temples.
She'll be the death of me.
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Thanks for reading! Feel free to ask any questions and I'll have a new story next week!